i) should the fully qualified domain name to my SIMS server be "mail.softdawn.net" or simply "softdawn.net"?
It SHOULD be something.softdown.net but that something can be anything you want. You should also, if possibly, have rdns that resolves to the same name.
ii) when setting up my mail client to retrieve messages from SIMS what name should I give to the to the Incoming Mail Server - "pop.softdawn.net", or something else?
The FQDN of the amilserver
iii) when setting up my mail client to send messages via SIMS what name should I give to the Outgoing Mail Server - "mail.softdawn.net"?
Same.
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