---------------------------------
[28] Big Brother is watching us
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From Monica Brady on the IMUSA list
I have received a phone call from Paddy Harverson this lunchtime
(Monday 9th April). He told me that the club are putting cameras up in areas where
persistent standing occurs to study the dynamics of what happens, ie where the
standing starts, how it spreads etc. He assured me that these cameras will NOT be
used to identify individuals, and no sanctions will be taken against anyone as a
result of the footage taken by these cameras. The club hope to have the cameras
installed for the Charlton game and for the rest of this season.
---------------------------------
[27] Latest transfer gossip
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From Marc
According to the Indie we are leading the race for the 8 M £ rated Auxerre french
striker Djibril Cissé, 19. He was watched by Martin Ferguson playing for club and U20
France team and we are apparently preparing a bid. They also claim that Guy Roux,
Auxerre general manager, was Fergie's guest for the Munich game.
Cissé has been a regular in Auxerre first team for 3 only months but he has already
scored a dozen of goals. He is an exceptionnal player, France's next best thing in
attack. For many he is the fastest french player, extremely skilful and very good in
front of goal. His reputation is better than Henry, Anelka or Kanoute's at the same
age.
Guy Roux would be reluctant to let the player go so soon but a good offer may tempt
him. And with Mexès also on Fergie shopping list, a double Auxerre arrival is possible.
---------------------------------
[26] And Nicky Weaver said
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
"I wasn't too hot at maths at school, but I know enough to be sure
that we are not down yet. We will probably have to win four of our last six games, but
Bradford did something similar last season and when the gaffer was at Oldham they
won three in a week to survive, so it is not impossible.Of course we feel miserable
because I don't think we deserved to lose at Everton. It is probably the best we have
played for ages and yet we have got nothing out of it. It is hard to take."
Maths, goalkeeping - wonder when he will find out what he's good at?
---------------------------------
[25] Joe Royle thinks he's a miracle worker
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
"I thought we were terrific in the first-half. We were enterprising,
open, passed it well, made and missed chances and then produced a
couple of elementary mistakes which cost us goals. Unfortunately in the second half we
never quite got to it, I will admit that. But first half we were outstanding. In many
ways it was the best we had played for a long time. It was forty-five minutes rich in
promise, yet we came in 2-1 down and that just about sums the season up. We continue
to shoot ourselves in the foot, but while survival is mathematically available to us
we will go for it."
---------------------------------
[24] Another quote of the day
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
"When we turned up in those white suits, everyone thought we were the
band" -
Liverpool skipper Robbie Fowler relives Liverpool's fashion faux-pas at the 1996 cup
final in the Sunday Mirror.
---------------------------------
[23] Latest Birdman article
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Birdy's Bacon Barm NO 16 (9 APR 2001)
sponsored by www.homestead.com/birdland1
Free copies to Vas ov www.m-u-f-c.co.uk & Barney ov www.rednews.co.uk
INGREDIENTS -
RETRO TV FOR COFFIN DODGERS / YOU KNOW YOU ARE OLD IF YA EAT.... /
YOU KNOW YOU ARE OLD IF YA SAY..../ JACKPOT - TOO MUCH CHANGE ! / TABLE FOOTBALL /
LACKA KAPPA / BIT OF COSTA DEL SOLFORD HISTORY FOR YA
This Barm is dedicated to J.D. Wetherspoon - nuff said.
RETRO TV FOR COFFIN DODGERS
Theres loads of these retro programmes on tele at the mo that look back to the 80's
and even last night I watched one about 1991. Now its fine by me - you sit there
thinking "ermmm what was I up to in this particular year then". And in the case of
1991 I was single, always out in town in Richfields, off out to United away games -
things have changed a lot for me now - I am married, mortgage, two pan lids blah blah.
