Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public ok, here's my look on it:So, occasionally I'll have people grab me, but I just say, "Hello, I'm just heading to (insert name of place)." and if they ask for help then I might just say no if I didn't know them if I did i might just say yes because I wanted a chat, and not really pay attention to their guidance at all. I know, kind of rude, but it basically ends with us having a chat anyway. On the someone talking to me slow front, my favourite thing to do is, if I'm in a good mude, just talk normally, but if I'm pissed, spout technological jibberish that doesn't even mean anything but sounds really smart, roflrofl. appaulingly, once at the tech expo, that's a presentation at my local "blindness center" I have no better way to describe it but you know what I mean, there was a blind presenter. There was some random person looking at tech, and whenever the presenter would say something like, "Here's the word processor function," they'd just repeat, "word processor!" in a really slow voice. at first it made me angry but then I just cracked up, grabbed the tech (what did you expect?) and played a game on it. The person left. I heard them proceeding with their routine at another station. just too rofly. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/460185/#p460185 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
2019-09-07
Thread
AudioGames . net Forum — Off-topic room : Muhammad Hajjar via Audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Dark and Jayde, It's a positive perspective you're looking from, so you have a really good point here that I myself would definitely be taking into consideration. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/460156/#p460156 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public I'll illustrate the giving thing with a different example. I remember, before I'd met my lady, I'd had a long train trip back up north. I arrived at about three in the afternoon, and went to the taxi rank to get a taxi. A lady arrived and stood in the kew behind me, with two small children, a baby who was obviously unhappy and fretful, and a boy of about seven or eight. I had very long hair at the time, and the little boy started calling me "lady" in a very monotonous tone, "lady, lady lady" like a bloody police siren. . The mother told him to stop several ties, but when he continued, she simply gave a resigned sigh. She'd obviously been on a long and crowded train with two less than angelic kids, and was clearly at the end of her rope, actually I admired her for not yelling at the kid who was obviously board, and destined to be most annoying.Being about three in the afternoon in a small town, there were literally no taxies at the rank, and we ended up waiting about fifteen minutes, the little squirt got board of repeating "lady" in a sing song voice when I completely ignored him and started running up and down the deserted pavement instead. When a taxi did show up, I stepped back and waved the lady and her kids on first. she said "oh no, you take it." but I told her I'd wait for the next one and that she obviously needed to go. She thanked me, sounding relieved, then called the boy to come and get into the taxi, actually I got the impression that said boy was in for a major and well deserved bollocking . In that instance I was just trying to do a miner good turn for someone who was obviously having a pretty hard time, and I might say baring things far better than a lot of others would (really you get to see some truly abysmal parents on trains). While I wouldn't have been "offended!" had the lady refused to take the first taxi, I will say I was glad I could do something to help. So, when someone offers me something for free, or actually offers me help as a human being who can speak for themselves, I remember that lady. Plus of course, as I've got older, I've realised just how rare truly decent people actually are, and just how many selfish scumbags the world contains, not to mention found, as I think I said in the recent topic about the blind community, that no, being a blind person does! actually mean that a lot of things in life are harder. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/460116/#p460116 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public It's more a situational thing for me.If I found out someone snuck in and paid my tab and they're gone, mostly I'm just grateful. If we're all adults, I can assume they knew what they were doing, and got the warm fuzzies from doing a good deed that day. Hey, maybe one day I'll be at a restaurant and I'll hear a woman and a couple of young children in a booth nearby, and I'll have the means to grab their tab when I leave, so I can pay it forward. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/460057/#p460057 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hi.I see where people are coming from with the free food and there's tuns of it so i shouldn't feel so bad. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/460051/#p460051 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public I had a person in a car once tell me that I could go because the light was red. Despite me stepping back and holding my cane vertically indicating I wasn't going to move she proceeded to try to talk me into crossing. Then not 2 minutes later she says "Well now we're moving.". So what you're telling me is that if I had listened to you I would have gotten hit by you. I don't know why drivers think they are doing you a favor by telling you it is safe to cross. They aren't putting your life on the line. A good experience I had was when I was out in another town for a mobility lesson and a cop stopped explained he was a cop and asked if I needed help crossing the street. When I said no he said that he would be in the area to just call his name if I changed my mind and he left me alone after that. I also highly doubt that sighted people guide each other by holding on to another’s shoulders. They are sighted they have the luxury of being guided without contact. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/460046/#p460046 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public When it comes to free stuff, my stance is mostly like Dark's, honestly.I won't milk it. I won't demand free stuff or try to wring an advantage out of a situation because I can't see. But if someone pays my bill and I wasn't expecting it, I'm humbled and grateful more than angry.Because yes, sometimes it is out of ignorance. But sometimes, people who have the means are saying, "life for those who have disabilities can be unfair sometimes, so here's a break".When I lived in Alaska, I used to do karaoke a lot. The town where I was living, and the restaurant that das hosting, tend to be a place where a lot of wealthy people hang out. Well, my mother, stepfather and I usually went for dinner before I started singing, and on at least two occasions, we were told when we went to pay our bill that someone else, who wanted to remain anonymous, had picked up the tab. In both cases it was well over seventy dollars, as food up there is not particularly cheap. I have no idea who it was, and whether it was the same person twice or a different person each time. But rather than focus on how it was being done because I'm a poor blind person, I thought, "wow, there's someone who is using their means to do something nice".If you give me a choice, though, if you offer to pay for me, and you give me a bad impression, I'm very apt to tell you no. