---------------------------------
[34] Ruud at Utd press conference
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"It feels fantastic. Last year I was so close to joining and it was a big
disappointment that it didn't come true. This is the best thing that has happened to
me. I was always confident I would sign for the club because when you get support from
the people here, it made me determined to fight and come back stronger. It is a dream
to play in this team.
I want to win the double with my own team and then I will look forward to next season.
The Premier League is the type of football I like, all the teams want to play and it
is open. That fits with my thoughts on how football should be played."
---------------------------------
[33] Fergie on Ruud
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"Ruud is a goalscorer and a good team player which I think is important. He has good
presense and is quick. He has most things that you would look for in a striker. I've
read about comparisons with Marco van Basten and you would like to think Ruud turns
out as good as him. If he does it would be absolutely great news for Manchester
United.
Van Basten was an unbelievable striker. For me he was one of the best ever. It is
good that some people are comparing Ruud in that light. But the important thing is he
has his own identity as a player anyway. Whatever he forges in his career will be as
Ruud van Nistelrooy and then people will be saying that players who come after him
will be looking to be the new Ruud van Nistelrooy. That's what great players can do
and I hope Ruud will do the same. Certainly coming to Old Trafford will give him the
right platform to do that.
There is a general enthusiasm that we want to improve ourselves at European level.
That goes without saying and I hope that Ruud goes a
long way to help ensure that. At 24 years of age he is a good age. The best years are
ahead of him. We are looking for him to improve us next season. He's a year older
than when we were initially hoping to take him but he's still young enough and I hope
that he fits in straight away. We expect him to do well.
The great benefit we have had over the past years since winning the
Premiership for the first time in 1993 is that when we bring players in they are not
being brought in to bring salvation. I am not the slightest bit concerned if it takes
him a month or two to settle in."
---------------------------------
[32] And Joe Royle said
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"There has been no need to speak to the players about next season and where we might
be in terms of a division because they are under contract and none of their deals are
conditional to a division. If the worst comes to the worst I wouldn't expect anything
else but the players to confirm their future is here. When you sign a contract you
sign for a club not a division."
Tell that to them as they all queue up come the end of the season!
---------------------------------
[31] The bookies are always right
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
city are 150-1 to escape the drop, and 1-150 on going down, according to the MEN.
Meaning that if you back our hunch and back them to go down, you'd actually lose money
so certain are the bookies that they will!
---------------------------------
[30] Psycho Pearce on Bitters game
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From Soccernet
"I am desperate to win a game. If we win, we are safe and that will put City down. I
certainly know if we get a result I wouldn't shed a
tear for Manchester City."
And so say all of us.
---------------------------------
[29] Wenger wants to match Utd
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
On Ruud deal
"Yes, I could see myself paying that kind of fee for a player. Of course, it always
depends on what kind of money you have available, what kind of person you want. But
we would match the money United paid if we thought that is what we need to do to be
special."
---------------------------------
[28] And more from Ruud
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"When I told the rest of my team-mates in the Dutch squad that I was joining United
next season, they were all really enthusiastic. They all stood up and applauded me
into the dining room. That was great for me, a really good feeling. They've been
teasing me about it for a few days now, particularly Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, Mario
Melchiot and Sander West-erveld. They've been warning me what to expect when I play
against them next season and what they're going to do to me!'
I know there are some people in England who doubt whether I will be the player I was
before the injury. That was why the goal against Cyprus (during Wednesday's 4-0
victory in Eindhoven) was so important. I think I've shown United that I'm back at
the top of my game. When you get the chance to play for a club like that you know you
are moving to the highest level in the game."
---------------------------------
[27] Clough on Keano
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
The old vodka bottle himself
Brian Clough:
"I couldn't believe my big ears when Fergie said he had not seen the
tackle and that the secretary thought it was a sending-off. It was among the worst
fouls I have seen in all my time playing, managing and watching football.
Of course Keane can play. I wouldn't have signed him and Fergie wouldn't have paid
nearly £4m for him if not. But they say Al Capone did some good things in his life.
Trouble was he would go out in the streets and shoot people. Keane is becoming
United's Al Capone - and Sir Alex's reputation is at stake here."
It says how ridiculous debate can get in football - now suddenly Keano gets compared
to a bloody mass murderer. If the debate ain't sensible - let's just sod these ABUs
off.
