---------------------------------
[6] A dedication to the City Fan
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, April 17, 2001 by ps:
In anticipation of the visit of our neighbours on Saturday, RN would like to start off
the week with a tribute to the City fan.
[To the tune of the Beatles Nowhere Man]
He's a real City Fan
Cannot take it like a man
Says it's all a master plan
By Franny Lee.
Spouts the pitch size right on cue
Thinks his team is massive too
Thank F**k he is not like you
And me!
City fan, please listen
All your stars, go missin'
City fan
The wo-o-o-orld is laughing at you.
He's not very f**king wise
He can't see his teams demise
City fan, why take the lies
At all
City fan, don't worry
You'll soon catch up with Bury
City fan
In Dee vision two, back where you belong.
He's a real City fan
Feeling like an also ran
Making no more weekend plans for Wemb-er-ley ...
Making no more weekend plans for Wemb-er-ley.
---------------------------------
[5] One for our younger readers
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, April 17, 2001 by ps:
Whoever came up with this, you're just... well, sick! So sick in fact that other
people deserve to see it.
Mary had a little lamb
Until she moved it south
And now it's burning in a field
Because of foot and mouth
---------------------------------
[4] Neville Confident
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, April 17, 2001 by ps:
>From Sporting Life:
Gary Neville believes Manchester United will reach the Champions League semi-finals if
they score twice against Bayern Munich.
Neville is ignoring the prophets of doom who have been predicting United's demise
since they lost 1-0 at Old Trafford two weeks ago.
He is not worried that Bayern have only lost three of the 73 home ties they have
played in the European Cup.
Neville feels United can transform Wednesday's quarter-final tie if they score in the
Olympic Stadium, while two would be enough for victory.
The England defender believes the Reds can emulate their magnificent 3-2 victory at
Juventus from two years ago if they attack from the first whistle.
"It's not as bad as everyone is making out, but obviously there has to be a
performance from us," he said.
"We have to score. But we beat Juventus after we went 2-0 down and after they had
scored an away goal so if we can score two goals out there, then I'm confident we will
go through to the European Cup semi-finals.
"We must do that and we must perform because they are resilient and good defensively.
"We need to make sure in this game that we go on all-out attack.
"There must be no worries and no negative thoughts. We must think let's score two
goals and we'll go through."
United's confidence could hardly be higher going into the game after they secured
their third successive Premier League title on Saturday.
This has topped up the players' morale after the low of losing the first leg at Old
Trafford to a late Paulo Sergio goal.
"We were disappointed that the game went against us in the last 10 minutes," said
Neville.
"I think at 75 or 80 minutes the game was equal. They had completely nullified our
attacking options and we had completely nullified their attacking options.
"I think probably the impetus of the two substitutes they brought on and the slack
marking at the set-piece cost us.
"We felt 0-0 would a great result going over to Bayern because we always back
ourselves to score.
"But now that's gone and it's one game of football and we've got to go over there and
win a match.
"At the end of the day, this is a great opportunity for us.
"You don't expect it to be easy against Bayern Munich and you don't expect it to be
easy in the European Cup quarter-finals, but we're going to go out there and give it
our all."
Bayern come into the match in less ebullient mood and Schalke beat them 3-1 at the
Olympic Stadium on Saturday to overtake them at the top of the Bundesliga.
The German champions will also be without wing-backs Bixente Lizarazu and Hasan
Salihamidzic who are suspended after picking up their third bookings of the
competition at Old Trafford.
Their absence balances out the loss of David Beckham for United after he, too,
received his third yellow card in the first leg.
---------------------------------
[3] Beckham for Rivaldo?
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, April 17, 2001 by ps:
According to soccernet anyway:
An ambitious plan to swap David Beckham for Barcelona forward Rivaldo has been put on
hold after news of the proposal was revealed in Spain.
A meeting between Manchester United and the Spanish club to discuss a possible trade
was to take place on Thursday, prior to Barcelona's UEFA Cup semi-final second leg at
Liverpool.
