I just *know* I'm gonna get flack for this, but I just can't resist. It's like giving a lifelong vaudeville comedian a straight line and expecting him not to respond with a joke.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, scienceofabundance <no_re...@...> wrote: > > Subject: Mother Divine Emerita and Divine Devi of the > Global Country or World Peace Why is it that this announcement feels so appropriate coming right on the heels of "women are only good for tempting men to leave the spiritual path" JohnR talking about beauty contests? :-) > Following consultation with the ladies of Maharishi's > Mother Divine Program and the 21 Rajinis of Maharishi's > worldwide movement, His Majesty Maharaja Adhi Raj Raja > Raam has announced the creation of two new groups of > ideal ladies to create enlightenment for all the world. First wonderful buzzphrase -- "ideal ladies." Call me sick, but I'm picturing a Barbie with no genitals dressed in a sari, walking several paces behind a Ken doll dressed in a white robe and wearing a crown. > In a Royal Proclamation to prepare for the celebration > of Vaisakhi Purnima of the Vedic Calendar... This celebration will hopefully provide a bit of a break for the hard-working Rajas and Rajinis and Mothers Divine (more on this buzzphrase later), in between telling heads of school systems that TM is not a religion. > ...His Majesty has proclaimed Vaisakhi Purnima as the > auspicious day of inauguration of Mother Divine Emerita > (MDE) and Divine Devi of the Global Country of World > Peace (DD-GCWP). Why do I suddenly have a vision of Sister Aloysious from "Doubt?" And why does the phrase "Old Nun's Club" suddenly spring to mind? > In a worldwide satellite conference celebration, amid > cheers, applause, and the sounds of conches and ringing > bells... The mind boggles at the things that Old Nuns consider a "celebration." > ...His Majesty announced: "It is a great joy to invite > current ladies of Mother Divine to join Mother Divine > Emerita and continue to sanctify the world with their > blessing. This invitation will be of particular interest > to our dear Mothers Divine... "Mothers Divine?" Well, I guess it's better than "Mother Divines." Can't be implying that there could be more than one "Divine," can we? :-) > ...who have blessed the world for at least 15 years or > who are 35 years of age or older." It IS an Old Nun's Club. I'm surprised there is not a "dryness test" as well as a "length of time test" as a criterion for membership. > His Majesty explained that it was always Maharishi's > wish that the ladies of Maharishi's Mother Divine would > be granted the title of "Mother Divine Emerita"... Hold on here just a moment. "Granted?" Doesn't that sorta imply that these "ladies" are second-class citizens who can only be "granted" things by their betters, the men? And isn't "granting" these "ladies" a more lofty title while keeping them far, far away from the real reins of power in the TMO a lot like "granting" your secretary the title of "administrative assistant" while keeping her a secretary, and at the same salary? > ...as a celebration of gratitude to their continuous > blessings on our worldwide movement and creating > Heaven on Earth. I'm curious as to how these "blessings" occur. Is it the mechanism of not having sex that confers the blessings, or some other mechanism? Curious minds want to know. > More details of this beautiful program will be announced > shortly. As soon as the men think them up and impose them on the "ladies." > In the meantime, all of our dear Mother Divine ladies > interested should please contact the Mother Divine > Emerita office at ap...@... And we'll send you a printed-in-gold certificate that you can hang in your cube saying that you are now an administrative assistant, no longer a secretary. Get me another coffee, will you honey? > His Majesty also announced the creation of a beautiful > new program, Divine Devi of the Global Country of World > Peace, created especially for ladies everywhere who are > seeking true enlightenment but who also wish to join > His Majesty and Their Excellencies, The 40 Rajas of our > Worldwide Movement, in perpetuating the administration > of Maharishi's Worldwide Movement and creating the > enlightened leaders of tomorrow for our beloved > Maharishi's Worldwide Movement. Hmmmm. This sounds like a recruitment speech in high schools for "Virgins For Jesus" to me. > According to His Majesty... And you should believe him because he has a title, just like you'll have if you join our new Virgins For Vishnu Club... > ...the goal of Divine Devi of the Global Country of World > Peace is to create a Royal Family of the Global Country > of World Peace to ensure enlightenment administration of > the world for all mankind for all generations. And to avoid becoming actual mothers by avoiding having sex. > More details of this beautiful program will be announced > shortly. Please distribute this Royal Proclamation to > all ladies. Given the nature of this program, this program > is limited to ladies between 18 and 22 years of age. Ladies between 18 and 22 whose aspiration in life is to someday be "granted" member- ship in the Old Nun's Club by men. > In special cases, ladies as young as 15 years of age will > be considered depending on their country of residence at > the time of application. Hell, Virgins For Vishnu will take you if you're 12 as long as you swear off sex and promise to walk at least three paces behind the Rajas at all times. > All interested ladies should know that their local Rajas > are very, very excited about this program... Excited in a Good Way, that is...not that Bad Way that we're trying to save you from. > ...and are immediately available to personally answer > all questions related to this beautiful program. Possibly after hours, somewhere the Rajinis can't interrupt us. We promise not to ask you any embarrassing questions about gay marriage. :-) > If it is not immediately possible to speak with their > local Raja, ladies are requested to contact the Divine > Devi of the Global Country of World Peace office by > email at urg...@... In other words, if they can't find a MAN to talk to them about becoming a member of the Virgins For Vishnu Club, they can settle for the next best thing, talking to a member of the Old Nun's Club. All I can say is, if this is the future that the men of the TM movement envision for women when "Heaven On Earth" dawns, I sure pity the women. Ooops. Ladies.
