[JOKES] Re: Druga Obqwa
Tazi obqwa nqma da q komentiram dali e po-ofanzivna ot predishnata, poneje mislq, che si izrazih mnogo iasno mnenieto veche. Samo nqkoilo zabelejki i poveche nqma da zanimawam horata s neprivetlivite si mneniq:: 1. Obqwata drug shegadjiq ne sym q pusnal az w bazar.dir.bg, nito sym q pusnal w [EMAIL PROTECTED],, no shte ti kaja edno - NE BIH q pusnal. 2. Wyprosnata obqwa ne wijdam kakwo obsto ima sys snimkata na Maria 12, koqto, shte me izwinish, ama ne znam kakwo i beshe smeshnoto. 3. Ne wijdam zashto se zaqjdash s MEN za neshto tolkowa ochewidno nepriemlivo, meko kazano, kato postwane na linkowe kym polugoli snimki na maloletni momicheta w jokes list na sirma. 4. Obqwata deto AZ q pusnah w jokes, moje i da e ofanzivna za nqkoi jeni bez chuwstwo za humor, za koeto greshkata e moq i se izwinqwam. Ako iskash da komentirame oshte, prosto mi se obadi, az poweche tuk nqma da pisha. Vozd - Original Message - From: Stanislav Jordanov [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: Ivan Terziev [EMAIL PROTECTED]; Jokes [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 4:51 PM Subject: Druga Obqwa Âîæäå, ìîæåø ëè äà ìè êàæåø ñ êàêâî òàÿ îáÿâà å ïî-îôàíçèâíà îò ïðåäèøíàòà? - Original Message - From: Ivan Terziev [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: Jokes [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 3:54 PM Subject: [JOKES] Obqwa =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] strange hissing noise...
http://www.uq.edu.au/education/extra/all.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] The Perfect Wedding moments
http://www.sirma.bg/jokes/pwm.wmv =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Coca-Cola - kogato ne si dostatychno wisok...:-)
http://www.sirma.bg/jokes/Coke.mpa =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] da se smeesh li, da plachesh li...
http://www.focus-news.net/news/news.php?news=categorynews_id=131485p=0|3c at_id=17 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] brainwashing
attachment: promivaite_si_mozuka_redovno.jpg
[JOKES] Vicove
Ñåäÿò äâàìà ãðóçèíöè - áàùà è ñèí. - Òàòå, îò êàêâè ìàéìóíè ñà ïðîèçëåçëè ðóñíàöèòå? - Îò åäíè ìíîãî çäðàâè è ãëóïàâè ìàéìóíè - Ãàâðèëà ñå íàðè÷àò... - Òàòå, à îò êàêâè ìàéìóíè ñà ïðîèçëåçëè åâðåèòå? - Îò åäíè ìíîãî íàãëè è âðåäíè ìàéìóíè - Àáðàìãóòàíã ñå íàðè÷àò - Òàòå, à îò êàêâè ìàéìóíè ñà ïðîèçëåçëè àðìåíöèòå? - Îò åäíè ìíîãî ìàëêè è ïðîòèâíè ìàéìóíè - Ìàêàêÿí ñå íàðè÷àò... - À íèå, îò êàêâè ìàéìóíè ñìå ïðîèçëåçëè? - Îò åäíè âèñîêè, êðàñèâè, óìíè Øèìïàíèäçå ñå íàðè÷àò... - Òàòå, à ÷óê÷èòå îò êàêâè ìàéìóíè ñà ïðîèçëåçëè... - Îõ, ñèíå, êîëêî ïúòè äà òè ïîâòàðÿì - ïúðâî ñà ñå ïîÿâèëè ÷óê÷èòå, à ïîñëå ìàéìóíèòå Âúðâè ìúæ ïî ïóñòèíÿòà. Äîïèëî ìó ñå âîäà, âäèãíàë ãëàâà íàãîðå è êàçàë: - Ãîñïîäè, êàê ìè ñå ïèå âîäà... Èçâåäíúæ íåáåòî ñå ðàçòâàðÿ è ïðåä íåãî ïàäà åäíà ëîïàòà. Îòãîðå ñå ÷óâà ãëàñ: - Êîïàé!!! ×îâåêúò ïîêîïàë ìàëêî è íàìåðèë âîäà. Íàïèë ñå òîé è êàçàë: - Ãîñïîäè âå÷å íå ñúì æàäåí. Ãëàñ îòãîðå: - Âúðíè ëîïàòàòà! Âúðâè ìúæúò íàòàòúê. Îãëàäíÿë è êàçàë: - Ãîñïîäè, êîëêî ñúì ãëàäåí. Îòãîðå ïàäà ëîïàòà è ãëàñúò êàçâà: - Êîïàé! Êîïàë ìàëêî ÷îâåêúò è íàìåðèë õðàíà. Õàïíàë è êàçàë: - Íàÿäîõ ñå! Ãëàñ îòãîðå: - Âúðíè ëîïàòàòà! Ïðîäúëæèë ÷îâåêúò äà âúðâè è ãî óäàðèë íàãîíúò. Êàçàë: - Ãîñïîäè, êàê ìè ñå ÷óêà! Îòãîðå ïàäà ëîïàòà è îòíîâî ñå ÷óâà ãëàñúò: - Êîïàé! Ïî÷íàë òîé äà êîïàå, êîïàë ÷àñ, êîïàë äâà, ñëåä ïåò ÷àñà êîïàíå ñå èçïðàâèë è êàçàë: - Åãàòè, êàê ñè ãî íà÷óêàõ... Îòãîðå ñå ÷óâà: - Âúðíè ëîïàòàòà!... ×óê÷à ïèøå ïèñìî âêúùè: Çäðàñòè áðàò ìè, ïðèñòèãíàõìå áëàãîïîëó÷íî. Êâàðòèðàòà, â êîÿòî ñå íàñòàíèõìå å ÷óäåñíà, äàæå èìà è ïåðàëíÿ ìàøèíà, ñàìî äåòî ðàáîòè ñòðàííî. Ñëîæèõ àç äðåõèòå â äóïêàòà, äðúïíàõ âúæåòî, ïîòå÷å âîäàòà, à äðåõèòå èç÷åçíàõà íÿêúäå. Âðåìåòî å õóáàâî, çà ïîñëåäíàòà ñåäìèöà ñàìî äâà ïúòè âàëÿ äúæä. Ïúðâèÿò ïúò çà ÷åòèðè, à âòîðèÿ çà òðè äíè. Æåíàòà ÷àêà äåòå, íî íå çíàå îùå - ìîì÷å èëè ìîìè÷å ùå áúäå, òîåñò íå çíàåì ÷è÷î èëè ëåëÿ ùå ñòàâàø. Ìíîãî ïîçäðàâè. Òâîÿò áðàò. P.S. Èñêàõ äà òè ïðàòÿ ìàëêî ïàðè, àìà âå÷å çàëåïèõ ïëèêà.  ðîäèëíèÿ äîì. Íîâîèçëþïåí áàùà ñå óäèâëÿâà: - Ìàé÷èöå... Áëèçíàöè!!! - Íå! Ñàìî åäíî å, - óñïîêîÿâà ãî ñåñòðàòà. - È ñëåäâàùèÿò ïúò äà äîéäåòå òðåçâåí! Øåôúò: - Çàùî çàêúñíÿõòå çà ðàáîòà? Ïîä÷èíåíèÿò: - Êúñíî èçëÿçîõ îò âêúùè - À, çàùî íå èçëÿçîõòå ïî-ðàíî? - Çàùîòî, âå÷å áåøå êúñíî, äà èçëèçàì ïî-ðàíî Äâàìà ïèÿíè ðóñêè ôèëîñîôè ñè ãîâîðÿò. Ïúðâèÿò: - Êàêâî ìèñëèø, ÷å ùå ñòàíå, àêî â Ðóñèÿ èç÷åçíå âñè÷êàòà âîäêà? Âòîðèÿò: -  ïðèðîäàòà íèùî íå èç÷åçâà áåçñëåäíî! Àêî èçâåäíúæ èç÷åçíå âîäêàòà â Ðóñèÿ, çíà÷è, òÿ ùå ñå ïîÿâè íà äðóãî ìÿñòî. Òî÷íî òàì, êúäåòî ñå ïîÿâè òÿ, òàì ùå áúäå è Ðóñèÿ... Êàïèòàí ñòîè íà ÊÏÏ è ïîñðåùà âîéíèöèòå, êîèòî ñå âðúùàò îò îòïóñê. 18.05. Èäâà áîåö. - Ðåäíèê Èâàíîâ, çàêúñíÿâàòå ñ 5 ìèíóòè - Ãîñïîäèí êàïèòàí, òðúãâàì äà ñå ïðèáèðàì, èçïóñêàì àâòîáóñà, êà÷âàì ñå íà òàêñè, òàêñèòî ñå ñ÷óïâà ïî ïúòÿ, ãëåäàì íÿêàêâè êîíå ïàñàò, ñêà÷àì íà åäèíèÿ è íà ãàëîï, èçâåäíúæ êîíÿò ïàäà ìúðòúâ îò èçòîùåíèå, àç ñêà÷àì è íà áåãîì äî òóê... - Áðàâî, Èâàíîâ! Çà âîëÿòà è ìúæåñòâîòî íÿìà äà òå íàêàæà!  