who's gonna win the Superbowl this year to concern himself with boring
old Iraqi politics.
- Jim
Marlon Moyer wrote:
>My office buddy listens to the Oreilly factor everyday.
>
>Today O'Reilly announced, "Jesus will praise us for removing Saddam!"
>
>I'm so sure. Like Jesus will say, "Dude! You guys really cleaned up
>down there. You took a bad guy out and hey!, you only had a few
>bystander deaths. You know that first commandment....Yeah, well, I
>forgot to add that it didn't apply to 'collateral damages'. Anyway,
>sweet job guys!"
>
>Just one more reason that I wouldn't want to be associated with any
>particular faith.
>
>
>
>Marlon Moyer wrote:
>
>
>
>>Or just realize "there is no spoon"
>>
>>Matthew Small wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>>>It's never too late to start practicing. It will probably bring you
>>>some inner peace. You should try your native faith or that of your
>>>wife and children. Good luck.
>>>
>>>- Matt Small
>>>
>>>----- Original Message -----
>>> From: Charlie Griefer
>>> To: CF-Community
>>> Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:00 PM
>>> Subject: Re: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
>>>
>>> Heya Ben:
>>>
>>> Actually that was said with a hint of sarcasm (what? you couldn't
>>>hear it?) : )
>>>
>>> Unfortunately, that's the way it was in my house. We just weren't
>>>very religious...and it was fairly early on that Chanukah
>>>'degenerated' into a simple gift exchange with no ceremony attached to
>>>it...and ultimately into nothing at all.
>>>
>>> Today, I consider myself a non-practicing Jew. I'm married to a
>>>wonderful Lutheran woman, and we are raising our children
>>>Lutheran. My wife's religion was simply more important to her than
>>>mine was to me, due to the way each of us was brought up. To be
>>>honest, it's very depressing not having a religion to believe in. I
>>>don't mind at all that my daughter (and whatever children follow) are
>>>going to be raised Lutheran. I wouldn't have cared if I had fallen in
>>>love and married a Catholic or an Episcopalean or for that matter... a
>>>Jew. All that mattered (and matters) to me is that whatever religion
>>>it ended up being...that they practiced it. I don't necessarily care
>>>what they believe...but I want them to believe in *something*.
>>>
>>> Trust me, I envy you for taking pleasure in the simple act of
>>>lighting the candles and saying the prayers (regardless of whether or
>>>not gifts were involved). I envy your children for having had those
>>>principles instilled in them (and commend you for doing so). I'm
>>>going to try and do the same for my children. Wish me luck : )
>>>
>>> Charlie
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: Ben Braver
>>> To: CF-Community
>>> Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 12:38 PM
>>> Subject: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
>>>
>>> Oh, Charlie, do I ever disagree with you on this:
>>>
>>> "No reason to light the menorah and say a prayer if there were no
>>>presents to open", you say?
>>>
>>> *NOT*
>>>
>>> My young-adult kids even asked a couple of years ago that I not go
>>>overboard trying to fill up 8 days with presents.
>>>
>>> We say the blessings and light the menorah whether we have
>>>presents or not. I love to sit and watch the candles. Yes, sometimes
>>>we skip a night due to some of the schedule conflicts this time of
>>>year, but not because there are no gifts for that night...
>>>
>>> YMMV.
>>>
>>> -Ben
>>>
>>> > my take on #10...
>>> >
>>> > kids will always get their xmas presents...
>>> > but on any given night of Chanukah, a parent reserves the right to
>>> > withhold presents (or at least to threaten to do so).
>>> >
>>> > Actually I was relatively young when my parents started the
>>> > "bargaining process". As the presents I wanted became more and
>>>more
>>> > expensive, I was told, "OK...but if you want <name of more
>>>expensive
>>> > present here>, you can only get 5 gifts instead of 8".
>>> >
>>> > Eventually one gift got exchanged, the menorah gathered dust (no
>>> > reason to light the menorah and say a prayer if there were no
>>>presents
>>> > to open), and we all just grew up and grew jaded : )
>>> >
>>> > ah, youth.
