Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
On Mar 24, 2009, at 8:10 PM, Kirk wrote: Sal, not meaning to be smug but our friend probably meant, well, let's see what the Author's Friend has to say since she knows everything. Oh shit, she spent all her posts already. We'll have to wait another week to get an 'expert' 'opinion'. So nevermind. Well, it *is* an interesting question in light of what eternal brought up... Sal
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
On Mar 24, 2009, at 12:06 AM, shempmcgurk wrote: I went to the doctor last week and he prescribed Xanax for me. But I refuse to even fill the prescription. I've seen members of my own family get on this sorts of drugs and it fucks them up for a lifetime. Wishing you the best, shemp, but don't throw all medication out the window. Is Xanax an anti-depressant? Several help, and continue to, millions, without serious side-effects. Don't know about X but some research might be in order about the others. And I also understand, after years of being indoctrinated with the TMO's medication scares myself. A friend's mother recommended something called Valerian Root. I picked up a bottle of Valerian Root Extract pills (60 pills per bottle, 50 mg each) for the ridiculously low price of $5.00 at Sprout's and I must say it is a Godsend. I've taken it about 4 days now -- a few hours before going to sleep -- and it has really helped me sleep. As it is I am still only able to sleep about 4 hours a night. But at least I lie in bed -- albeit awake -- and I'm sure I'm getting at least some rest that way, for the rest of the time. But my despondency is big. And I have no one to blame but myself for the horrible mess I'm in. I'm actually considering calling a crisis line (no, not for suicide...I'm not having those thoughts), something I've never before done. But it does help talking about it here. Sal
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
Well Lurk, you know you have my sympathy. I'm, otr we are not alone. Many people I know have had their lives washed away. I didn't realize it would effect me like it did since it wasn't my home town. But that's not the case cause it is my home town now, and so many people are feeling low here. Each of my friends in turn has graduated to hard drugs - read heroin or crack - I drove one to rehab a week ago where she was enrolled. I can tell you stories. Of course my giving advice is the blind leading the blind. If you're 54 you may be in mid-life crisis. Or, maybe some physical problem. I am having to soon check whether I am hypothyroid since I have eating issues. Anyway, the weepy thing I have alway had. I am pretty emotional from the outset. - Original Message - From: lurkernomore20002000 steve.sun...@sbcglobal.net To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Monday, March 23, 2009 11:30 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency Shempster, glad I may be one of the first to respond here. First, there are probably a lot of us who are never more than a hairs breath away from crying. Second, just don't give up, even when you feel like it. Put one step ahead of the other, and continue to go forward. Sounds trite, I know, but if you keep plugging away, things fall into place one way or another. Other than that, you can't push depression out the door. You have to process it in some manner, and then sometimes it may just lift. Kind of like when you have a persistent headache, and suddenly it goes away, and your not even aware that it has gone away until after the fact. Wishing you the best. lurk --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcg...@... wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome. To subscribe, send a message to: fairfieldlife-subscr...@yahoogroups.com Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
Thanks Kirk, but I'm exempted this time around. I was responding to Shemp, who is having a rough time. But, I read with interest the after effects of Katrian within your circle of friends. It seems that you were able to avoid the initial devastation if I remember correctly. You were able to leave at the outset. I believe the mainstream perception is that NO is coming back on track. But you provide the insiders perspective. Thanks. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Kirk kirk_bernha...@... wrote: Well Lurk, you know you have my sympathy. I'm, otr we are not alone. Many people I know have had their lives washed away. I didn't realize it would effect me like it did since it wasn't my home town. But that's not the case cause it is my home town now, and so many people are feeling low here. Each of my friends in turn has graduated to hard drugs - read heroin or crack - I drove one to rehab a week ago where she was enrolled. I can tell you stories. Of course my giving advice is the blind leading the blind. If you're 54 you may be in mid-life crisis. Or, maybe some physical problem. I am having to soon check whether I am hypothyroid since I have eating issues. Anyway, the weepy thing I have alway had. I am pretty emotional from the outset. - Original Message - From: lurkernomore20002000 steve.sun...@... To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Monday, March 23, 2009 11:30 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency Shempster, glad I may be one of the first to respond here. First, there are probably a lot of us who are never more than a hairs breath away from crying. Second, just don't give up, even when you feel like it. Put one step ahead of the other, and continue to go forward. Sounds trite, I know, but if you keep plugging away, things fall into place one way or another. Other than that, you can't push depression out the door. You have to process it in some manner, and then sometimes it may just lift. Kind of like when you have a persistent headache, and suddenly it goes away, and your not even aware that it has gone away until after the fact. Wishing you the best. lurk --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcgurk@ wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome. To subscribe, send a message to: fairfieldlife-subscr...@yahoogroups.com Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
