Hi Prerna!
My observations (though i really do not know what to make of them):-
1. The teardrop of a woman is male (addressed to as "he" as opposed to the gender neutral "it") and so, therefore, very much like a man leaves on the lurch the very eye that has generated it - in short a ditcher!
2. The tear drop - presumably a result of grief - is juxtaposed with words like smile, twinkle and sparkle.
2. The tear drop - presumably a result of grief - is juxtaposed with words like smile, twinkle and sparkle.
The verdict is clear. U are describing a caress which traces your cheek. The poignancy is that the caress replicates the path of a tear - as if the cause for great happiness is also the basis of profound sorrow. Such is life i guess.
I liked the poem whether i misunderstood it again or not but i liked attempting to decipher it.
Ron
prerna rungta <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
prerna rungta <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
hi all.... here is another one from me... i ll be
appreciate if i get some feedback....
specially from farah and ronnie...
It does have a title but i ve written it alongside my
name...after the poem...
Sometimes when we are alone..
I try to hold him on...
but then he...
He,
the little twinkle tht sparkles my eyes...
traces his path down my cheek..
stops for a split second...
brushes my lips...
smiles and dissappears..
oblivious of whatever happens
to me.. the one left behind
And then Again
I ask myself
I....
WHY?....
Prerna
SOLITARY TEAR
--- Farah Imran <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>wrote:
> I think I owe Mr.Vivek a thorough apology...
>
> Dear sir, I am heartily sorry for replying so
> viciously. But I have been in a very low mood for
> some days and your criticism sounded very jarring to
> my over wrought nerves...I hope you will realize
> that I over-reacted because I felt that my emotion
> has been mocked. Now that I look back, I see that
> you did not intend it that way...but that is always
> a problem with me, I leap first and look
> afterwards.I hope you will understand.
>
> And thankyou for such a sweet reconcilliatory note
> Ronnie. The mildness of your tone has made me
> realize that I did indeed reply very viciously...my
> apologies again.
> And man am I happy or what to know that you have
> read "Harry Potter". I am a diehard Harry Potter fan
> myself.
>
> This is the longest poem I have written to date...I
> surely need more practice to get a hang of this kind
> of writing.
>
> Regards,
> Farah.
>
> ronnie banerjee <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>wrote:
> What is interesting in Farah's latest is involvement
> of Harry Potter in the poem - The word "Dementor"
> has been used without fear and without explanation.
> I love it.
>
> The critique of Vivek cannot be taken the way Farah
> has taken it. I found the exchange between Farah and
> Vivek most stimulating. Raw talent in the face of
> finely honed criticism (albeit slightly patronising
> but well meaning at the end of the day). No, I
> daresay Vivek was certainly not being malicious.
>
> There comes a time when the critic's critique itself
> gets criticised. I do think that Vivek got into the
> issue of technique to such an extent that he ignored
> the substance of the poem, which obviously is about
> the devastation caused due to the recent earthquake.
> In other words the poem is about the tyranny of
> nature and the abruptness of tragedy and
> devastation. It is important and terribly relevant
> because there is a lot of it that is happening all
> over - tsunami, hurricane Katrina, and now the
> earthquake. I was reading somewhere that nature does
> not have a human heart. I also relate to Farah's
> confession that she would not be in a position to
> deal with the suddenness of such a calamity. I am
> able to discover a bit of meaning in Farah's present
> poem as I have read a few of them now (I must
> confess I like reading most of them as they are
> mercifully short). Farah's poems draw heavy reliance
> from nature and for her nature metaphorises her
> emotions to a large extent. For such a
> "pantheist" a sudden revelation of mother nature's
> meaningless cruelty must certainly be inexplicable.
>
> Amazingly, I found the earthquake interesting too
> but for prosaic reasons. The seismological /
> territorial faultline, it would seem, coincides
> with the cultural and political one. How is that for
> a modern pantheistic idiom. I think a poem can be
> attempted on this.
> Farah's stacatto style in the poem can be criticised
> but it cannot be condemned. The style wishes to
> highlight the pain and the rough edges of her
> feelings. No doubt the poem has rough edges too. I
> don't think that she needs to rhyme or chyme her
> current poem. I do like it with its jagged and
> slightly rough hewn style.
>
> Regards all
> Ronnie
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million
> songs. Try it free.
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