Jeff,
Thanks for opening up to us and making us feel we can do likewise. You can
run the gamet with emotions with this
disease, one of the worst being depression. It would be wonderful if we
could all help each other. Emails like yours
will make this much easier. Bless you and I hope we will be hearing from
you often. Janice
----- Original Message -----
From: L T CHERPESKI
To: msersl...@yahoogroups.com ; tmic-list@eskimo.com ; jeff bernier
Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 8:33 PM
Subject: Re: [TMIC] DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded
Hi Jeff,
Thank you for your very heartfelt letter. It takes a special person to be
able to share these struggles with us - to completely bare your soul. Bless
you. My personal opinion, for what it's worth, is that I believe there are
many TMers, MSers here who may at one time or another had these very feelings -
deep depression, feelings of despair. It is not unusual, but also not easy to
admit it. There is NO shame in depression. On the TMA Message Forums under
Depression, there are many many stories about what people have gone through and
how they made it through.
Jeff, you are an inspiration to all of us. It's wonderful that you have
offered to be there for anyone of us who might need to talk. You're really a
great guy! God Bless you
Linda - Eagle,ID
----- Original Message -----
From: jeff bernier
To: msersl...@yahoogroups.com ; tmic-list@eskimo.com
Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 1:12 PM
Subject: [TMIC] DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded
THIS IS MEANT TO BE A LITTLE ADVICE FOR ANYONE ON THE LIST THAT IS OR
HAS,SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION AND REALLY AIMED AT THE NEWER DX MEMBERS HERE,MOST
OF US THAT HAVE BEEN HERE AWHILE CAN ATTEST TO MY STORY AND WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN.
IT WAS A BEAUTIFULL SUNNY SAT MORNING FEB 5 2000,I WAS A
FIREFIGHTER/PARAMEDIC AT A STRUCTURE FIRE,I HAD MY CAREER GOING INTO FULL SWING
AND WAS LOVING WHAT I WAS DOING,I FELT AS THOUGH I FOUND MY TRUE CALLING.AT 30
YEARS OLD WITH 12 YEARS ON THE JOB ALREADY,I HAD 4 BEAUTIFULL CHILDREN AND A
WIFE THATS I LOVED DEARLY,EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE WAS WHERE I WANTED IT.THEN CAME
THE FALL,I WAS ENTERING A BUILDING AND SLIPPED AND FELL ON ONE STEP WITH ABOUT
70 LBS OF GEAR ON AND WENT BACKWARDS LANDING HARD ON MY HEELS AND COLLAPSING IN
THE SNOW AND HAVING EVERYTHING TURN WHITE FROM MY FACE BEING BURRIED IN THE
SNOW.
I FELT A SHOCKWAVE GO UP MY SPINAL CHORD AND IT SCARED THE HELL OUT
OF ME,BECAUSE I HAD HEARD OF THIS HAPPENING TO OTHER PEOPLE,WITH IN WEEKS I WAS
IN A WHEELCHAIR AND DX WITH TRANSVERSE MYELITIS AND GETTING NO ANSWERS,IVE
LEARNED THE FIRST YEAR IS TOTAL CONFUSION AND SPENT HOPING YOULL WALK AGAIN,THE
SECOND YEAR IS THE WORST BECAUSE REALITY SETS IN AND YOU START TO REALISE
THERES NO TURNING BACK AND YOU STRUGGLE TO ACCEPT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO
YOU,THATS WHEN I FOUND THIS LIST AND REALISED THAT HEY! THERE IS OTHERS OUT
THERE WITH SIMILAR CONDITIONS,I CREDIT THE MEMBERS OF THIS LIST AND MY CHILDREN
FOR PREVENTING ME FROM TAKING MY LIFE AND I KNOW THERES MEMBERS ON HERE THAT
HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT,ITS THE HUMAN RESPONSE WHEN YOUVE HIT ROCK BOTTOM.ITS NOT
WORTH IT,THERES SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR AND LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.
WELL HERE IS THE TWIST TO THIS STORY,I WAS DX WITH MS IN JUNE 2005
AND THIS BROUGHT A WHOLE NEW SET OF FEELINGS AND CONFUSION AND AGAIN I CAME
BACK TO THIS LIST.
LAST MOTHERSDAY MYSELF AND MY WIFE OF 16 YEARS SEPERATED AND MY HEART
WAS CRUSHED,I NEVER HAD THE TIME TO DEAL WITH MY OWN HURT AND INTERNAL STRUGGLE
BECAUSE I WAS DEALING WITH MY KIDS PAIN,THE HOUSE I WAS LIVING IN WAS PUT UP
FOR SALE BY MY OWN FAMILY AND I WAS GIVEN 3 MONTHS TO FIND A PLACE TO LIVE 2
WEEKS AFTER THE SPLIT UP.IN OCTOBER IT FINALLY HIT ME FULL FORCE WHAT HAD
HAPPENED AND I WENT BACK INTO A DEEP STATE OF DEPRESSION AND COULDNT FIND AWAY
TO CLAW MYSELF OUT,I LOST 65 LBS AND MADE 13 TRIPS TO THE HOSPTIAL,BUT I BEAT
IT AND THIS IS MY POINT.IF YOUR AT ROCK BOTTOM THERES ONLY ONE WAY TO GO AND
THATS UP,I DUG MYSELF OUT TWICE WITH NO MEDICATION AND NO SHRINK,THERE IS
SUNLIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE BARREL YOU JUST NEED TO FIND A WAY TO GET TO IT.YOU
ARE IMPORTANT TO SO MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE AND ITS ABOUT BEING TRUE YOURSELF
AND THOSE THAT LOVE YOU.
AS FOR ME IM OK AND GOING DAY BY DAY,IM STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH MY
WIFE AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER,OUR KIDS ARE DOING GOOD AND COPING,I HAVE
DAYS WHEN MEMORIES HIT,BUT IVE LEARNED METHODS TO COPE WITH IT.IF ANYONE ON
THIS LIST NEEDS A VOICE OR SOMONE TO CHAT WITH.PLEASE CONTACT ME AT
dsrtstr...@yahoo.com .
DIPLOMACY DOES NOT
WORK WHEN DEALING WITH
NUT'S HELL BENT ON
DESTROYING US.
