It ain't bad for taking the edge off when yas over do the ibogaine. Trouble is the oxytocin wears off in about 3 minutes and then those big hairy muli-colored bats and reptiles are flying around the room again.
Go figure. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" <curtisdeltablues@...> wrote: > > Much appreciated Susan. > > Lemme know if you have a good source for that oxytocin. Sounds like > something fun to heat up on a piece of tinfoil and inhale through a straw! > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Susan" <wayback71@> wrote: > > > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" > > <curtisdeltablues@> wrote: > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, awoelflebater <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > > > > > Curtis you wrote: > > > > "When I was actually under a cyber > > > > attack here by a member some people supported me and I appreciated > > > > that. But I > > > > would never expect it, even from my online "friends". I can handle my > > > > business > > > > here and everyone can handle theirs. So I don't have the kind of > > > > expectation > > > > here I would in my personal life offline." > > > > > > > > You also state: > > > > "We don't owe each other support or approval or any of the things we > > > > might value offline." > > > > > > > > Well, that is interesting for me to hear this viewpoint from you. I > > > > have considered it and I find that I live in a very different way. My > > > > rules for engagement, my definition of friends, my values of civility > > > > and interaction are not determined by the medium I am using , the > > > > location or the geographical situation I am in. I could be on Mars or > > > > in my kitchen, the way I conduct my life and how I view the world is > > > > not determined by the circumstances in which I find myself - i.e. > > > > whether I am typing to you online or speaking to you face to face I > > > > will treat you the same and expect you to do the same with me. I don't > > > > mean that you would treat me with respect if I treat you with respect I > > > > mean that you do not morph into someone other than who you are when you > > > > are not face to face with me. > > > > > > I don't think we really are in as much disagreement in this as that quote > > > seems to be saying. If I re-wrote that I would drop the ominous sounding > > > "or any other things we might value offline". That does make me sound > > > kinda psycho! Continuing in psycho mode for a moment: There is no form > > > of human decency that I recognize online and no matter how vile or how > > > disgusting or what an affront it is to decency. I support all evil here > > > as a avatar would in the darkest regions of Second City slums, where > > > human depravity can know no bounds! > > > > > > Ok, got that out of my system, I'm back now... > > > > > > I treat people pretty much the same in my correspondence here as I do in > > > person. I do post as myself here, everyone knows where to find me if > > > they want to. I guess I mean only in the area of scolding people who are > > > being unfriendly to each other. In person I would have a lower > > > threshold, online it is higher. I figure people here speak up for > > > themselves as do I. I should probably keep the discussion about Robin > > > who I judged didn't need my help rather than make pronouncements that > > > make me sound like an idiot. I guess I am assuming that you have read > > > enough posts of mine to know I don't act that way or maybe you have read > > > enough to decide that I do! Scary thought. > > > > > > > > > > > I know the internet is a great hiding place for some people and that > > > > they can change their persona in a multitude of ways.> > > > > > > I don't behave that way here. But I still pick my battles. I felt Robin > > > was handling himself just fine without me jumping it to "help" him. > > > > > > < But I don't think it is an excuse to abandon the ethics, the standards > > > that they hold highly when they are not on the internet.> > > > > > > Sure. No argument there. > > > > > > > > > < Why is FFL or any other online forum a place where we no longer "...owe > > > each other support and approval." ?? This double standard is just not me > > > and I don't understand that kind of reasoning. This seems to me that FFL > > > is/could be a forum for one to act really badly if one wanted to because, > > > after all, one is not really like that in "real life" (offline).> > > > > > > Practically speaking you can't chase after everyone who expresses > > > themselves in a different way than you would choose here. You just > > > can't, there is too much interaction. Right now most posters are being > > > really civil so all this is easy. When we had a poster who flung > > > obscenities at people in most posts it was harder. > > > > > > As an example, I like how you post here, and enjoy your contributions. > > > But if you got into a pissing match with someone I would figure you can > > > give as good as you get. So I am not laying down a rule for myself. But > > > Robin's expectation that I be concerned with people here who expressed > > > that they didn't like him wasn't gunna fly for me. He didn't have to > > > interact with Barry at all, it was his choice. Once he made it, against > > > my advice, he was on his own. So you are right in challenging my words > > > as some kind of rule. But it doesn't come out that way in practice. And > > > if you stick around you will see people using the term ethics in a > > > contrived way to put people down. I mean no one jumps into everyone > > > else's fights here, so you can always challenge someone's choices based > > > on the sin of omission. What you think they SHOULD have done. > > > > > > > > > > > You indicate that the newbies don't quite "get it", that the laws of > > > > good behavior and ethics and just plain life all of a sudden become > > > > obsolete when you hit the world of the internet.