wasn't that...
<cf_voice type="Impersonation" character="Tim the Enchanter">
Th' GRAIL?
</cf_voice>
will
Marlon Moyer wrote:
> "HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!"
>
> Matthew Small wrote:
>
> > OK, Charlie, it's time to listen to the guy who thinks "The Matrix" is
> > spiritual advice. :-)
> >
> > - Matt Small
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: Marlon Moyer
> > To: CF-Community
> > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:52 PM
> > Subject: Re: distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> >
> > The Matrix
> >
> > Matthew Small wrote:
> >
> > > Where is that from?
> > >
> > > - Matt Small
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: Marlon Moyer
> > > To: CF-Community
> > > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:44 PM
> > > Subject: Re: distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> > >
> > > Or just realize "there is no spoon"
> > >
> > > Matthew Small wrote:
> > >
> > > > It's never too late to start practicing. It will probably
> > bring you
> > > > some inner peace. You should try your native faith or that of
> > your
> > > > wife and children. Good luck.
> > > >
> > > > - Matt Small
> > > >
> > > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > > From: Charlie Griefer
> > > > To: CF-Community
> > > > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:00 PM
> > > > Subject: Re: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> > > >
> > > > Heya Ben:
> > > >
> > > > Actually that was said with a hint of sarcasm (what? you
> > couldn't
> > > > hear it?) : )
> > > >
> > > > Unfortunately, that's the way it was in my house. We just
> > weren't
> > > > very religious...and it was fairly early on that Chanukah
> > > > 'degenerated' into a simple gift exchange with no ceremony
> > > attached to
> > > > it...and ultimately into nothing at all.
> > > >
> > > > Today, I consider myself a non-practicing Jew. I'm
> married to a
> > > > wonderful Lutheran woman, and we are raising our children
> > > > Lutheran. My wife's religion was simply more important to her
> > than
> > > > mine was to me, due to the way each of us was brought up. To be
> > > > honest, it's very depressing not having a religion to believe
> > in. I
> > > > don't mind at all that my daughter (and whatever children
> > follow) are
> > > > going to be raised Lutheran. I wouldn't have cared if I had
> > > fallen in
> > > > love and married a Catholic or an Episcopalean or for that
> > > matter... a
> > > > Jew. All that mattered (and matters) to me is that whatever
> > religion
> > > > it ended up being...that they practiced it. I don't
> > necessarily care
> > > > what they believe...but I want them to believe in *something*.
> > > >
> > > > Trust me, I envy you for taking pleasure in the simple act of
> > > > lighting the candles and saying the prayers (regardless of
> > whether or
> > > > not gifts were involved). I envy your children for having had
> > those
> > > > principles instilled in them (and commend you for doing
> so). I'm
> > > > going to try and do the same for my children. Wish me luck : )
> > > >
> > > > Charlie
> > > >
> > > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > > From: Ben Braver
> > > > To: CF-Community
> > > > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 12:38 PM
> > > > Subject: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> > > >
> > > > Oh, Charlie, do I ever disagree with you on this:
> > > >
> > > > "No reason to light the menorah and say a prayer if there
> > were no
> > > > presents to open", you say?
> > > >
> > > > *NOT*
> > > >
> > > > My young-adult kids even asked a couple of years ago that I
> > > not go
> > > > overboard trying to fill up 8 days with presents.
> > > >
> > > > We say the blessings and light the menorah whether we have
> > > > presents or not. I love to sit and watch the candles. Yes,
> > sometimes
> > > > we skip a night due to some of the schedule conflicts this
> time of
> > > > year, but not because there are no gifts for that night...
> > > >
> > > > YMMV.
> > > >
> > > > -Ben
> > > >
> > > > > my take on #10...
> > > > >
> > > > > kids will always get their xmas presents...
> > > > > but on any given night of Chanukah, a parent reserves the
> > > right to
> > > > > withhold presents (or at least to threaten to do so).
> > > > >
> > > > > Actually I was relatively young when my parents
> started the
> > > > > "bargaining process". As the presents I wanted became
> > more and
> > > > more
> > > > > expensive, I was told, "OK...but if you want <name of more
> > > > expensive
> > > > > present here>, you can only get 5 gifts instead of 8".
> > > > >
> > > > > Eventually one gift got exchanged, the menorah gathered
> > dust (no
> > > > > reason to light the menorah and say a prayer if there
> > were no
> > > > presents
> > > > > to open), and we all just grew up and grew jaded : )
> > > > >
> > > > > ah, youth.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > >
> > > > > From: Ben Braver
> > > >
> > > > > To: CF-Community
> > > >
> > > > > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 10:14 AM
> > > >
> > > > > Subject: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > Oy, Charlie, ROFLMAO bubbela !!