So these programmes work for people of my age. But image Gladys or Mabel who are say
85 or summat. Now 1991 means sod all to them - they aren't sat there are they saying
"aye 1991 - things were different then - oh them were the days". No they are not - sod
all has changed for them in 10 years and sod all will in the next. Frightening init!
Anyway while we are on the retro theme .....12 - "that seems ages
ago"....
Marco, Merick, Terry Lee, Gary Tibs and yours truly, Snake Belts, Slush
Puppies, Power cuts, Damon & Debbie, Punks & mods, 3 channels on tele, Happy Days &
The Fonze, Alan Bradley, 2 points for a win, Monkey Boots, Raleigh Bomber.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE OLD IF YA EAT....
lemon curd (especially in rice pudding), tongue, prunes, braising
steak, rhubarb, liver, semolina, kidney, sugar butties or banana butties, spotted
dick, lard, drippin
YOU KNOW YOU ARE OLD IF YA SAY....
Mustn't grumble, Wireless, Are you courting ? Picture House, Rip
raps, Ham shank (without laughing)! Oh I love Cliff Richard, Kids today eh! ,Chip Oil,
Rum and Coke Please.
JACKPOT - TOO MUCH CHANGE !
A few years back I was in a certain Salford pub and I get the ales in for me, the wife
and her mate. Now I hands over a fiver - but stone me I clock the woman behind the bar
handing me back various notes. Now casually as fcuk I sticks the cash in me bin and
goes and sits down. Now grinning like a deranged fool I check the contents of me sky
rocket which reveals 30 pound odd. I worked out that she must have given me change
from a twenty pound note AND then mistakenly given me a twenty instead of a fiver.
Right result or what. I ended up having a few more Stellas, chippy on the way home and
still had more wonga on me than when I left the house. Why cant nights out always be
like that?
TABLE FOOTBALL
Someone once said to me "everyone is good at something - its just finding out what you
are good at". Now I sat there thinking and eventually realised the one sole thing that
I am any good at. The answer came back "table football"... or is it bar football?
Anyway I got a table football for Christmas in 1975 and I recon all the practise I put
in then has paid off - I like to think I am pretty good at it. Sad aint it that this
is my only talent but there you go. Now apart from personal satisfaction of hammering
my mates at this game every now and then - oh and taking on all comers in the Peverill
a few years back - I haven't exactly made a career out of it. However you can keep it
for me cos Christmas 1994 I was glad I was good at table football - very glad in fact.
We, via a few beers in town, ended up in
the White Swan in Swinton on the old nuts and bolts. Now as it turns out theres a
table football in there so one of the lads (Tag) suggests a derby game of doubles. He
opts to be on my team and searches out a partner to double up with Gabs (whos a blue).
Now imagine the coincidence when only 5 balls drop out of the machine instead of the
usual 9 or 11. Now this was a coincidence - but when they (siddy) went two nil up even
I was spooked out when we stormed back and won 3-2 a la Maine Road. Surely we couldn't
follow it up with a 5 niller ! Yep ... we sure as hell did. 3-2 and 5-0 - class - you
just couldn't make it up.
LACKA KAPPA
This is a plea for help - a very very long shot plea for help but its worth a try. In
1984 we had a school trip to Colwyn Bay and my mate Boyno had his most treasured
possession - his Blue Kappa trackie bottoms stolen. Now it wasnt me(sounding like
shaggy!) and I think we all are sure that a lad called Squid nicked em - but it
remains a 17 year mystery. Now Boyno, or TB as he likes to be called has never got
over this and if anyone out there has a pair - light blue that you could let me have
I'd be very grateful.
BIT OF COSTA DEL SOLFORD HISTORY FOR YA
On the rolling banks of the James River (Richmond - Virginia - U, S of A) stands a
remarkable Tudor estate. And by Tudor, we're not simply referring to an architectural
style. This manor house was actually built in Lancashire, England in the late 15th
Century.
