great one. thanks.
On Oct 27, 6:32 pm, "Liz Purkrabek" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of
> Jessica
> Sent: Monday, October 27, 2008 4:19 PM
> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Subject: [skeptics-145] Fwd: Enjoy the read!
>
> Sent: Monday, October 27, 2008 11:47 AM
> Subject: Enjoy the read!
>
> Dear Red States:
>
> We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're
> taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that
> includesCalifornia, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,
> Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be
> beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of
> New California.
>
> To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get
> stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You
> get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard.
> You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and
> entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you
> get to make the red states pay their fair share.
>
> Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
> Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
> moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war,
> and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need
> people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently
> willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you
> don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you
> success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to
> spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
>
> With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the
> country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92
> percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines
> (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90
> percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all
> living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools
> plus Stanford , Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand,you
> will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their
> projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100
> percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all
> Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush
> Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We
> get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
>
> Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
> actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
> we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that
> evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and
> 61 percent of you crazies believe you are people with higher morals then we
> lefties.
>
> Peace out,
>
> Blue States
>
> --
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> This message was sent by Jessica ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) from The Olive
> Branch Atheists Meetup Group <http://skeptics.meetup.com/145/> .
> To learn more about Jessica , visit his/her member profile
> <http://skeptics.meetup.com/145/members/5834540/>
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