I can tell you all about alprazolam and diazapam. They are depressant benzodiazapines, used for muscle relaxation and to promote sleep. Xanax has a short half life of only two hours so it also can put you to sleep but then you wake up in just a few hours. It's not very good for sleep. It's much better for tension headache and TMJ which is why I have it. Valium has a half life of 18 hours, so valium, in my doctor's words, has an hour come down which matches the symptoms of depression. Thus valium, he says, is addicting. Funny thing is he never asked me if I felt addicted to the 270 Lortabs he gave me every 45 days. But those I wanted. Because they are better antidepressants than anything on the market. Of course the acetominophen is bad for the liver, especially if one drinks. So that's another issue. Here's the thing. Alprazolam can prevent clarity of mind. It doesn't last long though. That's why doctors give it out over valium. If you took one at night you really shouldn't notice any significant hangover. No. I used to get a depressive hangover when I would take ten mgs a day to keep my nerves from rattling during 16 hour shifts of people yelling at me. On xanax and valium you will incur memory loss, maybe even from just a little. But especially if you drink with them. I remember drinking a bottle of wine on top of valium and then I called everyone I knew and cut them off and erased all my phone numbers and it took me a few months to get the numbers and my friends back. I don't rememebr doing it. I just knew when I looked at my phone and I erased all the numbers that something bad had happened. Xanax are bad, but if you're responsible, which I am not, then you can use them as a doctor prescribes. But if you're like me then maybe they aren't such a good idea. They were prescribed for depression to help someone I know of who lost a loved one during Katrina. It took her three years and rehab to get clean. One thing some newbies to TM forget is that if you have lived with TM your whole, or pretty much your whole life, then it ceases having any specific quality. Thus it is of little use when confronting the usual day to day problems. I am not sure if I admire the idealists or think they're misguided dunces. I have the difficult problem of being around many heroin and crack addicts and stoners. I am driving one to her appt today. With a counselor. If one hasn't figured it out yet, most everybody is fucked in some way. Especially the gurus who look all perfect. The more perfect you have to look the more fucked you really are. Nobody has figured life out yet. And they never will. Religions are not the life of the intellect but the death of it. I do not recommend religion to anyone. - Original Message - From: Sal Sunshine To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 2:55 AM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency On Mar 24, 2009, at 12:06 AM, shempmcgurk wrote: I went to the doctor last week and he prescribed Xanax for me. But I refuse to even fill the prescription. I've seen members of my own family get on this sorts of drugs and it fucks them up for a lifetime. Wishing you the best, shemp, but don't throw all medication out the window. Is Xanax an anti-depressant? Several help, and continue to, millions, without serious side-effects. Don't know about X but some research might be in order about the others. And I also understand, after years of being indoctrinated with the TMO's medication scares myself. A friend's mother recommended something called Valerian Root. I picked up a bottle of Valerian Root Extract pills (60 pills per bottle, 50 mg each) for the ridiculously low price of $5.00 at Sprout's and I must say it is a Godsend. I've taken it about 4 days now -- a few hours before going to sleep -- and it has really helped me sleep. As it is I am still only able to sleep about 4 hours a night. But at least I lie in bed -- albeit awake -- and I'm sure I'm getting at least some rest that way, for the rest of the time. But my despondency is big. And I have no one to blame but myself for the horrible mess I'm in. I'm actually considering calling a crisis line (no, not for suicide...I'm not having those thoughts), something I've never before done. But it does help talking about it here. Sal
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
On Mar 24, 2009, at 9:01 AM, Kirk wrote: I can tell you all about alprazolam and diazapam. They are depressant benzodiazapines, used for muscle relaxation and to promote sleep. Xanax has a short half life of only two hours so it also can put you to sleep but then you wake up in just a few hours. It's not very good for sleep. It's much better for tension headache and TMJ which is why I have it. Valium has a half life of 18 hours, so valium, in my doctor's words, has an hour come down which matches the symptoms of depression. Thus valium, he says, is addicting. Funny thing is he never asked me if I felt addicted to the 270 Lortabs he gave me every 45 days. But those I wanted. Because they are better antidepressants than anything on the market. Of course the acetominophen is bad for the liver, especially if one drinks. So that's another issue. People should try GABA before they try the Benzos--or even after they've tried them. If you're a meditator and ever got the 'wave of relaxation' kinda bliss from a good meditation session, GABA is like that. In fact GABA receptors are what are activated in Theta and Gamma wave samadhis. It's believed to not cross the BBB, but it somehow must be getting around it, as it does work. Cheap too. The important thing is, you have take it on an empty stomach. L- Theanine, the amino acid in Green Tea is the same way and also quite good. Shemp, this is something inexpensive you could check out. It's helpful to have some clear, clean clarity and freedom from emotional patterns to be able to just see where we are and move forward without everything weighing on us.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcg...