Alright, I'm chiming in.
Worth a Mistie Watch
Dead and Deader
Basilisk: The Serpent King
Dragon Sword
Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God
Lake Placid (on loop!)
10.5 Apocalypse (Dean's magic makes it all better)
"Even if you're on a plane, walk out" (LMNAO, BTB!)
Kaw ("Never more", to quote Poe)
Dragon Wars (sooner have my eyes burnt from their sockets with white-hot
needles)
ANYTHING with the name Uwe Boll attached
Wraiths of Roanoke (even the dead folks in the movie asked to have their names
removed from the credits)
A Sound of Thunder (always thought that it was more boomy and less sucky)
100 Million B.C. (all that time... one would think they would've gotten it
right at some point...)
Rise: Blood Hunter (vampyr everywhere protested the making of this, regardless
of the potential risks)
Rock Monster (shuddering)
Pterodactyl (any movie in which Coolio is the best actor in the cast?)
Abominable (aka The Movie Which Lives Up To Its Name)
(LNAO, more to come)
---------[ Received Mail Content ]----------
Subject : Re: [scifinoir2] Stephen Baldwin (was Dragon Wars)
Date : Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:09:33 +0000
From : keithbjohn...@comcast.net
To : scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com
Hey, that's cool. the real trick is knowing which B- movies are really fun camp
for the ages, and which are just crappy schlock.
What we need to do, gang, is start rating these movies for each other on that
level. See, as Martin just did, showing me that at least this Dean Cain flick
is a good time-waster. I've seen others of his that are just plain bad. There
was one where he was a security chief in an underground facility creating
dinosaurs from old DNA. (And isn't Cain always playing a security chief or
soldier in a top-secret facility?) One of the baddies got loose and started
having human snacks. It was so bad because the CGI was horrible, and the used
the *exact same* scene for every appearance of the creature! It was running
down this curving hallway, and every single time the monster was shown, it was
the exact same loop of film. So bad it wasn't even good camp.
So we'll do that. Whoever has sat (suffered) through a SciFi flick can rate it
on "camp" or MST3K factor, so the others can know if it'd be a great laugh riot
on a cold winter's day, or just a woefully bad piece of CGI-filled dreck that's
not even worth watching for derision.
And on that scale, I can drop a couple of films like that:
Worth a Mistie watch:
Rock Monster (though I don't know why, it makes me life)
The Beast of Bray Road (that urban werewolf legend in film)
Leprechaun - yes I said it. Horrible, horrible film, but Warwick Dunn (?) makes
me laugh as the creepy killer sprite. This ain't your daddy's Lucky Charms!
Dragon Sword (I think) - it's the one with Patric Swayze. Again, a bad movie,
but acting is just good enough (it has many established actors) to make it dumb
fun
Epoch - The first couple of these movies about some alien rock thingie
activating on Earth may be a bit befuddling, but star David Keith helps make
'em watchable
Alien Lockdown (think that's it) - there's one or two of these flicks about a
monster loose on an orbiting prison. I think one stars Christopher Lambert.
Dumb fun.
Frankenfish - not sure why I laughed at this one, it's one of the worst ever.
But watching these idiot young people run from a stupid killer fish in the
Louisiana Bayou had me rolling
And from the "Even if you're on a plane, walk out" category:
Dragon Storm - I just wailed on it. American 90210 clones as reincarnation of
Asian warriors and royals? 'Nuff said.
Gargoyles -- not the Cornel West camp classic--that one had great makeup and
high fun, camp factor. The recent remake overflowing with cheap CGI
Harpies - Bad acting, lackluster action, bad CGI
Gryphon - Bad acting (though it has established actors like Larry Drake and
Anthony LePalia's younger brother), lackluster action, bad CGI
That Francis Drake movie --came out last week starring Adrian "Highlander"
Paul. It was awful! The CGI ships and ocean sucked, the characters were
pitiful.
There are many, many more. Basically almost every SciFi Original that's loaded
with cheap CGI instead of good scale models or live action shots, just sucks
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Martin Baxter"
> Keith, you may look askance at this, but I'm *good* with Dean Cain in such
> movies. I think that, instinctively, he knows that these are B-moives, and
> gives
> them the full camp effect. One of those movies aired last weekend on Skiffy.