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/460041/#p460041 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public On the subject of getting free things, I would not take money someone offers since I'd feel like a beggar, neither would I demand something for free just because I'm blind.However, on those rare occasions someone gives me something simply as a gesture of kindness, I always remember Stephen Donaldson's maxim, "acceptance honours the giver" To take one example, I'd had an amazingly bad day and decided to ring papa jons for a pizza, I was feeling pretty crappy, and to be honest ordering pizza more because I had no food in the house and dind't want to go shopping more than I actually fancied pizza specifically. The phone was answered by a rather nice Scottish lady. We had a bit of a chat, I asked her if she could please read me the menu since I couldn't read it myself (they didn't have an online menu at this point), and we had a short, pleasant conversation about Pizza. I was trying to decide whether to get a dessert or not, but in the end, asked the lady the price and said, "Oh dear, better not." then, when the pizza arrived a few minutes later the driver handed me the boxes including one extra one. "Fiona said you should have a free cookie!"I suppose I could've argued with the driver, or phoned Pappa Jons and remonstrated with Fiona, but it would've been just plane Churlish. Yes, I strongly suspect she gave me the dessert because I was blind, but in this case it was just simply a kindness. I just told the driver to thank her for me and moved on. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/460022/#p460022 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hi.When it comes to free stuff, I've thought on it and have decided I won't take it anymore.I'd feel bad for the wrest of the peple that have to pay and if they insist, i'd tell them, ok, I'll take it but you must give everyone else free food for the rest of the day. I doubt they'd do that URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459991/#p459991 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hi.I also don't really have any grabbing stories, most times when someone tries to guide me they shout the directions from around 20 meters or wa, at leased it sounds like that. Problem twith that that sometimes their info and directions are wrong and then they really guide me the wrong way. If it goes, turn left, a bit more, no right, oh wait, I ment left this time, I due tend to turn around and give them something along the lines of mmind shutting up now and caring for your own business? Seriously if you can't guide, then don't shout around like a total ideot.I also had this fun thing with free stuff offered to me, someone even offered me 15 euros some years ago and well, i took it, just like the free stuff I was offered. Possibly not the best way to resemble the typical blind guy, but why should I feel bad about this? Free stuf is always good and I do tend to take the offer without really thinking why not.Greetings Moritz. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459989/#p459989 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public So I haven't been grabbed like any way that has been described in this topic (at least, not yet). Usually, when I'm grabbed its usually at the request of myself. For example, my cousin will joke and have fun and he'll "steer" me like he's driving a car (because he's sited) but he would never grab me if I indicated that I didn't require help from him at that time. Usually, people will just ask me if I need help and if I say no, its done. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459984/#p459984 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
2019-09-06
Thread
AudioGames . net Forum — Off-topic room : Muhammad Hajjar via Audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hi there,Regarding free stuff, let me state here that I'm not into getting stuff for free just for the sake of that I'm blind. I mean, what's the relationship or attitude that forces people to gift me things? So why am I unlike others? Is it because I don't see? And what does this have to do with that? Is it out of pity and compassion for the poor blindy? And here exactly is my point. Once I was in a computer accessories shop, when I finished buying what I needed and went to checkout, the seller told me oh no, you can get them for free. I told him and why free? He told me to consider that a gift from the shop. I told him no, I have to pay for what I got, and after a long discussion I was able to pay for the things I bought. Also once I and 2 of my blind friends were in Starbucks, after we finished and wanted to pay the bill we were told that someone had paid it for us and left the place. Not telling you how dissatisfied we were at the time, but at least free drinks right? . This happened again in a café and we were also a group of blind people, and once we also got a free night in a modest hotel from the hotel manager. And btw, I thought that addressing the blind as a child is only a matter in my society for I had met several people who are actually like that. Imagine that once a girl who's only 1 year older than me gave me some cake and dessert saying: Take this love (in a tone that you can consider as if she was addressing a person that's 15 years older than her). Heck, for a moment I thought she does really love me . However, this attitude had a difficult impact on my feelings. I know that this can be interpreted in a number of ways that vary from person to person and from culture to culture, but I won't talk about the extent to which that attitude has affected my feelings and how it has had subsequent consequences. And note that I was 22 at that time, knowing we knew each other but that attitude surprised me a lot and couldn't be explained in my opinion except what I mentioned earlier in my point.And to the main topic, Most grabs I do incounter are preceded by an offer of help. I don't recall any attitudes about sudden grabs that are worth mentioning, yet that happens with me from time to time. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459977/#p459977 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public I have an interesting non-grabbing story but it bears closely on deafness, and matters a little here.My place of work over the summer was downtown, and a lot of transients tend to hang out nearby. One of them, whenever I'd get close to her, would yell "A!" in a rather obnoxious voice. Well she scared the shit out of me the first time she did it, and I jumped. Every time I passed her, she'd do it (or so it seemed, anyway, since it was always from near the same place). I was later told by a coworker that this woman is in a power-chair and tends to frequent that area, and has a sign stating that she needs money and that she's deaf. Before this, I confess that one time when she yelled at me, I stopped dead, whirled on her and said, in a slightly louder-than-normal voice, "Stop yelling at me."Well, my partner happened to see her, described her a bit to me, and I then got the idea to ask my partner, who is sighted and knows some ASL, how to sign a simple message like "please don't shout". My partner described the signs, and the next time the woman shouted at me, I turned to her, made those signs, then kept walking slowly past.She never shouted at me again, and I know she was nearby because I could hear her voice sometimes (she liked to hum to herself, and her chair had a squeaky wheel that was unmistakable).Anyway, I presume that, being hard of hearing, she may have been shouting in order to let me know that she was there; she was a very small woman, and older, and I'm a fairly big dude, as I've attested to before, so she probably just didn't want me to steamroll her. I wouldn't have, but maybe she didn't know that. Either way, when I asked her not to shout, she respected it.Sometimes it does take a little bridge-building. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459913/#p459913 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Here’s how things translate in my head. I know this isn’t what people are saying or intentionally trying to imply, but this is just how my brain is wired.Grabbing me or pushing me along equals you can’t do this because you’re not capable, you need my help, and I’m going to give it to you. Grabbing the tip of my cane equals I am attempting to take complete control over you. Being talked to like a child equals I think of you as either being less of a person or less intelligent simply because you are blind, and I need to use simple words so that you can understand me. Asking me if I want help equals I’m uncertain about the situation and I don’t want to make assumptions about you, so tell me what you would prefer me to do and I will do it So that I may learn how to better assist other blind people in the future. Also, I do have two more situations I’ve been in or I’ve heard about that I’d like to share. Remember the story of my friend getting grabbed in the driveway? Earlier that morning she was going out on an independent route to try to find the commission for the blind building. About 400 feet from the doors, A woman who did not speak English came up and grabbed a hold of her arm. She then proceeded to drag her to the doors of the building, all the while she saying no over and over again and attempting to hold her ground. I know she didn’t speak English, but I also know this. She did speak Spanish, which means that no in English is also no in Spanish. Also, assuming no isn’t a no in another language, she held her ground to try to make sure that she wasn’t going to get dragged. It didn’t matter though, because it happened anyway. The fact that that woman did not know English is not an excuse, because you don’t have to know English to know that when somebody isn’t moving, they don’t want you to move them and you need to stop.I was walking towards Walmart one day, when I heard footsteps behind me. I knew somebody was following me and trying to stay quiet about it, so I turned to look at them to let them know that I knew they were following me. They must’ve known that I knew what they were doing, so they walked in front of me a ways and stopped. I wasn’t sure what they were trying to do, so I kept going. I quickly found out that they had moved forward and stopped because they were trying to intercept me and grab a hold of my hand, and I was able to confirm this when I felt a hand grabbed a hold of me. I pulled away, then they reached out and grabbed me again after I said no thank you. I pulled away and stared straight at them and said, please, don’t. Thank you, but don’t. They stood there for a good five seconds, then walked off. I believe the person may have possibly been deaf, because the only thing they did was grunt. They didn’t say a single word to me, and apparently did not hear me say no the first time. If they were deaf, I heard the deaf community also go through discrimination with people who can hear, so you would think that they wouldn’t do this sort of thing because they know how much it hurts when other people assume things about them. If they weren’t deaf, why would they ignore me when I say no? Regardless if they were deaf or not, why would they try to block off my path so that they could grab me? For a cited person, if somebody tried to block their path, then that would be seen as confrontational. Why should I not see that the same way?If there are any sighted people who are reading this post, I’d like to ask, what goes through the mind of a sighted person when they see a blind person walking around outside with the long white cane? Also, why do people just grab others without asking? Why are assumptions of a blind persons skill level being made rather than questions being asked? URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459904/#p459904 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Precisely that. Also, I wish I could cut into everyone's TV, hulu, sling, netflix, prime video, and whatever else and just air a 30 second PSA about this as it's that much of an issue. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459893/#p459893 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public For me, it's not even about being surprised. It's about assumption.Most sighted people don't feel the need to guide one another. Yes it happens, but it's not common, because it's not needed. It is the exception, not the rule.Unless there's some sort of danger present - actual danger, I mean - every time someone grabs me or puts a hand on me, what they are saying, whether they mean to or not, is "you need my help", and I'm just not okay with that.A lot of it, I believe, boils down to something really simple. Sighted people do not like it when they see people about to crash into things. Look at how many times, for instance, a sighted mother will gasp or look startled or whatever when her toddler is about to run full-tilt into a wall. We try and save children from taking spills where we can because we don't want them getting hurt. And I think there's something reflexive in sighted people assuming that we need help, especially true if we're using a cane and it hits something. Without thinking, they just assume that hitting things = bad, so they want to stop it from happening. Still doesn't make it okay. For the record, I don't like knowing someone's about to trip and fall either, but where others might grab, I am apt to just call out. "Hey, watch your step!" or "Look out!" or whatever.I don't mind those of you who play it cool when you're grabbed or guided or whatever, but please, please do not discount the experiences of the rest of us. I'm not a shit-disturber just because I give people grief when they do what they shouldn't be doing. I'm not expecting them to be geniuses. "Don't touch" is not rocket science, it's common freaking sense here. I will never rip somebody's head off if they ask if I need help, but if they insist on providing help I've already told them I don't need, or simply on furnishing aid that I didn't directly solicit, I'm going to start out by being polite-ish and quickly lose my patience. I'm not your plaything. I'm not your good deed for the day. I'm not here to validate you and make you feel better about poor blind people. I'm not here to make you comfortable; if you don't like that my cane clanged off that light-post or stair-railing, tough; you'll get over it. As long as I'm not directly in your way or otherwise impeding your ability to get from point 1 to point 2 - and I try very hard not to do that - then leave me alone. Give me the respect I deserve. I don't have to earn that respect, I should have it by default. Not speaking up just perpetuates the idea that this behaviour is okay when it isn't. Nope. Not having it. Not buying it. Because even if your gentle hand on my arm is not a mortal offense, it is a problem. I'm going to react to it. And you're hopefully going to walk away having thought a little more deeply about an issue you really should know better about already. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459879/#p459879 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Also bare in mind, sighted people do all this eye contact, none verbal communication stuff, so by the time someone gets into grabbing distance, the grabee has already seen enough of their vbody languages etc to know they aren't a threat. With blind people, there is no communication, no acknowledgement that the person being grabbed actually has feelings, the sighted person literally grabs first asks questions later.This is why as I said, I will always make an effort to be polite to someone who verbally offers help or asks me if I want it, even when the help offered is something rather pointless or irritating, like the time a very nice but completely misguided waitress asked if I was sure I wanted my coffee cup filling to the top since I might spill it . URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459878/#p459878 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public The big difference is that sighted people will end up seeing the other person approaching. We might not notice someone else, or disregard them as unimportant until it's too late, because we're focused in on listening and navigating. So, it is an invasion of personal space, at least to me, because one moment it's clear, the next you're being grabbed up. if you notice someone coming near you, and they're headed right for you, you have all that time to either take some sort of action, or decide not to. We don't get that choice. The person could be waiting for the bus, could be standing at the corner just like us, waiting for the right time to cross; or, as I said, we might not notice or disregard them because we're cued in on our environment ahead and to the side more than behind. