Dear Tina, I am unable to help you with your after pains situation, but I can certainly offer some advice regarding the siblings being present at the birth.
I had my last baby (now 10 months) at the hospital, I was booked into the Moorabbin birth centre but after being in their care until 6 weeks prior to my due date they cancelled me as "too high risk" even though the reasons for the 'high risk' classification were all explained to them at the very first appointment at which stage they were prepared to have me. Anyway, my doctor and my birthplan provided to the hospital included having my children present. I am unaware of the ages of your other children, but mine were 12, 10 and 9 at the time of the birth. I also received funny looks from everyone I told that they would be present and even now when I tell people I still get that response. The midwifes at the hospital immediately assumed that it would be a problem. But I offered my children the option and let them decide, being very involved with pregnancy/birth my children all new what to expect and I made sure that they saw as many 'normal' births on video etc. although natural birth videos are hard to come by. All my children were excited to be part of the birthing process and could not wait for me to go into labour, they kept talking to 'the bump' as we called our baby, telling him/her to hurry up. My children were even fearful that if they were at their fathers (we share care week about) that I would not call them at their dad's especially if it was through the night. I assured them that it was extremely important for me that they be there if that was there wish. At the time, it as actually 2.15am when they were called, and yes they were at their father's (he was very understanding and supportive in my choice) so when they arrived at the hospital, they were raring to pitch in. One of them was on 'hot pack duty', this being the youngest, as I was hanging off a chair and she had to slide along the floor to enable her to place the hot pack on my back. The other was on the ice cold face washer duty and the third on misc. duties. When second stage approached, the eldest could not take his eyes of my birth area, the 10 year old was going back and forth looking, and looking away. The youngest was scared of my guteral screams and hid behind me until the birth. We have the most beautiful photo of all of us taken 10 mins after the birth, and the smiles on my eldest childrens faces are a sight to behold. All children at all stages were given the option to be there or not, to touch or not, etc. etc. With appropriate education and preparation (talking about what to expect, videos etc) there is no reason your children can not be involved unless it is of their own choice. I found it very important to let them decide, so that they did not feel any pressure to be there. All went well and I will never regret the choice that I made to involve them. Good luck with your upcoming addition and don't forget to let us know how it went. -- Yours in Childbirth and with the Love of Friendship Rita «¤†¤ÐÈ£ÏVÊR¥·WÓMÄѤ†¤» Mother of David – 13, Haydie – 11, Alysha – 10 and Baby Tyler 8 months Registered Nurse, Student Midwife (currently in hiatus – due to injury), Aspiring CBE and Doula --------- Original Message -------- From: Marty & Tina <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Subject: [ozmidwifery] Afterbirth pains Date: 23/02/03 16:27 > > > > > > > > Dear All, > > I am hoping you may be able to help. I am > expecting my fourth baby in approx. 2 weeks & need some advise. I > usually experience killer afterbirth pains that often seem worse than the > labour. For this birth I am attending the Birth Centre here in Brisbane > & am planning to birth in the water & birth my placenta > physiologically. I have not had a physiological third stage in the past > (nor a water birth) & I was hoping that this will make a difference to the > afterbirth pains. The acupuncturist I have been visiting has also > suggested Chinese herbs (usually used in labour) to assist with this pain > also... have any of you used Chinese herbs for something like this & if so, > are they safe for breastfeeding? > > Also, my husband & I are planning on having our > 3 other children at our birth & I was thinking that if all goes to plan that > they may like to touch the baby as he/she crowns & is born. Do any of > you experienced with siblings being present find that siblings want to be this > involved? I want my children to find this experience as wonderful & > totally natural as I do. I cannot put into words the way I feel about > birth (as a woman, mother & midwife)... but would somehow like to share > these overwhelming feelings with my children. Do many of the children want > to get into the birth pool / tub during the labour &/or birth? I know > all children are individual (my three certainly are)... but would not like to > limit them & the way they would like to participate just because I have no > idea about the normal reactions of children I have never met anybody who > has had their other children present at their births & I have never cared > for any woman in that situation (in fact almost everyone I tell of > our plans look at me as though I've stepped from another planet). > > Any suggestions welcome.... (I hope my questions > make sense.... brains getting a bit foggy in the lead up to birth). > > Tina H. > -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.