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--------------------------------- [20] Di Canio hails 'fantastic' United --------------------------------- Posted Sunday, January 6, 2002 by redend: [Apparently Paolo is on the verge of ejaculation at the prospect of joining Manchester United. I just hope after all this foreplay it doesn't prove to be of the dissapointing premature variety.] A breathless Paolo panted: "Of course, everybody should feel very good when you listen to good words from Sir Alex Ferguson, one of the best managers in the world. We are talking about the best team - alongside Real Madrid in my opinion - in the world. Playing for them has to be fantastic." "You have to be happy because the people recognise the job you do and that you are a talent and a character and a personality for playing at the top level.So this makes me very happy, it gives me a big satisfaction because this has confirmed that - apart from the problem I had with Paul Alcock - I did a great job in England." [So it sounds like United are moistened and legs akimbo ready to receive the Italian Stallion while the Hammers fans will be preparing their traditional "woman scorned" routine a la Ince.] --------------------------------- [19] Sex Survey Story #25431 --------------------------------- Posted Sunday, January 6, 2002 by redend: In a plug for a new BBC2 series (Sex Life, which starts on Sunday at 10pm) a report (i.e. press release) reveals the following "amazing facts" The average UK man has slept with 13 women. A sex survey based on 11,000 people has also found most people have sex once a week. [Presumably this only includes times when at least one other person is involved?] The pub is said to be the best place to meet a lover. A BBC spokesman told the News of the World: "One of the key findings is a marked increase in sexual partners for women due to later marriage and a higher divorce rate." While 80% of women think one night stands are wrong, only 60% of men believe so. [Where are these 20% of enlightened young ladies when you need one on a Saturday night at 3 am as you stagger home with vomit dripping down your sleeve? I think we should be told.] --------------------------------- [18] Bizarre: Madonna & Bernard Manning --------------------------------- Posted Sunday, January 6, 2002 by redend: The Sunday Mirror reports that Madonna has asked "comedian" Bernard Manning to perform at a private party for her husband, Guy Ritchie. She first met the fat get when he cracked jokes about the flat cap she was wearing at the birthday party of chef Marco Pierre White. Bernard says Madonna really enjoyed his performance. [Err, yeah right] His agent confirmed that he is in talks with Madonna to appear at a party later this month. [Could this mean he's left a message on her agents answerphone and then gone to the press with a complete bollocks story to get a bit of cheap publicity?] --------------------------------- [17] Anelka - it's starting already --------------------------------- Posted Sunday, January 6, 2002 by redend: The Sunday Mirror reports Anelka regrets leaving Arsenal "Perhaps, when I look back on the past few years, it would have been easier to have stayed and continued the progress I'd made under Arsene Wenger. It is easy to look back on Arsenal with a great deal of happiness because I had a very understanding coach who played to my strengths." [You mean you don't with Pinocchio & Hoolahoop?] "At the time I was accused of all sorts of things, a great deal that wasn't true." [So at least some of it was then. That's what we like to hear.]