But, in an amazing indiscretion on Spanish television on Sunday night, the agent for
Rivaldo's Barcelona team-mate Josep Guardiola spoke about the planned discussions and
disrupted what are bound to be sensitive negotiations - making the meeting impossible
and stalling any deal.
As revealed last month, Barcelona president Joan Gaspart confirmed that he has
received an offer of £22million for the Brazil international from United, a sum which
matches their valuation.
With the asking price widely known, discussion about the fee is unnecessary. But
sources in Barcelona claimed last night that the Catalan club have requested a meeting
to suggest a swap deal instead - with Beckham top of their wanted list. Barcelona
vice-president Joan Castells hinted heavily that they would prefer to enter into a
swap deal for Rivaldo, rather than just cash.
---------------------------------
[2] More Rivaldo Talk
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, April 17, 2001 by ps:
Barcelona star Rivaldo could be on the verge of moving to the English Premiership, it
was claimed yesterday.
Representatives from the Spain will be in England on Thursday for a meeting with an
un-named club to discuss a bid for the midfielder.
The claim was made on Canal 33's Gol a Gol by Josep Guardiola's agent Josep Maria
Orobitg.
Orobitg was defending Guardiola's decision to leave the Nou Camp at the end of the
season.
He said: "Do you think that Rivaldo is going to continue at Barcelona?
"I'm saying that because next Thursday, there will be a meeting with a very important
English club which is going to propose the signing of Rivaldo to representatives of
Barcelona."
[Nothing like keeping a secret is there]
Rivaldo signed a new deal with Barcelona last summer with a £60million buy-out clause
in his contract.
---------------------------------
[1] We're still here
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, April 17, 2001 by ps:
Despite the fact that half the Red News team will be crawling around the streets of
Munich searching for late bars this week, some of us have remained behind just so that
there will still be a plethora of news keeping you sane throughout the week.
Oh don't feel sorry for us, we love it really. Who wants to be getting drunk in Munich
anyway?
---------------------------------
[16] More from Fergie
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
"Wednesday will bring back just whether we are capable of winning against the best
teams in Europe. How we do will make our mind up on quite a few things. They have
never lost a game in Munich after taking a first-leg lead and they have only lost
three games in Munich in all their European games. That's not a bad record. And the
German mentality means you know you are going to face a determined set of players,
there's no question of that. They have won their league for the last two seasons and
they are going for a third title this year, so we know we will be facing a formidable
bunch of players. But I believe we have the better ability. In fact, there are many
things that I'm positive about."
---------------------------------
[15] Latest Birdman article
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
Birdy's Bacon Barm NO 17 (12 APR 2001)
sponsored by www.homestead.com/birdland1
Free copies to Vas ov www.m-u-f-c.co.uk & Barney ov www.rednews.co.uk
INGREDIENTS -
TOILET HUMOUR / IT'S A BOGS LIFE / KIDS EH ! / LIPPY IN THA CHIPPY /
DIS RETRO TING GOTTA STOP / ITS INEVITABLE - WE'LL END UP LIKE OUR
PARENTS / SHEFFIELD STEEL MY AR5E / IT'S A LANDAN FING - INIT /
PITTY CITY
This Barm is dedicated to The Alpine Man - remember Alpine pop anyone ? I think it was
a Liverpool firm but either way they used to deliver
Alpine pop to our houses and they came in 9 million flavours. I think
you got 10p or 5p back on the bottle. We used to order Pinapple-ade,
Lime-ade, American Cream Soda, and Apple-ade. Great stuff - they should bring this
back*.especially if it is a Merseydive firm - you could order off em and then petrol
bomb the trucks with the empties the following week! Acccccccce.
TOILET HUMOUR
Get on this top idea for embarrassing someone at one ov your parties!
