too much of a gamble, he is f*cking useless when it comes to crosses.
Coat on and waiting for the Taxi!
--------------------------------------------------
From: "wayne callaghan " <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, January 25, 2010 2:20 PM
To: "leedslist " <[email protected]>
Subject: [LU] FW: A good signing
Subject: A good signing
(apologies to god botherers)
The Muslim faith pulled off a massive coup yesterday by signing Jesus
Christ from its bitter rival Christianity. The transfer sees the
Christians' pin-up boy end his long association with the Rome outfit and
switch to Islam on a Bosman.
'We'd been looking to strengthen the squad for a while, and this'll really
increase the competition for places,' said Islam's manager Allah today.
'Fair play to him, Jesus has got a lovely touch, especially with the sick
and the poor, and I think the lad's shown that he's prepared to put the
team first. Some say his best years are behind him, but I reckon he's due
a return to form before he hangs up his sandals, and at the end of the day
it'll just be great to have a player of his calibre in and around the
dressing room.'
Jesus was scouted by many of the big faiths in his early days, but it was
playing for the Christians in the early seasons of the first millennium
that he really made a name for himself with some dazzling on-field
miracles. 'He played that floating role on waterlogged pitches better than
anyone,' said one fan. 'Mind you, he wasn't very strong in the tackle,
always preferring to turn the other cheek, but he was pretty handy as a
physio. Broken legs, leprosy, you name it - he soon had the lads back on
their feet with nothing more than a dab of the magic sponge.'
Jesus was today looking forward to a new dawn in his career. 'Don't get me
wrong, I've had a great time turning out every Sunday for Christianity,
but the time's now right to move out of my comfort zone and try something
new.'
But despite the excitement, some Muslim fans wonder whether his body is
still up to the demands of the modern game. 'It's the fixture list that's
the worry. I remember they rushed him back for a cameo just three days
after he picked up a knock in the Good Friday clash. That ruled him out
for a while.'
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