Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
Chandra, I am so very sorry about your loss of sweet Buddha. I can only imagine that it's harder being so close to Christmas. Sending strength and prayers your way. tonyachandra simms <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: Michele and all the wonderful members of this group,I am sorry I have not written in a while, but it was avery hard holiday and I haven't really had theemotional strength to post until now. The last time I posted, Buddha was having his bestweek since being diagnosed with lymphoma at thebeginning of December. He was back to his old selfand acting as if he was feeling fine, however fourdays before Christmas he took a serious turn for theworst. The tumor behind his eye quickly began tocause the eye to bulge and protrude out of the socketand the pressure it put on his little brain began toeffect his other neurological functions. Hecompletely lost his appetite, the ability to see ineither eye, and to walk. Although he was conscious,he was fairly catatonic and had pretty much completelychecked-out by that point. We talked to the vet andshe said that there was no getting better from thatpoint and also that the eye would soon either pop outon its own, or we would have to have it removed, whichwe did not want to him to have to go through. So onthe 23rd we made the excruciating decision to help himlet go. My mother lives about 45 minutes away in Denton, so weburied him in the yard at her house and decided tojust spend the week there. Neither Julian or I wereanxious to get home and begin the process of packingaway Buddha's things. Having all the visiting familyin town really helped to provide a slight distraction,especially since I couldn't go much more than fiveminutes without crying for the first 2 days. Although I knew this time would eventually come and Iwas able to gather so much strength from all theadvice and good wishes from this group over the pastmonth, I was completely unprepared for the amount ofgrief I felt. Since he lived so long without anysymptoms I think I was in denial that the day wouldever actually come. I am almost ashamed of how lucky I feel to have hadhim in my life for 14 years, and my heart truly bleedsfor those of you who lost your friends sooner anddidn't have as much time together as we did. I will be forever grateful to all the members of thislist and honestly don't think I could have endured thepain that the last month brought without you. I don't know how to go about it or if it is too late,but I would like for Buddha's name to be added to nextMonday's candle light memorial service. If it isstill possible that is. Could someone please tell me who I should contact forthat.Once again, on behalf of Buddha, Julian and myself, thank you all so much!--- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:> Thinking of him and hoping he is still feeling> better. Please give us an > update when you get a chance. Having been through> the rollercoaster of lymphoma > several times, I really feel for you and Jen, who> has Ewok, and think about > Buddha and Ewok multiple times throughout the day. > I hope he is still > feeling well, but know there are so many ups and> downs. Please let us know how he > is when you get a chance.> Thinking of the two of you,> Michelle> Love is not necessary to life, but it is what makes life worth living.__ Yahoo! DSL Something to write home about. Just $16.99/mo. or less. dsl.yahoo.com
Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
aw, chandra, i'm so sorry. i'm glad that you and julian got to share so much wonderful time with him, and that he was blessed with your love--throughout the good times, and when it mattered so much, at the end of his journey here. GLOW to heal your hearts... thank you for sharing some of his life with us.-- MaryChristineAIM / YAHOO: TenHouseCatsMSN: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ICQ: 289856892
Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
Oh, Chandra...I'm so sorry to hear about Buddha! We're battling lymphoma here, too, and the emotional roller-coaster is really starting to take its toll. I'm ecstatic beyond belief one moment when I can see his old inquisitive, mischievious self in his eyes...and bawling the next when I imagine a future without him. Please know that you are in my thoughts...may Buddha find his way home swiftly... Jen "But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world; You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed..." --Antoine de Saint-Exupéry "If you talk to the animals they will talk with you and you will know each other. If you do not talk to them you will not know them, and what you do not know you will fear. What one fears one destroys." --Chief Dan George - Original Message - From: chandra simms <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Date: Friday, January 6, 2006 11:55 am Subject: Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing? > Michele and all the wonderful members of this group, > > I am sorry I have not written in a while, but it was a > very hard holiday and I haven't really had the > emotional strength to post until now. > > The last time I posted, Buddha was having his best > week since being diagnosed with lymphoma at the > beginning of December. He was back to his old self > and acting as if he was feeling fine, however four > days before Christmas he took a serious turn for the > worst. The tumor behind his eye quickly began to > cause the eye to bulge and protrude out of the socket > and the pressure it put on his little brain began to > effect his other neurological functions. He > completely lost his appetite, the ability to see in > either eye, and to walk. Although he was conscious, > he was fairly catatonic and had pretty much completely > checked-out by that point. We talked to the vet and > she said that there was no getting better from that > point and also that the eye would soon either pop out > on its own, or we