I forgot Earthstorm and Darkstorm. Wasn't one of them about a black hole or
something? They were awful!
Oh--and do you remember that really terrible film with Sean "Lord of the Rings"
Astin and Robert "Chakotay" Beltran? It was about some kind of fire elemental
wreaking havoc. I think the damned thing came to Earth on a solar flare (or
maybe it emerged from beneath the Earth's mantle. Whatever). It was another one
with bad CGI. I told my brother recently that the finger of God writing the Law
in "The Ten Commandments" was better CGI than the elemental in that one!
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: Aubrey Leatherwood <aubrey.leatherw...@hotmail.com>
>
> These are lovely. My list is short because the brain has been damaged from
> weekend viewing.
>
> Mistie
> Epoch (I enjoyed that one, too)
> Dungeons and Dragons the first one... haven't seen that second one yet
> Dragon Storm (Who thought Maxwell Caulfield could find a more demeaning role
> than the nerd turned secret-indentity-wielding hot biker? Still, I didn't
> mind
> it)
>
>
> Even if you're on a plane, walk out:
>
> BloodRayne
> BloodRayne 2
> Any future BloodRaynes
> (Careful folks Stephen King's about to take a beating!) The Langoliers
> Earthstorm (That Damn Stephen Baldwin)
> Darkstorm (That Damn Stephen Baldwin)Gargoyles
> Aubrey Leatherwoodwww.aubreyleatherwood.comFaceBook * MySpaceThe People You
> Know, The Sex They HaveROMANTIC TIMES NOMINEE FOR BEST CONTEMPORARY EROTICA
> 2008ISBN: 978-0-9818905-0-0Lyrical Press. Inc
>
>
>
> To: scifino...@yahoogroups.comfrom: truthseeker...@lycos.comdate: Mon, 26 Jan
> 2009 12:28:37 -0500Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] Stephen Baldwin (was Dragon Wars)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Alright, I'm chiming in.Worth a Mistie WatchDead and DeaderBasilisk: The
> Serpent
> KingDragon SwordDungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon GodLake Placid (on
> loop!)10.5 Apocalypse (Dean's magic makes it all better)"Even if you're on a
> plane, walk out" (LMNAO, BTB!)Kaw ("Never more", to quote Poe)Dragon Wars
> (sooner have my eyes burnt from their sockets with white-hot needles)ANYTHING
> with the name Uwe Boll attachedWraiths of Roanoke (even the dead folks in the
> movie asked to have their names removed from the credits)A Sound of Thunder
> (always thought that it was more boomy and less sucky)100 Million B.C. (all
> that
> time... one would think they would've gotten it right at some point...)Rise:
> Blood Hunter (vampyr everywhe! re protested the making of this, regardless of
> the potential risks)Rock Monster (shuddering)Pterodactyl (any movie in which
> Coolio is the best actor in the cast?)Abominable (aka The Movie Which Lives
> Up
> To Its Name)(LNAO, more to come)
> ---------[ Received Mail Content ]----------Subject : Re: [scifinoir2]
> Stephen
> Baldwin (was Dragon Wars)Date : Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:09:33 +0000From :
> keithbjohn...@comcast.netto : scifino...@yahoogroups.comhey, that's cool. the
> real trick is knowing which B- movies are really fun camp for the ages, and
> which are just crappy schlock. What we need to do, gang, is start rating
> these
> movies for each other on that level. See, as Martin just did, showing me that
> at
> least this Dean Cain flick is a good time-waster. I've seen others of his
> that
> are just plain bad. There was one where he was a security chief in an
> underground facility creating dinosaurs from old DNA. (And isn't Cain always
> playing a security chief or soldier in a top-secret facility?) One of the
> baddies got loose and started having human snacks. It was so bad because the
> CGI
> was horrible, and the used the *exact same* scene for every appearance of the
> creature! It was running down this curving hallway, and every single time the
> monster was shown, it was the exact same loop of film. So bad it wasn't even
> good camp. So we'll do that. Whoever has sat (suffered) through a SciFi flick
> can rate it on "camp" or MST3K factor, so the others can know if it'd be a
> great
> laugh riot on a cold winter's day, or just a woefully bad piece of CGI-filled
> dreck that's not even worth watching for derision. And on that scale, I can
> drop
> a couple of films like that: Worth a Mistie watch: Rock Monster (though I
> don't
> know why, it makes me life) The Beast of Bray Road (that urban werewolf
> legend
> in film) Leprechaun - yes I said it. Horrible, horrible film, but Warwick
> Dunn
> (?) makes me laugh as the creepy killer sprite. This ain't your daddy's Lucky
> Charms! Dragon Sword (I think) - it's the one with Patric Swayze. Again, a
> bad
> movie, but acting is just good enough (it has many established actors) to
> make
> it dumb fun Epoch - The first couple of these movies about some alien rock
> thingie activating on Earth may be a bit befuddling, but star David Keith
> helps
> make 'em watchable Alien Lockdown (think that's it) - there's one or two of
> these flicks about a monster loose on an orbiting prison. I think one stars
> Christopher Lambert. Dumb fun. Frankenfish - not sure why I laughed at this
> one,
> it's one of the worst ever. But watching these idiot young people run from a
> stupid killer fish in the Louisiana Bayou had me rolling And from the "Even
> if
> you're on a plane, walk out" category: Dragon Storm - I just wailed on it.