òîâà âðåìå êúì ÊÏÏ-òî ñå çàäàâà âòîðè áîåö. - Ðåäíèê Ïåòðîâ, çàùî çàêúñíÿâàòå? - Ãîñïîäèí êàïèòàí, òðúãâàì äà ñå ïðèáèðàì, èçïóñêàì àâòîáóñà, êà÷âàì ñå íà òàêñè, òàêñèòî ñå ñ÷óïâà ïî ïúòÿ, ãëåäàì íÿêàêâè êîíå ïàñàò, ñêà÷àì íà åäèíèÿ è íà ãàëîï, èçâåäíúæ êîíÿò ïàäà ìúðòúâ îò èçòîùåíèå, àç ñêà÷àì è íà áåãîì äî òóê... - Äîáðå, äîáðå, Ïåòðîâ - ìèíàâàé! Èäâà òðåòè âîéíèê. - Ìàðèíîâ, òè çàùî çàêúñíÿâàø îò îòïóñê, áå? - Ãîñïîäèí êàïèòàí, òðúãâàì äà ñå ïðèáèðàì, èçïóñêàì àâòîáóñà, êà÷âàì ñå íà òàêñè - Äà, áå, äà ïîñëå òàêñèòî ñå ñ÷óïâà è òè íà êîíÿ... - Íå, ãîñïîäèí êàïèòàí, òàêñèòî ñè áåøå çäðàâî ïðåç öÿëîòî âðåìå, îáà÷å ïúòÿò áå îñåÿí ñ ìúðòâè êîíå è äîêàòî ñå ïðîìúêíåì ìåæäó òÿõ... Ðàçãîâîð ìåæäó ïîçíàòè: - Òè êàêâî îáè÷àø ïîâå÷å - âèíîòî èëè æåíèòå? - Âñè÷êî çàâèñè îò ãîäèíàòà íà ïðîèçâîäñòâî...  áëàãîòâîðèòåëíà îðãàíèçàöèÿ çàáåëÿçàëè, ÷å èçâåñòåí àäâîêàò íèêîãà íå å äàâàë íèòî åäíà ñòîòèíêà çà áëàãîòâîðèòåëíîñò. Ïðåäñòàâèòåë íà îðãàíèçàöèÿòà ïîñåùàâà àäâîêàòà. - Âàøàòà ïðàêòèêà å òîëêîâà óñïåøíà, ÷å íàâÿðíî ñòå ìóëòèìèëèîíåð. Íå áèõòå ëè ïîæåðòâàëè ìàëêî ïàðè çà áëàãîòâîðèòåëíîñò? - À âèå çíàåòå ëè, - îòãîâàðÿ àäâîêàòúò - ÷å ìàéêà ìè óìèðà îò òåæêà áîëåñò? Ñìåòêèòå é çà ëå÷åíèå ñà àñòðîíîìè÷åñêè, à òÿ å àáñîëþòíà áåäíÿ÷êà. - Î, ïðîñòåòå ìè, àç, ðàçáèðà ñå, íå çíàì çà òîâà... - À âèå çíàåòå ëè, - ïðîäúëæàâà àäâîêàòúò - ÷å ìîÿò áðàò - âåòåðàí îò âîéíàòà, ëåæè ïðèêîâàí êúì ëåãëîòî? À òîé èìà æåíà è øåñò äåöà... - Î, áîæå, ðàçáèðà ñå, ÷å íå çíàåõ... - À âèå çíàåòå ëè, - ïîâèøàâà ãëàñ àäâîêàòúò - ÷å ìúæúò íà ñåñòðà ìè çàãèíà ïðè àâòîìîáèëíà êàòàñòðîôà è îñòàâè ñåñòðà ìè ïîòúíàëà â äúëãîâà ñ òðè ìàëêè äåöà íà ðúöå? - Î, áîæå ìîé, áîæå ìîé, àç... - Òà òàêà, - çàâúðøâà àäâîêàòúò - ñëåä êàòî àç ïðåç öåëèÿ ñè æèâîò íå ñúì èì äàë åäíà ñòîòèíêà, çàùî ñè ìèñëèòå, ÷å ùå äàì íà âàñ...
[JOKES] Definitions...
ARCHITECT: Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an engineer nor gay enough to become a designer.BANKER: Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and takes it back when it starts to rain.BOY SCOUT: A child dressed like an asshole under the leadership of an asshole dressed like a child.CONSULTANT: Someone who uses your wife's watch, tells you the time, and charges you for it.DIPLOMAT: Someone who tells you to go to hell in a way which makes you eager to start the journey.ECONOMIST: An expert who will know tomorrow why that which he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.FRIEND: Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that "Je ne sais quoi" which eliminates any desire to try and sleep with them.PESSIMIST: Optimist with experience.PROGRAMMER: Someone who foxes a problem you didn¹t know you had in a way you don¹t understand.PSYCHOLOGIST: Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive woman enters a room.PRIEST: Someone addressed by everyone as "Father" except his children who call him "uncle".UROLOGIST: Someone who looks at your penis with disdain, touches it with disgust, then charges you as if he'd sucked it.LOVE: Four-letter word, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots.DANCING: The vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.HEADACHE: Method of contraception most widely used by women.INTELLECTUAL: Someone capable of thinking for more than 2 hours about something other than sex.PITIFUL: Someone with an erection who walks into a wall and breaks his nose.TONGUE: Sexual organ which some degenerates use for the purpose of speech.MONOGAMY: Repressed polygamy.NANOSECOND: Fraction of time which occurs between the lights turning green and the car behind honking its horn.NYMPHOMANIAC: Term applied by men to any woman who wants sex more than he does.TEAMWORK: The possibility of putting the blame on others.INTERVIEW: That which can be seen between the interviewee's legs.ETERNITY: Period of time which lasts from when you finished until when you leave her in her house.EASY: Term applied to any woman with the sexual morals of a man.FOOTBALL: That which all women marry without knowing.HARDWARE: The part of the computer which you kick when the software malfunctions.IMPATIENCE: Waiting in a hurry.INDIFFERENCE: Attitude adopted by a woman towards a man in whom she has no interest; interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get".INFLATION: Having to play next years prices on last year's salary.QUANTUM PHYSICS: A black man, looking in the shadows for a black cat which isn't here.
[JOKES] tombstone, cannabis...
[JOKES] oshte malko vicove