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459874/#p459874 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Once my english teacher walked me outside of the my library. She put her hands on my shoulders to guide. I asked why she and a lot of others do that. She said it is how sighted people guide each other. So here's my guess. A lot of sighted people aren't bothered by it, probably because they are not used to being grabbed. So it has become more of an acceptable thing rather than an invasion of space. In other words, socially acceptable, because they aren't constantly being grabbed or asked if they need help.But since we are, we see it as invading personal space, which it most definitely is. For us, it is not socially acceptable. We could either call it socially acceptable and see what impact that has, or we can continue to call it invasion of personal space, which again is definitely true, and what I will personally do. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459867/#p459867 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hi.I honestly try not to let it bother me to much. As long as I can get on with my day, i'm good. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459860/#p459860 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public To the people who are borderline judging everyone else; it's fine if you want to accept this from other people. No one is saying that you shouldn't. At the same time though, you shouldn't be trying to make us out to be the bad guys if we don't like it. The simple truth of the matter is that it is not a socially acceptable way to treat another person. If it was a matter between two sighted people where one came up behind the other and grabbed them, I guarantee that it wouldn't go over well. So if that is the case, why pray tell does it change because the person being grabbed is blind? URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459847/#p459847 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public If someone asks if I need some help, IE treats me like a human being who can answer for themselves, I'll be perfectly polite. I can't say I've been offered many free things, but if someone does again, so long as its a kind offer not an imposition I'll be glad to accept with grace.What irritates me are those people who see me not as a "person" with feelings, but as some strange object they can do what they perceive as good to without caring whether that object has feelings or not, its reducing me effectively to the status of a doll or a pot plant, with about as much ability to answer as either. I admit I am hyper sensative about this sort of thing, since with some notable exceptions such as the lovely lady I'm married to, I really! dislike being grabbed, or shoved, especially if the grab or shove goes into normally space sensitive areas like the ribs, sides of the waste, thighs etc.My lady does not react in quite as extreme a way as I do, but then again, being tiny and female and also far more accepting of others touch she tends to both mind far less, and (with the exception of a creep or two), get far less offensively personal touch from people in the guise of so called "help" as well. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459812/#p459812 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public hey there! Well i know i don't posst quite offten but this toppick got my atention, and so i thought posting a few anecdotes and my opinnion... Though i might ending saying someone just said in another post.Once i were waiting for the bus. I knew perfectly where i was and i knew perfectly what sounds to look for (i've done this a lot of times and i'm going to do this today too). Well all was fine but suddenly someone came in running like hell to my direction! I thought man! This person is going to crash on me! So i decided to move on a bit to let him pass. But he stoped suddenly and asked... Do you need help? I said no and he just went away without saying anithing. Another day i was trying to get across at a busy street. While i was on my way someone grabed my arm and started to walk in the oposite direction. I just told him kindly that i was going to the other way and he decided to help me. In my opinion it depends on the situation, in your personality and if you mind (or not) this behaviour. For me its okay and i try to take this situations with a good mood... But! Sometimes people just exaggerate. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459781/#p459781 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Free food is always something good. As long as it's nice food. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459779/#p459779 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hi.@je97, I'm all for paying it forward, I actually think that's awesome!I mean when I go into a small burger place and they offer me free food.It doesn't bother me now but in the past it did. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459777/#p459777 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public I received orientation and mobility training while I studied for a semester in Germany. I would often go walking to practice the skills I had acquired. One day, I was walking through the same street I'd go everyday, but somebody had put a sterdy net around a building which was being renovated. I had no trouble whatsoever going across that net and so I went on walking. 200 meters away from that, I decided to turn back and go home. While walking back the same street, I could hear the quick steps of a lady who had seen me and had thought I could not pass through the net. I told her it wasn't necesssary to help in this case because I just passed through it on my own. She wouldn't hear but just said no no no no no it's so dangerous son. Take my hand. I did, and we walked together until we passed it. Then I just said thank you and it was over.The strangest and funniest experience is when somebody tries to help you get off the train/bus/metro when you actually have a guide accompanying you. Can't they see that there's a person holding your hand already? I've experienced this alot both in Germany and Albania. In these situations, I just say thank you and have a good day and try to avoid negative reactions as much as possible. Remember that negative reactions could discourage someone to offer help to people like us because they will think everyone will react in the same way. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459775/#p459775 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public @Hurstseth:What about the people who insist on dragging you somewhere you don't want to go? If this was any other situation these people would be glared at by everyone else in the area for invading someones personal space without asking. If someone absolutely wouldn't take no for an answer and somehow managed to drag all 16 stone of me somewhere, I think I would call the police. @Brad:A few times I've had situations in which I've asked for the bill somewhere and been told 'oh no, another table have payed it for you.' I'm like 'thanks very much, free food yay.' Now free dinner is the sort of help I won't turn my nose up at, if someone wants to pay for my dinner I'm always happy to accept the help to my bank account. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459774/#p459774 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hi.@hurstseth405 It's not walking with peple I have a problem with, it's when they try to help me and won't take no for an answer. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459770/#p459770 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public I don't know why you would not want someone to walk with you think of it as a way of meeting people. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459763/#p459763 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hi.@hurstseth405 what about those people that "help" you cross the road when you didn't want to go that way in the first place?Or those that insist on walking with you even when you say no.Or those that give you free food for being blind, oh alright, that's kind of cool. Just kidding, it's wierd. I think one guy tried to offer me a burger for free once for being special... I don't know why he thought I needed a free burger, my bellie's big and I need to loos it.I also got free lamb from a Jamaican place.It's kind of funny, when I ask my parents or aunties, they act like I should be greatful for or say something like "Well, they were probably going to throw it away anyway."Ok, if that's true, fine, but I doubt it.BTW, the lamb was very nice. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459754/#p459754 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Frankly I think you guys are just over reacting I used to be this same way now I just welcome the help it gives me a chance to meet new people and I really don't mind the help. As long as someone isn't coming into my house and telling me how to live that is fine. Sometimes I get this when I'm volunteering but I always say thank you for helping me. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459746/#p459746 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