>>> >
>>>
>>> > ----- Original Message -----
>>>
>>> > From: Ben Braver
>>>
>>> > To: CF-Community
>>>
>>> > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 10:14 AM
>>>
>>> > Subject: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
>>> >
>>> >
>>>
>>> > Oy, Charlie, ROFLMAO bubbela !!
>>>
>>> > Vay is meer, that was FUNNY!
>>>
>>> > But I don't get #10 ??
>>>
>>> > re: #12, Joseph preceded the Xmas carol saying
>>>
>>> > "Have yourself a Mary little Christmas"
>>>
>>> > <hohoho>
>>>
>>> > -Ben
>>> >
>>>
>>> > >HOLIDAY DISTINCTIONS
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >1. Christmas is one day, same day every year: December 25. Jews
>>>also
>>> > love
>>>
>>> > >December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to
>>>
>>>
>>movies and
>>
>>
>>> > out for
>>>
>>> > >Chinese food, and Israeli dancing. Chanukah is 8 days. It
>>>starts the
>>> > evening
>>>
>>> > >of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever
>>>sure. Jews
>>> > never
>>>
>>> > >know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts,
>>>forcing us
>>> > to
>>>
>>> > >consult a calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all have the
>>> > same
>>>
>>> > >calendar, provided free with a donation from either the World
>>>Jewish
>>>
>>> > >Congress, the kosher butcher, or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel
>>> > (especially
>>>
>>> > >in Florida) or other Jewish funeral home.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor holiday
>>>with the
>>> > same
>>>
>>> > >theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we
>>>
>>>
>>survived,
>>
>>
>>> > let's
>>>
>>> > >eat.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume,
>>> > stereos...
>>>
>>> > >Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, or the
>>> > collected works
>>>
>>> > >of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >4. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can decide
>>>how to
>>> > spell
>>>
>>> > >Chanukah, Chanukah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and
>>>boyfriends.
>>> > Their
>>>
>>> > >partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved of that
>>>burden.
>>> > No
>>>
>>> > >one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for
>>> > Chanukah.
>>>
>>> > >Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to
>>>
>>>
>>feel
>>
>>
>>> > good
>>>
>>> > >about not contributing to the energy crisis.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >7. Christmas carols are beautiful. Silent Night, Come All Ye
>>>Faithful....
>>> >
>>>
>>> > >Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a
>>>
>>>
>>party
>>
>>
>>> > and
>>>
>>> > >dancing the horah. Of course, we are secretly pleased that
>>>
>>>
>>many of
>>
>>
>>> > the
>>>
>>> > >beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal
>>>
>>>
>>brethren.
>>
>>
>>> > And don't
>>>
>>> > >Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet
>>>smell
>>> > of
>>>
>>> > >cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in
>>>festive
>>> > moods.
>>>
>>> > >A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and
>>>
>>>
>>onions.
>>
>>
>>> > The home,
>>>
>>> > >as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >9. Women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Women burn their
>>>eyes and
>>> > cut
>>>
>>> > >their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkas on Chanukah.
>>> > Another
>>>
>>> > >reminder of our suffering through the ages.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >10. Parents deliver to their children during Christmas. Jewish
>>> > parents have
>>>
>>> > >no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight nights.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce
>>>names
>>> > such as
>>>
>>> > >Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah story are
>>> > Antiochus,
>>>
>>> > >Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or
>>>pronounce
>>> > it. On
>>>
>>> > >the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they
>>>believe we
>>> > are
>>>
>>> > >wonderfully versed in our history.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews think,
>>>"Joseph,
>>> >
>>>
>>> > >Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn't
>>>sleep with
>>> > her,
>>>
>>> > >and now you want to blame G-d. Here's the number of my shrink."
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>> > >13. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more
>>> > commercialized. The
>>>
>>> > >same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor
>>>holiday. It
>>> > makes
>>>
>>> > >sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur?
>>>Forget
>>> > about
>>>
>>> > >celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve
>>>yourself for
>>> > 27
>>>
>>> > >hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest,
>>>confess
>>> > your
>>>
>>> > >sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets a
>>>mere
>>> > $200
>>>
>>> > >per person.
>>>
>>> > >
>>>
>>>
>>>
>
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