would have to have it removed, which > we did not want to him to have to go through. So on > the 23rd we made the excruciating decision to help him > let go. > > My mother lives about 45 minutes away in Denton, so we > buried him in the yard at her house and decided to > just spend the week there. Neither Julian or I were > anxious to get home and begin the process of packing > away Buddha's things. Having all the visiting family > in town really helped to provide a slight distraction, > especially since I couldn't go much more than five > minutes without crying for the first 2 days. > > Although I knew this time would eventually come and I > was able to gather so much strength from all the > advice and good wishes from this group over the past > month, I was completely unprepared for the amount of > grief I felt. Since he lived so long without any > symptoms I think I was in denial that the day would > ever actually come. > > I am almost ashamed of how lucky I feel to have had > him in my life for 14 years, and my heart truly bleeds > for those of you who lost your friends sooner and > didn't have as much time together as we did. > > I will be forever grateful to all the members of this > list and honestly don't think I could have endured the > pain that the last month brought without you. > > I don't know how to go about it or if it is too late, > but I would like for Buddha's name to be added to next > Monday's candle light memorial service. If it is > still possible that is. > Could someone please tell me who I should contact for > that. > > Once again, on behalf of Buddha, Julian and myself, > thank you all so much! > > > > > > > --- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > > > Thinking of him and hoping he is still feeling > > better. Please give us an > > update when you get a chance. Having been through > > the rollercoaster of lymphoma > > several times, I really feel for you and Jen, who > > has Ewok, and think about > > Buddha and Ewok multiple times throughout the day. > > I hope he is still > > feeling well, but know there are so many ups and > > downs. Please let us know how he > > is when you get a chance. > > Thinking of the two of you, > > Michelle > > > > > Love is not necessary to life, but it is what makes life worth living. > > > > __ > Yahoo! DSL ? Something to write home about. > Just $16.99/mo. or less. > dsl.yahoo.com > >
Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
Chandra I am so sorry about Buddha,he was so lucky to be love by the two of you.And for so long,what a lucky guy.He is with my Maizee Grace now.God Bless you and thank you for being a loving furbaby mom. Sherrychandra simms <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: Michele and all the wonderful members of this group,I am sorry I have not written in a while, but it was avery hard holiday and I haven't really had theemotional strength to post until now. The last time I posted, Buddha was having his bestweek since being diagnosed with lymphoma at thebeginning of December. He was back to his old selfand acting as if he was feeling fine, however fourdays before Christmas he took a serious turn for theworst. The tumor behind his eye quickly began tocause the eye to bulge and protrude out of the socketand the pressure it put on his little brain began toeffect his other neurological functions. Hecompletely lost his appetite, the ability to see ineither eye, and to walk. Although he was conscious,he was fairly catatonic and had pretty much completelychecked-out by that point. We talked to the vet andshe said that there was no getting better from thatpoint and also that the eye would soon either pop outon its own, or we would have to have it removed, whichwe did not want to him to have to go through. So onthe 23rd we made the excruciating decision to help himlet go. My mother lives about 45 minutes away in Denton, so weburied him in the yard at her house and decided tojust spend the week there. Neither Julian or I wereanxious to get home and begin the process of packingaway Buddha's things. Having all the visiting familyin town really helped to provide a slight distraction,especially since I couldn't go much more than fiveminutes without crying for the first 2 days. Although I knew this time would eventually come and Iwas able to gather so much strength from all theadvice and good wishes from this group over the pastmonth, I was completely unprepared for the amount ofgrief I felt. Since he lived so long without anysymptoms I think I was in denial that the day wouldever actually come. I am almost ashamed of how lucky I feel to have hadhim in my life for 14 years, and my heart truly bleedsfor those of you who lost your friends sooner anddidn't have as much time together as we did. I will be forever grateful to all the members of thislist and honestly don't think I could have endured thepain that the last month brought without you. I don't know how to go about it or if it is too late,but I would like for Buddha's name to be added to nextMonday's candle light memorial service. If it isstill possible that is. Could someone please tell me who I should contact forthat.Once again, on behalf of Buddha, Julian and myself, thank you all so much!--- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:> Thinking of him and hoping he is still feeling> better. Please give us an > update when you get a chance. Having been through> the rollercoaster of lymphoma > several times, I really feel for you and Jen, who> has Ewok, and think about > Buddha and Ewok multiple times throughout the day. > I hope he is still > feeling well, but know there are so many ups and> downs. Please let us know how he > is when you get a chance.> Thinking of the two of you,> Michelle> Love is not necessary to life, but it is what makes life worth living.__ Yahoo! DSL Something to write home about. Just $16.99/mo. or less. dsl.yahoo.com Yahoo! Photos Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events, holidays, whatever.
Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
You are right. I read Taz's memorial and it was EXACTLY the same thing. The tumor that we couldn't get to shrink was causing a large bump above and behind his left eye. By the end, the bump was half the height of his ear. I am so sorry Taz had to endure the same thing. --- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > Oh my god that sounds like what Taz went through! > I did choose the surgery but he wouldn't wake up > after it was all over. So I > had to let him go as well. > Very devastating for me!!! > (his story below under Pet Memorial) > > In a message dated 1/6/2006 9:55:32 AM Pacific > Standard Time, > [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: > The last time I posted, Buddha was having his best > week since being diagnosed with lymphoma at the > beginning of December. He was back to his old self > and acting as if he was feeling fine, however four > days before Christmas he took a serious turn for the > worst. The tumor behind his eye quickly began to > cause the eye to bulge and protrude out of the > socket > and the pressure it put on his little brain began to > effect his other neurological functions. He > completely lost his appetite, the ability to see in > either eye, and to walk. Although he was conscious, > he was fairly catatonic and had pretty much > completely > checked-out by that point. We talked to the vet and > she said that there was no getting better from that > point and also that the eye would soon either pop > out > on its own, or we would have to have it removed, > which > we did not want to him to have to go through. So on > the 23rd we made the excruciating decision to help > him > let go. > > > > Terrie Mohr > TAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTS > SIAMESE & COLLIE RESCUE > Owner/Driver > Check sites for available Siameses for adoption! > > http://www.tazzys-siameses-collies.petfinder.org/ > > Click Here to Join WASHINGTON SIAMESE RESCUE Yahoo > Group! > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wasiameserescue > > > http://hometown.aol.com/tatorbunz/index.html > > http://hometown.aol.com/tatorbunz/myhomepage/petmemorial.html > > Petfinder.com > Adopt a Homeless Pet! > > http://www.petfinder.com/ > > http://www.felineleukemia.org/ > http://www.petloss.com/ > > TAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTS > https://www.paypal.com/ > > > > http://www.frappr.com/wasiameserescue > Love is not necessary to life, but it is what makes life worth living. __ Yahoo! DSL Something to write home about. Just $16.99/mo. or less. dsl.yahoo.com
Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
Chandra, Your in my thoughts and prayers. I know exactly what your going through. Do let the tears shed. It took me a year before I could open freely and talk about Taz without crying. Take care and Hugs! Terrie MohrTAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTSSIAMESE & COLLIE RESCUEOwner/DriverCheck sites for available Siameses for adoption!http://www.tazzys-siameses-collies.petfinder.org/Click Here to Join WASHINGTON SIAMESE RESCUE Yahoo Group!http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wasiameserescuehttp://hometown.aol.com/tatorbunz/index.htmlhttp://hometown.aol.com/tatorbunz/myhomepage/petmemorial.htmlPetfinder.comAdopt a Homeless Pet!http://www.petfinder.com/http://www.felineleukemia.org/http://www.petloss.com/TAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTShttps://www.paypal.com/http://www.frappr.com/wasiameserescue
Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
Oh my god that sounds like what Taz went through! I did choose the surgery but he wouldn't wake up after it was all over. So I had to let him go as well. Very devastating for me!!! (his story below under Pet Memorial) In a message dated 1/6/2006 9:55:32 AM Pacific Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: The last time I posted, Buddha was having his bestweek since being diagnosed with lymphoma at thebeginning of December. He was back to his old selfand acting as if he was feeling fine, however fourdays before Christmas he took a serious turn for theworst. The tumor behind his eye quickly began tocause the eye to bulge and protrude out of the socketand the pressure it put on his little brain began toeffect his other neurological functions. Hecompletely lost his appetite, the ability to see ineither eye, and to walk. Although he was conscious,he was fairly catatonic and had pretty much completelychecked-out by that point. We talked to the vet andshe said that there was no getting better from thatpoint and also that the eye would soon either pop outon its own, or we would have to have it removed, whichwe did not want to him to have to go through. So onthe 23rd we made the excruciating decision to help himlet go. Terrie MohrTAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTSSIAMESE & COLLIE RESCUEOwner/DriverCheck sites for available Siameses for adoption!http://www.tazzys-siameses-collies.petfinder.org/Click Here to Join WASHINGTON SIAMESE RESCUE Yahoo Group!http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wasiameserescuehttp://hometown.aol.com/tatorbunz/index.htmlhttp://hometown.aol.com/tatorbunz/myhomepage/petmemorial.htmlPetfinder.comAdopt a Homeless Pet!http://www.petfinder.com/http://www.felineleukemia.org/http://www.petloss.com/TAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTShttps://www.paypal.com/http://www.frappr.com/wasiameserescue