---------------------------------
[26] Crerand says Keano wrong
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"First of all, I think this article is a few weeks old even though it's been written
to look like he said it yesterday. That said, I don't think Roy should have said these
things. I know he said similar things after the Bayern Munich game because he was
annoyed at losing.
I think Roy should keep these things to himself and you can upset players very easily.
I hope the players don't take it the wrong way and I'm sure they are professional
enough to react the right way. I don't agree with him on this point and United have
just won the league for the third year in a row. He is right, though, that complacency
can come in when things are very, very easy and without realising it, it can happen.
I think Roy is most upset by the fact that he didn't play in the European Cup final. I
can relate to Denis Law when he didn't play in the 1968 final. Denis believed he
should not have got a winner's medal because he didn't play in the final. Roy is just
the same, even though he played in every game up to the final. He was also one of the
main reasons why United got to the final because of his display against Juventus. That
will be in his head for the rest of his career and he really wants to play in a
European Cup final.
This is typical of players and I remember Bryan Robson said he would never think he
had won anything until he got a league championship medal. This is how Roy thinks and
I think this is why he is so annoyed and disappointed to go out of the Champions
League."
---------------------------------
[25] Goram talks out of turn
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
In an interview in the May edition of Rangers Monthly, Goram said:
"The 1992-93 Rangers team would have beaten today's United and if we'd had Gazza and
Laudrup, we would have won the European Cup. We had an exceptional team. It was
amazing and we played so well together, plus the spirit in the dressing room was
incredible. I believe Gazza and Laudo could easily fit into this Man United team as
they were such extremely gifted players.
Having said that, the United side remind me so much of the nine-ina-
row team. They have also been great to me. I was accepted as one of the gang straight
away. Becks and Giggsy are different from the way
they are portrayed. They are very down-to-earth boys who are just
doing a job. But you don't realise how talented they are until you
train with them."
---------------------------------
[24] Nedved on the move?
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
Pavel Nedved:
"At this point I don't think it is right to exclude anything - there have been
approaches from Italy and from abroad and I can't ignore that aspect. Maybe the right
way to describe my relationship with Lazio is as a true love affair. But I am at a
point in my career where it is right to use reason. That is why I need to think well
about my next move. I know that Lazio are happy with me but they have to understand
what I expect."
---------------------------------
[23] Mellorphant hates United, again
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
The Tory one in ABU mode, again
"A dozen years ago I was at a game in the Midlands, and my host
couldn't wait to tell me about a brilliant kid the club had
discovered while on an overseas tour.
He was a 16-year-old who'd already played 20 times for his country
and, in an exhibition match, had pulled some seasoned English
professionals every which way.
They wanted him to come to England and the boy wanted to make the
most of his big break. But work permit problems threatened to stop
the whole thing.
I, and I'm quite sure a lot of others as well, since Aston Villa
chairman Doug Ellis isn't easily denied, put a word in, Dwight Yorke
arrived and the rest is history.
For the most part it's a happy story. Yorke, always playing with a
smile on his face, fulfilled his potential at Villa Park and became
one of the Premiership's most respected and effective strikers.
The call came from Old Trafford and Yorke made a wonderful start at
Manchester United. But then it all went wrong. Even the Trinidadian
and Tobagan had his level head turned. We began to read more about
his scoring exploits in motorway hotels than on the pitch.
He kept returning to the Caribbean on international duty and never
quite managed to get back on time. The goals began to dry up and the
dissatisfaction of United manager Sir Alex Ferguson began to grow and
be made ever more public.
Quite soon now, I suspect, Yorke will be out on his ear.
One shouldn't feel too sorry for a man who will no doubt find a well-
paid berth elsewhere. But when this 29-year-old, cheerful,
uncomplicated guy can't cope with football's pressures and is
beginning to nosedive years before he should, you get some idea of
the destructive power of loads of money, too much adulation and too
little work.
That begs the question: if Yorke can't cope with it, who in the
longer run do we think can?
My sympathy for Yorke doesn't extend to Roy Keane. There's something
nasty about him that no amount of fame and success can eradicate and
that unpleasant, I teeter on the brink of saying criminal, side was
apparent on Saturday.
If that 'tackle' on Alfie Haaland wasn't a premeditated assault, I
wasted all those years studying criminal law. Not content with a
challenge which could have been career threatening, Keane went over
and added a few verbals, which Haaland, to his credit, won't repeat,
but which made Keane's attitude all too obvious.