> > > > > > > That is not what I said or meant. It is just that lots of people blow > > > through here and few stay. One of my observations is that some people > > > have trouble adjusting to the odd combination of intimate conversation > > > and this disembodied context. When I first started posting I was much > > > more reactive emotionally. Now I am better able to let things go. I'm > > > glad I was able to let some of Robin's challenges go. I consider it a > > > sign of me making better choices here. > > > > > > < That there are rules and laws and, gee you greenhorns, get with the > > > program here because you'll go out like a comet or get eaten alive if you > > > don't. > > > > > > > That isn't what I said or what I meant. > > > > > > > > > > > You asked me if I enjoy posting at FFL. Yes I do, very much, but not > > > > because I see it as a chance to indulge myself in behavior that is not > > > > true to who I am, or who I am working hard to be in every other moment > > > > of my life. > > > > > > I can't think of any behavior I have indulged in that is not true to who > > > I am so I don't know how it relates. I understand that what I said can > > > be interpreted to mean these things, but it was not my intention and I > > > take responsibility for being clear. Lets say you really ran with this > > > ball and used it as a way to castigate me for promoting a phoney persona > > > so I could abuse people here. Lets say you really got worked up about > > > this POV and called me all sorts of names and told me you hate people who > > > try to pull that shit online and really invested yourself in this view of > > > me. > > > > > > Inside I would feel wronged because I don't act in an unethical way here. > > > That isn't what I meant at all. But I wouldn't expect a bunch of people > > > to jump in to address it. They might, both pro and con. But I don't > > > believe that anyone is obligated to correct what would be a misconception > > > about me. And lets take it one step farther. Let's say I answered you to > > > the best of my ability as I have here and you responded that it was all > > > bullshit and that you knew that I was really just a bad guy using the > > > cover of the internet to do bad things to people here. I might try again > > > to be understood, but if you came back and doubled down on your > > > unflattering opinion of me I would let it drop. I might not respond to > > > the next post directed at me. I might say, that is her opinion and I > > > obviously am not going to change it. Other people piling on would > > > probably not change it for you either if I can't myself. > > > > > > So that is the context I mean about our personal responsibility here. We > > > all have to choose for ourselves who we are going to interact with here. > > > And we all decide what discussions we want to jump in on. But > > > personally,I don't expect people to. And if you do, that is perfectly > > > fine too. You'll find people who agree with you here. > > > > > > > > > > > I am not judging you Curtis, I am giving you my viewpoint. > > > > > > > > > I appreciate an opportunity to clarify what I meant. And I still may not > > > have succeeded. But you are welcome to judge me here by the words I > > > write. It is really all you have to judge me by isn't it? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I agree that Curtis does not need defending, but I am going to add just a > > few words here, just to put in my 2 cents of this particular issue. First, > > I think Curtis has very clear "boundaries" that he lives by. By this I mean > > he has a healthy awareness of what is other people's stuff and what is his, > > and he won't interfere or trespass on the stuff that other people can and > > should deal with on their own. His posts reflect this. It is not a matter > > of not standing up for a friend - in the classic sense of that expectation > > I bet he would help a friend who needs defending. But he is allowing > > others to take care of themselves and assumes that they can. > > > > Second, there was a series of posts here by a person who is now longer > > allowed to post. This person threatened Curtis multiple times, and still > > Curtis asked that others not intervene or defend him. Partly I think this > > was to protect others from possibly getting themselves on the bad side of > > this poster. Partly he knew could handle it himself. > > > > Third, I think men are different than women in these areas. Women very > > easily and effortlessly support and empathize and help and connect. All > > that oxytocin in the hormone mix makes it automatic. I know there are many > > times that I have to step back and consciously not give advice and just > > listen and let people handle things themselves. It is a fine line.......... > > >
