Nan,
I do not see a wedding ring as a symbol of possession by my husband,
because he wears a ring as well and because to me it is a symbol of
commitment and so many other things. I could never understand the tradition
of a girl wearing a boy's class ring in high school though; for that to me
symbolized possession in a sense. I didn't always have such a positive view
of marriage though Nan, and can certainly understand (as best as I can)
your feelings of possession by men of women.
Also, a personal note on the notion of men staying home with kids as
opposed to working. My father worked full time during my child hood and my
parent's marriage. He supported his family very well financially because he
worked hard and that's what he knew how to do well. He didn't have the
patience or the ability to be a "Mr. Mom". I also remember a quote from the
movie Parenthood where Steve Martin and his wife (can't remember the
actress's name) are arguing because he had quit his job and they were about
to have another baby. She was a full time mom and wanted him to ask for
his job back. I remember him saying that because he was a man, his life was
full of "have to's" in regards to work and opportunities. I do not mean to
compare fantasy to reality, but as much as I think men would make great
stay at home parents, I think many of them feel that their role is to
support their families. I don't have many memories of my dad taking my
brothers and I anywhere or playing with us, but I do remember him always
making sure we were spoiled materially. It took me a long time to come to
terms with that and understand and appreciate him in a new way. I am not
saying that all men are like this and I am not trying to generalize
anything, but as always, just my thoughts on this interesting topic.
kimberly
----------
> From: Nan Swane <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: STUDIES IN WOMEN AND ENVIRONMENT <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Subject: Re: women oppressing women
> Date: Sunday, March 14, 1999 10:23 AM
>
> Hi all. Nicole asked what bothered me about wearing a wedding ring.
> To me it symbolizes a man's possession of a woman, instead of love.
> I'm sure most people do not consciously think that, but I do believe
> it is an element in rings.
> I brought up this whole uncomfortable topic because it bothers me
> about myself. Most feminists I know do not have this attitude...they
> are loving and accepting of all women whatever they choose. So I feel
> like a sexist troll for thinking this way. I am trying to change, so
> any suggestions will help. Thanks all! Nan
>
>
>
>
>
> ==
> Nan Swane, DVM
> Pet Haven Veterinary Clinic and Humane Society
> Nampa, Idaho 83651
> 208-466-2948
> [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Please spay/neuter all pets before even one litter!
>
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