@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend jstein@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcgurk@ wrote: snip But my despondency is big. And I have no one to blame but myself for the horrible mess I'm in. I'm actually considering calling a crisis line (no, not for suicide... I'm not having those thoughts), something I've never before done. Actually, it was sheer irresponsibility on my part and in my heart of hearts I knew it was not the right course of action. Now it's catching up to me. But I am beating myself up on it all. Because I feel I deserve to be beaten up for all the things I've fucked up on. For what its worth. Several years ago I had a dense black state. Inner and outer. Some views that helped me. Everything changes, nothing lasts for ever. I had a black state and circumstances and they seemed eternal. That was an illusion. Things changed. Pain is a strong sensation. You can feel it as just that, or interpret it as pain. Even as pleasure. We find what we expect to find. Good and bad things are both out there. I regularly expected to find good things. I found them. Its not a woo woo thing. Its an alertness thing. Small steps. When I was totally stuck, total inertia, it was a huge effort, but I found that I could take one small step. From there I re-evaluated. Can I take another small step? I learned from my fuck-ups. Loss and pain seems like a negative thing. But I found some loss and pain were the ripping away of things that were holding me down. When you rip a band-aid off, it can hurt. But it leads to a more healed state. When I lost somethings substantial, I became lighter and more agile.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
shempmcgurk wrote: Actually, it was sheer irresponsibility on my part and in my heart of hearts I knew it was not the right course of action. Now it's catching up to me. But I am beating myself up on it all. Because I feel I deserve to be beaten up for all the things I've fucked up on. Some people feel better when they have someone to talk to.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, curtisdeltablues curtisdeltabl...@... wrote: Having re-read my list of things I do to keep my mental head above water, I just want to declare everything I wrote as bullshit as a response to Shemp and Kirk's issues. If you guys are seriously depressed I hope you get some medical help and ignore idiots like me spouting irrelevant, although well-meaning, drivel. Sometimes people are depressed for good reasons and need to make big changes to get their lives back on track. I hope you both can find some competent professionals to help you with the inner resources you will need to pull it off. My overall intention was to say I give a shit and wish you guys the best, and I should have left it at that. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, lurkernomore20002000 steve.sundur@ wrote: I was touched by this and by Judy's sincere post. This is real live shit. I have some core principles that work for me. Judy hit the basics of rest and exercise and eating well and that is really critical in my experience. If you are ragged out you will feel like shit. Vince Lambarde told the Green Bay Packers, Fatigue makes cowards of us all. In my life I gotta say that TM is not rest. Sleep is rest. TM is something else. It creates fatigue somehow. You have to find your own balance on this. But be wary of inward practices. You may need to focus outwards to find your bliss. Exercise creates energy. Hard, makes-you-sweat exercise. And exercise is the opposite physiology of being depressed. I would like to up the ante and include eating things that make you feel joy. If you haven't been to a real cheese shop lately I recommend a trip. Sounds trite till you put a piece of soft sheep cheese in your mouth! Sensuality is a form of spirituality that I'm sure Kirk will understand. I could get up every day in joy if I only had a heat source to cook with, I love food that much. Mentally I rely on Rational Emotive Therapy to get me through the thought distortions that make me think that life is more or less than what I can DO to make myself happy. If I only had guitar to live for it would work for me but YMMV. Sometimes trip to to a pro is the ticket, I have heard. I don't doubt that. I have underutilized this resource except in books. Time to get your support base off FFL in line, call an old friend up. We all need love and it may have been a while since you told someone how much they mean to you. You might be surprised how much you mean to them if you give them a chance to express it. I've been on the cliff too. I faced the meaninglessness and chose my own meaning. I'm getting better at focusing in on what matters for my life. I'm taking it day by day. Every day I choose what matters to me and how I can matter to others. Some days I totally suck at it. Others give me hope. Hope is more innocent than faith. It works for me. I was touched by people here really giving a shit about online personalities. We are naturally caring creatures. That is beautiful. Shempster, glad I may be one of the first to respond here. First, there are probably a lot of us who are never more than a hairs breath away from crying. Second, just don't give up, even when you feel like it. Put one step ahead of the other, and continue to go forward. Sounds trite, I know, but if you keep plugging away, things fall into place one way or another. Other than that, you can't push depression out the door. You have to process it in some manner, and then sometimes it may just lift. Kind of like when you have a persistent headache, and suddenly it goes away, and your not even aware that it has gone away until after the fact. Wishing you the best. lurk --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcgurk@ wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcg...@... wrote: snip I went to the doctor last week and he prescribed Xanax for me. But I refuse to even fill the prescription. I've seen members of my own family get on this sorts of drugs and it fucks them up for a lifetime. Whether that would happen to you is another question entirely. People's reactions to drugs are highly individual. But if you're willing to try herbal remedies, have you looked into St. John's wort? Some people with depression have had good results with it.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