In that moment he threw down a gauntlet to the authorities. Are they
serious about discipline or not?
Keane has been lucky before - I think of his outrageous behaviour
last year towards referee Andy D'Urso which went unpunished. They
can't afford to let him off again.
In total he collected a four-match ban for the Haaland offence but on
my 5 Live phone-in on Wednesday even United season-ticket holders
were acknowledging a much longer ban was required to demonstrate this
sort of behaviour won't be tolerated.
It's said United will fine him two weeks' wages. Big deal. The
inadequacy of such a punishment shows yet again why the Professional
Footballers' Association must be taken on over imposing a limit on
bigger fines. In no other industry would such a thing be tolerated.
Why should football be different when the consequences of such
feebleness were there for all to see on Saturday as Haaland hit the
deck?"
---------------------------------
[22] More from Ruud
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From 365 interview
"I owe a great deal to PSV. When I got injured they made sure I had the best medical
support. They did everything in their power to make sure my rehabilitation went
incredibly well. I never thought the injury was anything more than a set-back. A few
years ago, cruciate ligament damage was seen as a far more serious injury, nowadays
most players are able, given the right care, to make a full recovery. You have to be
strong because it can drain you physically and mentally. You know with an injury of
this kind it's going to take a long period of time before you are back playing again
but you just have to be strong and determined.
I had set my heart on the move to United and when it all broke down
I did wonder if I would ever make the move. I have to say that for all the
encouragement, the most encouraging were the calls and visits by Alex Ferguson. If he
wasn't worrying about me, he was ringing my agent to find out the latest on my injury
and how I was coming on. Of course, I had an agreement in place with PSV and they
were good enough to honour it.
When negotiations started with United they were my only choice even though I could
have gone to other clubs. PSV said to me that it was my choice. They could have held
out for more money, and even now I think a couple of Italian clubs and Real were
happy to match or beat the offer from Manchester United."
---------------------------------
[21] Ruud on first team chances
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"I think I will get better in England. I don't assume that at £19m I will be an
automatic choice. I know I will have to work hard, that I will have to justify my
place in the side, but pressure has never worried me. If I was worried about pressure
I wouldn't have joined Manchester United.
I am my harshest critic. The demands and pressure I put on myself are greater than
any critic could put upon me. But I'm a very determined person. Once I set my heart
on something that is it, I won't change my mind. Of course it's sad that I'm leaving
PSV because without them I wouldn't be in the position I'm in, but I think they knew
that the only way I would get better is if I moved to a more competitive league. The
competition is limited in Holland with only a few clubs competing for the major
honours. In England there are so many good teams that the level is a step up. I have
been at PSV since I was 20 and I have become a better player during those four years."
---------------------------------
[20] Viduka - bye, bye Sheep?
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
Leeds striker Mark Viduka:
"It's always very nice for a player when a team like Real Madrid are interested in
you. Also, we shouldn't forget that they are the best team in the world and the most
important. All players want to progress and to go to the best team in the world would
be very good for me. We can't forget that it would be a giant step in my career. I
think it's an incredible team. We played against them in the Champions League and
although we didn't play badly you could see that Del Bosque's team were a great
outfit. I think that all the world knows who Real Madrid are so we don't need to say
too much about that."
Nothing about the Sheep then!
---------------------------------
[19] And Lazer (Deacon) Blue said
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
TheBirdman has gone and done it again!!-
(although.......I really should get out more)
There's a man I meet,
Walks up our street,
He's a Man Siddy Fan,
Has been twenty five years,
And he takes sh-t off everybody,
They call him the local nutter,
He loses his rag,
And always seems to stutter,
And he packs his flask and butties,
The children call him "Bertie",
He never lets on,
But I know 'cause he once told me,
He let me know a secret, about the money in his bum bag.
He's gonna buy a dinghy,
Gonna call her MASSIVE.
And he'll sail her up the Ship Canal,
Through villages and towns,
We'll be on Euro aways,
His siddy myths will be doing the rounds,
They'll ask him how he named her, he'll say, "after siddy",
They'll say isn't she tiny, that ship called MASSIVE.