Ïúòíèöè ñåäÿò â ñàìîëåòà, ÷àêàò èçëèòàíå, à ñàìîëåòà íå èçëèòà. Îáÿñíÿâàò èì, ÷å ïèëîòèòå íå ñà äîøëè îùå. Íàé-íàêðàÿ ïèëîòèòå ñå çàäàâàò è ïúòíèöèòå óäèâåíè çàáåëÿçâàò, ÷å è äâàìàòà ñà ñëåïè. Åäèíèÿò ïî÷óêâà ñ áàñòóí÷å, à äðóãèÿò âúðâè ñëåä êó÷å-âîäà÷. Ïúòíèöèòå íåäîóìÿâàò. Ïèëîòèòå ñå êà÷âàò â ñàìîëåòà, ïàëÿò äâèãàòåëèòå. Ïúòíèöèòå ñà â ïàíèêà. Ñàìîëåòà èçëèçà íà ïèñòàòà è çàïî÷âà äà íàáèðà ñêîðîñò çà èçëèòàíå. Ïúòíèöèòå ñà â óæàñ. Äî êðàÿ íà ïèñòàòà îñòàâàò 300 ìåòðà, 250, 200, 100 Ïúòíèöèòå êðåùÿò îò óæàñ, à ñàìîëåòà ñå âäèãà ðÿçêî è èçëèòà áëàãîïîëó÷íî.  ïèëîòñêàòà êàáèíà ïèëîòèòå ðàçãîâàðÿò: - Åõ, áðàò÷å, ïðåäñòàâÿø ëè ñè - Òåçè ïúòíèöè åäèí ïúò íÿìà äà ñå ðàçâèêàò è òîãàâà ùå ñå ðàçáèåì!!! __ - How do you do? - All right! Ïðåâîä: - Êàê ãî ïðàâèø? - Âñè÷êî âäÿñíî. Ñóáòèòðè íà ôèëì ___ Äåéâèä Êîïåðôèéëä ïðèñòèãà íà òóðíå â Áúëãàðèÿ.  åäíà îò âå÷åðèòå èçíàñÿ ïðåäñòàâëåíèå íà ìèòíè÷àðè. Ñëåä ïðåäñòàâëåíèåòî ñå ñúáèðàò è çàïî÷âàò äà ïèÿò. Íàðÿçâàò ñå åäíî õóáàâî.  ïîðèâ íà îòêðîâåííîñò Äåéâèä êàçâà íà ñåäÿùèÿ äî íåãî ìèòíè÷àð: - Èñêàø ëè äà òè íàïðàâÿ åäèí ôîêóñ? - Ïîêàçâàé! - Âèæäàø ëè îíÿ âàãîí? - Äà. - Õîï... - âàãîíà ãî íÿìà. Ìèòíè÷àðÿò: - Èñêàø ëè àç äà òè ïîêàæà åäèí ôîêóñ? - Ïîêàçâàé! - Âèæäàø ëè òîÿ âëàê íàòîâàðåí ñ áÿëà òåõíèêà? - Äà. - Õîï! - èçâàæäà ïå÷àòà îò äæîáà ñè è ãî òðÿñâà âúðõó ìèòíè÷åñêàòà äåêëàðàöèÿ... - áóðêàíè ñúñ çåëåí ãðàõ! __ Äàìà âîäè áîëîíêà íà êàèøêà. Íåî÷àêâàíî áîëîíêàòà óõàïâà íÿêàêúâ ìúæ ïî êðàêà. Òîé ñå ñïèðà, ðîâè èçâåñòíî âðåìå â äæîáîâåòå ñè, èçâàæäà åäèí áîíáîí è ãî ïîäàâà íà êó÷åíöåòî. Äàìàòà óäèâåíî âúçêëèêâà: - Àìà òÿ âè óõàïà, à âèå é äàâàòå áîíáîí÷å! - Àìè äà, ðàçáèðà ñå, ÷å ùå é äàì. Èñêàì äà âèäÿ êúäå é å óñòàòàòà è äà é ðàçáèÿ ïîñëå çúáêèòå íà ãàäèíàòà ìðúñíà... ___ Æåíà âúðâè ïî óëèöàòà è âèæäà ìúæ, êîéòî ñå å êà÷èë íà óëè÷íî êàíòàð÷å äà ñå ïðåìåðè. Êîãàòî æåíàòà íàáëèæàâà äî íåãî âèæäà êàê ìúæúò å õâàíàë ñ äâå ðúöå îãðîìíèÿò ñè êîðåì è ãî ïîâäèãà íàãîðå. - Ïè÷, òîâà íÿìà äà òè ïîìîãíå... - åõèäíî îòáåëÿçâà òÿ. - Ðàçáèðà ñå, ÷å ùå ïîìîãíå, êàê èíà÷å äà âèäÿ öèôðèòå íà êàíòàð÷åòî __ =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] vicove
Âúïðîñ êúì ðàäèî Åðåâàí: - Êîãà åäèí ñëåïåö ìîæå äà ïîëó÷è êëàóñòðîôîáèÿ? Îòãîâîð: - Êîãàòî ìó ñëîæèòå áàñòóíà â êîôà. Ïîïèòàëè Ðàäèî Åðåâàí: - Êàêâà å ðàçëèêàòà ìåæäó äèðåêòîðà è ìúæà? - Äèðåêòîðúò çíàå êîé ìó å çàìåñòíèê, à ìúæúò íå.  ñàìîëåòà. Ñòþàðäåñà êàçâà: - Ìîëÿ, âñè÷êè äà çàòåãíàò êîëàíèòå!  ñàëîíà ñå ÷óâà íåäîâîëåí ìúæêè ãëàñ: - Ìîëÿ, áåç ïîëèòèêà! Ñòàðåö ñå îæåíèë çà ìëàäà äåâîéêà. Ñëåä åäíà ãîäèíà ÿ âîäè â áîëíèöàòà äà ðàæäà. - Àìà âèå ìîæåòå! - ó÷óäåí ïèòà äîêòîðà. - Ìîòîðà âèíàãè òðÿáâà äà ðàáîòè! - ãîðäî çàÿâÿâà äÿäêàòà. Ñëåä îùå åäíà ãîäèíà ïàê ÿ âîäè â áîëíèöàòà äà ðàæäà. - Àìà âèå îùå ìîæåòå! - ïàê ñå ÷óäè äîêòîðúò. - Ìîòîðà âèíàãè òðÿáâà äà ðàáîòè! - ïàê ãîðäî îòâðúùà äÿäêàòà. Ñëåä íÿêîëêî ÷àñà äîêòîðúò èçëèçà îò ðîäèëíîòî è ñ äîâîëíà óñìèâêà êàçâà: - Å, äåäåíöå, òðÿáâà äà ñìåíèø ìàñëîòî - ÷åðíî ñå ðîäè! Ïðèÿòåë íà áëîíäèíêà ñëóæèòåëêà â ïîùàòà çàãðèæåíî ÿ ïèòà: - Çíà÷è òè ïî öÿë äåí, öåëè îñåì ÷àñà íåïðåêúñíàòî óäðÿø ïå÷àòè ïî ïèñìàòà. Íå òè ëè ïèñâà, òà òîâà å åäíà èçêëþ÷èòåëíî ìîíîòîííà ðàáîòà... - Ùî äà å ìîíîòîííà, áå. Íàëè âñåêè äåí ñìåíÿì äàòàòà íà ïå÷àòà... Äâà ïðèçðàêà ñå ðàçõîæäàò èç ñòàð çàìúê â íîùòà íà Âñè Ñâåòèè. Èçâåäíúæ, íåùî ïî ñòúëáèòå çàïî÷âà äà ñêúðöà. Åäèíèÿò ïðèçðàê ïîäñêà÷à îò ñòðàõ è ñå ñêðèâà çàä äðóãèÿ. Âòîðèÿò ïðèçðàê ñå îáðúùà, ïîòóïâà ãî ïî ðàìîòî è áëàãî êàçâà: - Ñòèãà, áå! Òè äà íå áè äà âÿðâàø íà âñè÷êèòå òåçè ïðèêàçêè çà æèâèòå?! Ìëàäà, êðàñèâà æåíà ñå ïðèãîòâÿ çà ïðåãëåä ïðè çúáîëåêàð. Ìúæúò é ïèòà: - Êàòî ùå õîäèø íà çúáîëåêàð, çàùî ñè ñìåíÿø è áåëüîòî, ìà? - Ìè, îòêúäå äà ãî çíàì êàêúâ å òîÿ äîêòîð. Àìè àêî å íÿêîé íàõàë... Âúçðàñòíà äâîéêà îòáåëÿçâà ñðåáúðíàòà ñè ñâàòáà. Èçâåäíúæ ñå ïîÿâÿâà åäíà ôåÿ è êàçâà: - Çà òîâà, ÷å ñòå æèâåëè 25 ãîäèíè â ìèð è ñúãëàñèå, àç ñúì ãîòîâà äà âè èçïúëíÿ ïî åäíî æåëàíèå. Æåíàòà: - Êàêâî ëè ìîãà âå÷å äà ñè ïîæåëàÿ À ñåòèõ ñå, öÿë æèâîò ñúì ñè ìå÷òàëà äà ïîïúòóâàì ìàëêî èç ÷óæáèíà, äà ïîïúòåøåñòâàì... Ùðàê...  ðúöåòå é ñå ïîÿâÿâà áèëåò çà îêîëîñâåòñêî ïúòåøåñòâèå. Ìúæúò: - Àç ïúê èñêàì, æåíà ìè äà å ñ 30 ãîäèíè ïî-ìëàäè÷êà îò ìåíå. Ùðàê...è îäúðòÿë ñ 30 ãîäèíè Ìóòðà ñòîè ïðåä îãëåäàëîòî è ìèñëè. Ïî-åäíî âðåìå ïðèÿòåëêàòà ìó âèêà îò êóõíÿòà: - Æîðî, êàôåòî å ãîòîâî. - Äà áå... Æîðî áåøå! - çàðàäâàë ñå òîé. Äâå áëîíäèíêè: - Íàó÷èõ, ÷å ìúæúò ìè ìè èçíåâåðÿâà. Ñåãà ñå ÷óäÿ äàëè äà ìó êàæà? - Çàùî? Òîé è áåç òîâà ñè ãî çíàå. Ïî âðåìå íà ôóòáîëåí ìà÷. Çàïàëÿíêî ñåäè è ïîñòîÿííî ïîâòàðÿ: - 22-ìà èãðà÷è, 10 000 çðèòåëè, òðèìà ñúäèè, äâàìà òðåíüîðè... Ìåæäó äâåòå ïîëóâðåìåíà ñúñåäúò ìó ïî ìÿñòî íà òðèáóíàòà ãî ïèòà: - Àáå, ÷îâå÷å, ïîáúðêà ìå! Çàùî íåïðåêúñíàòî ïîâòàðÿø - 22-ìà èãðà÷è, 10 000 çðèòåëè, òðèìà ñúäèè, äâàìà òðåíüîðè? - Çàùîòî òîëêîâà õîðà èìà â ìîìåíòà íà ñòàäèîíà, à òúïèÿò ãëàðóñ ñå èçñðà òî÷íî íà ìîÿòà ãëàâà... ...Êàê å âúçìîæíî íàøàòà ìëàäåæ äà ñå óâëè÷à ïî õåâè-ìåòúëà è äðóãè óïàäú÷íè çàïàäíè ñòèëîâå è òî êîãàòî íàøàòà Ëèëè Èâàíîâà ïîêîðè öåëèÿ ñâÿò, ßïîíèÿ è íÿêîè äðóãè çàïàäíè ñòðàíè... Êîìñîìîëñêè ñåêðåòàð íà ñúáðàíèå * - Êàêâà å ïðÿêàòà çàâèñèìîñò ìåæäó êðàêàòà è ãúðëîòî? - Êàòî ñè íàìîêðèø êðàêàòà - áîëè òå ãúðëîòî, êàòî ñè íàìîêðèø ãúðëîòî - íå òå äúðæàò êðàêàòà... Ìúæ ñè ïîðú÷âà äâå õàëáè áèðà â áàðà. Âçèìà ãè, îòèâà â òîàëåòíàòà è ñëåä ìàëêî ñå âðúùà ñ ïðàçíè õàëáè. Ïàê ïîðú÷âà, ïàê ãè íîñè â òîàëåòíàòà. Íà ÷åòâúðòèÿ ïúò áàðìàíúò îòèâà äà ïðîâåðè, êàêâî ñòàâà. Ãëåäà ìúæúò èçëèâà áèðàòà â òîàëåòíàòà. Áàðìàíúò: - Ãîñïîäèíå, íå âè ëè õàðåñâà áèðàòà? ×îâåêúò: - Áèðàòà ñè å ñóïåð, àìà íà ìåí ìè ïèñíà äà ñúì ïîñðåäíèê...