shempmcgurk wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome. Kirk, Shemp, Okay, I'll toss my hat into this ring and say that I have fucked up way more than anyone here. Getcher dicks out boys. But, know ahead of time that I can win this contest. And, yeah, I'm not forgetting that Kirk's father died when Kirk was but a kid. Devastating. Got it. Understood. But you be a newbie in the my life is a disaster book, if that's the only card you got to lay down. Kirk, Shemp, et al -- they say depression is anger turned inward, so hey, maybe, er, how'z'bout expressing some anger -- get it going outwardly! Even if it doesn't help, hey, it helps, eh? Meanwhile, my personal history with darkness forced me to recognize that emotions are separate from thoughts -- enough -- so that they don't necessarily have absolute power over intellectual content of consciousness. Souse the intellect to put the mind onto something known to divert from despondency by, say, giving the mind a bigass challenge that precludes other topics muscling into the mind's foreground -- even a crossword puzzle might do the trick. It doesn't address the negativity but it gives one a break and the burden is put down for a while. Many of the other FFL suggestions so far are excellent, but of course, in a depression, one just doesn't want to do anything except something quick and now that solves the whole shebang. Go to bed -- unconsciousness is allowed. Stay there for days if it's working for ya. If you think you're a fuck-up, you ain't looking around ya -- you are not George Bush for instance -- I'm just sayin'. At your funeral, there'd be some weepers for sure, right?, so absolute worthlessness shouldn't be on the psychic table. If you think you could have done so much more and have accomplishments to brag about, well, if true, then you still could do them! Winston Churchill didn't run for public office until he was 65 years old. If not true, if you really couldn't have done better, then, hey, you're off the hook. Right? Right? You're not blaming mentally retarded folks for their lacking worth are you? Cut yourself the same break. Right now, I have, like, ten thousand good things I could do that would really change my life for the better, but I think I'll watch a movie instead. Is that a sin? Take it easy, dudes -- straining against the darkness is not taking it easy. Folks don't know where their thoughts come from, so trying to get to the bottom of an emotion is even harder. Grunt and bear it -- sometimes that's all ya gots, and it's man-up time. One thing's for sure: my world would be a lot less interesting without you two in it, so, hey, keep fucking up just like you are and report here about it -- it makes my day! Sick, but true. If you're miserable, I get to see you survive it somehow. That's a bigtime benefit to me -- to all of us -- to know that when it's our turns, we can remember your survivial. Ever see someone in a wheelchair laughing and having the time of their life? Sure you have. If they can laugh at their life sentences, so must we all. I remember this TV show that had a character who was 1. Crippled in a wheelchair. 2. A dwarf. 3. Jewish 4. Atheist 5. African American He said, If I'm happy, no one has the right to be unhappy. Count yer blessings, bubs, others here can see them. Edg
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcg...@... wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome. I sometimes use paradoxical intention as a quick cure for, say, mild to moderate headache or some emotional problems. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradoxical_intention
Fw: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency?
Time to enjoy! --- In FairfieldLife@ yahoogroups. com, shempmcgurk shempmcgurk@ ... wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome. I sometimes use paradoxical intention as a quick cure for, say, mild to moderate headache or some emotional problems. http://en.wikipedia .org/wiki/ Paradoxical_ intention
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
I remember this TV show that had a character who was 1. Crippled in a wheelchair. 2. A dwarf. 3. Jewish 4. Atheist 5. African American He said, If I'm happy, no one has the right to be unhappy. Count yer blessings, bubs, others here can see them. Edg Ever read George C. Chesbro?
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
shempmcgurk wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, lurkernomore20002000 steve.sun...@... wrote: Shempster, glad I may be one of the first to respond here. First, there are probably a lot of us who are never more than a hairs breath away from crying. Second, just don't give up, even when you feel like it. Put one step ahead of the other, and continue to go forward. Sounds trite, I know, but if you keep plugging away, things fall into place one way or another. Other than that, you can't push depression out the door. You have to process it in some manner, and then sometimes it may just lift. Kind of like when you have a persistent headache, and suddenly it goes away, and your not even aware that it has gone away until after the fact. Wishing you the best. lurk I went to the doctor last week and he prescribed Xanax for me. But I refuse to even fill the prescription. I've seen members of my own family get on this sorts of drugs and it fucks them up for a lifetime. A friend's mother recommended something called Valerian Root. I picked up a bottle of Valerian Root Extract pills (60 pills per bottle, 50 mg each) for the ridiculously low price of $5.00 at Sprout's and I must say it is a Godsend. I've taken it about 4 days now -- a few hours before going to sleep -- and it has really helped me sleep. As it is I am still only able to sleep about 4 hours a night. But at least I lie in bed -- albeit awake -- and I'm sure I'm getting at least some rest that way, for the rest of the time. But my despondency is big. And I have no one to blame but myself for the horrible mess I'm in. I'm actually considering calling a crisis line (no, not for suicide...I'm not having those thoughts), something I've never before done. But it does help talking about it here. One more thing I forgot to mention, it IS spring the Kapha season. And believe it or not you may need to try some kapha reducing herbs which are stimulating to improve your sleep. Or eat more spicy foods. A rise in kapha can produce depression. My sister went through a clinical depression about 15 years ago. One day I went over to go with her and a visiting relative to dinner. She was in a funk when I arrived. Having introduced ayurveda to her, I went downstairs, grabbed a bag of kapha tea and made it for her. She came out of the funk and was her old self for the dinner. I sometimes have problems sleeping straight through until morning. Having some kapha tea in the evening allows me to sleep straight through. It's worth a try and pretty harmless. Kapha tea can be made from 1 part ginger, 1 part cinnamon and a dash of clove. You can throw in some black pepper too especially if circulation isn't that good.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
On Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 5:34 PM, Kirk kirk_bernha...@cox.net wrote: I remember this TV show that had a character who was 1. Crippled in a wheelchair. 2. A dwarf. 3. Jewish 4. Atheist 5. African American He said, If I'm happy, no one has the right to be unhappy. Count yer blessings, bubs, others here can see them. Ever read George C. Chesbro? Kirk, as you know it's starting to get warm where we live. Yesterday night I was working at the shelter and I tossed a new shirt to this guy. He pulled his shirt off and swapped it with the new one I'd tossed him. I was blown away to see that this guy had multiple instances of the Star of David and his initials in Hebrew tatted into his torso. I kind of just stopped when I saw that and didn't start up again. Thinking over it, this guy can't have been a good Jew because Jews don't get tats. Return to God the way your were born. When I think it over, I can't remember a single Middle Easterner with tats so I don't recall any with crescents. Just rambling.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
I just wanted to tell a story. So I was at the suupermarket and then I chose a very slow line to check out. I was thinking as I was shopping how invisible I felt as if I simply didn't exist. So anyway, I was checking out. The line was taking forever, but I decided not to be a dick. So as I got to the cashier she asked for my ID for a bottle of wine. So I gave it to her and she started chatting with me. She was a cute black girl and we discussed being Libras and yada yada, also my being 9 days and 25 years older than her. But I didn't feel so invisible after that, so I had my godly luck of the day. A small thing. I am sure. Presented to you from - the Outer Limits. - Original Message - From: Kirk kirk_bernha...@cox.net To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 5:34 PM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency I remember this TV show that had a character who was 1. Crippled in a wheelchair. 2. A dwarf. 3. Jewish 4. Atheist 5. African American He said, If I'm happy, no one has the right to be unhappy. Count yer blessings, bubs, others here can see them. Edg Ever read George C. Chesbro? To subscribe, send a message to: fairfieldlife-subscr...@yahoogroups.com Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
I just wanted to tell a story. So I was at the suupermarket and then I chose a very slow line to check out. I was thinking as I was shopping how invisible I felt as if I simply didn't exist. So anyway, I was checking out. The line was taking forever, but I decided not to be a dick. So as I got to the cashier she asked for my ID for a bottle of wine. So I gave it to her and she started chatting with me. She was a cute black girl and we discussed being Libras and yada yada, also my being 9 days and 25 years older than her. But I didn't feel so invisible after that, so I had my godly luck of the day. A small thing. I am sure. Presented to you from - the Outer Limits. - Original Message - From: Kirk kirk_bernhardt@ cox.net To: FairfieldLife@ yahoogroups. com Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 5:34 PM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency I remember this TV show that had a character who was 1. Crippled in a wheelchair. 2. A dwarf. 3. Jewish 4. Atheist 5. African American He said, If I'm happy, no one has the right to be unhappy. Count yer blessings, bubs, others here can see them. Edg Ever read George C. Chesbro? - - -- To subscribe, send a message to: FairfieldLife- subscribe@ yahoogroups. com Or go to: http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/FairfieldL ife/ and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
On Mar 24, 2009, at 6:11 PM, I am the eternal wrote: Kirk, as you know it's starting to get warm where we live. Yesterday night I was working at the shelter and I tossed a new shirt to this guy. He pulled his shirt off and swapped it with the new one I'd tossed him. I was blown away to see that this guy had multiple instances of the Star of David and his initials in Hebrew tatted into his torso. I kind of just stopped when I saw that and didn't start up again. Thinking over it, this guy can't have been a good Jew because Jews don't get tats. Return to God the way your were born. Then how does anyone justify circumcision? When I think it over, I can't remember a single Middle Easterner with tats so I don't recall any with crescents. Sal
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
Do we know each other?
Maybe we should.
- Original Message -
From: Arhata Osho
To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 7:09 PM
Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
I just wanted to tell a story. So I was at the suupermarket and then
I chose
a very slow line to check out. I was thinking as I was shopping how
invisible I felt as if I simply didn't exist. So anyway, I was
checking out.
The line was taking forever, but I decided not to be a dick. So as I
got to
the cashier she asked for my ID for a bottle of wine. So I gave it to
her
and she started chatting with me. She was a cute black girl and we
discussed being Libras and yada yada, also my being 9 days and 25
years
older than her. But I didn't feel so invisible after that, so I had
my
godly luck of the day. A small thing. I am sure. Presented to you
from - the
Outer Limits.
- Original Message -
From: Kirk kirk_bernhardt@ cox.net
To: FairfieldLife@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 5:34 PM
Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
I remember this TV show that had a character who was 1. Crippled
in a
wheelchair. 2. A dwarf. 3. Jewish 4. Atheist 5. African American He
said, If I'm happy, no one has the right to be unhappy.
Count yer blessings, bubs, others here can see them.
Edg
Ever read George C. Chesbro?
