I really liked what George had to say. -Ron Blechner
On Tue, Jan 22, 2013 at 12:15 PM, George Mercer <geopmer...@gmail.com> wrote: > I'm now 69. If I ever was in it, I passed the hot dancer phase long ago, > At the most of dances I usually attend, I go out of my way to dance with > newcomers, inexperienced dancers and those who always seem left out--at > least part of the night. After a few go rounds though, I tend to avoid > those dancers who just make it work to dance with them and that includes > some very experienced (including some folks who have been new dancers for > 15 years) and some pretty good dancers who are just annoying. I often > dance with young people, at least in part because I want them to become > regulars--if they don't become regulars pretty soon everyone at the dance > begins to look like me--nobody wants that. Also because if they dance with > a patient, non-showoff, experienced dancer they tend to develop good dance > habits--and most dancers do want that. The one dance where I only > occasionally dance with newcomers is at Glen Echo. I figure I drive 2 > hours or more to get there and 2 or more to get home, I'm going to optimize > my dance experience. I also believe there are enough regular dancers there > who should be making the effort to make newcomers feel at home. > Interestingly, I've still danced with enough new dancers there that they > seek me out as a partner. I understand that absolutely no one is obligated > to dance with me--ever (something I explain very carefully to new, young > dancers), nor is there any obligation to explain or make excuses. Still, > we should all try to not be rude. After a while, I just kind of give up. > They've made it clear that they prefer other dancers. I can deal with > that. And to be honest, if I'm wasting my time asking dancers who have > other preferences, I'm missing dancers who would be more than happy to > dance with me. On two separate occasions I decided I was wasting my time > asking already booked dancers and they later came to me and asked me why I > stopped asking. I explained that by taking time getting turned down by her > I was missing getting on the floor altogether and I'd rather dance than > watch. One of those women now occasionally asks me to dance. The other > ignores me as if was wearing a vanishing cloak. There are no absolute > answers, other than to encourage people to be kind, thoughtful, courteous, > understanding and careful. Kind of like life itself. Thanks,George > > >