For hundreds of years, Agecroft Hall was the distinguished home of England's Langley
and Dauntesey families. At the end of the 19th century, however, Agecroft fell into
disrepair, and in 1925 it was sold at auction. Hearing of this tremendous opportunity,
Richmonder Thomas C. Williams, Jr. purchased the structure, and had it dismantled,
crated, and shipped across the Atlantic, and then painstakingly reassembled in a
Richmond neighborhood known as Windsor Farms. Today, Agecroft Hall stands beautifully
re-created, in a setting reminiscent of its original site on Lancashire's Irwell River.
Video of the week - Billy Elliot is out - so go get on this one - good film and some
good music in it too.
Tunes of the week are - Up The Junction by Squeeze and Can You Dig It by The Mock
Turtles
Websites of the week - www.claimsdirect.com - get emailing em now to see how Declan
Swan and Carl Scaiffe are getting on with their recover.
Anyway - thats me stuffed - where them Rennies gone ? (oh and always read the label)
Que the credits.
Like Paul Weller says in A Town Called Malice "I could go on for hours and I probably
will but" Defoe - laters.
---------------------------------
[22] Bayern draw
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
At the weekend, a 1-1 draw at Dortmund. They are still top but had Effenberg and
Lizarazu sent off . The key point is that Bayern have lost 8 times in the league this
season - they can be beaten.
---------------------------------
[21] Latest team news
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From Ananova
'Jaap Stam and Nicky Butt are expected to shrug off minor injuries to be available for
Manchester United's home match against Charlton. Stam suffered a slight groin injury
against Bayern Munich last week, while Butt also picked up a knock. Sir Alex Ferguson
expects both to recover to provide him with a full strength squad for the visit of
Alan Curbishley's side to Old Trafford. Victory against Charlton will leave United
needing just six more points to guarantee their seventh Premier League title in nine
years.'
---------------------------------
[20] First false passport punishment
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
PA:
'Fifa have banned an Argentinian player from all matches until June 6 for playing with
a false passport. Fifa say they have extended a ban on Hector Diego Garay to worldwide
level. The move follows a request to Fifa by the French Football Federation.
The Federation had slapped a three-month suspension on Garay for using a fake Italian
passport while with Strasbourg last season in order to circumvent limits on the number
of players from non-European Union countries eligible to play for French professional
teams. Garay now plays in Argentina for Talleres Cordoba. Four other players in France
also received suspensions for using false papers. Uefa says it wants to clamp down on
clubs fielding players with false passports.'
---------------------------------
[19] PSV want us to sort out Ruud deal
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
PSV Eindhoven coach Eric Gerets said:
"Sir Alex Ferguson knows I'm in a very difficult position. I would like a result of
this situation as soon as possible. If Ruud stays with us for next season I will be as
happy as a young lad of 12. If he has to go away I hope there will be a solution in
two to three weeks because otherwise it will be difficult for me as coach of PSV.
Because I respect Sir Alex Ferguson very much, I know he'll want to help me with my
problem."
>From PA:
'Although he did not score, van Nistelrooy played well enough in PSV's victory over
Ajax to suggest he is back to full fitness, if still lacking the sharpness that caught
Ferguson's eye initially.
Ruud said: "It is nice that Sir Alex Ferguson has come to watch a Dutch game. My
fitness is fine.".
---------------------------------
[18] And who are you?
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Germany defender Paul Breitner. Who? Exactly.
"You need a short passing game as well to make your mark in the middle. I am not sure
David Beckham has that and we may never know because the time to try and change his
style may well have passed. Beckham has not developed at all over the past two or
three years. I know people in England regard him as world class, but that is
probably because a lot of Englishmen admire his ability to marry a Spice Girl."
---------------------------------
[17] Gary Lineker tips Martin O'Neill for Fergie's job
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
"Ferguson will be a tough act, if not an impossible one, to follow, just as O'Neill
is proving to be for Peter Taylor at Filbert Street. But if anybody has the ability
and personality to hold it all together at Old Trafford it's O'Neill. United have to
make the biggest decision of their history. Do they go for continuity and the
promising, but hugely inexperienced, McClaren or do they go back to Scotland for the
best? To my way of thinking it has to be O'Neill. His priority for next season must
be a successful Champions League
campaign. After that, the temptation to move to United, should they come calling,
would be enormous."