- - --
To subscribe, send a message to:
FairfieldLife- subscribe@ yahoogroups. com
Or go to:
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/FairfieldL ife/
and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
Sal, not meaning to be smug but our friend probably meant, well, let's see what the Author's Friend has to say since she knows everything. Oh shit, she spent all her posts already. We'll have to wait another week to get an 'expert' 'opinion'. So nevermind. - Original Message - From: Sal Sunshine To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 7:34 PM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency On Mar 24, 2009, at 6:11 PM, I am the eternal wrote: Kirk, as you know it's starting to get warm where we live. Yesterday night I was working at the shelter and I tossed a new shirt to this guy. He pulled his shirt off and swapped it with the new one I'd tossed him. I was blown away to see that this guy had multiple instances of the Star of David and his initials in Hebrew tatted into his torso. I kind of just stopped when I saw that and didn't start up again. Thinking over it, this guy can't have been a good Jew because Jews don't get tats. Return to God the way your were born. Then how does anyone justify circumcision? When I think it over, I can't remember a single Middle Easterner with tats so I don't recall any with crescents. Sal
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
Return to God the way you were born. I do believe that it's when I am on this topic that I praise God to the heavens. For as long as I can hold on. Otherwise I was born Athiest. Rastafari aren't supposed to get tats either. I did my good deeds for the day. I was nice to the supermarket girl, I gave a war vet two smokes, I gave a sick girl some Prilosec, I fed a depressed friend a line of sickening sweet bullshit that even sounded trite to me, but it got a laugh out of him. And I also ignored the ants I trampled, I drank wine for breakfast, I drove too fast and blasted Ashes Divide out the open windows. I looked with lust upon many many women. Many. I didn't cook dinner for my overworked wife. I asked the doc to up the dose on my Celexa. I'm yawning and stretching again. And I haven't even confessed the bad things I did. Not sure I got your point. Are we therefore more alike than we thought? I appreciate your taking time out to ramble with me. - Original Message - From: I am the eternal l.shad...@gmail.com To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 6:11 PM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency On Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 5:34 PM, Kirk kirk_bernha...@cox.net wrote: I remember this TV show that had a character who was 1. Crippled in a wheelchair. 2. A dwarf. 3. Jewish 4. Atheist 5. African American He said, If I'm happy, no one has the right to be unhappy. Count yer blessings, bubs, others here can see them. Ever read George C. Chesbro? Kirk, as you know it's starting to get warm where we live. Yesterday night I was working at the shelter and I tossed a new shirt to this guy. He pulled his shirt off and swapped it with the new one I'd tossed him. I was blown away to see that this guy had multiple instances of the Star of David and his initials in Hebrew tatted into his torso. I kind of just stopped when I saw that and didn't start up again. Thinking over it, this guy can't have been a good Jew because Jews don't get tats. Return to God the way your were born. When I think it over, I can't remember a single Middle Easterner with tats so I don't recall any with crescents. Just rambling. To subscribe, send a message to: fairfieldlife-subscr...@yahoogroups.com Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
On Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 7:34 PM, Sal Sunshine salsunsh...@lisco.com wrote: On Mar 24, 2009, at 6:11 PM, I am the eternal wrote: Kirk, as you know it's starting to get warm where we live. Yesterday night I was working at the shelter and I tossed a new shirt to this guy. He pulled his shirt off and swapped it with the new one I'd tossed him. I was blown away to see that this guy had multiple instances of the Star of David and his initials in Hebrew tatted into his torso. I kind of just stopped when I saw that and didn't start up again. Thinking over it, this guy can't have been a good Jew because Jews don't get tats. Return to God the way your were born. Then how does anyone justify circumcision? I left that part out figuring that no one would be an AHole. Circumcision. Covenant with God, God with Abraham. Gen. 17:10-14 and Lev. 12:3 That's as far as it goes. They don't get buried in Christian cemeteries, however, because they've so far failed to accept the Lord Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
On Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 6:08 PM, Kirk kirk_bernha...@cox.net wrote: I just wanted to tell a story. So I was at the suupermarket and then I chose a very slow line to check out. I was thinking as I was shopping how invisible I felt as if I simply didn't exist. So anyway, I was checking out. The line was taking forever, but I decided not to be a dick. So as I got to the cashier she asked for my ID for a bottle of wine. So I gave it to her and she started chatting with me. She was a cute black girl and we discussed being Libras and yada yada, also my being 9 days and 25 years older than her. But I didn't feel so invisible after that, so I had my godly luck of the day. A small thing. I am sure. Presented to you from - the Outer Limits. Glad to hear that the smell of snatch still gets your attention. You aren't that far gone after all, Kirk.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Kirk kirk_bernha...@... wrote: I drank wine for breakfast, I always forget the right wine pairing with Capt. Crunch, what is it again? Return to God the way you were born. I do believe that it's when I am on this topic that I praise God to the heavens. For as long as I can hold on. Otherwise I was born Athiest. Rastafari aren't supposed to get tats either. I did my good deeds for the day. I was nice to the supermarket girl, I gave a war vet two smokes, I gave a sick girl some Prilosec, I fed a depressed friend a line of sickening sweet bullshit that even sounded trite to me, but it got a laugh out of him. And I also ignored the ants I trampled, I drank wine for breakfast, I drove too fast and blasted Ashes Divide out the open windows. I looked with lust upon many many women. Many. I didn't cook dinner for my overworked wife. I asked the doc to up the dose on my Celexa. I'm yawning and stretching again. And I haven't even confessed the bad things I did. Not sure I got your point. Are we therefore more alike than we thought? I appreciate your taking time out to ramble with me. - Original Message - From: I am the eternal l.shad...