There's a steady much-needed rain here in the East today and I'm listening to Bruce with a capital C (the only Bruce for me). I don't know if it's the rain, but the glow I felt from this past weekend is slowly fading into a wistful sort of melancholy. And that's no good, so in a lame attempt to cheer myself up, I have come up with a list of potential workshops for Jonifest 2003. Feel free to add your own.
1. The Three Great Stimulants How to find the perfect balance of caffeine, alcohol, and (insert substance of your choice) to make it through Jonifest with little or no sleep and still not feel like shit. 2. Lesson in Survival Research shows that, on average, Jonifesters are more likely to experience extreme performance anxiety, whether performing on stage, in a song circle, or alone in their rooms. Learn to control the trembling hands and unintended vibratos that keep you from performing at your best. 3. I Don't Know Where I Stand Navigating the topsy-turvy world of the Jonifest dating scene. Tactics for finding your perfect Jonifest mate if you are unsure of either your own or anyone else's sexual orientation. 4. How Do You Stop After Jonifest ...do you find yourself smiling at or offering hugs to strangers that pass you on the street or at the office? ...do you have auditory hallucinations, which are manifested as snippets of Joni Mitchell, James Taylor, or Grateful Dead songs? ...are you spending more time than usual checking your email for the latest JMDL messages? You may be suffering from post-Jonifest stress syndrome. Learn what steps you can take to prevent this rare (but not all that troublesome) disorder. 5. Song for Sharon A method for learning and memorizing the lyrics and the order of verses to Joni's longest songs (e.g., Hejira, Song for Sharon, The Sire of Sorrow, Yvette in English) . Never again suffer the embarrassment of stumbling over lyrics or drawing a blank at the next sing along or song circle. Yahoo! Finance - Get real-time stock quotes
