Re: I have news

[Ludwig A.W.]

Alright, this posting contains (self-)irony and so on, so keep that in mind, or else it will look VERY weird. Oh, and I am too tired to check up all grammatical errors I surely have spawned. Bear with me on that point   ...   I am writing ONE public reply, because I started this mess. I may reply personally to those who come up with interesting points.   I knew, when I wrote my reply to Brin's message, where I put my foot.   Another thing I know is that I am very ardent when it comes to debates.   I am not surprised that many view me in a negative light, since I practically asked for it.   But I think it was worth it.   See so many interesting thoughts that came forward, which shows that a lot is going on inside peoples' heads,   though cynical/cruel persons like ME sometimes laughs scornfully and claim the opposite.   I am overwhelmed by the debate I (or more like BRIN) caused, but I think it is good because at least it gives ME   new perspectives.   "To get to learn yourself, you will have to do it through others" as I once heard someone say.   It took me quite some time to reply to the emails that were addressed to ME, and now I discovered that the entire   mailinglist is full of thoughts and views.   I need some time to sum it all up, but I can quote some lines out of the email I wrote NArgan:   NArgan: � > While this is your personal opinion, I, as I am sure many others do not agree > with it.  Also, many people here know each other personally.  The TMNT-L, is > a family. �   Me: - Exactly. Therein, we also have a problem.   Most fan communities turn into online-families, and that is for worse for people like me, who wants to take a distanced stand from others. I don't let many people into my doings, and I see the Internet as a big forum for debates and miscellaneous information-exchange.   But name a family that accept(s) and notices strangers who don't want to join the family's plays and rules, and only want to be informative (and gain information).   This entire family-thing usually corrupts the places, and in the long run scares many people who leave, or just decide to lurk until they sign off.   We have seen it happen already.   There is a risk that there will be nothing left in the end. -   NArgan: � > While no one really knows me, I care just as much for Dawn, or > Mikey, Blue or god knows whoever else, cos I know, that even if they > didn't know me that well, they'd at least go "gee, i hope he's okay with > whatever's going on" because, we are family. �   Me: - And I think this entire "family"-thing should be taken someplace else. But if that happens, there is a fair risk that the mailinglist would become abandoned, when plenty of people keep their semi-off-topic discussions at some other list/forum.   The situation is tricky, and I have been around here long enough to see it happen. -   Now for something interesting here, regarding the friendships and all that:   _I_ feel uneasy when I expose myself too much online. This doesn't apply very well to my (real) social life, in which I am classified as an open person.   _I_ feel DISGUSTED with myself, when I have been to open online. It makes me feel SICK.   This feelings also strikes with full power if I use smileys/expressions such as hug/smiles/kisses.   Anyone who have had that experience?   And when someone runs *hugs* and things directed to me, I feel nothing.   If Dawn tells me that I am hateful (and she DID), I feel impassive.   This is a weird inhibition. I have the trouble online, but not for real.   If I would give my condolences to Dawn or Brin, I would feel screwed and false since I know I wouldn't mean it.   I could surely be your best friend by hiding all my negative emotions and do what I dislike, namely exposing myself   to a big mass that I don't even know. But I feel that it would be a violation of what I am, and I don't think it is worth it.   I bet there are others who feel somewhat the same.       Now, let me settle this little misunderstanding about 'patriotism' and USA. (I advice ONE certain person to read this).   I am not stupid, although it may appear so. I wouldn't go and say "I reckon dumb Americans oughta be shot, fatasses, they all suck!!!" like some imbecile   individual did on the Yahoo!-list.   But I like taking the opposite stand, when it doesn't exist. Of course, I am asking for it. I walk right into the cross-fire. That is what I do best, it seems.   But I want people to see the opposite side too, just as they want me to see their views. If I am to read about patriotism, I think they should hear something about the opposite. There are probably those who believe this to be totally stupid, but I will gladly stand for that it is good to dive   into the extreme to broaden the view of the brain's landscapes.   Ick, this is being too long and too off-topic, so I will try to settle it with the question:   Why am I saying all this? Am I not totally giving out my secret plot, and destroy the POINT with what I do?   Answer is: yes, I do. I could keep it silent and let you all believe that I just love to be a jackass. Then I would be able to extract more information for my egoistic purposes.   But I can also see that it doesn't work in the long run.   Most people knew what happened on the Yahoo!-list last time I played my little game, I suppose.   So, I am thinking of a better way to approach each other, as well as babbling about that people here (as well as   other places) have so many different purposes with their presences, and there ought to be better ways to   communicate properly, without raising hell.   I sure as hell is not overly good, since I feel .icky. when I become too "nice".   There is also this feeling that I have.. That triggering anger is a great way to get people to say what they REALLY   think.   If the atmosphere is too nice, it will become unbearable after a while.   Jee, I don't know what else to write right now, so I will take a pause and see what happens       HOW I'm going to regret posting this when I wake up tomorrow   /L.a.w.