Here is the idea. Take the time beforehand to film your empty bathroom and focus on a
flushing toilet. When one of your guests has been to the toilet listen out for em
coming down the stairs - quickly bang on the pre-filmed video and get the rest of the
guests to break into laughter. Result - poor unfortunate guest walks into the room -
clocks the TV and instantly thinks they have just been filmed on the John. Works every
time.
Oh and while you are at it add one of those Ballerina knitted toilet
roll covers to your bathroom and see just which of your mates are honest enough to
point out what a sad f.ucker you are for having one of em.
IT'S A BOGS LIFE
Now here is a morale dilemma for you. Imagine you go to the toilet at
work for an Ertha Kit and you go in trap one and there is no paper. So
you nip into trap two and quietly go about your business of releasing a chocolate
hostage. Your enjoyment is interrupted when a colleague goes into trap one and starts
enjoying a dump themselves. Do you (realising their predicament) knock on and offer
them a couple of sheets of 2 ply or do ya p-ss yourself laughing - wipe your a.rse and
get the hell out of there.
Orrrr*.
Do you take option 2 plus take the remaining bog roll with ya?.
On your conscience be it ! But it sounds like a great idea for a board
game.
KIDS EH !
When I got home from work the other night our George had two school
friends round for tea - as I walked in George went "hello baby David"
(showing off in front of his mates) - then his two mates both said the
same one after the other*. 3 four year olds taking the p-ss out of me
before I've even got my coat off!!! Later on after five a side I couldn't watch Corrie
coz George wouldn't let me coz he was watching The Simpons. I thought you didn't get
all this grief till they were teenagers - Christ!
Now as one of my mates Craig pointed out kids are lucky they have The
Simpsons and not The bloody Sullivans. Arrh that was me mums favourite programme.
Most kids never got past the opening family titles with mischievous girl pulling down
cap of boy in front, and Dad looking a miserable old sod. Basically it was crap -
these people deserved a war.
LIPPY IN THA CHIPPY
A few years back me and a few United fan mates were in the chippy after a Friday night
Sesh. In walks a local guy who is a blue nose - to which there is a fair bit ov
banter exchanged. Now after a bit this blue is getting fed up and pipes up "you
wouldn't slag siddy off like that if my 3 sons were here - I brought em all up as
siddy fans". Now my mates responds with "Can I ask you a question mate ?"**." Don't ya
think you have failed as a father?" Now the chippy erupts in laughter and Berty walks
out muttering under his breathe. No further words need be said except "class".
DIS RETRO TING GOTTA STOP
Best Retro call for a while (in thes total retro times) has gotta be
"Delbert Wilkins" Remember these off The Lenny Henry Show ?
Delbert Wilkins, Joshua "Katanga" Yarlog, Rasta copper, thick bloke from Dudley
characters, Quality - mind you 84 was a very strange year.
Anyway I am off to get on www.ebay.co.uk to see if I can get a pair of
black baseball boots, remember them? **. ankle high pumps/trainers with a piece of
round plastic on the ankle. And maybe a bit of Mr Merlin on an old Beta max tape - Ark
old TV (when will all this stop?)
Well remember Hard Drinking Italamerican lawyer does a sort of more violent Perry
Mason routine in Tucson, Arizona. Lotsa cattle and, of course, the never-get-finished
house he built in the desert during titles. Class programme Petrocelli - class - &
theres a guy near us
like him who has been building his own house for about the past 5 years - bet he get
some grief off his bread knife.
Oh and "Poldark" - or if you rem the old anagram we had at the time it was "OLD KRAP"
I think I 'd better leave this now and say "arh bollocks man" and "Auf Wiedersehen -
PET!
ITS INEVITABLE - WE'LL END UP LIKE OUR PARENTS
Parental sayings **. "Do you want a good hiding?" - to which you'd reply "oh yes
please I'd love one" and then end up getting a smack!
