turq and FFL parents, teachers, elders: how do we help ourselves and others grow without shaming? How do we help ourselves and others drop harmful behavior while nurturing healthy self esteem?How do we tell ourselves and others that a behavior is unacceptable but the person is accepted?
It's difficult because we've all been shamed and thus we've all become shamers. FFL parents, but also others, I would really like to know how you have dealt with this dilemma. IMLE (in my limited experience) shaming gives rise to counter shaming and worse: more harmful behavior. And I'm not saying that we should treat child molesters, serial killers, etc. only by building their self esteem! Obviously such people need to be quarantined until they are healthy. I don't know all the answers for dealing with such extreme cases, but I'm pretty sure that no destructive or harmful behavior is going to stop if the person is continually subjected to shaming. Whether it be the obvious shaming of moralistic approaches or the less obvious but more insidious, IMHO, shaming that ridicules a person for their enjoyments, enthusiasms and sexuality, shaming is an attempt to control and or harm someone's life force and spiritual energy. ________________________________ From: turquoiseb <no_re...@yahoogroups.com> To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Friday, July 26, 2013 4:22 AM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Jr. High "Mean Girl" cliques, and why guys join them if a few of these...could grow the fuck up, and start acting more like adults.
