I don't know if this is where I heard this or not....
---
A guy calls a law office and says: "I want to talk to my lawyer." 

The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but he died last week."

The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist
replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."

The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this
time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, "I keep telling
you, your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"

The guy says, "Because I just love hearing it."
---
Or this one.... *** nasty rating - 10 + ***
---

A man and a woman are seated beside one another at a bar getting rather
tipsy. With both visibly depressed, the man asks the woman why she's so down
to which she replies, "My husband left me because he said I was too kinky in
bed." 
"What a coincidence!" he said, "My wife just left me. She said I was too
kinky in bed, too." 

So they start talking and find that they have much in common, so they decide
to go to the woman's apartment and have their kinky s__. When they arrive at
her apartment, she tells him she needs a few minutes so she can slip into
something more comfortable. 

Moments later, she emerges from the bathroom with a tight black leather
outfit, complete with whip, handcuffs, a strap-on, and a 12-inch studded
d_ld_. She then hurries into the kitchen, and returns with Tabasco sauce,
whipped cream, and a rolling pin. Just as she completes her preparation, she
notices that the man is putting on his coat and is headed towards the door. 

"What's going on?" she asks. "I thought you wanted to get kinky?" 

The man turns to her and says, "Lady, I just f____ your dog and s___ in your
purse. I'm all done." 

-----Original Message-----
From: Brockman, Chuck [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Friday, March 01, 2002 10:43 AM
To: CF-Community
Subject: Friday Humor


Louis Abbott wrote:

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her
husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet
with the little boy. The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover
are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks
the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's
go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your
friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again"


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