"Who do you think you are ?" to which you'd reply "Elvis" and then end
up getting a smack! "You don't know ya born" - to which you'd reply "oh really" and
then end up getting a smack! "Its like talking to the wall" - to which you'd reply
"talk to the wall
then" and then leg it. Happy days eh - I always rem getting my "a.rse tanned" -
whatever that meant by me mum -in her wooden slip on shoes called Scholes!
And further to this whole lot of ballocks I'd like to add some "things
that kids get you thinking over" Why are all (young) kids obsessed by bin men ? Why
don't ya see good old fashioned graffitti anymore like "Birdy ov Monton" or "Dave 83"
- its all that arty stuff these days - I blame the parents myself! No standards these
days.
Mind you - we made our own fun in them days **. For example
Kick ball hide - "all in all in - can't ya hear me calling - if ya cant you must be
deaf" - just me again them eh ? or when I lived in Salford it was kick can - couldn't
afford a ball. Nicking sports gear off washing lines - ooops - better skip that one.
British Bulldog and Rally-evo. Knock a door run. Post a stink bomb through a
letterbox.
Tiggy off the ground - now that was a proper classic game - if ya tagged someone you
would shout "you're on!" - which became complicated once you got a bit older and
saying "you're on" to a girl became embarrassing. And "If ya stand on a nick you'll
marry a brick and a beetle will come to your wedding"
And "made you look made you stare made the barber cut your hair he cut
it long he cut it short he cut it with a knife and fork" And "Who let Polly out of
prison?" - remains a mystery to this very day.
SHEFFIELD STEEL MY AR5E
Apparently (I heard this from a red mate who is exiled in Steel City)
that "After Time" there is called *** wait for it ***nearly there now ***.."Stoppy
backs"!. How sh-it is that ? Jesus it sounds like something a 10 year old would come
out with - no, no to be honest that's a bit nasty - on the 10 years old! Lenny bleedin
Bennett eh !
IT'S A LANDAN FING - INIT
My mate Guesty pointed this one out and he is spot on i.m.o
Why is it that everyone on East Enders has got their own business yet
they all use the Laundrette. Beats me !
PITTY CITY
Just been announced by MCFC **.new helpline for fans - get on this one * 9 for an
outside line and then ***.08000 839 839
Video of the week - ah well not really video but TV - Cold Feet re-runs on ITV2 Tunes
of the week are - "Riding on a train" by The Pasadenas Sites of the week - YES PLEASE
- Jordan with her fun bags out NO TAR ! Her off "You've Been Framed" in a body
stocking !!!!!!! oh my God!
Anyway - thats me stuffed - wheres them Rennies gone ? (oh and always
read the label)
Que the credits.
Like Paul Weller says in A Town Called Malice "I could go on for hours
and I probably will but" Defoe - laters.
---------------------------------
[14] Short Munich guide
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
Thanks to Derek for sending this in - it's written by a barmaid out there!
'Here is some information about the famous Munich nightlife:
1. There are lots of real pubs in Schwabing, Feilitschzstr.
2. There are lots of "Gaststätten" (thats german pubs) wherever, but I can especially
recommend one: the "egger" in the Hohenzollernstr. where it meets Friedrichstr.. It's
mostly nice because I used to work there - it's just got one big problem: only
Löwenbräu. .
3. After one o'clock the easiest thing to do is to go to the "Kunstpark Ost", that's
an area with lots of places open late, some of them astonishingly nice.
---------------------------------
[13] No hope
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
Joe Royle:
"I have to marvel at their character after that match. I thought we were worthy
winners. We need to win today or else our future would have been bleak. Middlesbrough
have got an incredible result but we can't worry about others. It is nice to hit 30
points and move above Coventry in the table. To be honest I don't think there is much
difference between the clubs from 10th place down. I am not being disrespectful to
Leicester. Our problem was we had our bad run at the wrong time. Let's hope we can get
a good run going until the end of the season. Nothing surprises me in football. We
have to go for it and I will never give up while we have a chance of survival."
