Re: A warning from the future
In retrospect I realize it was all a big mistake. I send down one of my ten
billion only begotten sons only this particular one is a paranoid with a
big mouth and everybody takes him seriously. His delusions of grandeur
resonate with ignorant desert tribesmen whose idea of fun is to fight over
camels. Then, about sixty years later after everybody has forgotten exactly
what
he says they collect the stories and they become a best seller. Shortly
thereafter Roman priests and pederasts get involved, then another desert
dwelling lunatic named Mo comes up with a different version that is almost
exactly the same but worse.
I did everything I could to dissuade people from believing this gibberish.
I sent war, plague, and famine to everybody who bought the bull but it only
reinforced their faith. It occurred to me to hide the original set of evil
fairy tales so I sent a little shepherd boy to collect the scattered texts
and hide them in a cave. That worked fairly well until cavers came along.
Who could have imagined that in the late twentieth and early twenty first
centuries people would be so bored they would have nothing better to do than
to crawl into holes in the ground?
So it came to pass that not too long ago a Bedouin caver discovered some of
the hidden scrolls not far from the aptly named Dead sea in the accursed
land of Yidzrael. The rotting fragments made no sense, and that should have
put the matter to rest, but nooooo! Ask yourself, has peace come to the
middle east?
So I have finally had it. There are other yet undiscovered scrolls
awaiting discovery and misinterpretation and I simply will not allow it.
Henceforth all caving is banned along with all direct discussion thereof. No
more
trip reports, only off topic apocrypha will be allowed. As to cavers
themselves I condemn them to old age and death. The use of electronic media is
part of my plan. No more scrolls in caves that might be found later, just
pointless babbling that will disappear from earth once the lights go out. As
you
have been repeatedly warned, that day is coming soon!
God