> American 90210 clones as reincarnation of Asian warriors and royals? 'Nuff
> said.
> Gargoyles -- not the Cornel West camp classic--that one had great makeup and
> high fun, camp factor. The recent remake overflowing with cheap CGI Harpies -
> Bad acting, lackluster action, bad CGI Gryphon - Bad acting (though it has
> established actors like Larry Drake and Anthony LePalia's younger brother),
> lackluster action, bad CGI That Francis Drake movie --came out last week
> starring Adrian "Highlander" Paul. It was awful! The CGI ships and ocean
> sucked,
> the characters were pitiful. There are many, many more. Basically almost
> every
> SciFi Original that's loaded with cheap CGI instead of good scale models or
> live
> action shots, just sucks -------------- Original message
> ----------------------
> From: "Martin Baxter" > Keith, you may look askance at this, but I'm *good*
> with
> Dean Cain in such > movies. I think that, instinctively, he knows that these
> are
> B-moives, and gives > them the full camp effect. One of those movies aired
> last
> weekend on Skiffy. > Can't remember the title, but he played an Army officer
> leading a Delta team > into a Central American country to find the members of
> a
> research team that > hadn't answered calls. They were working on an
> experimental
> medicine that > created zombies. I was foing to pass on t until I heard that
> Dean was starring. > I admit to two hours of brain-off-the-hook fun. Didn't
> have
> to Mistie it. Dean > did that himself. > > Ah! "Dead and Deader" was the
> flick.
> > > > > > > ---------[ Received Mail Content ]---------- > > Subject : Re:
> [scifinoir2] Stephen Baldwin (was Dragon Wars) > > Date : Mon, 26 Jan 2009
> 03:58:20 +0000 > > From : keithbjohn...@comcast.net > > To :
> scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com > > > I'll see your Stephen Baldwin, and raise you
> Lorenzo Lamas ("Raptor Island") and > Dean Cain (a whole bunch of cheesy dino
> flicks). Those guys are in a bunch of > really bad flicks. And while we're at
> it, today I was myself (as always) > lamenting the crappy movies that SciFi
> serves up. One thing you note pretty > quickly is that they seem to be going
> through the cryptid and mythology books > for inspiration. I mean, look at
> all
> the films they've done in the last couple > of years: Gargoyles, Harpies,
> Gryphon, Wyvern, Basilisk, Minotaur, Baal: The > Storm God, Chupacabra, Rock
> Monster--the whole encyclopedia of myth and legend. > And then add in Kaw
> (killer crows), Frankenfish, Boa vs. Python--you get the > idea. > > Baldwin,
> Lamas, and myths aside, the biggest problem is that all these movies > suck!
