Dear Paul, First of all, I'm very sorry for the late responding. I highly appreciate on your detail comments. I just uploaded the new version fixing the editorial errors you commented. You will find the new version at http://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-6lowpan-usecases/
Thanks again for the valuable review. Best Regards, Eunah On Tue, Aug 10, 2010 at 12:11 AM, Paul Chilton <[email protected]> wrote: > I think the draft is well written and contains valuable information. It > should be submitted to the IESG after the following editorial changes are > made: > > Nits > P1, L24 r/characterisitcis/characteristics > P1, L24 r/dimention/dimension > P4, L24 "...details of the each..." - remove "each" > P4, L35 r/arbitary/arbitrary > P9, L30 r/boold/blood > P10, L30 "In case that..." - replace with "In the case that..." > P10, L39 "In Mesh Under, more than one LMs are selected for multi-hop > transmission and the nodes MAY also play role in transmission multi-point > traffic (multicast) by unicast method, not only role in data collection." > Sentence is unclear > P11, L7 "The data volume is usually not so big in this case, but data is > sensitive for delay." replace with "The volume of data volume is usually not > large in this case, but is sensitive to delay." > P11, L23 "In case..." replace with "In the case..." > P11, L25 r/typle/type > P12, L25 "such as fire alarm" add "such as a fire alarm" > P12, L25 "...MUST be handled in very critical manner." replace with "...MUST > be handled in a very critical manner. " > P12, L38 "...do not move..." replace with "...are immobile..." > P13, L50 r/acheived/achieved > P15, L31 remove "...of the Grid network..." > P15, L46 "...a few dozen of nodes..." remove "of" > P16, L52 "...LBR provides connectivities to the outside of LoWPAN..." > replace with "...LBR provides connectivity to the outside world..." > P17, L37 r/LoPWAN/LoWPAN > P21, L52 r/failure/fails > Regards > Paul > > Paul Chilton > Low Power RF Solutions (formerly Jennic Ltd) > NXP Semiconductors NV > Furnival Street, Sheffield, S1 4QT, UK > Tel: +44 114 281 2655 > Fax: +44 114 281 2951 > Comp Reg No: 3191371 Registered In England > http://www.nxp.com http://www.jennic.com > ____________________________________________ > > > Carsten Bormann wrote: > > LoWPANners, > as you know, the working group chairs dropped the ball on the usecases > document. > A version with fixes resulting from the WGLC issued on 2009-01-09 was > submitted on 2009-10-02. We wanted to get some quick feedback on > whether that was fixing the issues and then never actually issued the > second working-group last call. Indeed, the Internet-Draft expired > after six months... Then the terminology of the ND draft changed. > Since the usecases draft now has been resubmitted with updated > terminology: > This is a Working-Group Last-Call for: > http://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-6lowpan-usecases-06 > The document is intended to be submitted by this Working Group to the > IESG for publication as an Informational Document. > This is a one-week Working-Group Last-Call, ending on 2010-08-09 > (Monday, August 09, 2010) at 2359 UTC. > Please review the document carefully (one last time), and send your > comments to the 6lowpan list. Please also indicate in your response > whether or not you think this document is ready to go to the IESG. > Carsten and Geoff > _______________________________________________ > 6lowpan mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/6lowpan > > > -- > > _______________________________________________ > 6lowpan mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/6lowpan > > _______________________________________________ 6lowpan mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/6lowpan
