have to do with collateral damages? Do you mean the 6th?
(Your commandments may vary)
> My office buddy listens to the Oreilly factor everyday.
>
> Today O'Reilly announced, "Jesus will praise us for removing Saddam!"
>
> I'm so sure. Like Jesus will say, "Dude! You guys really cleaned up
> down there. You took a bad guy out and hey!, you only had a few
> bystander deaths. You know that first commandment....Yeah, well, I
> forgot to add that it didn't apply to 'collateral damages'. Anyway,
> sweet job guys!"
>
> Just one more reason that I wouldn't want to be associated with any
> particular faith.
>
>
>
> Marlon Moyer wrote:
>
> > Or just realize "there is no spoon"
> >
> > Matthew Small wrote:
> >
> > > It's never too late to start practicing. It will probably bring you
> > > some inner peace. You should try your native faith or that of your
> > > wife and children. Good luck.
> > >
> > > - Matt Small
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: Charlie Griefer
> > > To: CF-Community
> > > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:00 PM
> > > Subject: Re: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> > >
> > > Heya Ben:
> > >
> > > Actually that was said with a hint of sarcasm (what? you couldn't
> > > hear it?) : )
> > >
> > > Unfortunately, that's the way it was in my house. We just weren't
> > > very religious...and it was fairly early on that Chanukah
> > > 'degenerated' into a simple gift exchange with no ceremony attached to
> > > it...and ultimately into nothing at all.
> > >
> > > Today, I consider myself a non-practicing Jew. I'm married to a
> > > wonderful Lutheran woman, and we are raising our children
> > > Lutheran. My wife's religion was simply more important to her than
> > > mine was to me, due to the way each of us was brought up. To be
> > > honest, it's very depressing not having a religion to believe in. I
> > > don't mind at all that my daughter (and whatever children follow) are
> > > going to be raised Lutheran. I wouldn't have cared if I had fallen in
> > > love and married a Catholic or an Episcopalean or for that matter... a
> > > Jew. All that mattered (and matters) to me is that whatever religion
> > > it ended up being...that they practiced it. I don't necessarily care
> > > what they believe...but I want them to believe in *something*.
> > >
> > > Trust me, I envy you for taking pleasure in the simple act of
> > > lighting the candles and saying the prayers (regardless of whether or
> > > not gifts were involved). I envy your children for having had those
> > > principles instilled in them (and commend you for doing so). I'm
> > > going to try and do the same for my children. Wish me luck : )
> > >
> > > Charlie
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: Ben Braver
> > > To: CF-Community
> > > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 12:38 PM
> > > Subject: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> > >
> > > Oh, Charlie, do I ever disagree with you on this:
> > >
> > > "No reason to light the menorah and say a prayer if there were no
> > > presents to open", you say?
> > >
> > > *NOT*
> > >
> > > My young-adult kids even asked a couple of years ago that I not go
> > > overboard trying to fill up 8 days with presents.
> > >
> > > We say the blessings and light the menorah whether we have
> > > presents or not. I love to sit and watch the candles. Yes, sometimes
> > > we skip a night due to some of the schedule conflicts this time of
> > > year, but not because there are no gifts for that night...
> > >
> > > YMMV.
> > >
> > > -Ben
> > >
> > > > my take on #10...
> > > >
> > > > kids will always get their xmas presents...
> > > > but on any given night of Chanukah, a parent reserves the right to
> > > > withhold presents (or at least to threaten to do so).
> > > >
> > > > Actually I was relatively young when my parents started the
> > > > "bargaining process". As the presents I wanted became more and
> > > more
> > > > expensive, I was told, "OK...but if you want <name of more
> > > expensive
> > > > present here>, you can only get 5 gifts instead of 8".
> > > >
> > > > Eventually one gift got exchanged, the menorah gathered dust (no
> > > > reason to light the menorah and say a prayer if there were no
> > > presents
> > > > to open), and we all just grew up and grew jaded : )
> > > >
> > > > ah, youth.