[JOKES] 149:0
http://www.focus-news.net/news/news_read_popup.php?layout=0news_id=123202na_chasa=0news=today
[JOKES] An IKEA Ad
http://www.sirma.bg/jokes/ikea-ad.mpg
[JOKES] vicove
Çàáëóäèë ñå åäèí íåãúð â ïóñòèíÿòà. Âúðâÿë, âúðâÿë è èçâåäíúæ íàìåðèë åäíà áóòèëêà. Îòâîðèë ÿ, à îò âúòðå èçëÿçúë åäèí äóõ, êîéòî êàçàë, ÷å ùå ìó èçïúëíè òðè æåëàíèÿ, çàäåòî ãî å îñâîáîäèë Ïîìèñëèë íåãúðúò è êàçàë: - Ïúðâî, èñêàì, äà èìà ìíîãî âîäà, âòîðî äà ñúì áÿë è òðåòî âñè÷êè æåíè, êàòî ìå âèäÿò, äà ñå ñúáëè÷àò. Ïîìèñëèë ìàëêî äóõúò è ãî ïðåâúðíàë â òîàëåòíà ÷èíèÿ. Øåô êúì ïîä÷èíåíèÿ ñè: - Íå ìèñëèòå ëè, ÷å òîâà å ìàëêî ïðåêàëåíî - âå÷å øåñòè ïúò ìè èñêàòå îòïóñêà, çàùîòî äÿäî âè áèë íà ñìúðòíî ëåãëî? - Àìè äà, è àç âå÷å âçåõ äà ñå ÷óäÿ äàëè äÿäî íå ñèìóëèðà... Èç òåëåâèçèîííî èíòåðâþ ñ ïîëèòèê: - ÍÀÒÎ å êàòî çàñòàðÿâàùà æåíà, èñêà äà ñå ïîäìëàäè, ïîñðåäñòâîì ïðèåìàíå íà ìëàäè ÷ëåíîâå... Ìúæ è æåíà ñ ïîò íà ÷åëàòà áóòàò ñâîÿòà êîëà êúì àâòîñåðâèçà. Ìúæúò ìúðìîðè: - Îíÿ, äåòî íè ïðîäàäå òîÿ òàðàëÿñíèê, áåøå ïðàâ ñàìî çà åäíî íåùî... Æåíàòà, ÿäîñàíî: - Çà êîå, áå? - Çà êîå, çà êîå?! Çà òîâà, ÷å òàÿ áàðàêà ïî÷òè íå õàð÷è áåíçèí... - Êîãàòî ó íàñ èçáóõíà ïîæàð, àç ñå âòóðíàõ â ñòàÿòà è èçíåñîõ òúùàòà íà ðúöå... - Íàïúëíî òå ðàçáèðàì, òî â òàêèâà ìîìåíòè ÷îâåê íå ìèñëè... Åäèí èêîíîìèñò çàìèíàë â êîìàíäèðîâêà çà ãðàäà, â êîéòî ïðåäè ìíîãî ãîäèíè å áèë ñòóäåíò. Ðåøèë äà íàâåñòè ñòàðèÿ óíèâåðñèòåò. Ñðåùíàë ñå ñúñ ñòàðèòå ïðåïîäàâàòåëè, ïîãîâîðèëè ñè çà ìíîãî íåùà... Èçâåäíúæ òîé âèæäà íà áþðîòî íà åäèí îò ïðåïîäàâàòåëèòå âúïðîñíèê çà èçïèò. Âçåìà ãî è ãî ïðî÷èòà âíèìàòåëíî, ñëåä êîåòî ñå îáðúùà êúì åäèí îò ïðåïîäàâàòåëèòå è ïèòà: - À, êàêâî ñòàâà, âúïðîñèòå çà èçïèòà ñà ñúùèòå, êàêâèòî áÿõà è ïðåäè äåñåò ãîäèíè? - Âúïðîñèòå ñà ñúùèòå, êîëåãà - ñúãëàñÿâà ñå ïðåïîäàâàòåëÿò. - Îáà÷å îòãîâîðèòå ñà äðóãè... Ëåæàò íà ïîêðèâà äâå êåðåìèäè - ìëàäà è ñòàðà. Ìëàäàòà: - ×è÷î, õàéäå äà ñêî÷èì îò ïîêðèâà! - ×àêàé, áå, ïî-äîáðå äà ïî÷àêàìå íÿêîé ÷îâåê... - Åòî ãî, áå, åòî èäâà åäèí ïî óëèöàòà, õàéäå äà ñêà÷àìå! Ñêà÷àò. Ëåòÿò íàäîëó è ìëàäàòà êåðåìèäà ÿäîñàíî êðåùè: - Åãàñè, òîÿ å ñ êàñêà... - Ìëàäî è çåëåíî ñè îùå, èìàø ìíîãî äà ñå ó÷èø. Ñåãà ùå òè ïîêàæà, êàêâî ñå ïðàâè â òàêèâà ñëó÷àè - óñìèõâà ñå ïîêðîâèòåëñòâåíî ñòàðàòà êåðåìèäà è òèõè÷êî ïîäâèêâà íà ìèíàâàùèÿò îòäîëó ìúæ: - Åé, ïè÷... Äåæóðåí ìàòðîñ äîêëàäâà íà êàïèòàíà íà ïðåçîêåàíñêè òóðèñòè÷åñêè êîðàá: - Ãîñïîäèí êàïèòàí, ðàçðåøåòå äà äîëîæà - èìàìå ïðîáîéíà íà êîðàáà! Êàïèòàíúò: - Êàê ðàçáðàõòå? Ìàòðîñúò: -  ïëóâíèÿ áàñåéí èìà àêóëà! Ñðåùàò ñå äâå áëîíäèíêè: - Ìóöêà, îòêúäå èäâàø? - À, õîäèõ íà ëåêàð, ÷å îò íÿêîëêî äíè ìå áîëè ãëàâàòà íåùî. - È ê`âî ñòàíà ïðè ëåêàðÿ? - Àìè ïðàâèõà ìè ñíèìêà íà ãëàâàòà, àìà íèùî íå îòêðèõà òàì Ìúæ êúì æåíà ñè: - Ñúêðîâèùå, ìîæåø ëè äà èãðàåø íà êðèåíèöà? - Ðàçáèðà ñå, ëþáîâ ìîÿ! - Òîãàâà ìîæå ëè äà ñå ñêðèåø, àìà òàêà, ÷å äà íå ìîãà äà òå íàìåðÿ íèêîãà. Áëîíäèíêà (ó÷óäåíî!): - Àìà èíòåðíåò ðàáîòè ëè â ñúáîòà è íåäåëÿ?!? Ìëàä åâðåèí, êîéòî ó÷è èêîíîìèêà ïèòà áàùà ñè /ñòàð òúðãîâåö/: - Òàòå, åäèí îò âúïðîñèòå ìè çà èçïèòà å: Êàêâî å åòèêà â áèçíåñà?. Áè ëè ìè ðàçÿñíèë òîçè âúïðîñ? - Åòèêà? Òè ìå ïèòàø çà åòèêàòà? Õì... Ùå òè äàì åäèí ïðèìåð: Âëèçà â ìàãàçèíà ìëàäà æåíà è êóïóâà ðîêëÿ çà 80 äîëàðà. Ïëàùà ñ áàíêíîòà îò 100 äîëàðà è âúîäóøåâåíà îò íîâàòà ïîêóïêà, èçëèçà îò ìàãàçèíà, çàáðàâÿéêè äà ñè âçåìå ðåñòîòî îò 20 äîëàðà. Òî÷íî òóê, ñèíêî, âúçíèêâà âúïðîñúò çà åòèêàòà... Äà êàæà ëè çà òîâà íà ñâîÿ ïàðòíüîð èëè íå... Íà óðîê ïî ðóñêè åçèê ó÷èòåëêàòà ïèòà Èâàí÷î: - ß êàæè, êàê óñïÿ äà íàó÷èø ïàäåæèòå â ðóñêèÿ åçèê? - Ãîñïîæî, íàó÷èõ ãè ïî òàòêîâàòà ìåòîäèêà. - È êàêâà å òÿ? - Àìè òàêàâà: - Äåíÿò áåøå ÈÌÅÍÈÒÅËÅÍ. - Âå÷åðòà áåøå ÒÂÎÐÈÒÅËÅÍ. - Àç áÿõ ÏÐÅÄËÎÆÅÍ. - Òÿ áåøå ÄÀÒÅËÅÍ. - Ñåãà íå ñúì ÂÈÍÈÒÅËÅÍ. - Çàùîòî òÿ å ÐÎÄÈÒÅËÅÍ...
