Thank you Mohit for appreciating me as easy.
This is probably the first time I have been easy to understand, so let me
congratulate myself for it.
I do mean it.
Coming to the question of difficulty of platonic friendships given the
visual disability, let us first clarify what we mean by platonic
friendship.
Generally, platonic is taken to mean non-sexual as well as non-physical.
However, it restrictively also means only non-sexual in nature.
So, I think the later conotation is definitely possible with visual
impairment.
However, if we widen it to mean non-Physical, then I am afraid visual
impairment is a block to it as we require audio and tactile contact in
absence of visual contact.
Actually, when the sighted see each other's bodily form, then I think they
are also not having platonic friendship.
So, primarily they mean, by platonic, nontactual friendship.
So, right of touch to all those body parts which are exposed to visual
gaze, forms a part of accessibility in relationships for the blind,
though my take on it is not socially sanctioned.
I call it "Cultural diabetes", and the chief cause for it is, me thinks,
the tentalizingly vague line of distinction between tactually physical
and sexual coupled with increased vulnerability of female sex to sexual
exploitation.
To sum up, nontactual friendship for visually impaired is surely
difficult.
-----Original Message-----
From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in
[mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Mohit Shah
Shah
Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 7:36 PM
To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in
Subject: Re: [AI] Being addressed as 'aap'
Dear friends,
Let me assure you all that I do address them as 'tu' and, hence, I
expect them to do the same.
Frankly speaking, I have always found it hard to make female platonic
friends.
Now, everyone will say that this has nothing to do with my visual
impairment, and I fully respect your views.
But, you know, I feel that it does have a lot to do with my problem.
With my guy friends, I can jokingly ask them not to address me in a
certain manner, and the problem might end there.
With girls, though, it becomes very difficult to do that.
I am naturally shy and awkward when I meet new people, so that doesn't
help.
I am very open and talkative when I am with my friends or the people I
know, but this is often not the case when I meet someone for the first
time.
So, I have to work hard to tell them that I am not even half as
saintly as they perceive me to be.
Rajesh Sir, your story was really so easy to relate to.
I thank you for sharing it.
Ekinath,
Believe me, my friend, I am nowhere close to your sincere and
religious friend whom you described.
So, let me ask you all one related, but different, question.
Have you ever felt that your visual impairment makes it hard for you
to have a purely platonic friendship with a friend of the opposite
gender?
If yes, then what have you done to deal with this, um, problem?
And thanks for all your suggestions.
I will try to be more expressive and open from next time.
On 3/6/12, Ekinath Khedekar <ekin...@gmail.com> wrote:
I wish I could get hold of my earlier mail signature. It said
something about admiration and so on... something like
"I rather be loved or hated than respected as it puts a burden on me
to..."
A short real story,
I had a close friend who was extremely cultured as people say. You
know "aap" "aap" sought.
He would diligently call his class mates and even their parents to
wish them on their birthdays. He would never where denim clothes,
would do everything opposite that any youngster would like to do.
And everywhere he went he was perceived as a saintly respected guy.
And yah, he was probably never acting.
However, once the college got over and real test of friendship came,
he realised that his birthdays wishes became a routine for everyone.
Nobody perceived him as a real close friend but an ideal, and ideals
are always distant for common people.
Now the climax, I said I had a friend because we are unfortunately no
more on talking terms.
He would find my 10 odd years old manners as uncultured and
mannerless. He told me to changed my attitude. I never expected him to
change for me. So I told him to ---- off.
Your presence should bring smile and cheers on people's face yar.
Respect lene dene ke liye bahut log hain.
SO I better be loved than respected. Present your self in a way that
others should feel awkward to address you as "aap."
Cheers
On 3/5/12, Mohit Shah Shah <mohit.shah...@gmail.com> wrote:
Hello folks,
As usual, I have a really weird and unique question.
I have often observed that all my classmates, and even some of my
friends, address me as 'aap' instead of 'tu', which is how they
address each other.
I somehow feel that this has something to do with my visual impairment.
Perhaps, my classmates find it hard to be as open with me as they are
with others, so they try to talk to me in a respectful manner in order
to ensure that I don't get offended in any way.
And I've observed that this is more applicable in the case of my
female classmates.
So, what can I do to make them feel at ease and treat me in a normal
manner?
Best,
Mohit
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