Hi Rohan, I have gone through your email and extracted a part of it : "I understand much better than you because I have read many articles about the fallout and reasons behind them. Good that you don't support it." It is very condescending on your part to say so. Kindly temper your response with a dose of moderation, and I mean no offence. Thank you.
Hi Rochana, Let me answer your points one-by-one. I have coloured them in shades of green and marked them in quotes. "as per my knowledge what i feel is the women who is struggling morning to evening in various offices like men never demand for reservations. they are just doing their part to the family." If you are referring to the lower classes, I will agree with you. But not with those from upper classes. I know many many women who are software engineers and doctors who earn in terms of lakhs per month. They spend it all on themselves (with exceptions) "RESERVATIONS are only demanded by women who run organisation for women protection etc etc whatever may be their intrest in doing that. and the Politicians for their vote banks keep announcing the reservations for various categories." By the way, the issue is more about prejudice against men, injustice to men and lack of the concept of men's rights. This is not just about reservations. It is also about the dichotomy and paradox in the cultural values due to which men are paying a heavy price. Something that women knowingly or unknowingly or with both have started taking advantage. "Please understand that reservation announced gives more benefit for politicians to bank votes from public." I understand much better than you because I have read many articles about the fallout and reasons behind them. Good that you don't support it. "you are saying all ur points are from experience. thts true. men have bad experience from women and the vice versa as well. after reading all your points what i can understand is you are pointing on women but the problem is society which has men more in number right? if a marriage is going on then society wants to know where men is working and the lady if she is house wife it is okay. thts what you are saying ...... what can that lady do for that. that is the problem of the society." To be honest, I am unmarried and never had any such bad experiences with women. It does not take a genius brain to understand the dichotomy in today's culture and values and in turn the paradox and hypocrisy in the feminist movement. I had seen this hypocrisy and paradox way back in my school days when I used to read newspaper articles about feminism or women's rights. I saw an absolute paradox then. I didn't need a 498A to wake me up like the way many other men have woken up. You cannot have a culture that places a duty upon a guy to be the provider and protector of the family and yet do everything to ensure that guys don't get to do that. Infact, it is the guys who need reservation because the society expects them to be the providers. The problem is both women and society. Not just women, but society at large. "what can that lady do for that. that is the problem of the society." If you are referring to traditonal women in villages and low income families, it is yes. But what about indepedent women? They have all the freedom and choice. I know plenty of them and they all want men to provide for them even though they are earning well. So where does society come into the picture? They are independent women. "it is great that many women are coming out to work so that men burden for earning the family got reduced. if you see the past before 10 years or so there is very very less % of women working and contributing to men to run their families. The post-industrialisation scenario has led to high cost of living and most men are unable to be the sole providers of the family. The feminist movement, together with mechanisation, has brought about greater conflict between men and women because women are forced into a conflicting role with men. When women also worked, there was more money available, and that in turn triggered greater inflation. So, we are caught in a never ending vicious circle. I would personally never accept the sexes in a conflicting role. But now that we have accepted Equality, why can't we stick to it? Why have a paradoxical system where women are getting the advantage of both systems? Yes, if you are referring to lower income families, women are indeed contributing to the family. But not when it comes to upper income families. "will women marry a jobless men? how can u say no and never. i coated girls in this context bacause we are reading daily that inter or graduation students ran away from home and get married in a temple. do you say that the boy is well settled at the age and after seeing his financial status only the girl left her home. can u say YES for the above" Barring some honourable exceptions, most women in India marry for money. Irrespective of what they do or how much they themselves earn, they want the guy to provide for them. This is what I personally came across and have heard it from other men. Regarding eloping, it is the age of the women. That age is like that. Love is blind at that age. But if you look at older ones, you would know the truth. Where is the comparison? "now coming to women generally matured women who are well educated and working get married to thier collegue if it is a love marriage and if it is arranged marriage then tell me how many parents want to get their daughters to be married to a jobless men. Leave the mother decision as per my knowledge in many families i have seen father is the main person who decides the daughters marriage to whom to be selected. do you want to tell me that father of a daughter who is also a men will be ready to give his daughter's hand to a jobless men. or do you want the women to demand his father to get her married to a jobless men." Those women who are working and indepedent don't need their parents approval. Its absurd. When teenage girls can run away for love, why can't mature women do it if they really love? Why can't independent women who are increasing in number do it? The law does not stop it; nor does the society. "sorry if my previous letter hurt you in any point. nuthan is wrong in some context and i too agree with you. not only women but men also if they do wrong i will be against wrong things whether men or women. try to think the positive way. i can understand very bad experiences makes men to talk the way you are pointing out on women." You and Nuthan are only reflecting the paradoxical values in society. No single person can be blamed for this. Good that you stand for fairness, irrespective of the gender. I repeat. I never had any such bad experiences with women. I never needed to because I am intelligent and sensitive enough to understand the paradoxical culture that we are into and the feminist hypocricy and dichotomy. It does not need a genius brain nor does it need one to study rocket science. "even i accept you if u insert society instead of women at some points made by you." It is both society and women. Society, because it is following paradoxical values. Women, because knowingly or unknowingly, or with both, they are taking advantage of this paradox and confusion. I believe that if we remove these paradoxes, the gender war would reduce. I would blame the men, who as part of the society have been folliwing its stupid paradoxes and supporting opposites. Regards, Rohan --- On Wed, 30/6/10, Rochana Devi Raavi <[email protected]> wrote: From: Rochana Devi Raavi <[email protected]> Subject: 08 - Re: Fw: Re: [bm] Molestation To: "ROHAN DHARESH" <[email protected]> Date: Wednesday, 30 June, 2010, 6:16 PM Block reason: This message is above your Auto Block threshold | Approve sender | Approve domain |