> Bad
> acting, bad writing, and really, really bad CGI. Every monster they > craft
> is
> worse than a the CGI in a five year old video game. Horrible! > > > > > > > >
> -------------- Original message ---------------------- > From: Aubrey
> Leatherwood > > > > Friday night into yesterday was one of those sweat shop
> writing sessions for > me. > > Couch, laptop, grilled meat, strong iced
> beverage, and remote control. Ahh the > > remote control... Useful when
> something is on... Not so useful yesterday. > > Harpies! Yep, Harpies on Sci
> Fi.
> Now > > > > Much of the folklore, mythology, even urban legend I've loved to
> read about > > since I was tiny, get made into SciFi Channel movies or movies
> that *make it* > to > > SciFi. Harpies, gargoyles, dragons, Merlin (god I
> hate
> sam neill but i love > > miranda richardson), etc... I'm excited by the
> prospect
> of them all, which is > > why--as if I have the memory span of a fruitfly--I
> watch (or try to watch) > these > > programs. I desperately want to suspend
> my
> disbelief for an hour or two, get > > lost in a story, then come back from my
> odyssey refreshed and entertained. I > am, > > yes people, a damn idiot! > >
> > >
> In comes Stephen Baldwin. > > > > I've been trying to figure out how to
> phrase
> it for some minutes now, and > can't > > seem to do so. I feel like an
> atrocity
> has been visited on me. How does this > guy > > continue to get work, and why
> does a ton of it end up on Sci Fi? Why? This guy > > has made two hundred and
> seventy million movies. What deal has he made or > > perhaps one of his more
> talented brothers (take your pick from the pill > poppin, > > punch throwin,
> drunk dialin baldwin grab bag) with the devil to persist in > this > >
> nonsense.
> > > > > In Harpies he was an NYPD cop that went back in time after
> > > > > accidentally
> get > some > > amulets and inserting them into a glowing egg of some sort.
> Back
> in time he > > demands entry into the Lord's castle by demanding that he let
> Nicky from the > > NYPD in. It gets worse, but I won't describe anymore to
> you.
> I don't have to, > > even if you haven't seen it, you know how bad it is. > >
> >
> > This pointless, directionless rant brought to you by the letter C for > >
> craptastic.Aubrey Leatherwoodwww.aubreyleatherwood.comFaceBook * MySpaceThe >
> >
> People You Know, The Sex They HaveROMANTIC TIMES NOMINEE FOR BEST
> CONTEMPORARY >
> > EROTICA 2008ISBN: 978-0-9818905-0-0Lyrical Press. Inc > > > > > > > > > > >
> > >
> > > _________________________________________________________________ > >
> Windows Live�: E-mail. Chat. Share. Get more ways to connect. > >
> http://windowslive.com/explore?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_t2_allup_explore_012009 > >
> > >
> > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQdwk8Yntds
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQdwk8Yntds
>
>
>
>
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> Hotmail® goes where you go. On a PC, on the Web, on your phone.
> http://www.windowslive-hotmail.com/learnmore/versatility.aspx#mobile?ocid=TXT_TA
GHM_WL_HM_versatility_121208
--- Begin Message ---
These are lovely. My list is short because the brain has been damaged from weekend viewing.
Mistie
Epoch (I enjoyed that one, too)
Dungeons and Dragons the first one... haven't seen that second one yet
Dragon Storm (Who thought Maxwell Caulfield could find a more demeaning role than the nerd turned secret-indentity-wielding hot biker? Still, I didn't mind it)
Even if you're on a plane, walk out:
BloodRayne
BloodRayne 2
Any future BloodRaynes
(Careful folks Stephen King's about to take a beating!) The Langoliers
Earthstorm (That Damn Stephen Baldwin)
Darkstorm (That Damn Stephen Baldwin)
Gargoyles
Aubrey Leatherwood
www.aubreyleatherwood.com
FaceBook * MySpace
The People You Know, The Sex They Have
ROMANTIC TIMES NOMINEE FOR BEST CONTEMPORARY EROTICA 2008
ISBN: 978-0-9818905-0-0
Lyrical Press. Inc
To: scifino...@yahoogroups.com
From: truthseeker013@lycos.com
Date: Mon, 26 Jan 2009 12:28:37 -0500
Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] Stephen Baldwin (was Dragon Wars)
Alright, I'm chiming in.