He'll be telling his stories,
In a faraway scene,
Sipping down Bitter,
And reading King of the Kippax,
And he'll be thinking about home and what Stockport means,
And a place in the winter for MASSIVE
And he'll sail her up the Bridgewater
Through villages and towns,
We'll be lifting trophies
He'll be pilling on pounds
They'll ask him how he got her he'll say, "your not from
Manchester",
They'll say isn't she sinking that ship just likeCity
(Instrumental)
Set it up, set it up, set it up, set it up, set it up, set it up,
Set it up again, set it up again, set it up again, set it up again,
Set it up, set it up, set it up, set it up, set it up, set it up,
Set it up again, set it up again, set it up again, set it up again,
And I'm thinking about rags
And I'm thinking about goin' down
And I'm thinking about failure
And I'm thinking about how good it would be,
To win a trophy some day,
With my ship called MASSIVE,
A ship called ,MASSIVE
Ohh.. What sh-ttttttttt!.
---------------------------------
[18] Keano on the past and fans
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"There is no point in looking back or revelling in the past. You
have to look forward. It's nice to win all those medals and awards, but I forget about
them as soon as I've won them. I don't need reminders about them. In comparison to
George Best, I won't be remembered, and that's fine, why should I be?
...there have been a lot of great captains at United, Steve
Bruce, Bryan Robson, Eric Cantona. The treble was two years ago.
You have to look to the future. That's the problem with people, they're always
looking back too far. Look at United, they won the European Cup in 1968 and didn't
stop going on about it until we won it two years ago.
People need to set their standards a bit higher and not live in the past. Whoever said
I want to be remembered? Why should I worry about what people think about me in the
future? I might be dead tomorrow.
The Old Trafford fans are more concerned about what they're going to eat during
half-time. I was on about fans not supporting us because they're more concerned about
what they're going to eat at half-time. You see these fans getting into their seats
15 minutes into the second
half. If you're going to watch a match, why don't you watch the whole bloody 90
minutes? It wasn't just the corporate fans, but all of them. In that game against
Kiev we were under the cosh and needed their support. It's no use getting behind the
team when we're winning 5-0. A lot of people said: 'Oh he drives this car, he lives
in this house, he earns this much'. But it had nothing to do with money."
---------------------------------
[17] Keano on work
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"If you go to any office, not everyone is going to like each other. It is the same at
United. Not everyone is pals. You don't have to be best mates, you just have to share
the same aim of winning trophies. I have made no special effort to sort it out. Look,
I'm not a counsellor or anything. I'm just an ordinary human being, a footballer.
I have had clashes with others, so I'm not one to talk. Everyone has their own lives.
Anyway, I don't think I've ever given any of them my phone number. I'm not comfortable
with the adulation footballer's receive. Some might enjoy it, but I certainly don't. I
like the respect you get for being a footballer, but the rest of it is a load of
c.rap. I wouldn't idolise a footballer or make them my hero if I was a fan myself.
You won't ever see me in the pages of OK! or Hello. Not unless I'm struggling for a
few quid. I've been offered that, but I've always said no. But I would never knock
footballers for doing that. Good luck to them. It's a short career and these magazines
offer good money.
It's just something that I don't want to do - even though my wife buys all these
bloody magazines herself. The new manager might have new ideas that don't include me.
Maybe one day I'll move on, maybe to Celtic - that is an option - but as long as
United want me I'll stay.
I'm not naive enough to think the club will always want me. If things don't go well
the club could approach me and say: 'Thanks Roy, but we'll see you later.' You just
don't know what will happen. I'm probably as guilty as anyone of not performing on the
European stage, so you have to prepare for the worst.
The players have enough on their hands doing their own job and we don't do that
properly sometimes, so I wouldn't trust us to pick a manager."
---------------------------------
[16] More from Keano
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"The winning never stays long in my memory, whereas the defeats linger for a long
time. I have had my fair share of disappointments. We've lost the league a couple of
times, lost two Cup finals, been knocked out of Europe quite a few times. Sadly I just
seem to remember the bad things that have happened.
We really have to be careful not to think that our success, and us as a team, is going
to go on and on. We really have to start dominating
Europe as well as the Premiership. It is up to the manager to know when to move
people on, and he is strong enough to know when to do it. Sometimes you don't realise
it, maybe it's already coming to the end. I'm not being over-dramatic."