2019-09-05
Thread
AudioGames . net Forum — Off-topic room : giorgi elbaqidze via Audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public uh i guess i got this topic on wrong way, and post 3 is totally wrong. And well i never had this grabbing experiences yet, but let's see in another time haha URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459739/#p459739 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public There was one very amusing time I actually accepted help from one of the grabbers. I was again rather drunk, but not as drunk as my sighted (and much smaller) boyfriend, as we emerged from a bar. What followed was about a quarter mile of me walking down the street, pretty much carrying my boyfriend as he shouted directions at me: someone took objection to this rather unconventional method of sighted guiding and grabbed my arm. "Do you need any help?" he asked me, in a voice which indicated that I would struggle to understand his words. "Yes," I replied, "If you could help me carry the luggage (i.e. my boyfriend) that would be superb." The guy did end up helping me carry my boyfriend to his accommodation, he stayed and had a drink and he and my bf have been very good friends ever since. Good things can come out of the most annoying situations. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459734/#p459734 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public And for our next topic, how often are you grabbed by people in prison? .Btw, needless to say, my taser suggestion, well wasn't actually a suggestion. Besides, while people grabbing you in public is annoying, can you imagine tripping over all those thrashing bodies? Wow, that would get really irritating! and the screaming, and the puking, and the expulsion of bodily waste, and the constant need to look for charge points, unless Apple have come up with a USb charger for tasers so you power them with your phone . URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459730/#p459730 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public @Zarvox: Hahaha, I love the times when they demand to know where I live, especially given I'm often far away from 'where I live,' and 'where I live' is a pretty subjective question for me because I live in 3 places. A while ago I was at university after a night out, and calmly walking back to the place on campus I was staying...pretty worse for wear after lots of cider I will admit. Some guy walked up to me and asked me 'Do you need help? Where do you live?' and I said 'no, thanks, and I live in Scotland. If I get a hurry on I can get back home before the weekend.' The Scottish border is approx. 250 miles from my university. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459731/#p459731 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public And for our next topic, how often are you grabbed by people in prison? .Btw, needless to say, my taser suggestion, well wasn't actually a suggestion. Besides, while people grabbing you in public is annoying, can you imagine tripping over all those thrashing bodies? Wow, that would get really irritating! and the screaming, and the puking, and the constant need to look for charge points, unless Apple have come up with a USb charger for tasers so you power them with your phone . URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459730/#p459730 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public And for our next topic, how often are you grabbed by people in prison? .Btw, needless to say, my taser suggestion, well wasn't actually a suggestion . URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459730/#p459730 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Zarvox wrote:@11, tasers are legal, in US so I will take that suggestion to heartThat is probably not the best idea, just sayin'. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459711/#p459711 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public @11, tasers are legal, in US so I will take that suggestion to heart URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459707/#p459707 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public I'm told I look pretty confident when I travel. I'm about six feet tall, weigh about 215 pounds, so I'm not tiny and I don't look timid. I don't move tentatively most of the time. I still get it. I'm not sure what the deal is.Oh, this is a fun one.A fw months ago, I was standing outside a bar where I'd been singing karaoke, waiting for my cab to show up. I hadn't been drinking, but pretty soon an intoxicated dude stumbled up to me and started talking about how amazing I was. I hate this sort of attention, so I tried to mostly shrug him off. Well eventually he said something like, "Are you ever curious what people look like? I'm told I'm a good-looking dude.". At which point he proceeded to grab my hand and, quite before I knew what was happening, sort of slapped it against his forehead and then dragged it down over his face. I honestly wish I'd had the presence of mind to tweak his nose or "accidentally" poke him in the eye a little, but all I did was blurt, "Ugh, your forehead is greasy as hell!".He recoiled, I pulled loose, and I told him that most blind people do not, in fact, want folks to do what he'd just done. I told him to never do that without asking again, to me or to anyone. He was suitably apologetic and said he was drunk, but he'd remember not to do that. He still wouldn't fuck off and leave me alone though; I just sort of sidled a few steps away and let him talk on until my taxi showed up.I may've told some of these stories before. But I hate it when my personal bubble gets invaded. I'm not a violent person by nature, and it doesn't straight-up scare me most of the time, but I still have a right to my personal space, and I wish people wouldn't so readily violate it.I did a presentation on working with people with disabilities a few weeks back for the employment agency I was working with, and one of the main things I hit on was that you should always, always ask how you can be of help before just barging in and helping. For anyone, with any disability, ask first. It's no crime to ask, even if the person isn't visibly struggling (though I hit on that too), but just getting into a person's bubble or assuming you know there's a problem is bad. They loved the presentation and said I could probably make something of a living presenting to agencies or even schools if I wanted. Who knows? URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459700/#p459700 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public I have been steared by my cane before, and shoulders once or twice before, but thats when you have to speak up and inform them that you are perfectly capable of crossing the street, or going to where you need to go by yourself. I have been told I look scary by many people; not sure if its because I am a big dark dude so people don't bother to grab a-hold. They just ask if I need help. And its also because I look extremely confident when i am traveling. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459687/#p459687 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Got this one pisses me off and I have it constantly! I admit I might be a bit hyper sensitive about it, since I'm not generally into the idea of being handled by strangers. Take today for example. I'm on my way to my actor's workshop, and decided to stop off at the train station cafe for a cake and a cup of coffee since its been a bloody stressful few days. I sit down at an empty table, I have my shoulder bag over one shoulder containing phone, wallet, victor reader etc, the carrier bag with my cake on my wrist, a plastic cup of coffee in one hand and Reever's harnice handle and lead in the other.I sit down in the chair, put the cup and bag on the table and slip Reever's harnice off and put her lead around my ankle, as I always do, and dump my shoulder bag on the chair next to me. I'm just taking my victor and earbuds out of my bag (I've got 20 minutes, I might as well read some Stephen King), when a random woman swoops in from the next table and seizes my wrist with one hand as though I'm about to down a cup full of nitroglycerine. ""Be careful!" She tells me, reaching one hand down to touch the outside of my thigh. I go utterly stiff, this is getting bloody uncomfortable, physically pull my wrist out of her hand and move rather abruptly away from her."Excuse me" I ask, maintaining enough presence of mind not to say ""get away from me you creep!" The woman takes a step backwards. "well I was only trying to help, you looked as if you were struggling!" How exactly sitting at a table and putting a few things down in preparation to drink some coffee can be interpreted as "struggling" I don't know, but I confess I am stung. "I was just having some coffee" I tell her rather coldly. "well you've got your strap round your ankle" she tells me, clearly under the impression that if a person's eyes do not work, the nerves of their ankles do not work, (bare in mind, my legs are crossed, and said ankle is off the floor, with the thick leather lead wrapped around my calf). "I didn't want you to trip." "that is my dog's lead, it is around my ankle because I put it there, so I know where my dog is." I inform her. She then buggers off, not even apologising for the fact that she pretty clearly invaded my personal space in a way that were our gender's reversed would probably get her a caution at the least. Sometimes, I've thought all blind people should carry a taser for these occasions. Someone grabs you bt! someone barges you in a crowd bt! It'd certainly mean people asked first, grabbed after, and yee gods I get tired of the fact that having none working eyeballs also means I don't have personal space. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459686/#p459686 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Got this one pisses me off and I have it constantly! I admit I might be a bit hyper sensitive about it, since I'm not generally into the idea of being handled by strangers. Take today for example. I'm on my way to my actor's workshop, and decided to stop off at the train station cafe for a cake and a cup of coffee since its been a bloody stressful few days. I sit down at a table, I have my shoulder bag over one shoulder containing phone, wallet, victor reader etc, the carrier bag with my cake on my wrist, a plastic cup of coffee in one hand and Reever's harnice handle and lead in the other.I sit down in the chair, put the cup and bag on the table and slip Reever's harnice off and put her lead around my ankle, as I always do, and dump my shoulder bag on the chair next to me. I'm just taking my victor and earbuds out of my bag (I've got 20 minutes, I might as well read some Stephen King), when a random woman swoops in from the next table and seizes my wrist with one hand as though I'm about to down a cup full of nitroglycerine. ""Be careful!" She tells me, reaching one hand down to touch the outside of my thigh. I go utterly stiff, this is getting bloody uncomfortable, physically pull my wrist out of her hand and move rather abruptly away from her."Excuse me" I ask, maintaining enough presence of mind not to say ""get away from me you creep!" The woman takes a step backwards. "well I was only trying to help, you looked as if you were struggling!" How exactly sitting at a table and putting a few things down in preparation to drink some coffee can be interpreted as "struggling" I don't know, but I confess I am stung. "I was just having some coffee" I tell her rather coldly. "well you've got your strap round your ankle" she tells me, clearly under the impression that if a person's eyes do not work, the nerves of their ankles do not work, (bare in mind, my legs are crossed, and said ankle is off the floor, with the thick leather lead wrapped around my calf). "I didn't want you to trip." "that is my dog's lead, it is around my ankle because I put it there, so I know where my dog is." I inform her. She then buggers off, not even apologising for the fact that she pretty clearly invaded my personal space in a way that were our gender's reversed would probably get her a caution at the least. Sometimes, I've thought all blind people should carry a taser for these occasions. Someone grabs you bt! someone barges you in a crowd bt! It'd certainly mean people asked first, grabbed after, and yee gods I get tired of the fact that having none working eyeballs also means I don't have personal space. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459686/#p459686 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Surprisingly enough, it doesn't happen to me a lot, though I don't go out that much. When I do, I generally get Lyft or Uber to where I'm going, or go with someone else. I haven't really had experiences with the insistent grabbers, but have had people come up to me. I've never had someone grab my cane, it's always me if they do it. I've never been dragged, they just would sort of guide me along. If I find it advantageous, I just let them do it, otherwise I say no thanks and shake them off. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459682/#p459682 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Every time someone comes up to me when I am traveling I always get asked where I live. It takes 3 times of me saying somewhere for them to realize they shouldn’t ask strangers. But since we are strangests not strangers so I guess we have to answer each question 3 times URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459680/#p459680 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public This one is both infuriating and funny.I was walking through a mall once, in order to get to my place of work. Going through the mall was the quickest way there. Anyway, a man I'd never met before came up behind me, put both his hands on both my shoulders and said, "Stop, you're going the wrong way."I replied, "Please take your hands off my shoulders. It's rude. And I know where I'm going."He didn't remove his hands. Said, "I've been watching you. You're going the wrong way."So to break his grip, I twisted really fast, whirled to face him, and then said, rather casually, "Oh, I suppose you might be right. Where am I going? I seem to have forgotten?" By now, I imagine I was wearing a facial _expression_ caught somewhere between a smirk and a snarl.He said, "The wrong way."At which point I shot back, "At this point, do you even know which way the right way is?"He reached out and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Come this way.""The next time you put a hand on me," I said, "I will yell so loud that people within three hundred yards or so will hear. Do it again after that, I call the cops. Just tell me where I'm going.""You want to go out the Bay Street door," he said. "The bus island is that way.""Hmm," I said, and took a step back. "It's just about eight-fifteen in the morning, which means I'm on my way to work. I just came from the bus, in fact. Crossed King at Bay and entered the mall. Now I'm headed in precisely the opposite direction you say I should be going. You say you've been watching me? Did you watch me come through those doors back there?" I gestured with one arm. "If you did see that, then why do you think I want to go back