Chris

So let me get this straight. I wish somebody a merry christmas and receive 
offence and threats from you - the person who was friendly enough to suggest a 
sexual union with you and your colleagues gets a pat on the back. I annoyed you 
with a trivial remark but without any intent so to do, while he who employed 
offensive language with the clear purpose of causing hurt is excused because he 
was "rightfully angry".

Only he wasn't - nobody has the right to be offensive, whatever the cause. For 
my part, I don't believe I was so, but I am happy to apologise as many times as 
you like for the upset I have caused to you or anyone else on this list. I am 
not, however, willing to accept your offence and threats without complaint.

I can understand that this issue is causing you a great deal of stress, but has 
it not occurred to you that you are not the only one offended by the real 
abuse? Do you think that I am not hurt by it, even if I cannot claim that it is 
actually directed at me? Can you not understand that messages of the kind that 
initiated this discussion give offence to every reasonable list member? I have 
made no claim to be "on [y]our side" - indeed,  I don't accept a model of the 
relationships described by this list that is characterised by sides - but I 
joined this forum with the intent to become better informed, not to have to 
witness the abuse that is all too frequent from those you have described as 
"rightfully angry".

Let us note that I have not defended my early seasonal wishes, nor sought to 
justify them in any way. All I have done other than advance them and then to 
apologise for so doing is to complain that you have responded out of anger, 
have insulted and offended me in an effectively open forum, and have raised 
quite unnecessary threats against me. Then in our dialogue on this subject you 
have variously *instructed* me to "[b]e a nicer person", to "take a walk in 
this guy's shoes", and to "not respond to these people in this manner", all of 
which remarks you might usefully have addressed to yourself before striking out 
at the nearest available scapegoat.

And what about Steve C who offered the clearly offensive "I'm sure can we 
express ourselves better [than] a 2 year old" and yet received no rebuke from 
you at all. Not that I would pretend to sit in judgement on him, but I am 
astonished that one who did no more than employ light sarcasm and then admit 
his error should be the butt of your ill humour while has made no apology and 
yet remains free of your ire. Even your colleague Mr Hosey remarked that "the 
regular members of the group are better behaved than that, with the possible 
exception of Chris, who gets as pissed at being repeatedly accused of being a 
malware author as the users are who accuse us" - unfortunately it is the 
behaviour of that same Chris which must now stick in my memory of this 
incident, if not in my craw. 
 
I will still not call you what you might be rightfully called, hoping yet that 
your sense will get the better of your 
intransigence. I have admitted my failing - can you not do the same?

With best wishes - Nick


On 18 Oct 2010, at 14:26, Christopher Forsythe wrote:

> It is not right to provoke people who are already angry. They come to
> us for help, however they phrase it. You responded in a childish
> manner, which is not acceptable. My anger at you is not misdirected, I
> have received lawsuit threats from previous interactions just like
> that one. I'm tired of this whole thing, I'm tired of the things we
> cannot control. But the thing I'm tired of the most is people who say
> they are on our side, but make things worse.
> 
> Please just don't reply if you can't help these people. If I see
> another response from you in this manner, to any person in a similar
> situation, I'm removing you from the list. This is not their fault,
> they get stuck in a situation that's awful, and you want to try to
> make things better with sarcasm? That's just awful.
> 
> My anger at you is not misdirected.



-- 

Nicholas J A Sanders
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semiotek

+44 [0]7092 153 409
[email protected]
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