My best friend, who I've known since 13 (and I'm now 35) doesn't want kids (nor does his wife, so that all worked out very well for him). Nor does he want a house. He prefers an apartment, and the convenience of calling the landlord or super to fix things when they break.
And just as much as I can't imagine how people would want to -not- have children, he can't imagine why people would. The (many many) responsibilities, the cost, the loss of 'freedom', etc. And where I want to (and do) own a home vs renting an apartment...he can't understand that either. Why would somebody want to spend an entire weekend maintaining a yard, fixing broken things, etc.
Point being...we all make our own decisions. Just because you* can't understand how somebody could possibly choose 'option A', odds are they can't understand why you would choose 'option B'. I haven't really been following the thread too closely, but if it's come down to "how can you possibly choose <fill in the blank> over <opposite of fill in the blank>"...hopefully the above illustrates something. My friend and I have the utmost respect for each other, and I'm confident in saying we'll be friends until we're both dead. But some of the things we want in life couldn't be more polar opposites. Doesn't matter. He doesn't have to understand my reasoning, nor do I have to understand his. But we respect each other's decisions.
* that's 'you' in the general sense...I'm not addressing anybody in particular : )
----- Original Message -----
From: Jim Campbell
To: CF-Community
Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 9:18 AM
Subject: Re: Having kids (was RE: Exploring Frugality)
Wouldn't you be a bit hostile if someone implied that your decisions
about your life were less than ideal or somehow unacceptable?
- Jim
Frodo wrote:
>Are we getting hostile?
>
>--Original Message Text---
>From: Erika L Walker-Arnold
>Date: Thu, 18 Dec 2003 10:59:08 -0500
>
>Yes, I know quite well what I am missing.
>I raised my sister.
>I have had enough diapers in my life helping out other friends and
>babysitting.
>I have dealt with screamin obnoxious cousins and other people's
>children.
>
>
>NONE of that, absolutely NONE of that holds any appeal to Phil or me.
>And the standard "but they were'nt your own flesh and blood" stance
>doesn't hold any water. Like I said, I helped raise my sister. Did the
>flesh and blood thing.
>
>
>This is an area where y'all are going to have to let some people have
>their own views on the subject and not subject them to ridicule or roll
>your eyes or say "you don't know what you are missing" ... because when
>someone has a very strong feeling about how they should live, and
>they've done their homework and searched their soul for reasons why ....
>it means a WHOLE HELL OF A LOT to them, and it's OUR personal choice.
>Discussed to death.
>
>
>I wholeheatedly agree with Dan ... Phil and I want to spend our hard
>earned money on our selves. I don't care about grandchildren or leaving
>a bit of myself on this earth after I die. I'll be dead. Who cares. Our
>money can go to charity.
>
>Cheers,
>Erika
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Frodo [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 10:35 AM
>To: CF-Community
>Subject: RE: Exploring Frugality
>
>You don't know what your missing...
>
>--Original Message Text---
>From: Dan Phillips
>Date: Thu, 18 Dec 2003 10:34:25 -0500
>
>I'm the same way. I now have a 13-year old stepson but he is house
>trained and takes the garbage out when asked. He is also a good source
>for video game cheats :-)
>
>Other than that, I want no young spawn running around. Most of it is
>selfish, I want quiet and I want to be able to spend all my money on
>myself and Amy.
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Erika L Walker-Arnold [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2003 9:31 PM
>To: CF-Community
>Subject: RE: Exploring Frugality
>
>Oh no. That's not missing. At all.
>We are allergic to kids. Very ALLERGIC..
>I was not put on this earth to pro-create. Ever.
>
>And I am deadly serious on this matter.
>
>Cheers,
>Erika
>
>--------------------------------------------------
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Earl, George [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>Hmmm, sounds like the only thing missing is a little Erika and Philip
>running around . . . :-) . . . (ducks) . . .
> _____
> _____
>
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