[JOKES] Opera baby
http://www.bandituk.com/baby.swf
[JOKES] Fw: women driver - continued
attachment: WomanDri1.jpg
[JOKES] Obqsnenie w lubov
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY COMPUTER. Believe me it is true... You installed the best in me. Your picture is always in my background. You clicked my heart gently. You drive me crazy when I see you. Your love reset my life and deleted all the sadness in me. You restored my kindness after I thought it was corrupted. I'm always connected to you with more than 56 heart beat per second. You hacked my brain and registered your name in it. You are the only one that could navigate my feelings and explore my emotions at the same time. I feel lost when I try to call you and you are not responding. I always feel you close to me when I shut down my eyes, or when I open my windows waiting for you to pass. You are the only one that can log into my heart and never log out. I dream of being your only server as long as I live. You don't have to search for me, cause we are always linked to each others. I see your name everywhere, my frontpage, my homepage and all my software. I scanned my life and found that I'm only infected by you. You are the virus I'd never remove, and why should I do? You formatted my life and added happiness to view. Believe me it is true... I love you more than my CPU!
[JOKES] Studentski zakoni
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20021011T093405Z END:VCARD Íà ñòóäåíòà ìó ñå ñëó÷âà âèíàãè íàé-ëîøîòî I.Çàêîíè çà èçïèòèòå: 1.Âèíàãè ñå ïàäà òîçè âúïðîñ, êîéòî çíàåø íàé-ìàëêî. 2.Àêî ñå ïàäíå âúïðîñ, êîéòî çíàåì, òî ñå îêàçâà ÷å ãî çíàåì íåäîñòàòú÷íî. 3.Êîëêîòî ïî-ãîòèíî å íà ñòóäåíòà ïðåç ñåìåñòúðà, òîëêîâà å ïî-ãàäíà ñåñèÿòà. 4.Âèíàãè, êîãàòî îòèäåø íà ëåêöèÿ ñå îêàçâà ÷å ïðîôåñîðà å áîëåí. 5.À àêî ñëó÷àéíî èìà ëåêöèÿ, òî òÿ å ïðîäúëæåíèå îò ïðåäíàòà, à àêî íå å òàêà, òî ñå îêàçâà ÷å å ñúâñåì ìàëîâàæíà, à àêî íå å ìàëîâàæíà, òî ïðîôåñîðà ìúíêà è íå ñå ÷óâà îò ïîñëåäíèòå ðåäîâå. 6.Âèíàãè ïðåïîðú÷âàíèòå ó÷åáíèöè ëèïñâàò îò áèáëèîòåêàòà. Àêî ãè èìà, òî ïàäàìå íà òî÷íî òåçè, íà êîèòî ñòðàíèöèòå ñà îòêúñíàòè çà ïèùîâè. 7.Âèíàãè îòèâàìå íà äàòàòà çà èçïèò òî÷íî êîãàòî èìà íàé-ìíîãî õîðà íà íåãî. 8.Àêî íÿìà ìíîãî õîðà íà èçïèòà, òî ïðîôåñîðà å ÿäîñàí è êúñà áåçîãëåäíî. 9.Êîëêîòî ïîâå÷å âëà÷èø åäèí èçïèò, òîëêîâà ïî-òðóäíî ñå âçèìà. 10.Âèíàãè â íîùà ïðåäè èçïèòà ñúñåäèòå ïðàâÿò êóïîí. 11.Âèíàãè íà èçïèò ñå îêàçâà, ÷å ñìå ñè çàáðàâèëè ïèñàëêàòà, à àêî ñìå ñè ÿ âçåëè, òî òÿ òî÷íî òîãàâà ñïèðà äà ïèøå. 12.Ïèùîâà, êîéòî íè òðÿáâà âèíàãè íàé-òðóäíî ñå íàìèðà. 13.Ïðîôåñîðà ñå âúðòè îêîëî òåá òî÷íî êîãàòî òðÿáâà äà ïðåïèøåø. 14. åäèí ÷åðòåæ âèíàãè èìà ïðîïóñêè. 15.Ëÿòíàòà ñåñèÿ å âèíàãè èçâúíðåäíî ãîðåùà. 16.Âèíàãè â ïîñëåäíèÿ äåí ñå ðàçáèðà, ÷å ñè ó÷èë ïî ãðåøåí êîíñïåêò. 17.Êóðñîâàòà ðàáîòà íå ìîæå äà ñå îòïå÷àòa íà ïðèíòåð, òî÷íî êîãàòî âñè÷êî å ãîòîâî, à îñòàâàò 12 ÷àñà äî ïðåäàâàíåòî é. 18.Àêî ñòóäåíòèòå ñè èçáèðàò òåìèòå çà êóðñîâèòå ðàáîòè, òî òå èçáèðàò íàé-íåïîäõîäÿùàòà òåìà. 19.Äàòèòå çà èçïèòè ñà âèíàãè íàé-íåóäîáíèòå. 20.Êîïþòúðà ñå ÷óïè òî÷íî êîãàòî òðÿáâà íàé-ìíîãî. II.Çàêîíè çà îáùåæèòèÿòà. 1.Òî÷íî êîãàòî ñå íàòèñêàø ñ ãàäæåòî ñè èäâà ñúêâàðòèðàíòà. 2.Õëåáàðêèòå â òâîéòà ñòàÿ ñå ðàçìíîæàâàò íàé-ìíîãî. 3.Ïðåçåðâàòèâèòå ëèïñâàò òî÷íî êîãàòî âè ñå èñêà íàé-ìíîãî. 4.Àêî íå ëèïñâàò, òî èìà ñàìî åäèí. 5.Âèíàãè â òâîÿòà ñòàÿ òîïëàòà âîäà èäâà ïîñëåäíà. 6.Âèíàãè ñïèðàò òîïëàòà âîäà êîãàòî å íàé-ãîðåùî. 7.Âèíàãè, êîãàòî òè ñå õîäè äî òîàëåòíà ñå îêàçâà ÷å ñúêâàðòèðàíòà òè å â íåÿ. 8.Äîìàêèíêàòà âèíàãè å ãàäíà. 9.Âèíàãè ñúñåäèòå òè ñà ïúëíè íåíîðìàëíèöè. 10.Âèíàãè òå íàñòàíÿâàò ñ àðàáèí, à àêî íå òå íàñòàíÿò ñ àðàáèí îò òðèìàòà æèâååùè â åäíà ñòàÿ ïîíå åäèíÿò å àáñîëþòåí ìèçåðíèê è òúïàê. 11.Ñúêâàðòèðàíòà âèíàãè òè èçÿæäà ïîñëåäíàòà õðàíà. 12.Ñúêâàðòèðàíòèòå âèíàãè ñè õîäÿò âúçìîæíî íàé-ðÿäêî. 13.Çà öÿëîòî ñëåäâàíå ïîíå äâà ïúòè ñà òè ðàçáèâàëè ñòàÿòà. 14.Êîëêîòî ïîâå÷å ñè ÷èñòèø ñòàÿòà, òîëêîâà ïî-ìðúñíà ñòàâà òÿ. 15.Ñúêâàðòèðàíòà âèíàãè ñè ïóñêà íà êàñåòîôîíà ãàäíà ìóçèêà. 16.Ãàäîñòòà íà ìóçèêàòà íà ñúñåäèòå å âèíàãè ïðàâîïðîïîðöèîíàëíà íà äåöèáåëèòå é. 17.Òî÷íî êîãàòî ñè ìèñëèø, ÷å ñè óöåëèë õóáàâà ñòàÿ òîãàâà òå ãîíÿò îò íåÿ. 18.Îò òðèìà ñúêâàðòèðàíòè ïîíå åäèíÿ îò òÿõ õúðêà êàòî äúñêîðåçíèöà. 19.Êðóøêèòå â ñòàÿòà ãîðÿò òî÷íî êîãàòî ñè ñâúðøèë ïàðèòå. 20.Òîïëàòà âîäà èäâà ÷àê êîãàòî ñè ñå èçêúïàë ñúñ ñòóäåíà. 21.Îò âñè÷êè ñòúêëà ïîíå åäíî å ñ÷óïåíî. III.Çàêîíè çà êîëåãèòå. 1.Òâîèòå êîëåæêè ñà âèíàãè íàé-ãðîçíè. 2.Òâîèòå êîëåæêè ñà âèíàãè íàé-òúïè. 3.Îò âñè÷êè êîëåãè ïîíå åäèí îò òÿõ å íåïîâòîðèì òúïàê. 4.Îò âñè÷êè êîëåãè ïîíå åäèí îò òÿõ å áåçïîäîáåí çóáúð. 5.Îáèêíîâåíî êîëåãàòà îò ò.3. è ò.4 ñúâïàäà. 6.Òîëêîâà êîëêîòî ïî-òúïà å åäíà êîëåæêà, òîêëîâà ïîâå÷å ñå ïúíå äà ó÷è. 7.Íà èçïèò âèíàãè ñÿäàø äî òîçè êîëåãà (êîëåæêà), êîÿòî çíàå íàé-ìàëêî îò âñè÷êè îñòàíàëè. 8.Íà ëåêöèè íàé-òúïèÿ êîëåãà (êîëåæêà) âèíàãè çàäàâà íàé-ìíîãî âúïðîñè. 9.Òúïîòàòà íà âúïðîñèòå çàäàâàíè îò ñòóäåíòèòå å ïðàâîïðîïîðöèîíàëíà íà òÿõíîòî êîëè÷åñòâî. 10.Àêî íåùî ñå ãëàñóâà (íàïèìåð äàòà íà èçïèòà) âñå èìà íÿêîé, êîéòî äà å ïðîòèâ. 11.Âèíàãè èìà íÿêîé íåäîâîëåí îò ïðîôåñîðà. IV.Çàêîíè çà ñòóäåíñêèÿ ñòîë. 1.Õðàíàòà â ñòîëà å âèíàãè ãàäíà. 2.Àêî õðàíàòà íå å ãàäíà, òî òÿ å ìàëêî. 3. ñòîëà êþôòåòàòà (øíèöåëèòå, êåáàï÷åòàòà) ñà âèíàãè ìàëêè. 4.Äàæå è ïîñðåä ëÿòî ãàðíèòóðàòà â ñòîëà ñå ñúñòîè îò òðóøèÿ. 5.Êîëè÷åñòâîòî íà áîáåíèòå çúðíà â ÷îðáàòà å îáðàòíîïðîïîðöèîíàëíî íà ãëàäà íà ñòóäåíòà. 6.Õëÿáà â ñòîëà å âèíàãè îò ìèíàëàòà ñåäìèöà. 7. ñòîëà âèíàãè èìà òîâà, êîåòî òè ñå ÿäå íàé-ìàëêî. 8.Äàæå è ïðåç ëÿòîòî çà
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Wtoriqt komentar pod statiqta... http://www.segabg.com/08102002/p0010003.asp BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20021008T093644Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] ...