@... To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 6:11 PM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency On Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 5:34 PM, Kirk kirk_bernha...@... wrote: I remember this TV show that had a character who was 1. Crippled in a wheelchair. 2. A dwarf. 3. Jewish 4. Atheist 5. African American He said, If I'm happy, no one has the right to be unhappy. Count yer blessings, bubs, others here can see them. Ever read George C. Chesbro? Kirk, as you know it's starting to get warm where we live. Yesterday night I was working at the shelter and I tossed a new shirt to this guy. He pulled his shirt off and swapped it with the new one I'd tossed him. I was blown away to see that this guy had multiple instances of the Star of David and his initials in Hebrew tatted into his torso. I kind of just stopped when I saw that and didn't start up again. Thinking over it, this guy can't have been a good Jew because Jews don't get tats. Return to God the way your were born. When I think it over, I can't remember a single Middle Easterner with tats so I don't recall any with crescents. Just rambling. To subscribe, send a message to: fairfieldlife-subscr...@yahoogroups.com Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
Obviously a Mersault as the acidity cuts right through the heavy soy milk and sugary sweetness without fully cleansing the palette so that the Capt Crunch and soymilk flavors can still linger, though without becoming too cloying. My preference in a Mersault is the multi-appelation Le Montrachet, which was made collectively by Drouhin, Latour, et al. I am not up to date on vintages. So many wines so little time. There are two (main) theories on pairing wines with food; like with like and opposite with opposite. So some people drink maybe something really sweet with dessert, such as the obvious Sauterne, whereas something heavy and red like a Zinfandel can go just as well with something like a creme brulee. However the complexity of Captain Crunch I believe calls for something similar but not too alike. Maybe something even less complex than a French wine, something maybe Germain such as an Auslese or Berenauslese. Obviously a Trokenberenauslese is a bit too over the top altogether in sweetness in which case the Capt. Crunch would lose its finesse and probably become bitter by comparison. So you can sense that it's really a matter of taste. - Original Message - From: curtisdeltablues curtisdeltabl...@yahoo.com To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 8:50 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Kirk kirk_bernha...@... wrote: I drank wine for breakfast, I always forget the right wine pairing with Capt. Crunch, what is it again? Return to God the way you were born. I do believe that it's when I am on this topic that I praise God to the heavens. For as long as I can hold on. Otherwise I was born Athiest. Rastafari aren't supposed to get tats either. I did my good deeds for the day. I was nice to the supermarket girl, I gave a war vet two smokes, I gave a sick girl some Prilosec, I fed a depressed friend a line of sickening sweet bullshit that even sounded trite to me, but it got a laugh out of him. And I also ignored the ants I trampled, I drank wine for breakfast, I drove too fast and blasted Ashes Divide out the open windows. I looked with lust upon many many women. Many. I didn't cook dinner for my overworked wife. I asked the doc to up the dose on my Celexa. I'm yawning and stretching again. And I haven't even confessed the bad things I did. Not sure I got your point. Are we therefore more alike than we thought? I appreciate your taking time out to ramble with me. - Original Message - From: I am the eternal l.shad...@... To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 6:11 PM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency On Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 5:34 PM, Kirk kirk_bernha...@... wrote: I remember this TV show that had a character who was 1. Crippled in a wheelchair. 2. A dwarf. 3. Jewish 4. Atheist 5. African American He said, If I'm happy, no one has the right to be unhappy. Count yer blessings, bubs, others here can see them. Ever read George C. Chesbro? Kirk, as you know it's starting to get warm where we live. Yesterday night I was working at the shelter and I tossed a new shirt to this guy. He pulled his shirt off and swapped it with the new one I'd tossed him. I was blown away to see that this guy had multiple instances of the Star of David and his initials in Hebrew tatted into his torso. I kind of just stopped when I saw that and didn't start up again. Thinking over it, this guy can't have been a good Jew because Jews don't get tats. Return to God the way your were born. When I think it over, I can't remember a single Middle Easterner with tats so I don't recall any with crescents. Just rambling. To subscribe, send a message to: fairfieldlife-subscr...@yahoogroups.com Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links To subscribe, send a message to: fairfieldlife-subscr...@yahoogroups.com Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Kirk kirk_bernha...@... wrote: Excellent response! You da man Kirk. I would love to take an eating and drinking tour with you in the Big Easy. If you ever make it to DC I'll take you on a cook's tour of the best Vietnamese and Ethiopian dives. Obviously a Mersault as the acidity cuts right through the heavy soy milk and sugary sweetness without fully cleansing the palette so that the Capt Crunch and soymilk flavors can still linger, though without becoming too cloying. My preference in a Mersault is the multi-appelation Le Montrachet, which was made collectively by Drouhin, Latour, et al. I am not up to date on vintages. So many wines so little time. There are two (main) theories on pairing wines with food; like with like and opposite with opposite. So some people drink maybe something really sweet with dessert, such as the obvious Sauterne, whereas something heavy and red like a Zinfandel can go just as well with something like a creme brulee. However the complexity of Captain Crunch I believe calls for something similar but not too alike. Maybe something even less complex than a French wine, something maybe Germain such as an Auslese or Berenauslese. Obviously a Trokenberenauslese is a bit too over the top altogether in sweetness in which case the Capt. Crunch would lose its finesse and probably become bitter by comparison. So you can sense that it's really a matter of taste. - Original Message - From: curtisdeltablues curtisdeltabl...