---------------------------------
[12] Fergie on winning the league
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
"We were having a nice chat when someone said it was 2-0 to Middlesbrough. It was 2-0
at half-time and I couldn't believe it. It just tells you about the consistency of the
players and their drive and determination. That is why they have done so well in the
Premiership. The first one opened the door for us. It is a great feeling any time you
win it. You get to a stage where you get difficult games and unusual results. Then you
have to maintain a belief in yourself and keep your nerve at important times. I guess
they don't want to give us the trophy next week because they don't want to create any
problems, which is fine by us."
---------------------------------
[11] Dwight Yorke speaks
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
"What can you say about Sir Alex? So much is said about him but you have to give him
credit because to win three championships on the trot just shows how much
determination there is in his life. He is a winner and that spreads through to the
players. We are all here to win things as far as Manchester United is concerned. When
I first joined the club I came here to win things and to win it three years on the
trot reflects very well on the players, management and staff and what a fantastic job
they have all done."
---------------------------------
[10] Edwards on replacing Fergie
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
Our Martin:
"We have top get it right and make sure when Alex goes the person that takes over can
do the job. The players are used to winning things but what we have to make sure is
that they are well managed. There are a number of factors to take into consideration.
You have to look at what you have got now - Alex has a very good number two. We also
have to look at other people - Alex will be involved in that process as well - we have
got to make sure that whoever takes over can do the job. Steve (McClaren) is certainly
one of the candidates and a strong candidate along with whoever else we feel can do
that job. He has done an excellent job as number two and Alex will have a view on that
as well.
We will look in Britain at who is doing well, on the continent at who is doing well
and you have to look within. It's a very big decision and we have to get it right.
Alex has been with us a long time and he's been tremendously successful. It's a very
hard act to follow and it will be a brave man that takes it on - as soon as we begin
next season the process will start."
---------------------------------
[9] Fergie speaks
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
"It's absolute rubbish. Arsenal, Leeds and Liverpool are still very much involved in
the later stages of European competition. So if our league is rubbish what does that
say about Europe? To be honest, though, I can't believe that we were so far in front.
I know we were very consistent indeed before Christmas. But winning this Premiership
is never easy, I can tell you. In the first half of the season we were phenomenal. The
players seemed to believe that they were going to qualify for the later stages of
Europe and so they concentrated on the league. They did their job well."
---------------------------------
[8] Some stats for you
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From the net
* The championship is Ferguson's 14th major honour with United and makes him the most
successful manager in English football. In total he has won seven championships, one
European Cup, four FA Cups, one League Cup and one European Cup Winners' Cup.
* Ferguson was already the most successful manager to have worked in Scotland as he
lifted nine major trophies with Aberdeen.
* Ferguson had been level with Liverpool's legendary former manager Bob Paisley, who
won 13 trophies during his nine-year reign.
* Ferguson has become the first manager ever to win three successive titles.
* The only other teams to have won three successive championships are Huddersfield,
Arsenal and Liverpool.
* The championship is Ferguson's seventh and he has won more titles than any other
manager.
* In total United have won 14 titles and are second in the all-time list, four behind
Liverpool.
* United have also equalled Liverpool's record sequence of seven championships in nine
years, achieved between 1976 and 1984.
* United have won the Premier League in the record-breaking time and they have crossed
the finishing line eight days earlier than last year.
---------------------------------
[7] Very strange that SKY missed that one
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
SKY show all that dross all year round and then when we'll pick up the trophy they
miss out on it - which is why we find it very strange that SKY have skyjacked the
Derby fixture on May 5th and it stands at the unusual time of 3pm, on a Saturday!
They show the two home games before but as yet miss out on the presentation -
presumably the trphy being given before the Derby game that Saturday is so that SKY
Sports Centre can show it live. But strange nonetheless. And great!
---------------------------------
[6] Well overtake you soon
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
Current league title wins
League titles:
18 Liverpool
14 Manchester United
11 Arsenal
It was 18-7 so be very, very afraid Scousers - your day has gone and purs has only
just begun!
