You have such lucky kids Sue - that you had realistic expectations from the outset - most of us learn along the way. Did you sleep with your own parents? I have just finished reading to my 12 year old - he has dyslexia so needs me to read to him. I treasure this time before bed which has evolved from falling asleep on the breast as babies and toddlers (yes ours mostly needed this help to settle til quite a ripe age), to stories and cuddles, then a meditation or bedtime chat. It is the time they talk about their day (properly -not just who got a detention or what homework they have), and release all the stress or excitement so they can make the transition to sleep easily when they are ready. I agree we should toss out the rules and follow our hearts as we connect with babies and children -our cultural "norm" of the solitary sleeping, self-soothing baby is possibly "norm"ative abuse. . Pinky ----- Original Message ----- From: "Sue Cookson" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Thursday, March 18, 2004 8:59 PM Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] sleep stuff
> What can I say? > I never expected my kids to sleep without me. Out of my four kids, one and > three slept with us and only with us for about 3 years each, number two > always had her own ideas and was sleeping through the night without us by 12 > months, and number four breastfed for 4.5 years and slept with us for about > that time. > Why should they go down alone if they feel they need us with them?? They > seem to be total individuals and what fits for one may not and possibly > should not fit for others. Parenting is so full of the need to grow past our > own expectations. > In hindsight, my four kids are now 23, 20, 17 and 14 and no longer sleep in > our beds, are happy individuals with no obvious deviant behaviour (as yet), > seem well bonded to us as parents and so far able to sustain relationships. > I'd have to add that number two is the most independent, but the others are > fairly equal in their demands as kids. > Sometimes I think we have the potential to beat ourselves up so much as > parents, based on peer thoughts and comments. Maybe we should try to tap > into our own intuitive feelings about the rightness of our actions, even if > that means perceiving the 'norm' as not OK (for us or our children). > > Sleep well, > Sue > > > -- > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.