> Can't remember the title, but he played an Army officer leading a Delta team
> into a Central American country to find the members of a research team that
> hadn't answered calls. They were working on an experimental medicine that
> created zombies. I was foing to pass on t until I heard that Dean was
> starring.
> I admit to two hours of brain-off-the-hook fun. Didn't have to Mistie it.
> Dean
> did that himself.
>
> Ah! "Dead and Deader" was the flick.
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------[ Received Mail Content ]----------
>
> Subject : Re: [scifinoir2] Stephen Baldwin (was Dragon Wars)
>
> Date : Mon, 26 Jan 2009 03:58:20 +0000
>
> From : keithbjohn...@comcast.net
>
> To : scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com
>
>
> I'll see your Stephen Baldwin, and raise you Lorenzo Lamas ("Raptor Island")
> and
> Dean Cain (a whole bunch of cheesy dino flicks). Those guys are in a bunch of
> really bad flicks. And while we're at it, today I was myself (as always)
> lamenting the crappy movies that SciFi serves up. One thing you note pretty
> quickly is that they seem to be going through the cryptid and mythology books
> for inspiration. I mean, look at all the films they've done in the last
> couple
> of years: Gargoyles, Harpies, Gryphon, Wyvern, Basilisk, Minotaur, Baal: The
> Storm God, Chupacabra, Rock Monster--the whole encyclopedia of myth and
> legend.
> And then add in Kaw (killer crows), Frankenfish, Boa vs. Python--you get the
> idea.
>
> Baldwin, Lamas, and myths aside, the biggest problem is that all these movies
> suck! Bad acting, bad writing, and really, really bad CGI. Every monster they
> craft is worse than a the CGI in a five year old video game. Horrible!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -------------- Original message ----------------------
> From: Aubrey Leatherwood
> >
> > Friday night into yesterday was one of those sweat shop writing sessions
> > for
> me.
> > Couch, laptop, grilled meat, strong iced beverage, and remote control. Ahh
> > the
> > remote control... Useful when something is on... Not so useful yesterday.
> > Harpies! Yep, Harpies on Sci Fi. Now
> >
> > Much of the folklore, mythology, even urban legend I've loved to read about
> > since I was tiny, get made into SciFi Channel movies or movies that *make
> > it*
> to
> > SciFi. Harpies, gargoyles, dragons, Merlin (god I hate sam neill but i love
> > miranda richardson), etc... I'm excited by the prospect of them all, which
> > is
> > why--as if I have the memory span of a fruitfly--I watch (or try to watch)
> these
> > programs. I desperately want to suspend my disbelief for an hour or two,
> > get
> > lost in a story, then come back from my odyssey refreshed and entertained.
> > I
> am,
> > yes people, a damn idiot!
> >
> > In comes Stephen Baldwin.
> >
> > I've been trying to figure out how to phrase it for some minutes now, and
> can't
> > seem to do so. I feel like an atrocity has been visited on me. How does
> > this
> guy
> > continue to get work, and why does a ton of it end up on Sci Fi? Why? This
> > guy
> > has made two hundred and seventy million movies. What deal has he made or
> > perhaps one of his more talented brothers (take your pick from the pill
> poppin,
> > punch throwin, drunk dialin baldwin grab bag) with the devil to persist in
> this
> > nonsense.
> >
> > In Harpies he was an NYPD cop that went back in time after accidentally get
> some
> > amulets and inserting them into a glowing egg of some sort. Back in time he
> > demands entry into the Lord's castle by demanding that he let Nicky from
> > the
> > NYPD in. It gets worse, but I won't describe anymore to you. I don't have
> > to,
> > even if you haven't seen it, you know how bad it is.
> >
> > This pointless, directionless rant brought to you by the letter C for
> > craptastic.Aubrey Leatherwoodwww.aubreyleatherwood.comFaceBook * MySpaceThe
> > People You Know, The Sex They HaveROMANTIC TIMES NOMINEE FOR BEST
> > CONTEMPORARY
> > EROTICA 2008ISBN: 978-0-9818905-0-0Lyrical Press. Inc
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
> > Windows Live�: E-mail. Chat. Share. Get more ways to connect.
> > http://windowslive.com/explore?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_t2_allup_explore_012009
>
>
>
>
>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQdwk8Yntds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQdwk8Yntds
