Thank you Mohit for appreciating me as easy. This is probably the first time I have been easy to understand, so let me congratulate myself for it. I do mean it.
Coming to the question of difficulty of platonic friendships given the visual disability, let us first clarify what we mean by platonic friendship. Generally, platonic is taken to mean non-sexual as well as non-physical. However, it restrictively also means only non-sexual in nature. So, I think the later conotation is definitely possible with visual impairment. However, if we widen it to mean non-Physical, then I am afraid visual impairment is a block to it as we require audio and tactile contact in absence of visual contact. Actually, when the sighted see each other's bodily form, then I think they are also not having platonic friendship. So, primarily they mean, by platonic, nontactual friendship. So, right of touch to all those body parts which are exposed to visual gaze, forms a part of accessibility in relationships for the blind, though my take on it is not socially sanctioned. I call it "Cultural diabetes", and the chief cause for it is, me thinks, the tentalizingly vague line of distinction between tactually physical and sexual coupled with increased vulnerability of female sex to sexual exploitation. To sum up, nontactual friendship for visually impaired is surely difficult. -----Original Message----- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Mohit Shah Shah Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 7:36 PM To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Subject: Re: [AI] Being addressed as 'aap' Dear friends, Let me assure you all that I do address them as 'tu' and, hence, I expect them to do the same. Frankly speaking, I have always found it hard to make female platonic friends. Now, everyone will say that this has nothing to do with my visual impairment, and I fully respect your views. But, you know, I feel that it does have a lot to do with my problem. With my guy friends, I can jokingly ask them not to address me in a certain manner, and the problem might end there. With girls, though, it becomes very difficult to do that. I am naturally shy and awkward when I meet new people, so that doesn't help. I am very open and talkative when I am with my friends or the people I know, but this is often not the case when I meet someone for the first time. So, I have to work hard to tell them that I am not even half as saintly as they perceive me to be. Rajesh Sir, your story was really so easy to relate to. I thank you for sharing it. Ekinath, Believe me, my friend, I am nowhere close to your sincere and religious friend whom you described. So, let me ask you all one related, but different, question. Have you ever felt that your visual impairment makes it hard for you to have a purely platonic friendship with a friend of the opposite gender? If yes, then what have you done to deal with this, um, problem? And thanks for all your suggestions. I will try to be more expressive and open from next time. On 3/6/12, Ekinath Khedekar <ekin...@gmail.com> wrote: > I wish I could get hold of my earlier mail signature. It said > something about admiration and so on... something like > "I rather be loved or hated than respected as it puts a burden on me to..." > > A short real story, > > I had a close friend who was extremely cultured as people say. You > know "aap" "aap" sought. > He would diligently call his class mates and even their parents to > wish them on their birthdays. He would never where denim clothes, > would do everything opposite that any youngster would like to do. > And everywhere he went he was perceived as a saintly respected guy. > And yah, he was probably never acting. > However, once the college got over and real test of friendship came, > he realised that his birthdays wishes became a routine for everyone. > Nobody perceived him as a real close friend but an ideal, and ideals > are always distant for common people. > > Now the climax, I said I had a friend because we are unfortunately no > more on talking terms. > He would find my 10 odd years old manners as uncultured and > mannerless. He told me to changed my attitude. I never expected him to > change for me. So I told him to ---- off. > > Your presence should bring smile and cheers on people's face yar. > Respect lene dene ke liye bahut log hain. > > SO I better be loved than respected. Present your self in a way that > others should feel awkward to address you as "aap." > > Cheers > > > > > > > > > > > > > On 3/5/12, Mohit Shah Shah <mohit.shah...@gmail.com> wrote: >> Hello folks, >> >> As usual, I have a really weird and unique question. >> I have often observed that all my classmates, and even some of my >> friends, address me as 'aap' instead of 'tu', which is how they >> address each other. >> I somehow feel that this has something to do with my visual impairment. >> Perhaps, my classmates find it hard to be as open with me as they are >> with others, so they try to talk to me in a respectful manner in order >> to ensure that I don't get offended in any way. >> And I've observed that this is more applicable in the case of my >> female classmates. >> So, what can I do to make them feel at ease and treat me in a normal >> manner? >> >> Best, >> Mohit >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> > > > -- > "The waves breaking on the surface draw all the attention, > but it is the current beneath the water that determines your direction." > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. 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