RE: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
Oh Chandra, you and Buddha have really been through such a horrendous time. I am so, so sorry. I'm just glad that he had such a devoted mom constantly by his side to love him and care for him and look after his best interests right to the end of his time with you; he knew you would never fail him. It's so painful to let go, but you did the most loving thing possible when there was no hope of his recovery and he was so ill. So many little souls don't have anyone looking out for them. I don't wonder at the grief you're experiencing after 14 years (I still cry for my four, and I was only physically with them for 11-18 months) but I hope the memories of those happy years you had together eventually bring you comfort. (Never feel bad about your 14 years by the way--there is not a person on this list that would wish it otherwise for you--that's the way it's supposed to be.) Thinking of you and Julian at this very sad time, and sending you much love and many hugs. Kerry -Original Message- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of chandra simms Sent: Friday, January 06, 2006 11:55 AM To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Subject: Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing? Michele and all the wonderful members of this group, I am sorry I have not written in a while, but it was a very hard holiday and I haven't really had the emotional strength to post until now. The last time I posted, Buddha was having his best week since being diagnosed with lymphoma at the beginning of December. He was back to his old self and acting as if he was feeling fine, however four days before Christmas he took a serious turn for the worst. The tumor behind his eye quickly began to cause the eye to bulge and protrude out of the socket and the pressure it put on his little brain began to effect his other neurological functions. He completely lost his appetite, the ability to see in either eye, and to walk. Although he was conscious, he was fairly catatonic and had pretty much completely checked-out by that point. We talked to the vet and she said that there was no getting better from that point and also that the eye would soon either pop out on its own, or we would have to have it removed, which we did not want to him to have to go through. So on the 23rd we made the excruciating decision to help him let go. My mother lives about 45 minutes away in Denton, so we buried him in the yard at her house and decided to just spend the week there. Neither Julian or I were anxious to get home and begin the process of packing away Buddha's things. Having all the visiting family in town really helped to provide a slight distraction, especially since I couldn't go much more than five minutes without crying for the first 2 days. Although I knew this time would eventually come and I was able to gather so much strength from all the advice and good wishes from this group over the past month, I was completely unprepared for the amount of grief I felt. Since he lived so long without any symptoms I think I was in denial that the day would ever actually come. I am almost ashamed of how lucky I feel to have had him in my life for 14 years, and my heart truly bleeds for those of you who lost your friends sooner and didn't have as much time together as we did. I will be forever grateful to all the members of this list and honestly don't think I could have endured the pain that the last month brought without you. I don't know how to go about it or if it is too late, but I would like for Buddha's name to be added to next Monday's candle light memorial service. If it is still possible that is. Could someone please tell me who I should contact for that. Once again, on behalf of Buddha, Julian and myself, thank you all so much! --- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > Thinking of him and hoping he is still feeling > better. Please give us an > update when you get a chance. Having been through > the rollercoaster of lymphoma > several times, I really feel for you and Jen, who > has Ewok, and think about > Buddha and Ewok multiple times throughout the day. > I hope he is still > feeling well, but know there are so many ups and > downs. Please let us know how he > is when you get a chance. > Thinking of the two of you, > Michelle > Love is not necessary to life, but it is what makes life worth living. __ Yahoo! DSL - Something to write home about. Just $16.99/mo. or less. dsl.yahoo.com IRS CIRCULAR 230 NOTICE. Any advice expressed above as to tax matters was neither written nor intended by the sender or Mayer, Brown, Rowe & Maw LLP to be used and cannot be used by any taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding tax penalties that may be imposed under U.S. tax law. If any person uses or refers to any such tax advice in
Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
