--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, TurquoiseB <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "do.rflex" <do.rflex@> wrote: > > > > What's interesting about this post is that Barry appears, > > out of all the main posters on this forum, to have the > > biggest ego of all of them. He celebrates his ego [self] > > in his posts - and appears to have all of the skills > > required to hide the terrors of non-existence he describes. > > The bigger they are, the harder they fall. > > I'll answer this, even though it's a bit of a slam, > because it opens the possibility for a discussion > that I don't think I've seen here before. > > It's related to comments I made about love vs. lust > recently. It's clearly possible to be as *attached* > to love as it is to lust. And in many spiritual > traditions, it's the *attachment* that's the boogey- > man in the equation, not the activity itself. > > So is it the *having* an ego that's the boogeyman > in the realization-of-Self game, or is it the > *attachment* to one's ego that is the boogeyman? > > I'm kinda of the opinion that it's the latter. > > Do I have a big ego? You betcha. Do I *revel* in > having a big ego? You betcha. Am I particularly > *attached* to that ego? I don't think so, because > I've had so *many* of them. I've watched them come > and go for years now, ever since I met the Rama > dude and sat with him in the desert and had my > ego-at-the-time blown out of its socks and watched > it die. > > This is a rap that is *not* gonna resonate with > a lot of people here. Unless you have been in a > situation in which your ego -- your small s self -- > gets blown away and replaced with a *new* ego > on a regular basis, what's to identify with? > > But that's been my experience. So shoot me. :-) > > We'd go out into the desert with Rama as one ego, > and come back for a few days blown out of our > socks, egoless. It would take a day or two for > a new one to take hold. The same thing would > happen at the weekly meetings; it was to a large > extent what we were there for...those periods of > "between-ness" in which the old ego has been blown > away and a new one hasn't yet taken root. > > For those of you who can admit to having dropped > acid, and assuming you actually did *good* acid, > try to remember back to that experience. There > was a *reason* that Tiny Tim stole the basis for > his book "The Psychedelic Experience" from the > "Tibetan Book of the Dead." A good hit of pure > Sandoz was literally like traversing the Bardo. > You entered into the experience with a self, and > the experience pointed out to you in no uncertain > terms that you didn't really have one, and that > Self was all there was. And for a few hours after > the LSD experience, you remained in this "between- > ness" state, with the old self blown away, but > without having a new one (or, horrors, what you > considered the "old" one) taking root again. > > That's very similar to what I'm talking about, > but without the reliance on chemicals. > > I got *used* to this process of having one's ego > blown out of its socks and, a day or so later, > having a new one replace it. It happened on pretty > much a weekly basis -- if not more often -- for > fourteen years. > > THAT is to some extent where I'm "coming from" > when I celebrate the latest and greatest ego or > self I'm wearing. I don't *resent* the small s > selves that play across my Self. I don't confuse > them *with* Self. They are what they are, mere > masks, costumes that Self has chosen to put on for > some reason that probably even it doesn't understand, > long enough to make a nice entrance at some costume > ball. After the ball is over, the costume goes into > the trash bin and the Self "puts on" another self. > > The new one is no more important than the old one. > It has no more, and no less "going for it" than the > last self did. It's Just Another self. > > So do I have an ego, a small s self? You betcha. > But, unlike many here, do I *resent* that small > s self and view it as some kind of barrier to Self, > something that I have to "overcome" or "get past?" > No I do not. My personal experience has taught me > that that's going to happen pretty soon without > my having to do much to "make" it happen. > > You guys are free to interpret all of this however > you want. What you think about this rap, or my > raps on this forum in general, doesn't really affect > me that much. I've only met one person here in real > life; the rest of you are just dots of phosphor. > > I live my life the way I live it. End of story. > Part of the way I have chosen to live it is to *not* > fall into the rut (as I perceive it) of resenting > the self or believing that it's a terrible obstacle > to Self. I have had enough extended experiences of > Self to know that that's not true. So I choose to > have *fun* with the ego, rather than resenting it > or pretending not to have one. OF COURSE I have > one; so do you. And, in my opinion, having exper- > ienced enlightenment for short periods of time, so > do the enlightened. Having an ego during those > periods of enlightenment did *not* prevent my > realization of enlightenment. > > I'm *comfortable* with my ego. I'm comfortable cele- > brating it, and even more comfortable laughing at its > silliness. If you knew me personally, you'd have more > of a feeling for the full *extent* of that silliness. > I can laugh at each silly ego because I know it's not > going to be around that long. Tomorrow morning I'm > likely to wake up and have a whole new ego to laugh > at, and with. What is not to like about all that?
Barry's ego puts on a show of pretending that it has a handle on itself.