---------------------------------
[16] Eric Cantona will see United play!
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Eric is apparently in town to attend a show at the Bridgewater Hall today and he will
also be at OT for Charlton
---------------------------------
[15] Dacourt in his spat with Viera
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From Marc
from OneFootball : during an interview with French television station
Telefoot on Sunday, the former Lens player revealed the truth. "His action was a
deliberate one," said Dacourt. "But if I hadn't written that letter he could have
been suspended for eight matches and fined £60,000."
more : Dacourt also added, this is probably the most interesting : "He called me
everyday to know if I had sent the letter".
---------------------------------
[14] Gary Nev confident
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
"We feel that we can be in a position when we go to Germany where, if
we win the game, we can put pressure on them because we've got a good
run-in".
---------------------------------
[13] Charlton charging less than us for live beam back
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Following our story at the weekend about the charge for beaming back the coverage of
our Boro game back to OT and Utd's response to IMUSA and the £8 United are charging
for beam back tickets where they implied it was not a profit making exercise it now
seems Charlton can do it for our match (in that cheap little London town) for only £5
and £3.
'http://www.charlton-athletic.co.uk/
BEAM-BACK TICKETS IN DEMAND
Tickets are selling well for the beam-back of Tuesday's game at
Manchester United.
Attendance is limited to 4,800 fans and crowd noise from Old Trafford
will be allowed, but no amplified commentary.
Seats, price £5 adults and £3 juniors, will be available from 10am-
6pm on Monday and from 10am until kick-off on Tuesday, subject to
availability. A special issue of the Valley Review will be published,
price £1. Matchday parking controls will not be in operation, but
fans are urged not to park inconsiderately in surrounding streets.'
---------------------------------
[12] Fergie & Cole do their bit
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From PA:
'Sir Alex Ferguson and Andy Cole are helping launch a £220 million
Government programme designed to combat drug abuse. The cash will be spent on high
visibility policing of drug blackspots, extra community wardens, additional CCTV
cameras and anti- truancy projects.
Chancellor Gordon Brown and Cabinet Office minister Ian McCartney
will be teaming up with the Manchester United manager to launch a £5
million scheme. Sir Alex Ferguson, England star Cole and former Great Britain rugby
league winger Martin Offiah will give their support to the Positive Futures Campaign.'
---------------------------------
[11] Story of the weekend
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Thanks to Paul for this:
'Top Marks this week go to the government agency in Scunthorpe who updated their email
system to use a filter which filtered out any emails containing profanity or obscene
language of any kind. All was fine, til they realised that no-one whatsoever had got
ANY emails
during the whole week since they installed the software... They checked through
everything and couldn't find a problem... until one bright spark pointed out that all
their email addresses, [EMAIL PROTECTED] contained the word 'c**t!'
Marvellous!!!'
---------------------------------
[10] Excuse of the year?
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Nicky Weaver on Everton's third goal:
"I expected the ball to nounce, but it hit a puddle and went under me" I don't know
what I could have done".
Er, saved the ball seeming the most obvious answer.
---------------------------------
[9] Weekend tabloid gossip in full
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Today's SUN says that Becks has invested £1m in film production company Genius Film
Partners, which itself invests only in British films.
Other titbits:
Paul Scholes will be the next player to sign a new deal, worth £11.7 over 5 years,
leaving Becks to sort his out in the summer.
Becks has also signed a new deal to wear Adidas boots, worth £3m - a four year deal
even though he had 4 years left of his current deal.
NOW reported that Soton wanted McClaren as their new boss. Some hope.