Michele and all the wonderful members of this group, I am sorry I have not written in a while, but it was a very hard holiday and I haven't really had the emotional strength to post until now. The last time I posted, Buddha was having his best week since being diagnosed with lymphoma at the beginning of December. He was back to his old self and acting as if he was feeling fine, however four days before Christmas he took a serious turn for the worst. The tumor behind his eye quickly began to cause the eye to bulge and protrude out of the socket and the pressure it put on his little brain began to effect his other neurological functions. He completely lost his appetite, the ability to see in either eye, and to walk. Although he was conscious, he was fairly catatonic and had pretty much completely checked-out by that point. We talked to the vet and she said that there was no getting better from that point and also that the eye would soon either pop out on its own, or we would have to have it removed, which we did not want to him to have to go through. So on the 23rd we made the excruciating decision to help him let go. My mother lives about 45 minutes away in Denton, so we buried him in the yard at her house and decided to just spend the week there. Neither Julian or I were anxious to get home and begin the process of packing away Buddha's things. Having all the visiting family in town really helped to provide a slight distraction, especially since I couldn't go much more than five minutes without crying for the first 2 days. Although I knew this time would eventually come and I was able to gather so much strength from all the advice and good wishes from this group over the past month, I was completely unprepared for the amount of grief I felt. Since he lived so long without any symptoms I think I was in denial that the day would ever actually come. I am almost ashamed of how lucky I feel to have had him in my life for 14 years, and my heart truly bleeds for those of you who lost your friends sooner and didn't have as much time together as we did. I will be forever grateful to all the members of this list and honestly don't think I could have endured the pain that the last month brought without you. I don't know how to go about it or if it is too late, but I would like for Buddha's name to be added to next Monday's candle light memorial service. If it is still possible that is. Could someone please tell me who I should contact for that. Once again, on behalf of Buddha, Julian and myself, thank you all so much! --- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > Thinking of him and hoping he is still feeling > better. Please give us an > update when you get a chance. Having been through > the rollercoaster of lymphoma > several times, I really feel for you and Jen, who > has Ewok, and think about > Buddha and Ewok multiple times throughout the day. > I hope he is still > feeling well, but know there are so many ups and > downs. Please let us know how he > is when you get a chance. > Thinking of the two of you, > Michelle > Love is not necessary to life, but it is what makes life worth living. __ Yahoo! DSL Something to write home about. Just $16.99/mo. or less. dsl.yahoo.com
Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
Thinking of him and hoping he is still feeling better. Please give us an update when you get a chance. Having been through the rollercoaster of lymphoma several times, I really feel for you and Jen, who has Ewok, and think about Buddha and Ewok multiple times throughout the day. I hope he is still feeling well, but know there are so many ups and downs. Please let us know how he is when you get a chance. Thinking of the two of you, Michelle
Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
In a message dated 12/16/05 4:47:44 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Can vet techs give shotsthat aren't prescribed by the vet, even if I ask forit? Chandra~ I am happy to hear that Buddha is feeling well enough to eat. Sorry to hear is cough came back... As far as techs doing the shots, in the office I worked at, we could do the shots, but they had to be Rx'd by the vet. Perhaps she can contact the vet (emergency #??) while she is out of office and get oral authorization from the vet Usually when vets are out of office, they leave an emergency number where they can be reached. I also feel the steroid shots would be a great help for Buddha right now. And Chandra, I am sure everyone on the list will agree, that when we go thru a crisis with our fur-kids, there is always the second guessing, the what if's. We are all afraid that we might make the "wrong" decision. And, it never gets easier.. I strongly believe that our babies actually help guide us thru these times, with their body language, "looks" from their eyes. We fight for them, and with them. Hopefully, always with their best interests in mind. We all want to do everything and anything to help them feel better. The most difficult part of all this is knowing when to let go.. The most unselfish act of love is letting our babies go peacefully, with dignity & respect. Every situation is different. And, like I said, no matter how many times one