> > > >
> > > > > Vay is meer, that was FUNNY!
> > > >
> > > > > But I don't get #10 ??
> > > >
> > > > > re: #12, Joseph preceded the Xmas carol saying
> > > >
> > > > > "Have yourself a Mary little Christmas"
> > > >
> > > > > <hohoho>
> > > >
> > > > > -Ben
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >HOLIDAY DISTINCTIONS
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >1. Christmas is one day, same day every year:
> December 25.
> > > Jews
> > > > also
> > > > > love
> > > >
> > > > > >December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to
> > > movies and
> > > > > out for
> > > >
> > > > > >Chinese food, and Israeli dancing. Chanukah is 8 days. It
> > > > starts the
> > > > > evening
> > > >
> > > > > >of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is
> ever
> > > > sure. Jews
> > > > > never
> > > >
> > > > > >know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts,
> > > > forcing us
> > > > > to
> > > >
> > > > > >consult a calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all
> > > have the
> > > > > same
> > > >
> > > > > >calendar, provided free with a donation from either the
> > World
> > > > Jewish
> > > >
> > > > > >Congress, the kosher butcher, or the local Sinai Memorial
> > > Chapel
> > > > > (especially
> > > >
> > > > > >in Florida) or other Jewish funeral home.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor
> > holiday
> > > > with the
> > > > > same
> > > >
> > > > > >theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we
> > > survived,
> > > > > let's
> > > >
> > > > > >eat.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry,
> > perfume,
> > > > > stereos...
> > > >
> > > > > >Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks,
> > or the
> > > > > collected works
> > > >
> > > > > >of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >4. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can
> > decide
> > > > how to
> > > > > spell
> > > >
> > > > > >Chanukah, Chanukah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah,
> Hannukah.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and
> > > > boyfriends.
> > > > > Their
> > > >
> > > > > >partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved
> > of that
> > > > burden.
> > > > > No
> > > >
> > > > > >one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are
> > > used for
> > > > > Chanukah.
> > > >
> > > > > >Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but
> we get
> > > to feel
> > > > > good
> > > >
> > > > > >about not contributing to the energy crisis.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >7. Christmas carols are beautiful. Silent Night, Come
> > All Ye
> > > > Faithful....
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or
> having
> > > a party
> > > > > and
> > > >
> > > > > >dancing the horah. Of course, we are secretly pleased
> that
> > > many of
> > > > > the
> > > >
> > > > > >beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal
> > > brethren.
> > > > > And don't
> > > >
> > > > > >Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The
> > sweet
> > > > smell
> > > > > of
> > > >
> > > > > >cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered
> > around in
> > > > festive
> > > > > moods.
> > > >
> > > > > >A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil,
> potatoes, and
> > > onions.
> > > > > The home,
> > > >
> > > > > >as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >9. Women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Women burn
> > their
> > > > eyes and
> > > > > cut
> > > >
> > > > > >their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkas on
> > Chanukah.
> > > > > Another
> > > >
> > > > > >reminder of our suffering through the ages.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >10. Parents deliver to their children during Christmas.
> > Jewish
> > > > > parents have
> > > >
> > > > > >no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight
> > nights.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to
> > pronounce
> > > > names
> > > > > such as
> > > >
> > > > > >Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah
> > story are
> > > > > Antiochus,
> > > >
> > > > > >Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell
> it or
> > > > pronounce
> > > > > it. On
> > > >
> > > > > >the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they
> > > > believe we
> > > > > are
> > > >
> > > > > >wonderfully versed in our history.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews
> > think,
> > > > "Joseph,
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you
> didn't
> > > > sleep with
> > > > > her,
> > > >
> > > > > >and now you want to blame G-d. Here's the number of my
> > shrink."
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >13. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more
> > > > > commercialized. The
> > > >
> > > > > >same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor
> > > > holiday. It
> > > > > makes
> > > >
> > > > > >sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom
> > Kippur?
> > > > Forget
> > > > > about
> > > >
> > > > > >celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve
> > > > yourself for
> > > > > 27
> > > >
> > > > > >hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your
> > chest,
> > > > confess
> > > > > your
> > > >
> > > > > >sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family.
> > > Tickets a
> > > > mere
> > > > > $200
> > > >
> > > > > >per person.
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
>
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