---------------------------------
[15] Red News comment
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
Once again Keano has come out, this time in an interview with 442, all guns a blazing
and once again we support him in nearly all that he says. We do disagree with his
comments that it is all fans who collectively share responsibility for the lack of
support - you only have to look at the hard workers in J, K and Tier 2 to know that
there is an element always desperate to try and get things going - but an emptying Old
Trafford for every game whilst people leave early backs him up.
As for his broadside at his team-mates, some say that's unprofressional. Why? If they
haven't obviously listened behind closed doors this season then why not publicly?
Equally there are suggestions that he's doing this to hasten a move - what bollocks.
He is speaking out time and time again because he cares - as much as anyone at the
club. And long may it continue. The team this season have needed at times a kick up
the arse - it is the role of the captain to do just that.
---------------------------------
[14] SU back Keano
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From PA
'Roy Keane's accusation that some Manchester United fans do not give the team enough
support at matches has been backed by Shareholders United. Keane claims some fans are
more concerned about what they are going to eat at half-time than with watching the
game.
Shareholders United claim Keane is right and that the club should provide better
facilities to prevent people missing any of the action.
Spokesman Oliver Houston said: "Fans have a lot of sympathy with what Roy is saying.
It seems strange that some fans complain about ever-increasing ticket prices for a
90-minute spectacle and then miss five minutes either side of half-time.
Some leave early to get to the car parks and you would have thought they had learnt
their lesson after the dramatic finale in the Nou Camp. The problem could be addressed
with better facilities so people aren't having to queue for food at half-time and so
miss the match. We've argued for some time that the club should provide better
facilities and get people into the ground earlier rather than having them rush in and
then rush out near the end."
---------------------------------
[13] Latest team news
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From Ananova
'Middlesbrough will be without suspended midfielder Christian Karembeu as they attempt
to secure their Premiership future against Manchester United at the Riverside Stadium.
Curtis Fleming and Keith O'Neill (both hamstring) and Gianluca Festa (groin) are all
out, but Steve Vickers, Paul Ince, Paul Okon and Hamilton Ricard are all expected to
shake off knocks.
Meanwhile, Sir Alex Ferguson could be forced into changes for Manchester United's
Premiership clash at Middlesbrough.
Skipper Roy Keane and England defender Gary Neville are both injured and there is a
doubt over goalkeeper Fabien Barthez. The United manager will wait until the last
minute before naming his side with Barthez the most likely to make it after picking up
a slight groin injury during France's friendly against Portugal in midweek. He will
have a fitness check after training today.
Keane is having treatment for a hamstring injury to add to his woes after being sent
off in the 1-1 draw with Manchester City last Saturday. He starts a four-match ban
next weekend and if he fails to make it for Saturday will not play a Premiership game
until the second fixture of next season.
Boro team (from): Schwarzer, Crossley, Gordon, Gavin, Vickers, Cooper, Ehiogu, Mustoe,
Ince, Okon, Stamp, Windass, Whelan, Boksic, Ricard, Deane, Job, Marinelli, Stockdale.
Team (from): Barthez, P Neville, Stam, Brown, Silvestre, Beckham, Scholes, Butt,
Giggs, Cole, Sheringham, Solskjaer, Keane, Irwin, Yorke, Chadwick, Johnsen, van der
Gouw'
---------------------------------
[12] Keano in new boss hint
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"Steve McClaren is a very good coach, and I know he's interested. If it were a foreign
coach it would have to be a really top coach, but I would have no problems with a
foreign manager. I would be open-minded."
---------------------------------
[11] Keano blasts team again
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From an interview in the June edition of Four Four Two magazine, The Mirror quotes
>Keane as saying: "I have seen United players getting complacent, thinking they've
>done it all and getting carried away by a bit of success. All you have to do is drop
>your standards by five or 10 per cent and it's obvious, especially in Europe. You can
>carry maybe one player, but no more than that.
You can see it in training when players just go through the motions. You can't do
that, you always have to give your best. It's up to the manager to spot it. Maybe I'll
help him, but ultimately the only person who can sort it out is the player himself.
Real desire has to come from within.
We really have to be careful not to think that our success, and us as a team, is going
to go on and on. We really have to start dominating Europe as well as the Premiership.
It is up to the manager to know when to move people on, and he is strong enough to
know when to do it. Sometimes you don't realise it, maybe it's already coming to the
end. I'm not being over-dramatic. A few players have tied themselves to long-term
contracts, but contracts mean nothing now. All the players know that the club could
come up to them at any time and say: 'Thanks for the memories, but we're shipping you
out'."