goes thru it, it never does get any easier, at least not for me. Just know in your heart that you are doing all you can for your Buddha ~ I also believe that the "connection" between furbaby & human at this time will help "guide" you on this journey. I wish you and Buddha all the best. (And, your husband too - He sounds so supportive, you are very fortunate.) And, as for support, the people on this list ARE the best You will not find a better group of people anywhere. It is always sad when someone finds this list due to a sad situation, Felv is just dreadful, but friendships are formed, support is given, there is always an "open ear", and although we don't always agree, we can "agree to disagree", with the deepest respect for one another. We will always be here for you. Big Hugs to Buddha!! Love, Patti
Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
Chandra, First of all, it is great that he wants the food. What is the liquid food you are feeding him? A full day's food would be about 250 calories for an average sized cat. With most foods this amounts to about 100 cc's per day. But the food you are feeding may be more densely caloric, so the amount he is eating might be enough. It is a lot more than a lot of cats with cancer get into them, anyway. In terms of the shots, a vet would have to prescribe them. It is possible the vet tech could get hold of the vet by phone and get her ok and then give the shots, but you would have to ask her to do that. I would guess that you would not have much luck contacting a new vet with this request, as it is an unusual regimen to begin with and I doubt that a vet who does not normally use it would be willing to do it on your first visit and without having any relationship with you to talk it through. It might be worth a try, though. If you want to try that, I would talk to the vet tech at your vet's office and ask which vet is covering for your vet, as there must be someone, and try that vet. If not, ask that tech for a recommendation for another vet to see. Your vet knows Buddha has cancer and can not expect that you would not need to see a vet for two weeks at the stage he is at, so I can only assume that she left some instructions about this with the tech... In terms of the emotions you are going through, it is, unfortunately, what we all go through. I have stayed up most of the night for weeks checking on sick cats. I second guess everything while it is going on, and then worse after they pass away. What you need to realize is that this disease is going to kill Buddha at some point, hopefully later rather than sooner, but this means that you can not save him. There are things that might extend his life and make him feel better for a while, but you can not save him, in the end. That is the hardest thing to accept, when they are our babies and we provide for them and take care of them and feel like we should just be able to fix everything that is wrong. We can not protect them in the end. This does not mean that you don't have to make decisions, or that the decisions do not ever make a difference in length or quality of life. But it does mean that, whatever decisions we make, we do not have control over the outcome or the ultimate event. I wish we did, but we don't. We can only try to do things, as they come along, that seem most likely to help. The same decision, like using a certain medication, can have good results or bad results. We do not know what the result will be when we make the decision. If the outcome seems good, we applaud ourselves. If it seems bad we ask how we could ever have made that decision. But it was the same decision, whatever the outcome, made with the same level of knowledge and the same good intent. We only have control over the decisions, not their outcomes. If we could know the outcome in advance, they would not be decisions. We would just know what to do. What I am saying may not help you. I know these things, but they do not help me. Right now my Lucy, who has FeLV, seems to have gotten Irritable Bowel Disease, with diarrhea going on 2 months and some weight loss, because of a decision I made to not do surgery right away to remove a bladder stone because I thought the surgery would stress her and possibly trigger her FeLV into lymphoma, and I wanted to see if the stone could be dissolved by diet. If that had worked, I would be really happy I did not rush into surgery as the vet suggested. But because I waited, she had to be on Baytril, a really strong antibiotic, for the month we waited to keep the urinary tract infection from the bladder stone at bay, and I also had to change her diet twice. And she got persistent diarrhea from this that never has gone away, which could eventually lead to intestinal lymphoma, and she had to get the surgery anyway. So it was a terrible decision I made. But only because the stone did not turn out to be one that could dissolve. There was no way to know that. But do I feel guilty? Oh my god, I feel so guilty and question every day why i did not just do the surgery right away like the vet said. But you know what? If I had done that and it had turned out to be the kind that dissolves and she had complications or got lymphoma within months afterwards, I would feel sure I should have waited. With cancer, this catch-22 situation is much worse, because in the end, whenever that is, your baby is going to die from it. So whatever you do, even if it seems to help him in the short-term and makes you both happy now, will make you question yourself in the end at whatever point you can not save him. It is what happens. Some people are stronger emotionally and can get past this feeling quickly, are able to viscerally accept the lack of control over the final event
