Rosemary's post got me thinking a bit about my upbringing. I was discussing this thread with my mother by phone this morning, and she too, despised being addressed as "Mrs Thurlow Weed." She had her own name, thank you very much. Shortly after she was married, she encountered "Mrs Thurlow Weed, the former Auwina van Dijk." As far as she was concerned, she still was very much "Auwina," nothing "former" about it. (And still is to this day!) In the US, she formally uses Auwina Weed, but when she goes to the Netherlands to visit, the uses her maiden name of van Dijk. Part of it, she admits, is linguistics, as people in the US often become helpless with a Dutch surname, and in the Netherlands the English "Weed" produces some interesting spelling variations.
With regard to titles, I was always taught to address my elders as Mr or Mrs So-and-so. It was taught as a form of respect, that children are never to address an older person by their first names. That would be disrespectful. Of course, earned titles such as Dr, Rev, and so forth were always appropriate. As one grew up, this practise would be continued to some extent among one's peers in business settings, until such time as the professional relationship was close enough to allow address by first name, or if one was invited to do so. One of my peeves is the tendency nowadays of children addressing people of their parents' or grandparents' generation by their first names. I am not often in surroundings with young children, but on the rare occasion that I find myself so, I occasionally find myself correcting an (in my mind) erroneous introduction, and I insist young children address me as Mr Weed. They're not old enough to address me by my first name. Addressing an elder by first name is a privilege, not a right. Recently though, I'm finding younger people (in their 20s, I'm 40) are addressing me as "Sir." While I suppose this is done out of respect, I find it a bit startling, as it is unexpected. Am I starting to look that distinguished, or just that old and wrinkled? According to my SO, it's the latter; according to everyone else, it isn't. :) I must add though, that my first grade teacher has implored me, since I'm now an adult, to please address her as "Jeanne." While I appreciated the invitation, I told her she made such an impression on me as a child, and drove home so firmly how to address one's elders, I had to politely decline and continue to address her as "Miss Gruenwald." It would feel rude and impolite to do otherwise. She laughed and then lamented that she had the same trouble with nearly all of her former pupils. "Perhaps I taught them too well," she said with a chuckle. But now I'm curious: the tendency in the US of children addressing elders by their first name; while I abhor it, I am curious to know if this is the case in other countries as well. Is this a US phenomenon, or does it exist elsewhere? Thurlow an old-fashioned person Lancaster, OH To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