the way I came? And if you didn't, how in the hell can you assume you have any idea of where I'm going?"At that point, I heard applause. Five or six people had apparently stopped to witness the spectacle. In that moment, the stranger who had accosted me must have decided discretion was the better part of valour and turned away. "Not fucking worth it," he said."No," I said, raising my voice a bit. "You don't get to turn away and make this my fault. You walked up, grabbed someone without asking, and assumed you knew where they were going. Now you feel bad because you were made sport of. Get over it. Next time, just ask me, particularly if I look lost. I promise I only make fun of people when they do something really stupid. Have a nice day."And off we went.Another one was much more recent.I was walking toward the edge of a street, not to cross but simply to wait for a cab. I was moving slowly, and as I approached the edge of the street, a woman came pelting out of nowhere, running diagonally at me from behind and shouting, "No no no no you're about to walk into the road!"Without missing a beat I said "No no no no! You're about to run into the road!"She stopped dead and said, "No I wasn't. The road's like four feet in front of us. I can see it.""This is a cane," I said, brandishing it a little. "See how it reaches several feet in front of me?" I tapped the edge of the curb. "This will tell me when I hit the road. Also, hear all those loud vehicles? I do too. You must think I'm able to hear, or you wouldn't have been shrieking your head off just now.""Well you don't have to make me feel stupid," she muttered."No, I guess I don't," I replied, "but you also don't have to panic when you see a man with a cane calmly approaching a road. Truth to tell, your yelling startled me. I didn't need that, any more than you needed being talked to like a child. I'm sorry if you are."To this woman's credit, she laughed and said, "Uh, yeah, I overreacted, I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to get hurt.""Okay," I said. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to make you feel like an idiot. But for future reference, someone using a cane properly will know when stuff is in front of them, and we're trained to listen for traffic and such. I know it may not inspire confidence when someone's waving a stick around like this, but there's method in it. Benefit of the doubt goes a long way. Next time, maybe just ask if I need help crossing, if you think I want to cross or something. Questions are better than assumptions basically every time."And again, off we went.When going to work for thirteen weeks, I probably was grabbed, particularly while crossing the street, up to four or five times per week. Usually it was gentle and accompanied by something like, "Here it's this way" or "you need help?", and if I shook them off or twisted my arm, they'd let go. Usually, anyway. The two examples above are more noteworthy for their drama, and the second one didn't even grab me, though I suspect she might've tried. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459667/#p459667 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public When people grab me or push me I am Stunned and can’t do anything, but I am quick to snap at people when they grab my cane. That is not something I will tolerate no matter what. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459645/#p459645 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public This happened to me all the time in the bus terminal. One time I was walking and I knew that when my cane hits this wall that is when I have to turn. A guy starts yelling out of nowhere LEFT LEFT LEFT. It's like really dude if I listened to him it probably would have thrown me off. At least he didn't grab me but I still felt stupid for ignoring him. I had just gotten off a bus and was walking the right way to the door going into the terminal when this person for no reason grabs me and shoves me through the door. I've experienced this less taking Uber and Lyft as the drivers usually ask me if I need help and respect my answer. I thankfully have never been dragged by my cane. I've heard stories of people that had and that would really piss me off. The problem for me is that once I'm traveling somewhere I'm focused on that so much that if I get pushed or dragged it takes me a moment to register it and by the time I'm pissed off about it they're gone. I'm trying to get better at this so I can say something in the moment but I haven't taken public transportation in a while so it hasn't happened to me recently. I do have the issue of when I ask for help people take my arm or hand and that is easier for me to correct. I would understand someone grabbing me if I was about to step off a train platform or into a busy lane of traffic but that's different. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459642/#p459642 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Reading these experiences is infuriating, but this is the reality a lot of blind people live in. I was grabbed maybe once or twice that I can remember. I was in my university's dining hall, and I was clearly about to hit something with my cane when a worker ran over and tried to stop me from hitting the obstacle, even though that's quite literally what the cane is supposed to do so I know that obstacle is there. In any case, she was older and had that grandmotherly vibe, so it wasn't as bothersome as the other anecdotes here.I had an experience earlier this year where I was standing towards the front of the bus with my guide dog waiting for two or three stops when a woman who was seated approached me and said, "excuse me, you're blocking the way for people to get on and off. Please sit down with your dog and put them under the seat so people can pass by."Now, that might seem harmless, but it isn't her responsibility or prerogative to tell me this. If I truly am in the way, people can say excuse me themselves and then I can move. I don't need the bus police telling me what to do. She never physically touched me, and it's a really good thing - I take personal space and physical touch very seriously, and if she had tried to force me to sit down, we would've had problems.No matter what, though, it's almost like blind people can't ever win in these situations. We have our personal space violated and react out of frustration or even anger, and we're the bad guys for reacting that way. God forbid the world takes a second to reflect on what it does instead of how others react to it. I have a little too much patience at times with people, and I advocate for staying calm, but that mantra can't be expected to work all the time.This is just another facet of life blind people have to deal with, and for some, it's more frequent than others. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459610/#p459610 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public I once had someone kindly offer to take me from the place I'd pre-arranged to meet a friend to a 'more safe location.' I politely declined and he grabbed my shoulder, so I batted his hand away. I told him that I was perfectly fine waiting here on my own, that I would determine if it was safe not him, and that I was waiting for someone. He told me that I was 'in the way' of people and grabbed my arm. I got my phone out of my pocket and told him that if he carried on harassing me and touching me without permission I was going to call the police. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459601/#p459601 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
2019-09-04
Thread
AudioGames . net Forum — Off-topic room : giorgi elbaqidze via Audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public post 2 so they are doing cause for their religion? just meh. Yeah i'm christian, and i love helping eople with my heart, not cause it is good for religion.Yeah, one story was like that: I was getting in a bus, and was going in school. When i'm always in bus, people is looking on me, i meant on my eyes, and that's happening always. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459590/#p459590 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public