Worth a Mistie Watch
Dead and Deader
Basilisk: The Serpent King
Dragon Sword
Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God
Lake Placid (on loop!)
10.5 Apocalypse (Dean's magic makes it all better)
"Even if you're on a plane, walk out" (LMNAO, BTB!)
Kaw ("Never more", to quote Poe)
Dragon Wars (sooner have my eyes burnt from their sockets with white-hot needles)
ANYTHING with the name Uwe Boll attached
Wraiths of Roanoke (even the dead folks in the movie asked to have their names removed from the credits)
A Sound of Thunder (always thought that it was more boomy and less sucky)
100 Million B.C. (all that time... one would think they would've gotten it right at some point...)
Rise: Blood Hunter (vampyr everywhe! re protested the making of this, regardless of the potential risks)
Rock Monster (shuddering)
Pterodactyl (any movie in which Coolio is the best actor in the cast?)
Abominable (aka The Movie Which Lives Up To Its Name)
(LNAO, more to come)
---------[ Received Mail Content ]----------
Subject : Re: [scifinoir2] Stephen Baldwin (was Dragon Wars)
Date : Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:09:33 +0000
From : KeithBJohnson@comcast.net
To : scifino...@yahoogroups.com
Hey, that's cool. the real trick is knowing which B- movies are really fun camp for the ages, and which are just crappy schlock.
What we need to do, gang, is start rating these movies for each other on that level. See, as Martin just did, showing me that at least this Dean Cain flick is a good time-waster. I've seen others of his that are just plain bad. There was one where he was a security chief in an underground facility creating dinosaurs from old DNA. (And isn't Cain always playing a security chief or soldier in a top-secret facility?) One of the baddies got loose and started having human snacks. It was so bad because the CGI was horrible, and the used the *exact same* scene for every appearance of the creature! It was running down this curving hallway, and every single time the monster was shown, it was the exact same loop of film. So bad it wasn't even good camp.
So we'll do that. Whoever has sat (suffered) through a SciFi flick can rate it on "camp" or MST3K factor, so the others can know if it'd be a great laugh riot on a cold winter's day, or just a woefully bad piece of CGI-filled dreck that's not even worth watching for derision.
And on that scale, I can drop a couple of films like that:
Worth a Mistie watch:
Rock Monster (though I don't know why, it makes me life)
The Beast of Bray Road (that urban werewolf legend in film)
Leprechaun - yes I said it. Horrible, horrible film, but Warwick Dunn (?) makes me laugh as the creepy killer sprite. This ain't your daddy's Lucky Charms!
Dragon Sword (I think) - it's the one with Patric Swayze. Again, a bad movie, but acting is just good enough (it has many established actors) to make it dumb fun
Epoch - The first couple of these movies about some alien rock thingie activating on Earth may be a bit befuddling, but star David Keith helps make 'em watchable
Alien Lockdown (think that's it) - there's one or two of these flicks about a monster loose on an orbiting prison. I think one stars Christopher Lambert. Dumb fun.
Frankenfish - not sure why I laughed at this one, it's one of the worst ever. But watching these idiot young people run from a stupid killer fish in the Louisiana Bayou had me rolling
And from the "Even if you're on a plane, walk out" category:
Dragon Storm - I just wailed on it. American 90210 clones as reincarnation of Asian warriors and royals? 'Nuff said.
Gargoyles -- not the Cornel West camp classic--that one had great makeup and high fun, camp factor. The recent remake overflowing with cheap CGI
Harpies - Bad acting, lackluster action, bad CGI
Gryphon - Bad acting (though it has established actors like Larry Drake and Anthony LePalia's younger brother), lackluster action, bad CGI
That Francis Drake movie --came out last week starring Adrian "Highlander" Paul. It was awful! The CGI ships and ocean sucked, the characters were pitiful.
There are many, many more. Basically almost every SciFi Original that's loaded with cheap CGI instead of good scale models or live action shots, just sucks
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Martin Baxter"
> Keith, you may look askance at this, but I'm *good* with Dean Cain in such
> movies. I think that, instinctively, he knows that these are B-moives, and gives
> them the full camp effect. One of those movies aired last weekend on Skiffy.