http://netinfo.bg/?tid=40oid=381417 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20021007T145850Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] vaccine.jpg
attachment: vaccine.jpg
Re: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$
???za 4-ti pyt?? nali uj beshe 3 za shtastie, ili na discworld e 4?:-) - Original Message - From: Boyan Konstantinov To: Jokes@Sirma Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2002 5:01 PM Subject: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ :)Message box na Internet Exploder pri p#len sriv:
[JOKES] two of a kind
Dvama piqnici sedqw w krychmata i si prikazwat. - Ponqkoga syjalqwam, che maika mi ne me e rodila s dwe glawi... - s tyga kazwa ediniqt. - Shto be?? Kakwo shteshe da prawish s wtorata? Shteshe da piesh dwa pyti poweche li? - pita wtoriqt. - Ne be!! Ako imah dwe glawi, wednaga sled rajdaneto mi shtqha da me slojat w burkan sys spirt... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Punk's Not Dead!
http://forum.abv.bg/cgi-bin/showpost.pl?Board=softwareNumber=1621page=0view=collapsedmode=flatsb=5 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020912T083903Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Stari, no zlatni:-)
=?utf-8?B?0JHQuNGB0LXRgNGH0LXRgtCwLmRvYw==?= Description: MS-Word document
[JOKES] ot Novinar
ßâèëà ñå äîáðàòà ôåÿ íà åäèí ïðîãðàìèñò, êîéòî íå áèë âèæäàë æåíà îò ãîäèíè. Ðåøèëà äà ãî èçïèòà: - Êàæè, ÷îâå÷å, êàêâî èçáèðàø - åäíà íîù ñ Ïàìåëà Àíäåðñúí èëè åäèí ëàïòîï? Ïîòåêëè ìó ëèãèòå íà ÷îâåêà, ïðåäñòàâèë ñè ÿ ãîëà â ëåãëîòî, âñè÷êè åêñòðè... Òúêìî ïîíå÷èë äà îòãîâîðè áåç êîëåáàíèå è äÿâîë÷åòî ìèíàëî ïðåç óìíàòà ìó ãëàâèöà: - À êàêâà êîíôèãóðàöèÿ áåøå êîìïþòúðúò?
[JOKES] Lessons from history
Some lessons from history Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be... Here are some facts about the 1500s: Most people got married in June because they took their yearlybath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were startingto smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. == Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children last of all the babies.By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it--hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." == Houses had thatched roofs--thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice rats, and bugs) lived in the roof.When it rained it became slippery, and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof--hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs." == There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. == The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other thandirt, hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that wouldget slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more; thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway --hence, a "thresh hold." == People cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hungover the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and thenstart over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a whilehence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." == Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cutoff a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat." == Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leak onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. == Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made from stale pays and bread, which was so old and hard that they could use them for quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worm and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, moldytrenchers, one would get "trench mouth." == Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burntbottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust." == Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gatheraround and eat and drink and wait to see if they would wake up--hence, the customof holding a "wake." == England is old and small and they started out running out ofplaces to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When re-opening these coffins, 1 outof 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had
[JOKES] ...
attachment: ms249.jpg
Re: [JOKES] FW: Dogovorut na pravitelstvoto s Microsoft
Title: Dogovorut na pravitelstvoto s Microsoft Wikash - ebaniq hem eban, hem pak da go duha??!:))) Ili kazano po-dobre - ebaniq be eban, no za smetka na towa shte go duha:)) - Original Message - From: Nikolai To: Atanas Kiryakov ; [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Monday, May 20, 2002 6:04 PM Subject: RE: [JOKES] FW: Dogovorut na pravitelstvoto s Microsoft Nase - skandal edva li ste se zaformi - ste stanebitiq bit, ebaniq da go duha :(( Koko -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]On Behalf Of Atanas KiryakovSent: Monday, May 20, 2002 6:01 PMTo: [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: RE: [JOKES] FW: Dogovorut na pravitelstvoto s Microsoft Md hubav skandal se zaformja ---Atanas Kiryakov, http://www.sirma.bg/ak.htmHead of OntoText Lab., http://www.ontotext.comSirma AI, Ltd. - Artificial Intelligence LabsPhone: (359 2) 981 23 38, http://www.sirma.bg--- neznaja nakyde sym trygnal missing a whither neznaja i zashto vyrvya and also the Goal no chesto vijdam, che sym byrzal forgot in my hurry tam gdeto trjabvalo e da pospra the joy as a goal -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]On Behalf Of Slavi AndreevSent: Monday, May 20, 2002 5:44 PMTo: [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: [JOKES] FW: Dogovorut na pravitelstvoto s Microsoft Mai ne e mnogo za tuk, ama . http://ludost.net/msmail/
[JOKES] hands
http://www.sirma.bg/jokes/hands.avi BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020516T072048Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] people
"There are only 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't." BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020510T095544Z END:VCARD
Re: [JOKES] Joke
mmda... ama to werno akoprewkliuchim na IF-THENdiscussion mode, ima baq IFowe za spomenawane:) ta mai po-dobre da ne:) - Original Message - From: Nikolai To: Ivan Terziev ; JOKES Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 5:33 PM Subject: RE: [JOKES] Joke Vojde, lafa e star kato sveta: - Kakvo ste stane, ako zemqta se zavyrti30 pyti po-byrzo? - Vseki den steste da imazaplata. -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]On Behalf Of Ivan TerzievSent: Monday, April 22, 2002 4:31 PMTo: JOKESSubject: Re: [JOKES] Joke Az si mislq za slednata mesechna shema: 01010101 01 01010101 01 01010101 01 01010101 0101 Note: na 01-wo chislo ot meseca da poluchawame zaplata...:)) Rezerven variant: Wsluchai na zabawqne na zaplatite...:(( se izchakwa denq na plashtane=DenX i se prilaga slednata shema: DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX... za kolkoto dni ostawat... Respect! Vozd - Original Message - From: Iliana Misheva To: JOKES Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 10:26 AM Subject: [JOKES] Joke NEG FRI FRI FRI THU WED TUE 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 16 15 14 12 11 10 9 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 32 30 28 27 26 25 24 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 This is a special calendar for handling rush jobs. All rush jobs are wanted yesterday. With this calendar a job can be ordered on the 7th and delivered on the 3rd. Most jobs are required by Friday, so there are three Fridays in every week. There are eight new days added to each month to allow for end-of-the-month panic jobs. There is no 1st of the month - thus avoiding late delivery of the previous month's last-minute panic jobs. Monday morning hangovers are abolished together with non-productive Saturdays and Sundays. A new day - Negotiation Day - has been introduced keeping the other days free for uninterrupted panic.
[JOKES] Help Desk horrors...
