he he - heres to afternoon delights! Maybe it's a chicken and egg thing and in some instances the baby could be being "used" as an excuse but there would have to be deeper feelings behind the "excuse"/ Actually, after five babies, I am certain my sexual responsiveness post birth was directly related to how many rubber gloved fingers had been in my vagina during labour -not where my babies slept!
Hi Ingrid - Canberra was lovely wasnt it. Pinky ----- Original Message ----- From: "Sylvia Boutsalis" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, March 19, 2004 11:37 AM Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] sleep stuff > Pinky, > I totally agree with you, but as a childbirth educator I have noticed > men displaying frustrated, hostile feelings because of being left out of > the equation once the baby arrives. When a man is pushed aside, > unconsciously of course, they do feel jealous, unwanted and useless. I > know many instances where the baby has taken top priority and a year > later the couple have still yet to resume lovemaking. These men are not > happy. And although many would say they didn't feel like it for months, > then where does that leave the poor guys? > > I would just like to say don't forget the partner in all of this, > because from previous messages it seems men have been pushed out of > their beds, into other rooms, onto the floor. I feel sorry for them. I > bet they didn't imagine having children would be this way. > > Sylvia > ...and no, it's never at night, I'm too tired, but we always go to sleep > holding each other. My husband works from home....lucky me, I have all > day!! > > -----Original Message----- > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pinky McKay > Sent: Friday, 19 March 2004 10:04 AM > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] sleep stuff > > > Silvia - do you only make love in bed? at night time? - after initial > differences between the "romantic love" needs and babies we simply > became more creative. Now I only have a husband to sleep with - and his > respirator -I can tell you thats not particularly conducive to intimacy! > Joking aside, I have had mothers , even those who dont co-sleep, talk > about their affectionate feelings being transferred to the baby > initially anyway and later these feeling return to the partner. Could > this be a natural biological survival mechanism? Pinky > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Sylvia Boutsalis" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Sent: Friday, March 19, 2004 10:10 AM > Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] sleep stuff > > > > I don't mean to be judgmental in relation to co-sleeping but I am > > curious about what happens to the couples relationship? I am not a > > selfish person but I do regard my bed time to be something shared with > > > my husband alone. For me having a child in bed turns my attention > > away from my partner and intimacy and focuses on my child. That is > > not what is supposed to happen. Children take up so much time that > > it's important to be able to find time to nurture our own relationship > > > with our partner, and most of that time is usually at night when the > > children go to bed and when we go to bed. Children are an extension > > of us, not a replacement of our affections. > > > > I would be interested to know how the men in your lives are coping > > with this arrangement. Are they really into it or have they just > > accepted it? > > > > Sylvia > > Mum to Ellie 10, Chris 6 and Evan 4 (who all breastfed, but never > > co-slept) > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Wayne and > > Cas > > Sent: Friday, 19 March 2004 8:48 AM > > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Subject: [ozmidwifery] sleep stuff > > > > > > Well, we tried the side car thing last night and he went down without > > any hassles at 8.30, then woke up at 10pm so I fed him and gently > > rolled him over to the cot and he didn't stir until 5am this morning. > > So far so good. It was the best night's sleep I've had in weeks. > > Thanks for all of your suggestions. > > > > I wanted to add though that sleeping with children and babies is not > > right for everyone. I don't actually know too many adults or children > > that seem affected by the fact their parents made them sleep in a cot > > when they were babies. There is a lot more to parenting than whether > > you co-sleep or not. Ie. If you don't love your kids unconditionally, > > no amount of co-sleeping is going to give the added security a child > > needs. I think we are all individuals and so are our children and we > > just need to work out what best suits them. When Liam was the same age > > > as Daniel he was very hands off, didn't want hugs, didn't want the > > breast a lot and it hurt me at the time but it was what he needed. > > Daniel is a totally different baby. > > > > I will let you know if our good fortune last night continues. > > > > Cheers Cas. > > > > Cas, Wayne, Liam and Daniel McCullough > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > www.casmccullough.com > > > > > > > > -- > > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > > > > > > -- > > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > > -- > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > > > -- > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. 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