> Can't remember the title, but he played an Army officer leading a Delta team
> into a Central American country to find the members of a research team that
> hadn't answered calls. They were working on an experimental medicine that
> created zombies. I was foing to pass on t until I heard that Dean was starring.
> I admit to two hours of brain-off-the-hook fun. Didn't have to Mistie it. Dean
> did that himself.
>
> Ah! "Dead and Deader" was the flick.
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------[ Received Mail Content ]----------
>
> Subject : Re: [scifinoir2] Stephen Baldwin (was Dragon Wars)
>
> Date : Mon, 26 Jan 2009 03:58:20 +0000
>
> From : KeithBJohnson@comcast.net
>
> To : scifino...@yahoogroups.com
>
>
> I'll see your Stephen Baldwin, and raise you Lorenzo Lamas ("Raptor Island") and
> Dean Cain (a whole bunch of cheesy dino flicks). Those guys are in a bunch of
> really bad flicks. And while we're at it, today I was myself (as always)
> lamenting the crappy movies that SciFi serves up. One thing you note pretty
> quickly is that they seem to be going through the cryptid and mythology books
> for inspiration. I mean, look at all the films they've done in the last couple
> of years: Gargoyles, Harpies, Gryphon, Wyvern, Basilisk, Minotaur, Baal: The
> Storm God, Chupacabra, Rock Monster--the whole encyclopedia of myth and legend.
> And then add in Kaw (killer crows), Frankenfish, Boa vs. Python--you get the
> idea.
>
> Baldwin, Lamas, and myths aside, the biggest problem is that all these movies
> suck! Bad acting, bad writing, and really, really bad CGI. Every monster they
> craft is worse than a the CGI in a five year old video game. Horrible!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -------------- Original message ----------------------
> From: Aubrey Leatherwood
> >
> > Friday night into yesterday was one of those sweat shop writing sessions for
> me.
> > Couch, laptop, grilled meat, strong iced beverage, and remote control. Ahh the
> > remote control... Useful when something is on... Not so useful yesterday.
> > Harpies! Yep, Harpies on Sci Fi. Now
> >
> > Much of the folklore, mythology, even urban legend I've loved to read about
> > since I was tiny, get made into SciFi Channel movies or movies that *make it*
> to
> > SciFi. Harpies, gargoyles, dragons, Merlin (god I hate sam neill but i love
> > miranda richardson), etc... I'm excited by the prospect of them all, which is
> > why--as if I have the memory span of a fruitfly--I watch (or try to watch)
> these
> > programs. I desperately want to suspend my disbelief for an hour or two, get
> > lost in a story, then come back from my odyssey refreshed and entertained. I
> am,
> > yes people, a damn idiot!
> >
> > In comes Stephen Baldwin.
> >
> > I've been trying to figure out how to phrase it for some minutes now, and
> can't
> > seem to do so. I feel like an atrocity has been visited on me. How does this
> guy
> > continue to get work, and why does a ton of it end up on Sci Fi? Why? This guy
> > has made two hundred and seventy million movies. What deal has he made or
> > perhaps one of his more talented brothers (take your pick from the pill
> poppin,
> > punch throwin, drunk dialin baldwin grab bag) with the devil to persist in
> this
> > nonsense.
> >
> > In Harpies he was an NYPD cop that went back in time after accidentally get
> some
> > amulets and inserting them into a glowing egg of some sort. Back in time he
> > demands entry into the Lord's castle by demanding that he let Nicky from the
> > NYPD in. It gets worse, but I won't describe anymore to you. I don't have to,
> > even if you haven't seen it, you know how bad it is.
> >
> > This pointless, directionless rant brought to you by the letter C for
> > craptastic.Aubrey Leatherwoodwww.aubreyleatherwood.comFaceBook * MySpaceThe
> > People You Know, The Sex They HaveROMANTIC TIMES NOMINEE FOR BEST CONTEMPORARY
> > EROTICA 2008ISBN: 978-0-9818905-0-0Lyrical Press. Inc
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
> > Windows Live�: E-mail. Chat. Share. Get more ways to connect.
> > http://windowslive.com/explore?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_t2_allup_explore_012009
>
>
>
>
>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQdwk8Yntds
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