And silly story of the weekend goes to NOW for reporting that Fergie is apparently
spending £300,000 on renovations at his £750,000 home in Wilmslow "turning his
mock-tudor Mansion into a fortress to keep out unwanted visitors...will keep out
intruders with a 7ft garden wall and railings plus remote-control gates".
---------------------------------
[8] More Ruud speculation
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
That classic journo approach of 'a friend/source/mate' said...
'A Manchester United source told the Sunday People: "We understand Alex will be going
to see the game, but has no plans to speak to Ruud or PSV. If any talks are planned
they will be left to chief executive Peter Kenyon and finance director David Gill who
usually conduct negotiations like that. At this stage the manager is making a final
assessment as to whether to go ahead with a deal or not."
---------------------------------
[7] Ruud just concentrates on PSV
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Van Nistelrooy said: "We are close to winning the title. Nothing is more important at
the moment than PSV. I wouldn't have minded anyway (Fergie being at the game
yesterday). I have no urge to have contact with another club yet. No, Ferguson didn't
try to contact me either. I have nothing to demand anyway, because I am still under
contract."
But apparently still keen as ever to sign for United.
---------------------------------
[6] Hate to say it...
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
But perhaps watching a good atmosphere at OT yesterday the idea might be to increase
the away capacity!
---------------------------------
[5] Eric at Old Trafford
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Only high point with Cup results yesterday (Arse won 2-1, Scousers by the same) going
the other way to our wishes was the Sky cameras showing The King, Eric Cantona, back
home in the stands at Old Trafford.
Spotted by a few Reds milling around before kick-off, just what was Eric doing back at
Old Trafford. Whatever, shame he had to put up with that Cockernee crap instead of
seeing his United.
---------------------------------
[4] Remember, get your latest Red News tomorrow
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Red News, No.76 - just £1.50 and available before the Charlton game on Tuesday. Buying
it helps the mag and this web site - I can feel a beg coming on - oh please buy it!
Also the deadline for the final issue of Red News of the season looms ever closer in
the distance. We'd love any contributions you may have and we're particularly looking
for...
Moments of the season (any special/memorable on/off the field events from this season
that stand alone in the old fading memory banks)
Rotterdam memories for a feature celebrating the ECWC triumph a decade ago
Dog & Patridge memories - for a feature on that great pub that is closing this month
(two more games to go in fact)
and anything else you may have up your sleeve.
The deadline for any or all of the above is Monday 23rd April - we'd really appreciate
any e.mail contributions to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
---------------------------------
[3] Joke of the weekend
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Step forward and Joe Royle said.
For firstly saying he thought about dropping Nicky Weaver and then backing him (like
he had a choice) and then saying he was "man of the match after the 3-1 defeat at
Everton yesterday. Let's get this right - a penalty given away and a Jim Lieghtonish
cock-up for the third that would have Taibi and Paddy Roche reaching for the phone to
explain what happens next.
4 points behind Boro having played one game more, city now face the very realy
possibility (if they lose to Arse on Wednesday and Leicester at the weekend) that if
we win all our games and they lose theirs, that we will win the title and they will be
relegated on the same day. Which day? Derby day day. Poetic justice you may call it.
---------------------------------
[2] Faux Pas of the year?
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Goes to Amanda Byram (who, exactly and even more of a 'who?' once you read this), one
of the co-presenters of the ailing Big Breakfast for apparently going up to Keano last
Tuesday in the players lounge and saying: "I don't even know who you are".
She goes out with United 'celebrity fan', Patrick Kielty.
---------------------------------
[1] Golfer loves Fergie
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 9, 2001 by bar-knee:
Ryder Cup captain Sam Torrance:
"The captaincy is a one-off job these days so this is my only chance and I want a
victory. That's why I contacted Alex Ferguson for advice. I am a Manchester United fan
and Alex seems to get it just right. I wanted to know what makes United work as a
team. Alex gave me some confidential pointers, things that I would never have thought
about myself and that was a great help"
