--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, TurquoiseB <no_re...@...> wrote:
>
> I just *know* I'm gonna get flack for this,
> but I just can't resist. It's like giving a
> lifelong vaudeville comedian a straight line
> and expecting him not to respond with a joke.
>
> --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, scienceofabundance <no_reply@> wrote:
> >
> > Subject: Mother Divine Emerita and Divine Devi of the
> > Global Country or World Peace
>
> Why is it that this announcement feels so
> appropriate coming right on the heels of
> "women are only good for tempting men to
> leave the spiritual path" JohnR talking
> about beauty contests? :-)
>
> > Following consultation with the ladies of Maharishi's
> > Mother Divine Program and the 21 Rajinis of Maharishi's
> > worldwide movement, His Majesty Maharaja Adhi Raj Raja
> > Raam has announced the creation of two new groups of
> > ideal ladies to create enlightenment for all the world.
>
> First wonderful buzzphrase -- "ideal ladies."
>
> Call me sick, but I'm picturing a Barbie
> with no genitals dressed in a sari, walking
> several paces behind a Ken doll dressed in
> a white robe and wearing a crown.
>
> > In a Royal Proclamation to prepare for the celebration
> > of Vaisakhi Purnima of the Vedic Calendar...
>
> This celebration will hopefully provide a
> bit of a break for the hard-working Rajas
> and Rajinis and Mothers Divine (more on this
> buzzphrase later), in between telling heads
> of school systems that TM is not a religion.
>
> > ...His Majesty has proclaimed Vaisakhi Purnima as the
> > auspicious day of inauguration of Mother Divine Emerita
> > (MDE) and Divine Devi of the Global Country of World
> > Peace (DD-GCWP).
>
> Why do I suddenly have a vision of Sister
> Aloysious from "Doubt?" And why does the
> phrase "Old Nun's Club" suddenly spring to
> mind?
>
> > In a worldwide satellite conference celebration, amid
> > cheers, applause, and the sounds of conches and ringing
> > bells...
>
> The mind boggles at the things that Old Nuns
> consider a "celebration."
>
> > ...His Majesty announced: "It is a great joy to invite
> > current ladies of Mother Divine to join Mother Divine
> > Emerita and continue to sanctify the world with their
> > blessing. This invitation will be of particular interest
> > to our dear Mothers Divine...
>
> "Mothers Divine?" Well, I guess it's better
> than "Mother Divines." Can't be implying that
> there could be more than one "Divine," can we? :-)
>
> > ...who have blessed the world for at least 15 years or
> > who are 35 years of age or older."
>
> It IS an Old Nun's Club.
>
> I'm surprised there is not a "dryness test"
> as well as a "length of time test" as a
> criterion for membership.
>
> > His Majesty explained that it was always Maharishi's
> > wish that the ladies of Maharishi's Mother Divine would
> > be granted the title of "Mother Divine Emerita"...
>
> Hold on here just a moment. "Granted?"
>
> Doesn't that sorta imply that these "ladies"
> are second-class citizens who can only be
> "granted" things by their betters, the men?
>
> And isn't "granting" these "ladies" a more
> lofty title while keeping them far, far away
> from the real reins of power in the TMO a lot
> like "granting" your secretary the title of
> "administrative assistant" while keeping her
> a secretary, and at the same salary?
>
> > ...as a celebration of gratitude to their continuous
> > blessings on our worldwide movement and creating
> > Heaven on Earth.
>
> I'm curious as to how these "blessings" occur.
> Is it the mechanism of not having sex that confers
> the blessings, or some other mechanism? Curious
> minds want to know.
>
> > More details of this beautiful program will be announced
> > shortly.
>
> As soon as the men think them up and impose
> them on the "ladies."
>
> > In the meantime, all of our dear Mother Divine ladies
> > interested should please contact the Mother Divine
> > Emerita office at apply@
>
> And we'll send you a printed-in-gold certificate
> that you can hang in your cube saying that you
> are now an administrative assistant, no longer
> a secretary. Get me another coffee, will you
> honey?
>
> > His Majesty also announced the creation of a beautiful
> > new program, Divine Devi of the Global Country of World
> > Peace, created especially for ladies everywhere who are
> > seeking true enlightenment but who also wish to join
> > His Majesty and Their Excellencies, The 40 Rajas of our
> > Worldwide Movement, in perpetuating the administration
> > of Maharishi's Worldwide Movement and creating the
> > enlightened leaders of tomorrow for our beloved
> > Maharishi's Worldwide Movement.
>
> Hmmmm. This sounds like a recruitment speech
> in high schools for "Virgins For Jesus" to me.
>
> > According to His Majesty...
>
> And you should believe him because he has a title,
> just like you'll have if you join our new Virgins
> For Vishnu Club...
>
> > ...the goal of Divine Devi of the Global Country of World
> > Peace is to create a Royal Family of the Global Country
> > of World Peace to ensure enlightenment administration of
> > the world for all mankind for all generations.
>
> And to avoid becoming actual mothers by avoiding
> having sex.
>
> > More details of this beautiful program will be announced
> > shortly. Please distribute this Royal Proclamation to
> > all ladies. Given the nature of this program, this program
> > is limited to ladies between 18 and 22 years of age.
>
> Ladies between 18 and 22 whose aspiration
> in life is to someday be "granted" member-
> ship in the Old Nun's Club by men.
>
> > In special cases, ladies as young as 15 years of age will
> > be considered depending on their country of residence at
> > the time of application.
>
> Hell, Virgins For Vishnu will take you if
> you're 12 as long as you swear off sex and
> promise to walk at least three paces behind
> the Rajas at all times.
>
> > All interested ladies should know that their local Rajas
> > are very, very excited about this program...
>
> Excited in a Good Way, that is...not that
> Bad Way that we're trying to save you from.
>
> > ...and are immediately available to personally answer
> > all questions related to this beautiful program.
>
> Possibly after hours, somewhere the Rajinis
> can't interrupt us. We promise not to ask you
> any embarrassing questions about gay marriage. :-)
>
> > If it is not immediately possible to speak with their
> > local Raja, ladies are requested to contact the Divine
> > Devi of the Global Country of World Peace office by
> > email at urgent@
>
> In other words, if they can't find a MAN to
> talk to them about becoming a member of the
> Virgins For Vishnu Club, they can settle for
> the next best thing, talking to a member of
> the Old Nun's Club.
>
> All I can say is, if this is the future that
> the men of the TM movement envision for women
> when "Heaven On Earth" dawns, I sure pity the
> women. Ooops. Ladies.
>
Post of the week Barry....bravo.
When I was in Australia a few months ago I heard a memorable expression (the
Aussies are full of 'em)...it was a hot day and one our Aussie companions said
"I'm as dry as an old nun's nasty". He must have known a few "ideal ladies" in
his day.