---------------------------------
[10] Overmars on Ruud
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"By signing Ruud, United are getting stronger. United have dominated for three seasons
now. Maybe in England they are hoping that another team will get close to them and
develop a good rivalry to them. In the last few years United have been a lot of points
clear. Arsene Wenger has said it also, but the fact is that United are getting
stronger and stronger and becoming even more difficult to catch.
Liverpool are a team that are still progressing. They've come a long way in the last
two years and you can see that they will get better. But United will still be the
favourites for next season. I've spoken with a few of the Arsenal players about the
situation. I think they will definitely do something in the transfer market this
season.
"They have a good squad but they have to keep on improving over the course of the
season. Ruud's talent is scoring goals. That's the main thing. He's a young player
who's developed himself very well over just a few years. It's great to see the way he
is compared to last year. A year ago everything went so far downhill for him, it all
went against him.
Just look at the difference, he was right down at the bottom, and now he is back at
the other end of the slope. What's also good for him is that he'll be able to get in a
proper pre-season with his new club and start the league. I've no worries for him
about that. He will get stronger and stronger. Against Cyprus, he showed his ability
to find space in the box. He had three chances in just a few minutes and that showed
his movement."
---------------------------------
[9] Ruud - no goal targets
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
"My game is about lots of movement and also scoring goals. I have not played in the
Premier League so I do not know what to think, I must wait for the first few games. I
can't say that I'll score 20 or 30, I don't know. I want to score as much as I can, so
every chance I get in the Premier League next year I want to score and at the end of
the season say 'it was a good season, I scored from almost all the chances I got' and
we will see how many I end with."
---------------------------------
[8] Ask Jeeves
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
Get clicking on the Ask Jeeves below, any bizarre question will do!
ASK JEEVES by Kerry
Now that even Red News has gone electronic and got itself an Internet prescence, I
thought it about time to test out some of the more interactive sites (no, not THOSE
interactive sites!) that have hit cyberspace. One of the more well known of these is
called Ask Jeeves
(click on the link below the news). Now for those of you yet to dip your toes into
the water that is the Internet, a brief explanation of what this is all about may be
required. Put simply, Ask Jeeves is a website that lets you ask it any question you
like - when you submit your particular question, it then goes off, has a quick look
around the entire Internet (this is the clever bit) and brings you back a list of
sites that it hopes answer your enquiry.
This seemed like a good opportunity to see just how clever, or indeed
accurate Mr Jeeves actually was, so I set about asking it a set of
carefully considered questions.
To start off with, it seemed only natural to try and help our bitter
cousins, so I asked 'why are city massive?'. I was amused to be pointed in the
direction of TSJs Massive Song page from the m-u-f-c site but also discovered that
there was actually a place called Massive City, near Denver in the USA. The parallels
between the two 'massives' were incredible:
A Denver newspaper predicted in 1879 that Massive City would be second to none, among
the new boom cities of Colorado. The prediction read: "It is expected by those who
know that there will be one thousand men there next season, hunting for hidden
treasure. . . . and it will hold a population of ten thousand souls ere the chilly
winds of December again return, there can be found no rational reason for a doubt".
Despite the press notices, Massive City fell far short of expectations. By the end of
the summer of 1880, however, it was discovered that most of the claims weren't worth
developing and the rich properties weren't as extensive as first believed. By 1881,
most of the population was fed up with Massive City and its false promises and moved
elsewhere and Massive City died quietly.'
Continuing on a similar theme, I asked 'why city were shit' I was directed to
shitcity.com - apparently the ultimate scat megasite which seemed strangely
appropriate!
Moving on to those at the wrong end of the East Lancs road, the first
response to 'why are scousers thieves' directed me to a site that contained no fewer
than 14 pages of anti scouser jokes, a truly excellent reply. When quizzed to 'why
Liverpool aren't famous any more?' Jeeves helpfully suggested that I go to a site that
offers advice on handling rejection - something I imagine scousers experience on a
regular basis! My faithful butler was doing pretty well...
So, all in all I was quite impressed with old Jeeves, he certainly came up with some
pretty accurate suggestions to help me with my studies! There are also a few more
things that he may just be able to help me with...now then, 'where can I find the
most...?...!!!