Re: Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
I would like to take a second and thank you ALL for your loving support and concern for Buddha over these past few days. Honestly, I really don't know if I would have been able to make it through this week without your advice and support. I am so touched by the fact that you really don't know me, and had never even heard of Buddha before Wednesday, yet you have generously taken time out of your life to help us get through this. I don't think I will ever be able to fully express how much it means to me and to Buddha. Yesterday evening he seemed to be doing much better. His nose was a little clearer and he was breathing easier. He seems to like taking the liquid cat food right from the syringe. He licks the syringe as I slowly push the food out, almost like a baby taking a bottle, but not quite. He took about 48-54 cc. over the course of the evening. My wonderful husband volunteered for the night shift so I could try and sleep through the night which was very nice although I still woke up every time Buddha made a noise. I am so thankful that we are both fortunate enough to have very flexible schedules right now. I feel strange saying this, but if this horrible time HAD to come, it couldn't have come at a better time in our lives. My husband runs his business from his home office and I am taking the semester off to finish my thesis, so right now one of us is always here. My husband got him to take quite a bit more food and some water throughout the night last night. Unfortunately, his cough also came back last night, which is very disappointing. He hadn't had a problem with it since the first time we took him to the new vet almost 2 weeks ago, so I was hopeful that it wouldn't be a problem again, at least for a while. We have an appointment to take him in for another fluid injection tomorrow morning so I guess I will see if there is anything else that we can do about the cough. I have thought a lot about what some of you have said, about switching to the stronger steroids, but since my vet is out of town for 2 weeks, I will either have to find another vet willing to give him the shots or see if her vet tech. can do it. Can vet techs give shots that aren't prescribed by the vet, even if I ask for it? No one is in their office today so I can't ask them, so I don't know if I should just try and call around and find another vet that would be willing to give the shots, or wait until I can ask my vet tech if she can do it tomorrow. I guess some of you have gone through, or are going through, this horrible phase of second guessing your every move. I feel so guilty about every decision I make, even if it feels like the right one. I am always worried that I am making the wrong choice and that the consequences for my wrong decisions could be fatal. Does that feeling ever go away? I just feel so lost. We don't have children yet, and Buddha has never been sick a day in his life until a month and a half ago, so I really have no past experiences to draw on. Which I guess brings me back to the first part of this email. I really don't know what I would do without your support. My friends and family are so sweet and they try to be supportive but all they can say is "awww, that is so sad" or "oh, poor little guy." I know they are trying to help, but since they have never really gone through anything like this, they can't help me figure out if what we are doing is right, and what we can do better. grr. It is just so frustrating. --- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > I have been thinking about him all afternoon and > evening. I have been > through what you are going through, and it is hell. > I am hoping he is feeling > better, though realize he may not be. I hope that > you will try the steroid > shots before giving up completely, as they may make > him feel a lot better (if you > can find a vet to give them), but the shots are not > a panacea and will not > cure the cancer. I am so sorry you and he are going > through this. > Michelle > Love is not necessary to life, but it is what makes life worth living. __ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com
Chandra-- how is Buddha doing?
I have been thinking about him all afternoon and evening. I have been through what you are going through, and it is hell. I am hoping he is feeling better, though realize he may not be. I hope that you will try the steroid shots before giving up completely, as they may make him feel a lot better (if you can find a vet to give them), but the shots are not a panacea and will not cure the cancer. I am so sorry you and he are going through this. Michelle