---------------------------------
[5] Munich here we come
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
Many of the Red News team are now just about to see off for Munich - where a Red
already there says "it's bloody freezing" (sods law that a mini heatwave is expected
there next week!) but www.rednews.co.uk will continue to provide a roving news service
whilst we're away. Just keep checking as stories may be put up at more unexpected
times but it will keep coming, 24/7. See you out there!
---------------------------------
[4] So where were you when we won it
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
You just had a feeling it woudln't wait as all hpped until the city game and so we won
the league once again without playing. Some talk of anti-climatic feelings but after
we waited so long for one we can't start picking and choosing really can we...and
scenes in scores of pubs packed full of post drinking Reds had their own appeal - the
Red News team were in the Dog, on its last football day - winning the league as the
pub closed down. How apt - we'll have pictures and tales from a mad and barmy
afternoon in the next Red News.
But hopefully the team will be buzzing for Wednesday.
---------------------------------
[3] Irwin off
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
To Sunderland at the end of the season according to two Sunday tabloids. Must be true
then.
---------------------------------
[2] Utd may keep trophy
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
3 in a row with Carling means we may keep the trophy - and they design a new one.
Fergie: "I don't keep count of how many trophies I've won".
---------------------------------
[1] Brilliant match report
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, April 16, 2001 by bar-knee:
Check out more reports from this season in the Features section of the site.
Three in a row - Champions again
Manchester United 4 Coventry 2
Premier League Saturday 14 April 2001
As we were driving home yesterday, listening to the radio, the scores
started to trickle through from the games that were kicking off at the regular
Saturday afternoon time of 3 o clock. Arsenal one down. City one up. Then, before we
could get over the first salvo - Arsenal went two down. And, we felt almost let down.
Then Leicester pulled a goal back against City and the mood changed. Perhaps there
would also be a revival down at Highbury and the Arse would put up a fight - order
would be restored. But nothing of the sort happened. Leicester couldn t even manage
it, and so our dreams of winning the title against Manchester City, whilst condemning
them to relegation, were dashed! We were already Champions by teatime after our game
had finished three hours previous.
We should have felt elated at the score from north London, but it was all a little
anti climactic. It would have been so much better had we been allowed to play our game
against Coventry at the same time as everyone else, so that we could have all been
together at Old Trafford and celebrated properly? Not that it has ultimately detracted
from a fantastic achievement of course. This is the Wizard's 14th major honour, which
makes him the most successful manager in English football. He has won more
Championships than any other manager, and is the first to win three on the bounce. Not
bad then?
It wasn t how we expected the day to unfold as we set off for another early start. We
were due to travel up in the Sausageman s fartmobile, but with three of us over six
foot, it was deemed to small. So he and Salty piled into mine, and with big Rich also
on board, we set off for an easy drive up the M6. I suppose this is the bonus of the
earlier kick-off - a distinct lack of traffic. After a brief stop at Knutsford
services and a close encounter with a small, but vocal group of green curly wig
wearing Bristolians, who resembled Scousers in reverse, we eventually arrived at OT
with plenty of time to spare. As we reached Barney my phone went. It was Lipstick
asking where I was. With Barney I replied. Then loud guffaws alerted me to the joke
- me! And as I turned around there was Lipstick a mere three feet away! Bloody smart
arse!
Back down to at ground we managed to slip past the rather manky pink rabbit who was
accosting anyone who came near, and the usual line of SPS, but got stuck at the
turnstyles. The fellah in front apparently didn t realise he had to tear out the token
from his Season Ticket book and then had to be told to push the bloody turnstyle to
get through! Up top seven lads carried around a Kick racism out of football banner
before the teams came out. But only one of the seven was Black - and he had his head
down and half covered with a woolly hat! Couldn t they have made an effort to find a
mix of lads more reflective of what they were advocating?