> > > >
> > >
> > > > ----- Original Message -----
> > >
> > > > From: Ben Braver
> > >
> > > > To: CF-Community
> > >
> > > > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 10:14 AM
> > >
> > > > Subject: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > > > Oy, Charlie, ROFLMAO bubbela !!
> > >
> > > > Vay is meer, that was FUNNY!
> > >
> > > > But I don't get #10 ??
> > >
> > > > re: #12, Joseph preceded the Xmas carol saying
> > >
> > > > "Have yourself a Mary little Christmas"
> > >
> > > > <hohoho>
> > >
> > > > -Ben
> > > >
> > >
> > > > >HOLIDAY DISTINCTIONS
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >1. Christmas is one day, same day every year: December 25. Jews
> > > also
> > > > love
> > >
> > > > >December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to
> > movies and
> > > > out for
> > >
> > > > >Chinese food, and Israeli dancing. Chanukah is 8 days. It
> > > starts the
> > > > evening
> > >
> > > > >of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever
> > > sure. Jews
> > > > never
> > >
> > > > >know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts,
> > > forcing us
> > > > to
> > >
> > > > >consult a calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all have the
> > > > same
> > >
> > > > >calendar, provided free with a donation from either the World
> > > Jewish
> > >
> > > > >Congress, the kosher butcher, or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel
> > > > (especially
> > >
> > > > >in Florida) or other Jewish funeral home.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor holiday
> > > with the
> > > > same
> > >
> > > > >theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we
> > survived,
> > > > let's
> > >
> > > > >eat.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume,
> > > > stereos...
> > >
> > > > >Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, or the
> > > > collected works
> > >
> > > > >of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >4. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can decide
> > > how to
> > > > spell
> > >
> > > > >Chanukah, Chanukah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and
> > > boyfriends.
> > > > Their
> > >
> > > > >partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved of that
> > > burden.
> > > > No
> > >
> > > > >one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for
> > > > Chanukah.
> > >
> > > > >Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to
> > feel
> > > > good
> > >
> > > > >about not contributing to the energy crisis.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >7. Christmas carols are beautiful. Silent Night, Come All Ye
> > > Faithful....
> > > >
> > >
> > > > >Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a
> > party
> > > > and
> > >
> > > > >dancing the horah. Of course, we are secretly pleased that
> > many of
> > > > the
> > >
> > > > >beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal
> > brethren.
> > > > And don't
> > >
> > > > >Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet
> > > smell
> > > > of
> > >
> > > > >cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in
> > > festive
> > > > moods.
> > >
> > > > >A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and
> > onions.
> > > > The home,
> > >
> > > > >as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >9. Women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Women burn their
> > > eyes and
> > > > cut
> > >
> > > > >their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkas on Chanukah.
> > > > Another
> > >
> > > > >reminder of our suffering through the ages.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >10. Parents deliver to their children during Christmas. Jewish
> > > > parents have
> > >
> > > > >no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight nights.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce
> > > names
> > > > such as
> > >
> > > > >Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah story are
> > > > Antiochus,
> > >
> > > > >Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or
> > > pronounce
> > > > it. On
> > >
> > > > >the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they
> > > believe we
> > > > are
> > >
> > > > >wonderfully versed in our history.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews think,
> > > "Joseph,
> > > >
> > >
> > > > >Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn't
> > > sleep with
> > > > her,
> > >
> > > > >and now you want to blame G-d. Here's the number of my shrink."
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >13. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more
> > > > commercialized. The
> > >
> > > > >same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor
> > > holiday. It
> > > > makes
> > >
> > > > >sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur?
> > > Forget
> > > > about
> > >
> > > > >celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve
> > > yourself for
> > > > 27
> > >
> > > > >hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest,
> > > confess
> > > > your
> > >
> > > > >sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets a
> > > mere
> > > > $200
> > >
> > > > >per person.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> >
>
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