Matthew J. Probst wrote: => Are there really people who stay away from UUG meetings because they
haven't shaved in a while? BYU does not enforce grooming
standards for campus visitors... perhaps they do for dress codes (so
no short-shorts or bare mid-riffs at UUG meetings)... hopefully PLUGrs
don't dress this way anyway. :)
I usually don't get involved in these discussions, but I just couldn't resist here. Maybe it is the insomnia...
I love BYU and I am one of the (few?) people that actually thinks the Honor Code is a good idea (maybe not perfect in implementation, but even the Church, which is perfect, suffers occasionally from mortal inadequacies (I mean, hey, when was the last time the quorum had 100% home teaching? I guess its too late for October :-)).
Some years ago, not long after I got married and finished at BYU, I went with my wife (still a student) to some BYU function at the Wilk (I forget what it was). I had not shaved for a few days (just being lazy), though I was dressed in slacks and tie. I bought our tickets and we walked down the hall to the entrance of the event. The ticket takers wouldn't let me in, because I hadn't shaved. I argued for a bit, saying that they shouldn't have sold me the tickets if I couldn't get in. They asked if I could go home, shave, and return. I explained that the event would be over before I got back. They were polite, but firm.
We ended up going to the other entrance (it was in that big ballroom south of the center atrium, don't know if it is still there after all the remodeling). Being careful to look away when my wife handed over the tickets, we got in.
It was the only time I can recall that I didn't feel comfortable and at home at BYU.
I should have shaved for the event. I was wrong to show up there knowing what my host's standards were, and not respecting those standards.
But somewhere down inside me, there was a little part of me that felt that BYU, as a representative of the Church at an event open to the public, should have been a bit more lenient. Maybe said something like "Hey, lookin' a bit scruffy there Brother" to let me know gently that higher standards were expected than what I was showing.
I have often wondered how someone who wasn't a member of the Church, and who had not had any dealings with BYU before would have reacted. It never came up whether I was a student. The doorkeepers just assumed I was. Would they have reacted differently if I explained that I wasn't? Probably.
We don't throw people out of Sacrament meeting because they haven't dressed or groomed themselves appropriately.
But then again, BYU isn't the Church, so I shouldn't expect it to behave the same. BYU is more a missionary tool, and it isn't unreasonable to expect its representatives (whoever participates in its functions) to look the part.
Was I an investigator, or a missionary?
I appreciate Matt's attitude toward the "unofficial members" of the UUG. I suspect there is a general feeling among most Unix users that "the outward appearance" doesn't mean much, but what you are able to contribute to the community is what counts. This is one of the reasons I like the computer culture generally. I like to look clean cut and reasonably well dressed (and I am certainly more conscientious about it now than I was that day), but it also gives me warm fuzzies to know that the people that I meet don't care much.
There are people watching and forming opinions based on appearances at BYU[1]. I am not saying you should stay away from the next UUG meeting because you haven't shaved, but I am saying you may need to be a bit patient with people if they don't react in a perfectly Christlike way if you show up not looking quite like they expect.
I guess my point (if I even have one, it is >3:00am and I am dog tired, sick, and going crazy 'cuz I can't fall asleep) is twofold. First, dress/groom the way your host expects and you won't be feel uncomfortable or out of place, and second, cut people some slack if they have a hard time with your looks, because it is hard to get past the outward appearance sometimes[2].
Thanks,
Adam Augustine[1]- Not just at BYU but everywhere, I know. But sometimes people expect BYU to be above that for some illogical reason. People like me for instance :-(
[2]- http://www.erenkrantz.com/Humor/BSDDaemon.shtml
<random thoughts before I go to sleep>
So this is on-topic because:
1) It is about BYU and this is the *BYU* UUG.
2) Footnote #2 is about BSD and that is a flavor of Unix
3) ESR is proposing a logo for hackers, and that is about appearances and Unix.
4) And well, sometimes its ok to be off-topic.
5) Its not crossposted.
6) Its might be a vote to keep the lists seperate, because I don't think I could get away with this on the PLUG list. Then again, I never subscribed to the PLUG list, so I don't know. Been meaning to do that... for a few years now...
</random thoughts>
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