United kicked towards us in the first half and the game started at a pace, but despite
most of the action working it s way down to our goal, first blood went to the Sky
Blues, and it woke their fans up to our left. Coventrians are habitually apathetic,
but after Hartson s first, their mood lifted and they actually thought they had a
chance of staying up! We ARE staying up - we are staying up they sang, but not for
long! Less than two minutes later their old foe, who used to wear claret and blue, was
on hand to curtail their optimism. Poor Cov - they were doing so well and now they sat
back and suffered in silence as we celebrated. They had given the ball away in
midfield and it had found it s way to the feet of Yorke who flashed it past Kirkland
who went down like a sack of spuds - a 56lb sack of spuds You ARE going down - you
are going down was the predictable response. And to rub it in even more, You re
going down with City. Or should that have been with two cities a!
s both Manchester and Bradford, as well as Coventry, all seem dooooomed.
But Coventry weren t about to lie down that easily and with another sack of spuds (but
an even bigger one) in the United goal in the shape (and I use the word loosely) of
Andy Goram looking decidedly unconvincing, they were in with a chance. Our main threat
came from Giggs who, despite a verbal lashing from my next door neighbour Chris, was
causing havoc down the United left. He was looking sharp again and just in time for
our own date with destiny in Munich next Wednesday. And it was from one of his mazey
runs that Yorke benefited when he scored our second. It was actually Keane who played
the final ball over the defence for Yorke to collect and place it past Kirkland.
Now the Cov fans feared the worst and sat back waiting for the onslaught while we
celebrated yet again. We sat back as well, content with the inevitable - a massive
victory. But yet again Coventry, and Hartson especially, had different ideas. Johnson
had just had a shot cleared away from the line for a throw-in when the Welshman came
to Cov s rescue yet again. He s always done pretty well at OT and yesterday proved no
different as he caught Wes napping and headed in his, and Coventry s second. Had our
newest (if temporary) recruit not been rooted to the spot, unable to lift his
considerable lardiness off the ground, he may have saved it, but he s no Barthez, that
s for sure!
United were affronted and powered forward, urged by the continuous threats and steely
glares from the captain. A long pass out of defence by Nev found Cole on the right. He
sent over the perfect ball for his soulmate Yorkie who only had to tap it in at the
far post and he would have been leaving with the match ball as a memento of his
hat-trick, except he somehow contrived to miss an absolute sitter from two yards out.
How he missed no-one will ever know - he couldn t believe it himself as he stood there
head in hands. A couple of minutes later with Silvestre again rescuing the pudding in
the United goal, he released the ball to Giggs on the edge of the United area and
within seconds he was turning Quinn inside out and then doing it all over again.
Telfer ran alongside but thought better of any intervention not wanting to suffer the
same ignominious fate as his mate. Giggs finally played the perfect ball to the
normally reliable Scholes in the area and he bolloxed it completel!
y. It would have been a definite contender for goal of the season had it ended up in
the back of the net, but it didn t.
United were rampant and the half ended with Keane flashing a shot just over and
turning to give young Wes a severe roasting! Only he knows for what, but that s the
captain for you! The halftime whistle blew - the old fellah two rows in front got out
his packet of individual pork pies and I disappeared below to meet with the usual
bunch of reprobates.
By the time I got back to my seat the game was already under way. The
pudding, or as he came to be known, the suet duff was between the sticks below us
and looking more like a Teddyboy than anyone I d seen for 40 years. And to complete
the bizarre picture, he had a pair of gloves on that looked reminiscent of those
bloody stupid enormous foam hands people used to wave about in the 80 s. Not a
pleasant sight at all! Good job he didn t have much to do in the second half - that is
until he had to pull those ridiculous gloves off to make way for Raimondo when he was
substituted midway through. It was suggested that it was because he needed to get his
bath over with early as there would be no room for anyone else while he was in it
anyway, but I m sure that s not quite true!
