Yesterday was my 60th birthday....in 6 days it will be my 10
year aniversary of having TM. I am feeling somewhat sad and melancholy.
I normally accept my condition and give thanks that it is not as bad as
many on the list. However looking back I can no longer remember what it
felt like to be "normal". For people who do not have an affliction like
ours it is so difficult to explain. This was the first time I was ever
sick where I could not expect to be "all better". Therefore instead of
celebrating a birthday milestone, I spent much of the day feeling sorry
for myself. Knowing my personality I am quite sure this feeling will
soon be over and I will go back to being upbeat. But....10 years....and
not one waking minute where I felt good. Some days are better than
others....but no day is without discomfort or worse. I have found our
condition almost impossible to explain to a healthy person...I cannot
even come to terms with TM at my own level.
I understand strides are being made to help us...but I truly
doubt it is going to help the old timers. I am grateful that the younger
TM'rs will benefit. I have not given up hope and will continue to battle
this condition for as long as I live. I will regain my positive attitude
and be grateful for all of the wonderful things in my life. I just
needed to vent to the people who really understand!
Rob in New Jersey