These are stories from help desks around the country Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop- up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'." (At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.) Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?" Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?" One woman called Dell's toll-free line to ask how to install the batteries in her laptop. When told that the directions were on the first page of the manual the woman replied angrily, "I just paid $2,000 for this damn thing, and I'm not going to read the book." Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." Tech Support: "Did you install the update?" Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?" Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word." Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done." Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'." Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says." Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'." Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk." Customer: "What?" Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?" Customer "No..." Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" Customer: "Uhh...I need help unpacking my new PC." Tech Support: "What exactly is the problem?" Customer: "I can't open the box." Tech Support: "Well, I'd remove the tape holding the box closed and go from there." Customer: "U...ok, thanks" Customer: "I'm having a problem installing your software. I've got a fairly old computer, and when I type 'INSTALL', all it says is 'Bad command or file name'." Tech Support: "Ok, check the directory of the A: drive- go to A: \ and type 'dir'." Customer reads off a list of file names, including 'INSTALL.EXE'. Tech Support: "All right, the correct file is there. Type 'INSTALL' again." Customer: "Ok." (pause) "Still says 'Bad command or file name'." Tech Support: "Hmmm. The file's there in the correct place-it can't help but do something. Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the Enter key?" Customer: "Yes, let me try it again." (pause) "Nope, still 'Bad command or file name'." Tech Support: (now really confused) "Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?" Customer: "Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key is stuck, so I'm using the 'M' key...does that matter? At our company we have asset numbers on the front of everything. They give the location, name, and everything else just by scanning the computer's asset barcode or using the number beneath the bars. Customer: "Hello. I can't get on the network." Tech Support: "Ok. Just read me your asset number so we can open an outage." Customer: "What is that?" Tech Support: "That little barcode on the front of your computer." Customer: "Ok. Big bar, little bar, big bar, big bar . . ." And the best for last Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work." Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?" Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all." Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?" Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either." Tech Support: "You did what sir?" Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit." Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?" Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective." Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted
Re: [JOKES] alkoholyt
Dali samo mi se struva, che 60 choveka kato otworqt ednovremenno dolnta stranichka, jicata shte se zadrasti, ili towa e prosto edno glupavo hrumvane?:)) - Original Message - From: Milena To: jokes Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2002 11:26 AM Subject: [JOKES] alkoholyt http://people.cornell.edu/pages/slp29/humor_warnings.swf mim
Re: [JOKES] alkoholyt
Golqm wypros stana:)) Ami, bi triabwalo sigurno da e cached w proxy-to, ama dali wsichki polzwat proxy-to? - Original Message - From: Jogy [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: Ivan Terziev [EMAIL PROTECTED]; Milena [EMAIL PROTECTED]; jokes [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2002 12:09 PM Subject: Re: [JOKES] alkoholyt Dali samo mi se struva, che 60 choveka kato otworqt ednovremenno dolnta stranichka, jicata shte se zadrasti, ili towa e prosto edno glupavo hrumvane?:)) Ne bi li triabwalo da e kechirano w Proxy-to? Pri men se zaredi dosta byrzo Jogy =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] RoboHELP
...pitam... i otgowor ne chakam... istina li e towa???: BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020404T112205Z END:VCARD RoboHELP.gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] Priqten den i leka rabota na sve:)))
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020327T084319Z END:VCARD attachment: Joint.jpg
[JOKES] Service Too Busy??!!
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020327T135530Z END:VCARD attachment: TooBusy.jpg
[JOKES] Siv humor
Cost Cutting To whom it may concern, Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further notice... Sincerely,God BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020322T115920Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] girls evil
s nai-dobri chuvstwa: http://evilsurf.hit.bg/GirlsEvil.jpg BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020314T103821Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] parashutisti
- E, kak se chuwstwashe po vreme na pyrviq si parashuten skok? - Kato ptica - letq i driskam, letq i driskam... BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020314T135458Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] full version:)
http://galabov.virtualave.net/kurs.htm BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020314T142323Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Have an ice day at work:)
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and thewisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to killtoday because they pissed me off.And also, help me to be careful of the toesI step on today as they may be connectedto the butt that I may have to kiss tomorrow.Help me to always give 100% at work...12% on Monday23% on Tuesday40% on Wednesday20% on Thursday5% on FridaysAnd help me to remember...When I'm having a really bad day,and it seems that people are trying to piss me off,that it takes 42 muscles to frown andonly 4 muscles to extend my middle fingerand tell them to bite me! BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020313T081354Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] starichko ama dobro:)
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. A HINDU CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers. A WELSH CORPORATION You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute. BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020308T132817Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Fw: Otgowor na moq OBJECTION za newsweek statiqta....
Title: RE: OBJECTION Moje bi i drugi sa poluchili syshtoto... - Original Message - From: Begley, Sharon To: 'Ivan Terziev' Sent: Tuesday, February 26, 2002 5:03 PM Subject: RE: OBJECTION Please accept my apologies. I am very sorry I offended people, when all I intended was to say that the world treats some nationalities (Canadians) better than others (Bulgarians), and that that is not fair. Perhaps you would like to read what another Bulgarian sent me: Dear Sharon Bigley, dear editors of Newsweek, dear friends, dear friends of friends, I've never been a great fan of political correctness (Fahrenheit 451, probably), but even if I try to practice this way of thinking, nothing in this article ( http://www.msnbc.com/news/709438.asp?cp1=1 ) offenses me, although I am Bulgarian. I read the phrase in question many times, and I don't think it means homely+bucktoothed+balding=Bulgarian. I don't see why any one would interpret it that way. and let me also paste in another common message I have been getting: hey you, fuckingly stupid beley, do you know at all where bulgaria is? I doubt so, so you'd better keep your mouth shut next time you talk about us I wonder who you fuck with to keep you up at work with this lousy magazine. Sharon Begley Science editor Newsweek 251 W. 57th St. NY NY 10019 212-445-4379 -- From: Ivan Terziev[SMTP:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] Sent: Tuesday, February 26, 2002 4:01 AM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: OBJECTION File: Ivan Nikolaev Terziev.vcf http://www.msnbc.com/news/709438.asp?cp1=1 My objection is against the remark made in the Feb. 25 issue 2002 of NEWSWEEK Magazine by Sharon Begley in her article "Our Sport Has Gangrene" ( http://www.msnbc.com/news/709438.asp?cp1=1), where she states: "Even fans sympathetic to Jamie and David wondered aloud whether they would have gotten the gold if they had been homely, bucktoothed, balding and Bulgarian, rather than cute, charismatic Canadians. " Tasteless words like these are an insult to Bulgarians as well as to the numerous open-minded readers of NEWSWEEK around the world. We demand an apology.
[JOKES] rechnik
http://www.bulgaria.com/welkya/humour/rechnik.html P.S. Kato si zatvorim ochite pred neznanieto naavtoraotnosno upotrebata na dvoino "n" pri narechiqta i nqkoi "svoistveNNi" (!!?!??) prilagatelni,ima i dobri popadeniq:-) P.P.S. Kato si zatvorim ochite i pred nekoi drugi gramaticheski hiatusi/lipsi, nabliudavaniw izkaza na avtora,ima i dobri popadeniq:-) P.P.P.S. Towa za tyshtataw section "matematika" mi haresa "osobeNNo" mnogo:) BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020215T112712Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] troubleshooting
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020214T104847Z END:VCARD Beer_Troubleshooting_Chart.gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] ERRORWARE
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020213T093416Z END:VCARD attachment: ErrorWare.jpg
[JOKES] Employee Types
\\Sirma_Main\Common\Vozd\Zodiac Employee Type.doc BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020213T144454Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] America....
http://www.segabg.com/11022002/p0080003.asp BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020211T095834Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Liar
A police officer pulls a bloke over for speeding and has the followingexchange:Yes Officer?May I see your driver's licence?Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended for exceeding .05.Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.Officer: The car is stolen?Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw theregistration inthe glove box when I was putting my gun in there.Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?Driver: Yes mate. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the womanwhoowns this car and stuffed her in the boot.Officer. There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?Driver: Yes mate.Hearing this, the officer immediately called for back up. Police quicklysurround the car and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tensesituation:Captain: Sir, can I see your licence?Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.Captain: Whose car is this?Driver: It's mine officer. Here are the registration papers.The driver owned the car.Captain: Could you slowly open the glove box so I can see if there's a guninit?Driver: Yes sir, but there's no gun in it Sure enough, therewas NOTHING in the glove box.Captain: Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's abody init.Driver: No problem. Boot is opened; no bodyCaptain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you toldhimyou didn't have a licence, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, andthatthere was a dead body in the boot.Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding as well. BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020206T082310Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] no comment
http://www.segabg.com/01022002/p0050003.asp BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020201T140816Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] ne e joke - ako se kefite na pesenta glasuwaite:)
http://mm.hit.bg/interactive Gravity Co. - Away ( tiq sa mi deto se wika pochti ot moita banda ) BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020131T163431Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Sorry ako niakoi obicha da swiri na bass:))
Orkestyr sviri v populiarno shou. Mislite na muzikantite: Solo kitaristyt: "A sega! Sega e momentyt da izsviria svoeto veliko solo. To shte byde nai-velikoto v istoriiata na muzikata!!!" Klavishnite: "Gospodi! Kak go izsvirih tova. Kak legnah na temata, kolko plavno preminavam v melodiiata i samo kak vliubeno me gledat devoikite v publikata" Udarnite: "Palkite mi sami biiat po barabanite. Te me izdigat kato krile nad publikata i ostavame samo az i muzikata, a naokolo niama nikogo" Bas-kitaristyt: "Sol, do. Sol, do. Sol, sol, fa, do."
[JOKES] UI Design Hall of Shame
http://www.iarchitect.com/mshame.htm BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;RD TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020103T130241Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Ar u a profeshnl
\\Sirma_Main\Common\Vozd\Are_you_a_professiona1.pps BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;RD TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011204T130752Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] ...
(Q) What's the best form of birth control after 50? (A) Nudity. __ (Q) What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? (A) 45 lbs. (Q) What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? (A) 45 minutes. _ (Q) How many women does it take to change a light bulb? (A) None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. _ (Q) What's the fastest way to a man's heart? (A) Through his chest with a sharp knife. __ (Q) Why are men and parking spaces alike? (A) Because all the good ones are taken and the only ones left are disabled. _ (Q) Why do men want to marry virgins? (A) They can't stand criticism. __ (Q) Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? (A) Because those men already have boyfriends. __ (Q) What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? (A) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. __ (Q) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? (A) The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. ___ (Q) What do you call a smart blonde? (A) A golden retriever. (Q) Why does the bride always wear white? (A) Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. ___ (Q) A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? (A) The blonde, because she's 18. ___ (Q) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? (A) Ask your Mom. __ (Q) What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? (A) Say, "Nice Dick." _ (Q) Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? (A) Because they have cotton balls. ___ (Q) What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? (A) A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;RD TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011130T083710Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Mtel...
