This is something that keeps me awake at night... My ex-wife is a fruit-loop who has no concept of responsibility at any level, and can't cope with the children for more than an overnight visit every few months. My second wife, despite having been thrown in the deep end with no preparation and all the challenges that step-parents face, is a wonderful mother who would do (and does) anything and everything for the children.
My custody of the children is just a casual agreement between us, there is no court order.
If something happenned to me, the default position of the authorities would be to return the children to their natural mother, and her family would want that to happen (my family would not!). I have a clause in my will that basically begs the authorities to leave the children with their step mother, which they may take note of, but that is as much as I can do. Obviously, as the children get older the risk is less and less, but when they were 6 it was a real concern about which I had no control. (they're 10 & 13 now).
Cheers Russell C.
I am 100% not trying to say anything bad. I am only pointing this out because I know two people who went through this, separate cases. You say, the custody of the children is just a casual agreement; then say you put a statement in your will, that is as much as you can do. Aren't those two conflicting statements?
Now please, even in America I do not know what the rights of a step parent are, but I'm assuming if you did have more that a casual agreement, and then something happened to you, your now wife would get much more consideration.
Again, not trying to offend. There are a million reasons that things are they way they are, and would continue. But I just want others to always think realistically about the future. Not saying you don't! Realistically is a bad word, but can't think how to edit it. It's time for bed.
This isn't the same thing, but last year there was an organized group charity ride. About two miles from the end, one of the riders went down on a bridge. He broke his arm, but at first he was out cold. No one knew who he was, he had no info on him. They were able to use his rider number to call the ride sponsors, find out who he was, but he was already on the way to the hospital before they knew his name, who to contact. Luckily he had no medical problems, not like they would give penicillin for a broken arm and concussion, but it shows how important it is to think about the future.
Kevin T. - VRWC As the soapbox is yanked from underneath me
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