Re: How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hi.I've been "guided" by being steared by using my sholders, I can't explain it more than that.I've had a woman ask me if I wanted help crossing the road and when I said no, she said something like "Oh come on, it will help my carma." Yes,, she was religious. She "helped" me across the road and when I told her I said no! she said something like "Ok,, by" and walked off.I was walking to boots, a drug store here in London, when a man comes up to me and asks if I wanted help, when I said no, he followed me anyway and "guided me," pushed me, around the chairs and when I told him that i din't want his help, he said, "I know you don't want this" and when I asked "then why are you doing this?" He said, "because I'm a good Christian." I got to the shop fine.I've had an old man follow me through a shopping mall without me knowing and when I got to the end he said, out of nowhere "you did really good." He made me jump but that's the one time I can say someone truly meant well.This kind of stuff is excepted so much that when you tell people know,, they think you mean yes and when you raise your voice a bit they don't like it but... Do it to them and watch them call the police or something. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459587/#p459587 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
How Often are you Grabbed in Public
How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hello.I have this happen to me all the time in public, and I was kind of curious how much people have to deal with that, and if they can give examples of situations where this is happened. I can list a few examples right off the bat.I was walking to the bus stop and was waiting for my bus. It arrived within a few minutes, and I was getting ready to Get on. A woman came up to me and asked if she could grab my hand when I asked her to help me get to the bus, since it was kind of far away from the curb. I told her that if it was all right with her, I prefer to follow her onto the bus. When I got on, the driver expressed irritation at me, told me I was wasting his time, and that she was only trying to help. Yes, I got chastised by a bus driver for trying to act independently. I had a friend who I was on a travel assignment with, and I was showing her how to get around the block. I let her take the lead so that she could learn how to get around the block herself and not depend on me. She accidentally veered into a driveway, but I was gonna let her figure that out. She ran into a car, and that’s when I heard somebody run up behind me. I heard him run past me and grab a hold of her, and when things like that happens she goes into a state of shock for a few minutes. I intervened and told the man that she was training and that she was learning how to get around independently.Yesterday, I was getting on the bus to head back to work, and I asked if there was a line to get on the bus. The man behind me started talking to me like I was a little child, Grabbed a hold of my shoulder, put his free hand on my back, And pushed me onto the bus. One of my friends stated that there was a slight possibility that he may have been an older gentleman, and was speaking to me in the same way he would speak to his grandkids. However, I could tell this man couldn’t have been any older than 35. Clearly he thought I was slow.I probably have more examples, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head right now. What stories do you guys have? URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459581/#p459581 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
How Often are you Grabbed in Public
How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hello.I have this happen to me all the time in public, and I was kind of curious how much people have to deal with that, and if they can give examples of situations for this is happened. I can list a few examples right off the bat.I was walking to the bus stop and was waiting for my bus. It arrived within a few minutes, and I was getting ready to Get on. A woman came up to me and asked if she could grab my hand when I asked her to help me get to the bus, since it was kind of far away from the curb. I told her that if it was all right with her, I prefer to follow her onto the bus. When I got on, the driver expressed irritation at me, told me I was wasting his time, and that she was only trying to help. Yes, I got chastised by a bus driver for trying to act independently. I had a friend who I was on a travel assignment with, and I was showing her how to get around the block. I let her take the lead so that she could learn how to get around the block herself and not depend on me. She accidentally veered into a driveway, but I was gonna let her figure that out. She ran into a car, and that’s when I heard somebody run up behind me. I heard him run past me and grab a hold of her, and when things like that happens she goes into a state of shock for a few minutes. I intervened and told the man that she was training and that she was learning how to get around independently.Yesterday, I was getting on the bus to head back to work, and I asked if there was a line to get on the bus. The man behind me started talking to me like I was a little child, Grabbed a hold of my shoulder, put his free hand on my back, And pushed me onto the bus. One of my friends stated that there was a slight possibility that he may have been an older gentleman, and was speaking to me in the same way he would speak to his grandkids. However, I could tell this man couldn’t have been any older than 35. Clearly he thought I was slow.I probably have more examples, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head right now. What stories do you guys have? URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459581/#p459581 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
How Often are you Grabbed in Public
How Often are you Grabbed in Public Hello.I have this happen to me all the time in public, and I was kind of curious how much people have to deal with that, and if they can give examples of situations for this is happened. I can list a few examples right off the bat.I was walking to the bus stop and was waiting for my bus. It arrived within a few minutes, and I was getting ready to Get on. A woman came up to me and asked if she could grab my hand when I asked her to help me get to the bus, since it was kind of far away from the curb. I told her that if it was all right with her, I prefer to follow her onto the bus. When I got on, the driver expressed irritation at me, told me I was wasting his time, and that she was only trying to help. Yes, I got chastised by a bus driver for trying to act independently. I had a friend who I was on a travel assignment with, and I was showing her how to get around the block. I let her take the lead so that she could learn how to get around the block herself and not depend on me. She accidentally veered into her driveway, but I was gonna let her figure that out. She ran into a car, and that’s when I heard somebody run up behind me. I heard him run past me and grab a hold of her, and when things like that happens she goes into a state of shock for a few minutes. I intervened and told the man that she was training and that she was learning how to get around independently.Yesterday, I was getting on the bus to head back to work, and I asked if there was a line to get on the bus. The man behind me started talking to me like I was a little child, Grabbed a hold of my shoulder, put his free hand on my back, And pushed me onto the bus. One of my friends stated that there was a slight possibility that he may have been an older gentleman, and was speaking to me in the same way he would speak to his grandkids. However, I could tell this man couldn’t have been any older than 35. Clearly he thought I was slow.I probably have more examples, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head right now. What stories do you guys have? URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/459581/#p459581 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
