Obviously using you're performance as practice material for the next Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
"There is a choking quality of nocturnal obscuration in this instrument which suits you and this hopefully-painfully numbly depressive declamation of exquisite emptiness. The wood in the sound engulfs the throat and presses the forehead in a clutching gentility to highlight your very focused phrasing." - or maybe it's only a really bad Absinthe hangover. But congratulations, anyway! Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2008 Results Winner: Purple Prose The mongrel dog began to lick her cheek voraciously with his sopping wet tongue, so wide and flat and soft, a miniature pink fleshy cape soaked through and oozing with liquid salivary gratitude; after all, she had rescued him from the clutches of Bernard, the curmudgeonly one-eyed dogcatcher, whose own tongue -- she remembered vividly the tongues of all her lovers -- was coarse and lethargic, like a slug in a sandpaper trenchcoat. Runner-Up: The complementary crepuscularities of earth and sky shrank away from one another as the roseate effulgence of a new dawn burst forth, not unlike a reclining pneumatic beauty's black silk stocking splitting apart at the seam to reveal the glowing radiance of an angrily sun-burned leg. Dishonorable Mention: The pancake batter looked almost perfect, like the morning sun shining on the cream-colored bare shoulder of a gorgeous young blonde driving 30 miles over the speed limit down a rural Nebraska highway with the rental car's sunroof open, except it had a few lumps. Winner: Adventure Leopold looked up at the arrow piercing the skin of the dirigible with a sort of wondrous dismay -- the wheezy shriek was just the sort of sound he always imagined a baby moose being beaten with a pair of accordions might make. -- -- To get on or off this list see list information at http://www.cs.dartmouth.edu/~wbc/lute-admin/index.html