Fergie had probably laid on a barbecue during the break as everyone came out with
singed hair from the heat. Coventry didn t know what hit them. But to be fair they
very nearly survived the unremitting onslaught. Attacking the Stretford End the
pudding was left to his own devices and relaxed against the post musing about the
local nightlife and the only thing he had to do was to clear a Stam pass-back. But
instead of booting it clear, he picked it up. I know it was a dubious pass back, but
nevertheless you don t take chances especially when the ref s not generally seeing
things United s way. I mean, how long has this rule been in existence? He took a
chance and
picked up a pass-back in the penalty area and as the Sky Blues shaped to take the
kick, the United wall was all but on the goal-line. What a bloody farce. Luckily for
the pudding, the ball smashed into the wall and rebounded to safety. It was then that
we saw the welcome sight of Raimondo warming up. At least we d have someone who
resembled an athlete rather than a tub of lard between the sticks for the rest of the
game. Andy Goram may have been a top class keeper in his time, but at 37 he looks as
though he has already got his slippers on.
With half an hour left the Coventry defence were getting desperate. Giggs and Keane
were running them ragged and both should have been awarded free kicks on the edge of
the box, except ref Riley decided not to notice either offense. This angered both the
team and the crowd and with songster Boyle at the helm, United cranked up the volume
on and off the pitch. With twenty minutes to go Becks came on for Nicky Butt. Great
news for Cov - they get battered to death by Butty and when they are all but
exhausted, who should come on but Beckham. It didn t stop the Sky Blue army to our
left though. They were up again and singing their song, While we sing together, we
will
never lose . Well, either they don t sing it often enough or they are sadly deluding
themselves, because it plainly isn t working, or why are they down at the bottom of
the League then?
Meanwhile, despite the uncharacteristic optimism of the Cov fans, their team s goal
was getting a right battering with both Giggs and Cole getting ever closer. It was
beginning to look as though they may hang on to the point though, when Ole started to
warm up. That was just what they wanted to see, and the mere sight of the man
stripping off to his shirt was enough to encourage them to capitulate. No sooner had
he started to make his way down the steps to the pitch than he was making his way back
again. And I d been encouraging Chris to leave as we inevitably score when he goes
early. But he had resolutely remained! In the end it didn t matter as a long
crossfield ball from Nev found Giggs who leapt and headed the ball home from all of
seventeen yards out. A superb, if astonishing goal from someone who d threatened with
his feet all afternoon and then scored with his head.
The Wizard sent Ole on anyway as a last minute partner for Yorkie and with, We ll win
the Football League again and put City down ringing around the ground, the Coventry
fans sat resolved to their fate. But it wasn t over yet. What we couldn t understand,
at the time, was that the lad in front had come over all jittery, and especially at
the introduction of Solskjaer. It came to pass (seasonal reference alert) that he had
placed a bet on the game at 350 to 1 that Hartson would score first and the result
would be 3 - 2 to United. For all of five minutes he was in agony as United went close
time after time. He was £350 the richer for such a short time!
I have never seen a true Red so distraught at a United goal, but when Scholes struck
the fourth he was beside himself with despair. Meanwhile the rest of us were having a
laugh at his expense. Well, he d only lost a pound after all. The goal was typical
Scholes. Becks had found him 25 yards out and he hit a screamer which dipped and
swerved past Kirkland just inside the post. And that was that - United were 16 points
ahead and needing only a single victory to clinch the third Championship in a row.
Well, they would have done if the Arse had beaten Middlesborough as everyone had
assumed they would.
So where were you when United won the League? After I arrived home, with the Arse
already two down, I had been hoping for a revival but when I switched on the TV to get
the results as full-time approached I learned the Arse were 3-0 down and only a
minute away from handing us the Title in rather pathetic fashion. At least I had a
minute to savour the achievement then! Anyway, I wonder if the Bitters will provide a
guard of honour for the newly crowned Champions next week. I do hope so as we really
would be having a laugh.
Copyright Paul Windridge 2001
