Share, Share - I once recommended a book called something like "Healing Family Shame" (I can't even remember it was so long ago) to someone who asked the same questions you do below and they said..."you are shaming me." Isn't that funny? Did I hit a nerve? You are the one that said on this forum, if I recollect correctly, that you had issues with food - addiction to the health food and wellness industry often covers for more serious ailments of the personality, etc. Anyhow, I'm not diagnosing you - that's your job.
________________________________ From: Share Long <sharelon...@yahoo.com> To: "FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com" <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com> Sent: Friday, July 26, 2013 12:00 PM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Jr. High "Mean Girl" cliques, and why guys join them Emily, once again it seems you haven't read my post. My first ques: how do we help ourselves and others grow without shaming. And I disagree: I think we can help others even before we ourselves are completely healed. I also disagree with you when you say that I haven't shown a difference in behavior. I think I have done just that with several here on FFL. I've never had bulimia or anorexia so don't think of myself as having had an eating disorder. Finally, I'm sure that most of us have some lack of self love. ________________________________ From: emilymae.reyn <emilymae.r...@yahoo.com> To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Friday, July 26, 2013 1:52 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Jr. High "Mean Girl" cliques, and why guys join them Share, from the Huffington Post. You may like this - remember that eating disorders are inherently about self-hate, so if you ever had one and didn't deal with it, it and all the attendant emotions are there with you also, buried. As always, check yourself and your own behavior and clean up your side of the street - it's unlikely you are qualified or capable of "helping" others - that term means nothing - particularly in that you have zero credibility with those that know you haven't cleaned up your side of the street or haven't shown a difference in behavior. (and don't assume I'm talking about your behavior here with me - I'm not that invested in it, I assure you). Talk is cheap. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/walter-e-jacobson-md/selfloathing-love-forgiveness_b_887515.html --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Share Long wrote: > > turq and FFL parents, teachers, elders: how do we help ourselves and others > grow without shaming? How do we help ourselves and others drop harmful > behavior while nurturing healthy self esteem?How do we tell ourselves and > others that a behavior is unacceptable but the person is accepted? > > It's difficult because we've all been shamed and thus we've all become > shamers. > > > FFL parents, but also others, I would really like to know how you have dealt > with this dilemma. > > IMLE (in my limited experience) shaming gives rise to counter shaming and > worse: more harmful behavior. > > > And I'm not saying that we should treat child molesters, serial killers, etc. > only by building their self esteem! Obviously such people need to be > quarantined until they are healthy. I don't know all the answers for dealing > with such extreme cases, but I'm pretty sure that no destructive or harmful > behavior is going to stop if the person is continually subjected to shaming. > > > Whether it be the obvious shaming of moralistic approaches or the less > obvious but more insidious, IMHO, shaming that ridicules a person for their > enjoyments, enthusiasms and sexuality, shaming is an attempt to control and > or harm someone's life force and spiritual energy. > > > Â > > > > ________________________________ > From: turquoiseb no_re...@yahoogroups.com > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > Sent: Friday, July 26, 2013 4:22 AM > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Jr. High "Mean Girl" cliques, and why guys join them > > > if a few of these...could grow the fuck up, and start acting more like adults. >
