[lace-chat] *Must* see
Hi everyone, The University's Film Society opened the season with the Friday/Saturday showing of "Spellbound" (Jeffrey Blitz, director; USA 2002). I saw it yesterday, and recommend it highly. I know it's available on DVD, because - much to my chagrin - that's all the film club is now showing; they've abandoned the 16mm reels altogether. I've always been (and still am ) mystified by a culture which allows its children to remain happily ignorant of basic spelling (no dictations, compositions are not corrected or downgraded in the spelling area) throughout the school years. While, at the same time, it makes a big (and I mean *big* ) fuss about the few "spelling athletes" (all 14 or younger) who can spell words they neither understand, nor will ever use... What's more, they are required to spell those words not on paper (as one normally would), but into the air... Only in America... :) Still... Reaching out for the American dream via a spelling bee has become a time-honoured (since 1925) custom; one, which can have entire communities involved in promoting "their own". The film (a 97min documentary) follows 8 kids, as they progress from their own "environment" (Texas, California, DC, New Jersey, Pennsylvania etc) to (and through) the national finals (DC, televised for the entire country). Fascinating, funny, heart-warming and heart-breaking, nail-biting... DH couldn't understand what prompted me to go and see it at all, but I think I'd like to see it again - this time, without the audience's laughter drowning out some of the dialogue, and with the opportunity to stop the tape, rewind, and see/hear a scene again --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Old Geezers
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, its Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." -- A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?" " Twelve thirty." -- Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Well, you said 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' Doc - so that's what I'm doing." The doctor looked puzzled for a few seconds before the light came on. "I didn't say that. I said, 'You got a heart murmur. Be careful.'" -- A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "arthritis." -- "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure." -- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. - Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?" -- I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But. Thank goodness, I still have my driver's license! - A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?" "You're damned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!" - God, grant me the senility To forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune To run into the ones I do, And the eyesight to tell the difference. -- At 85 years of age, Morris marries Lou Anne. A lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new, but aged, husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed, and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough, the knock comes; the door opens and there is Morris, her 85 year old groom, ready for "action." They "unite as one." All goes well; Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Morris. Again, he is ready for "action." Somewhat surprised, but nonetheless willing, Lou Anne consents to more "conjugal bliss." When the love-birds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves. She is set to go to sleep again, but Morris is back again, rapping on the door, as fresh as a 25-year old. Ready for more passion. Once again, they enjoy one another. But as Morris prepares to leave again, his young bride says to him: "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris." Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says: "You mean I was here already?" To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] A Response to "The Compouter Has Swallowed Grandma!" Written by Maurice D.
I've got your note about your Gran, You've put me to the test! I've spent some time researching this, And the news is not the best. It can cause a family deep distress When their Granny goes "off line", And hasn't fed her pussy cat And it's nearly supper time. She hasn't even left a note, And it isn't any fun, When her pussy cat is pining, And her crossword's still not done. So with lots of trepidation, I made a call to young Bill Gates, To tap into his knowledge base, And what he speculates. But Bill Gates' ready answers Somehow didn't seem to gel, So I thought I'd better check up With the CIA as well. So I bribed and probed and bribed some more, And I'm sorry to relate, There's been a massive cover-up - The biggest one to date! Now it's hush-hush, but it's rumoured That the Yanks are working hard in Systemic Cyber Sabotage, Designed to kill Bin Ladin. When he taps in certain code words, I've been told that he will face, An interminable existence, Exiled in cyber space. So perhaps there is a danger, For those who wish to bake, And enter on the search machine, Code words like "Afghan Cake". So I'm sorry 'bout your Granny, And the cat that isn't fed, And I'm sorry that the crossword's Not complete in time for bed. So until they get Bin Ladin, And it hasn't happened yet, Unless you want to join your Gran, Go carefully on the net. Maurice D. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] what's French wire?
Thanks, Lorri, that sounds interesting. I must make sure I supervise the event :-) Still doesn't explain why the wire has to be French, but... Helene, the froggy from Melbourne, starting to prepare for the ALG conference in Adelaide. Hope the weather will be nicer than 2 years ago! --- Lorri Ferguson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Helene and all, > > In the US, we have a product in jewelry repair/manufacture called French > Wire. It is a very small coil of ultra fine wire which is threaded > over the cord used in bead stringing. A short (1/4") piece is installed > 'over' the cord at the point the cord will be passing thru the clasp >loop. This is done to protect the cord from wear. > However, there are now modern designs where the French Wire is > installed over the thread 'between' beads (usually teardrop forms) to >keep a space between the beads when worn. It also gives the illusion that >the cord is metallic. It is used as a design element. > My guess is that what the demonstration is going to cover is the > latter of the above uses. If you get a chance to go let us know how >and/or what the technique and product is. > > Wishing I could attend, Lorri > Find local movie times and trailers on Yahoo! Movies. http://au.movies.yahoo.com To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Motto for Life
> Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving > safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in > sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body > thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO HOO - What a > Ride!" David in Ballarat To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] :) Fwd: The Parrot and the Magician
I have a dezhavoo (sorry, that's the best French imitation I can do ) feeling about this one. But, far enough removed to be worth recycling. From: A.N. A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different every week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over and over again every week. One problem. The Captain's parrot saw the show every week and began to figure out how the tricks were done. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of each show. "Look he's hiding the flowers under the table" "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades? The magician was furious but couldn't do anything it was after all the Captain's parrot. Then during a fierce storm, the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then another and another.. Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could hold back no longer. "Ok I give up. Where's the bleeping ship? --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
