Re: I am affronted by the presence of god
Folks, I really don't know that continuing this thread is a good idea.
@66 I'm sorry you're going through what you are. It sounds incredibly rough. I actually had a pretty bad breakdown a few weeks back during the Texas snowstorm, so maybe I can empathize a bit. I was taking care of my girlfriend through it, her attendants weren't able to make it for a stretch. and I just sort of melted down out of fear/exhaustion. I do an OK job taking care of her when we're not in the midst of a huge snowstorm, but her place is inaccessible to me in ways that make that harder for days on end, and I had to take care of myself then as well. Plus she does tenant organizing, so all day she's taking calls from folks in apartments with no water, using dog-shit-filled snow for flushing toilets..it was awful in a whole bunch of ways. Plus we're in winter, when I already struggle with depression. And we're in a pandemic which, well, the less said about that the better.
What it also is was traumatic, and it really sounds like you're going through a lot of trauma right now. I'd like it if people here could be helpful, but I don't know that they can be. That isn't because they don't *want* to, but because it can be hard to relate.
I don't know if I'm right, and I apologize if I'm not. But I thought that saying something and being wrong, would be worse than not saying something and being right.
Do you have any other support? Do you need me to help you find some? That's a serious offer, and I have some bandwidth to help. I'm still not entirely on my feet, but I have enough to do a bit of research if you don't have the time, and to try connecting you with support if I can find it.
Hang in there. I know that sounds hollow, but it's sincere.
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