The first time I heard Joni would have been in 1969
shortly after Clouds was released.  Our family had
recently moved to the Toronto area from small-town
Pembroke, Ontario.  I was 12 when we moved and I felt
uprooted.  Puberty/adolescence is probably not a good
time to move from the town you've spent most of your
life in to a completely new, bit city.  I was a bit
immature, that is, compared to the "city" kids.  We
moved in mid-summer and I started Grade 7 that fall
and the kids in my class all seemed so grownup.  They
were interested in boys, I was afraid of them.  They
were wearing makeup and going to make-out parties in
the garage near some townhouses.  I didn't think I had
anything in common with them.

Over the course of the next three years, because we
were in a new subdivision that was growing by leaps
and bounds, I went to about five different schools, as
they kept building new schools and changing the
boundaries.  Or, the new school wasn't quite finished
on time, so we spent part of the year being bussed to
another school, where we had temporary classrooms in
the gym.  Two schools each in both Grades 7 and 8.

Then, I started highschool.  All my classmates from
Grade 8 were going to the public highschool, but my
parents wanted us all to go to Catholic schools, so
once again, I started highschool not knowing a darn
person.  Needless to say, I was a wreck - I'm not a
really outgoing person at the best of times so put
adolescent angst on top of that, and I felt like
biggest freak in history.

Somewhere in that time - I guess if it was 1969, I
would have been 16 (for some reason, I always thought
it was earlier than that), a friend of ours from our
old hometown came to visit and she told me about Joni
Mitchell.  I was imagining she'd be some country and
western type artist - which is what I figured anyone
Canadian would be (Canadians of a certain age would
probably get this, the rest of you, maybe not!) but I
bought Clouds without having heard her first, took it
home, put it on the record player and.... I was in
love, I had found my idol, the person who understood
my soul and lifted me out of the gloom (temporarily
anyway!) Joni became my goddess - I wanted to be just
like her.  I wanted to play her songs on the guitar
and I wanted hair just like hers (with the help of
Summer Blonde, I got as close as I could).  

The beauty of discovering an artist not at the very
beginning is that you can buy their older albums too,
so it's kind of like Christmas every day for a while -
I just had to go out and get the first one (STAS, Joni
Mitchell, whatever you want to call it.)  I was in
Joni heaven.

Years later, still a freak but fairly comfortable with
it, she still lifts me up and inspires me.  Yet, I
still haven't listed to Joni this year and I guess I
should because I'm feeling way too melancholy lately
(it's winter, it's dark, I owe lots of money to lots
of people, and we're all too friggin' gloomy in my
family - resolution for this year: have some fun!) 
Sometimes Joni makes me feel really good and positive;
other times, she makes me cry (which is good, because
then you get it all out).

It's funny - I'm not sure whether I'd have felt the
same about Joni if I had discovered her at a later
age.  I'm sure part of the devotion (that's all I can
call it) that I have to her relates to my age and
personal circumstance at the time.  I have since
discovered many talented singers/songwriters (many,
thanks to this list) but no one ever does it for me
like Joni.  Ahh, first love!



--- Mags <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> close your eyes and remember
> remember that very first time you ever heard Joni
> it took your breathe away
> stopped you....no, deeper than that
> riveted you in your tracks
> you could not believe
> how a human voice could reach down
> so deep inside you
> touch your very soul


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