---------------------------------
[7] Fab does another TV interview
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
Fab was on TV last night in France - live show "Nulle Part Ailleurs" on canal +. Will
he play on Saturday if he is still in Paris on thursday?
---------------------------------
[6] El Till likes United
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
Terry Venables:
"You need fresh faces to drive the competition within the club forward. People are
looking over their shoulders and not being sure of a place, and that breeds better
performances. The performances they've given have always been excellent, and what
they're saying is 'Don't even dream of getting complacent. In fact, we're not just
going to tell you that, we're going to bring people along so you can see for yourself.
You can't be, you're not going to be allowed to'. Those boys that really know what it
means - the boys who have come through the ranks, the stomach of the team, the engine
room - they know what's needed."
---------------------------------
[5] PLC sign Ruud for his shirt name?
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
Expect us to go in for Markus kjhfiuhiduhgiusdhgiushgiuhguih next week...
'Ruud van Nistelrooy's lengthy name is proving a problem for Manchester United fans
who want it emblazoned across the back of replica shirts. The surname of the £19
million signing won't fit on most sizes. With 13 letters and one space it will fit
only on the extra-large version.'
at extra price?
'But the problem should soon be solved - United's megastore at Old Trafford has
ordered a batch of smaller letters, although it could be a while before they arrive.
United spokesman Patrick Harverson told the Manchester Evening News: "We can't sell
the children's size shirt because his name doesn't fit. So we have had to order the
extra small lettering which should be available in seven to 10 days."
Call us Sherlock Holmes but why don't Reds simply go for - Ruud - quite apt for many
of the Red Army in fact.
---------------------------------
[4] Ruud report
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From our man on the spot, Mark (well, his spot on the sofa).
"Saw the Holland game last night - specifically when Ruud came on. He looked very
keen and very quick and looking to make a quick point. Only Cyprus but he had about 5
chances in the 20 mins he was on (2 in one go)and every one hit the target (keeper did
well a couple of times). Makes for the near post every time - can't wait to see him
in a Red Shirt."
---------------------------------
[3] Bizarre request
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
This may seem strange but it's for an article we're doing in the next issue of Red
News (77 - out for the Derby game on May 5th) so if anyone has it or ideas how to
trace it let us know at
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
(and remember you can still send us your unique memories and songs of the season today
only at [EMAIL PROTECTED] - thanks!)
Basically we're looking for a photo of a 12 year old Red, dressed up like an xmas
tree, that was the title piece for a photographic exhibition called Manchester United
in camera back in late 79 or 1980 possibly. The thing was organized by the daughter
of then director Denzil Haroun. The other photos in the exhibition were all class,
lots of players, etc, but also loads of fans, the Stretford End and the way the
ground was back then - but if anyone has the shot of that Utd fan can they let us know
- and all will be revealed.
---------------------------------
[2] SPECIAL RED NEWS ONLINE OFFER
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
Our 3 available t-shirts (see the shop section of the site) - If The Reds, Che Govanor
& Utd The Religion - have a combined total of £38.50 including p&p for all 3. Order
them today and we'll throw in a copy of European Glory, the book commemorating the
European Cup win on May 26th 1999 as well.
To order send your address details (incl. email & phone for queries, if possible)
along with your cheque (payable to: Red News) to:
Red News,
PO Box 176,
MANCHESTER
M16 8LG
---------------------------------
[1] George Best gets the key
---------------------------------
Posted Friday, April 27, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From Ananova
'George Best has been given the freedom of the borough where he grew up as a boy.
Castlereagh Council on the outskirts of East Belfast honoured the former Manchester
United star by giving him its highest accolade. The motion, which was proposed by the
Social Democratic and Labour Party and seconded by the Democratic Unionist Party was
passed unanimously.
Best, who has been fighting a high-profile battle to give up alcohol, now lives in his
native Northern Ireland in the Co Down fishing village of Portavogie. The DUP's Deputy
Leader Peter Robinson, a member of Castlereagh Borough Council says it is an ideal way
to honour the area's most famous son, who grew up in the local Cregagh Estate.
He commented: "People in Castlereagh for a very long period of time have recognised
that they have had someone in George Best who was recognised throughout the world as
probably the greatest soccer star, indeed the first superstar in soccer terms that the
world has seen."
