Hi Rohan,
 
Nicely put.

regards,
jagwant
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--- On Fri, 2/7/10, ROHAN DHARESH <[email protected]> wrote:


From: ROHAN DHARESH <[email protected]>
Subject: [bm] Molestation
To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected],
 [email protected]
Cc: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], 
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], 
"Parthasarathy B" <[email protected]>
Date: Friday, 2 July, 2010, 11:55 AM






Hi Rochana,
Let me answer your points one-by-one. I have coloured them in shades of green 
and marked them in quotes.

"as per my knowledge what i feel is the women who is struggling morning to 
evening in various offices like men never demand for reservations. they are 
just doing their part to the family."

If you are referring to the lower classes, I will agree with you. But not with 
those from upper classes. I know many many women who are software engineers and 
doctors who earn in terms of lakhs per month. They spend it all on themselves 
(with exceptions)


"RESERVATIONS are only demanded by women who run organisation for women 
protection etc etc whatever may be their intrest in doing that. and the 
Politicians for their vote banks keep announcing the reservations for various 
categories."

By the way, the issue is more about prejudice against men, injustice to men and 
lack of the concept of men's rights. This is not just about reservations. It is 
also about the dichotomy and paradox in the cultural values due to which men 
are paying a heavy price. Something that women knowingly or unknowingly or with 
both have started taking advantage. 


"Please understand that reservation announced gives more benefit for 
politicians to bank votes from public."

I understand much better than you because I have read many articles about the 
fallout and reasons behind them. Good that you don't support it. 



"you are saying all ur points are from experience. thts true. men have bad 
experience from women and the vice versa as well. after reading all your points 
what i can understand is you are pointing on women but the problem is society 
which has men more in number right? if a marriage is going on then society 
wants to know where men is working and the lady if she is house wife it is 
okay. thts what you are saying ...... what can that lady do for that. that is 
the problem of the society."

To be honest, I am unmarried and never had any such bad experiences with women. 
It does not take a genius brain to understand the dichotomy in today's culture 
and values and in turn the paradox and hypocrisy in the feminist movement. I 
had seen this hypocrisy and paradox way back in my school days when I used to 
read newspaper articles about feminism or women's rights. I saw an absolute 
paradox then. I didn't need a 498A to wake me up like the way many other men 
have woken up. You cannot have a culture that places a duty upon a guy to be 
the provider and protector of the family and yet do everything to ensure that 
guys don't get to do that. Infact, it is the guys who need reservation because 
the society expects them to be the providers. 

The problem is both women and society. Not just women, but society at large. 


"what can that lady do for that. that is the problem of the society."

If you are referring to traditonal women in villages and low income families, 
it is yes. But what about indepedent women? They have all the freedom and 
choice. I know plenty of them and they all want men to provide for them even 
though they are earning well. So where does society come into the picture? They 
are independent women. 



"it is great that many women are coming out to work so that men burden for 
earning the family got reduced. if you see the past before 10 years or so there 
is very very less % of women working and contributing to men to run their 
families.


The post-industrialisation scenario has led to high cost of living and most men 
are unable to be the sole providers of the family. The feminist movement, 
together with mechanisation, has brought about greater conflict between men and 
women because women are forced into a conflicting role with men. When women 
also worked, there was more money available, and that in turn triggered greater 
inflation. So, we are caught in a never ending vicious circle. I would 
personally never accept the sexes in a conflicting role. But now that we have 
accepted Equality, why can't we stick to it? Why have a paradoxical system 
where women are getting the advantage of both systems?

Yes, if you are referring to lower income families, women are indeed 
contributing to the family. But not when it comes to upper income families. 


"will women marry a jobless men? how can u say no and never. i coated girls in 
this context bacause we are reading daily that inter or graduation students ran 
away from home and get married in a temple. do you say that the boy is well 
settled at the age and after seeing his financial status only the girl left her 
home. can u say YES for the above"

Barring some honourable exceptions, most women in India marry for money. 
Irrespective of what they do or how much they themselves earn, they want the 
guy to provide for them. This is what I personally came across and have heard 
it from other men. Regarding eloping, it is the age of the women. That age is 
like that. Love is blind at that age. But if you look at older ones, you would 
know the truth. Where is the comparison?


"now coming to women generally matured women who are well educated and working 
get married to thier collegue if it is a love marriage and if it is arranged 
marriage then tell me how many parents want to get their daughters to be 
married to a jobless men. Leave the mother decision as per my knowledge in many 
families i have seen father is the main person who decides the daughters 
marriage to whom to be selected. do you want to tell me that father of a 
daughter who is also a men will be ready to give his daughter's hand to a 
jobless men. or do you want the women to demand his father to get her married 
to a jobless men."

Those women who are working and indepedent don't need their parents approval. 
Its absurd. When teenage girls can run away for love, why can't mature women do 
it if they really love? Why can't independent women who are increasing in 
number do it? The law does not stop it; nor does the society.


"sorry if my previous letter hurt you in any point. nuthan is wrong in some 
context and i too agree with you. not only  women but men also if they do wrong 
i will be against wrong things whether men or women. try to think the positive 
way. i can understand  very bad experiences makes men to talk the way you are 
pointing out on women."

You and Nuthan are only reflecting the paradoxical values in society. No single 
person can be blamed for this. 

Good that you stand for fairness, irrespective of the gender.

I repeat. I never had any such bad experiences with women. I never needed to 
because I am intelligent and sensitive enough to understand the paradoxical 
culture that we are into and the feminist hypocricy and dichotomy. It does not 
need a genius brain nor does it need one to study rocket science.


"even i accept you if u insert society instead of women at some points made by 
you."

It is both society and women. Society, because it is following paradoxical 
values. Women, because knowingly or unknowingly, or with both, they are taking 
advantage of this paradox and confusion. I believe that if we remove these 
paradoxes, the gender war would reduce. 

I would blame the men, who as part of the society have been folliwing its 
stupid paradoxes and supporting opposites. 

Regards,
Rohan
























--- On Wed, 30/6/10, Rochana Devi Raavi <[email protected]> wrote:


From: Rochana Devi Raavi <[email protected]>
Subject: 08 - Re: Fw: Re: [bm] Molestation
To: "ROHAN DHARESH" <[email protected]>
Date: Wednesday, 30 June, 2010, 6:16 PM



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