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;RD TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011129T111450Z END:VCARD Mtel_sms.GIF Description: GIF image
[JOKES] Understanding Computer Technology
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;RD TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011121T085806Z END:VCARD attachment: understandingcomputer.jpg
[JOKES] acronyms
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN It Still Does Nothing Apple Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI System Can't See It DOS Defunct Operating System Basic Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control IBM I Blame Microsoft DEC Do Expect Cuts CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too WWW World Wide Wait Microsoft Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers Macintosh Most Applications Crash, If Not, The Operating System Hangs BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;RD TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011101T092225Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Rejection Letter:))))
Dear Hiring Manager:Thank you for your letter dated Oct. 4, 2001. Aftercareful consideration,I regret to inform you that I amunable to accept your refusal to offer me a positionin your department.This year, I have been particularly fortunate inreceiving an unusually large number of rejectionletters. With such a varied and promising field ofcandidates, it's impossible for me to accept allrefusals.Despite your company's outstanding qualifications andprevious experience in rejecting applicants, I findthat your rejection does not meet my needs at thistime.I look forward to seeing you Monday, at 9 a.m., as Ibegin my future with your company. I wish you the bestof luck in rejecting future applicants.Sincerely,Joe B. BrownInterviewee BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;RD TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011101T130259Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Chernite dupki
Q: Kakvo predstavlyavat chernite dupki v kosmosa?A: Tam Gospod e delil na nula... :
[JOKES] Formula 1 ( pusnete si sound )
http://www.main.gadclan.de/flash/dengdeng.swf
[JOKES] Tiq rusnaci beee...
http://62.176.67.73/news/news.php?news=todaynews_id=26479
Re: [JOKES] FUNNY SLOGAN TRANSLATIONS
Coors put its slogan, Turn It Loose, into Spanish, where it read as Suffer From Diarrhea. -COORS Mi to na Engl. s malko poweche associativno mislene pak twa si znachi - e werno malko perifrazirano ama... - Lose it - nqkoi ot nas deto obichat lozeto ( kakto kazwa Naso ) znaem kak e:-))) Pozdrawi, Vozd. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Star ama hubaw:-))
Umira Bill Gates i mu predlagat da izbere mezhdu raya i ada. Rayat mu se vizhda strahotna skuka, a v ada vizhda yako kupon, piene, matzki, narkotitzi, etc. i estestveno izbira ada. Kato go prashtat tam izvednqzh se ozovava v tipichniya pqkql i edin dyavol go podkarva s trizqbetza kqm kazana. Billy uchuden pita kakvo stava, nali drugo e vidyal, i dyavolqt mu otgovarya "Aaaa, tova beshe demo versiya" :)
[JOKES] --
íÌÁÄÁ, ÐÒÉ×ÌÅËÁÔÅÌÎÁ ÖÅÎÁ ÌÅÖÉ É ÓÅ ÐÅÞÅ ÓÁÍÁ ÎÁ ÐÌÁÖÁ. ëßÍ ÎÅÑ ÓÅ ÐÒÉÂÌÉÖÁ×Á ÍßÖ É ÐÉÔÁ: - éÚ×ÉÎÅÔÅ, ÇÏÓÐÏÖÉÃÅ. ÷ÉÖÄÁÍ, ÞÅ ÓÔÅ ÓÁÍÁ, ÎÅ ×É ÌÉ Å ÓËÕÞÎÏ ÔÁËÁ? - áÂÅ ÔÉ ËÁË×Ï ÒÁÂÏÔÉÛ? - ðÒÏÇÒÁÍÉÓÔ ÓßÍ! - ñ ÓÉ ÐÒÅÄÓÔÁ×É ÔÏÇÁ×Á: ÏÔÉ×ÁÛ ÎÁ ÐÏÞÉ×ËÁ, ÌÅÖÉÛ ÓÉ ÎÁ ÐÌÁÖÁ É ÏËÏÌÏ ÔÅÂÅ ËÏÍÐÀÔÒÉ, ËÏÍÐÀÔÒÉ, ËÏÍÐÀÔÒÉ - å, Ë×Ï ÔÏÌËÏ×Á? óÕÐÅÒ ËÅÆ! - 286-ÉÃÉ ... É ÂÅÚ ÍÏÄÅÍÉ... - =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] E towa si struwa da se chue:-)))
Z:\Vozd\londonairportannouncement.doc =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] izwadka ot statiq w mediapool.bg ...
[JOKES] Za lozeto i mezeto...:-))
http://doctor.hit.bg/ begin:vcard n:Terziev;Ivan tel;work:EngView Systems Corp. x-mozilla-html:TRUE url:www.engview.com org:EngView Systems Corp.;Research Development Dept. adr:;; version:2.1 email;internet:[EMAIL PROTECTED] title:Technical Writer fn:Ivan Terziev end:vcard
[JOKES] Gramotna obqwa w top.bg
--- begin:vcard n:Terziev;Ivan tel;work:EngView Systems Corp. x-mozilla-html:TRUE url:www.engview.com org:EngView Systems Corp.;Research Development Dept. adr:;; version:2.1 email;internet:[EMAIL PROTECTED] title:Technical Writer fn:Ivan Terziev end:vcard
[JOKES] Spot the differences
http://www.top-greetings.com/cards/104 begin:vcard n:Terziev;Ivan tel;work:EngView Systems Corp. x-mozilla-html:TRUE url:www.engview.com org:EngView Systems Corp.;Research Development Dept. adr:;; version:2.1 email;internet:[EMAIL PROTECTED] title:Technical Writer fn:Ivan Terziev end:vcard
[JOKES] Escaped Bunny
Escaped Bunny A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. "Wow, this is great," he thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight - lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass. "Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?" "Yes. Come and join us," they cried. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked. "Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them." This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?" "You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat that as well." The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. "It's fantastic out here in the world!" he told them. "So, are you going to live with us then?" one of them asked. "I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't." The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. "Why? We thought you liked it here." "I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the lab. I'm dying for a cigarette." begin:vcard n:Terziev;Ivan tel;work:EngView Systems Corp. x-mozilla-html:TRUE url:www.engview.com org:EngView Systems Corp.;Research Development Dept. adr:;; version:2.1 email;internet:[EMAIL PROTECTED] title:Technical Writer fn:Ivan Terziev end:vcard
[JOKES] Biseri
http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Peaks/9024/pearls.htm#military begin:vcard n:Terziev;Ivan tel;work:EngView Systems Corp. x-mozilla-html:TRUE url:www.engview.com org:EngView Systems Corp.;Research Development Dept. adr:;; version:2.1 email;internet:[EMAIL PROTECTED] title:Technical Writer fn:Ivan Terziev end:vcard
[JOKES] Za topkite - seriozno:-)))
begin:vcard n:Terziev;Ivan tel;work:EngView Systems Corp. x-mozilla-html:TRUE url:www.engview.com org:EngView Systems Corp.;Research Development Dept. adr:;; version:2.1 email;internet:[EMAIL PROTECTED] title:Technical Writer fn:Ivan Terziev end:vcard
[JOKES] Malko romantika ( semantika )
_ Taoism: Shit happens Hinduism: This shit happened before Confucianism: Confucius say: Shit happens Buddhism: It is only an illusion of shit happening Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock: Shit happens Atheism: There is no such thing as shit Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, and maybe it doesn't Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me? Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen to you Blackism: Motherfuck all this shit _ Fuck you Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "Fuck". It is one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. In language, "Fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (John fucked). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck) or a passive verb (John was fucked by Mary), or an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), and a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you can see, there are a very few words with the versatility of "Fuck". Besides its sexual connotation, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations: Greetings: "How the fuck are you?" Fraud: "I got fucked by the car dealer." Dismay: "Oh, fuck it!" Trouble: "Well, I guess I'm fucked now." Aggression: "Fuck you!" Disgust: "Fuck me." Confusion: "What the fuck...?" Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking business." Despair: "Fucked again." Incompetence: "He fucks up everything." Displeasure: "What the fuck is going on here?" Lost: "Where the fuck are we?" Disbelief: "Unfuckingbelievable!" Retaliation: "Up your fucking ass!" Confused Aggression: "How the fuck should I know?" It can be used in an anatomical description - "He's a fucking asshole." It can be used to tell time - "It's five fucking thirty." It can be used in business - "How did I wind up with this fucking job?" It can be used to command silence - "Shut the fuck up!" It can be maternal - "You Motherfucker." It can be political - "Fuck Tip O'Neill!" And never forget General Custer's last words: "Where did all them fucking Indians come from?" Also, the famous last words of the Mayor of Hiroshima: "What the fuck was that?" And, last but not least, the immortal words of the Captain of the Titanic who said: "Where is all this fucking water coming from?" The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the word! How can anyone be offended when you say "Fuck"? Use it frequently in your daily speech; it will add to you prestige. Todaysay to someone: "Fuck you" :-))) begin:vcard n:Terziev;Ivan tel;work:EngView Systems Corp. x-mozilla-html:TRUE url:www.engview.com org:EngView Systems Corp.;Research Development Dept. adr:;; version:2.1 email;internet:[EMAIL PROTECTED] title:Technical Writer fn:Ivan Terziev end:vcard