@... To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 8:50 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Kirk kirk_bernhardt@ wrote: I drank wine for breakfast, I always forget the right wine pairing with Capt. Crunch, what is it again? Return to God the way you were born. I do believe that it's when I am on this topic that I praise God to the heavens. For as long as I can hold on. Otherwise I was born Athiest. Rastafari aren't supposed to get tats either. I did my good deeds for the day. I was nice to the supermarket girl, I gave a war vet two smokes, I gave a sick girl some Prilosec, I fed a depressed friend a line of sickening sweet bullshit that even sounded trite to me, but it got a laugh out of him. And I also ignored the ants I trampled, I drank wine for breakfast, I drove too fast and blasted Ashes Divide out the open windows. I looked with lust upon many many women. Many. I didn't cook dinner for my overworked wife. I asked the doc to up the dose on my Celexa. I'm yawning and stretching again. And I haven't even confessed the bad things I did. Not sure I got your point. Are we therefore more alike than we thought? I appreciate your taking time out to ramble with me. - Original Message - From: I am the eternal L.Shaddai@ To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 6:11 PM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency On Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 5:34 PM, Kirk kirk_bernhardt@ wrote: I remember this TV show that had a character who was 1. Crippled in a wheelchair. 2. A dwarf. 3. Jewish 4. Atheist 5. African American He said, If I'm happy, no one has the right to be unhappy. Count yer blessings, bubs, others here can see them. Ever read George C. Chesbro? Kirk, as you know it's starting to get warm where we live. Yesterday night I was working at the shelter and I tossed a new shirt to this guy. He pulled his shirt off and swapped it with the new one I'd tossed him. I was blown away to see that this guy had multiple instances of the Star of David and his initials in Hebrew tatted into his torso. I kind of just stopped when I saw that and didn't start up again. Thinking over it, this guy can't have been a good Jew because Jews don't get tats. Return to God the way your were born. When I think it over, I can't remember a single Middle Easterner with tats so I don't recall any with crescents. Just rambling. To subscribe, send a message to: fairfieldlife-subscr...@yahoogroups.com Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links To subscribe, send a message to: fairfieldlife-subscr...@yahoogroups.com Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
On Mar 24, 2009, at 8:30 PM, I am the eternal wrote: Return to God the way your were born. Then how does anyone justify circumcision? I left that part out figuring that no one would be an AHole. Well you obviously figured wrong. And why is asking a question being an asshole? Or is a personal attack all you've got? Circumcision. Covenant with God, God with Abraham. Gen. 17:10-14 and Lev. 12:3 Yeah, most of us know that one. It still doesn't jibe with returning the way you were born. That's as far as it goes. They don't get buried in Christian cemeteries, however, because they've so far failed to accept the Lord Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Sal
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
Shempster, glad I may be one of the first to respond here. First, there are probably a lot of us who are never more than a hairs breath away from crying. Second, just don't give up, even when you feel like it. Put one step ahead of the other, and continue to go forward. Sounds trite, I know, but if you keep plugging away, things fall into place one way or another. Other than that, you can't push depression out the door. You have to process it in some manner, and then sometimes it may just lift. Kind of like when you have a persistent headache, and suddenly it goes away, and your not even aware that it has gone away until after the fact. Wishing you the best. lurk --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcg...@... wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcg...@... wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome. My heart aches for both of you. I've been seriously depressed, and it's a m*therf*cker. Sounds like your loss of confidence is a function of being depressed, rather than the reverse, and it'll likely go away once you get the depression under control. The best possible advice is to get some professional counseling. Midlife crisis isn't a very helpful label, but it seems to apply chronologically, at least, in your case. There's lots of stuff on the Web about it if you feel like reading up. There are probably Web forums for people going through it to commiserate with each other and take some comfort from knowing that they aren't alone. You can certainly talk more about it here if you feel like it. Folks here are good listeners when somebody needs to unload. All the usual stuff applies too--eat right, get exercise, get plenty of sleep, spend time with other people, get involved in some group project, maybe a volunteer effort of some kind, if you have the energy for it. It strikes me that this has to be a tough time for anybody involved in finance professionally. Are you having career troubles related to the economic crisis? I just lit a stick of incense for you. Oh, and before Nabby says it--get a checking!
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend jst...@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcgurk@ wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome. My heart aches for both of you. I've been seriously depressed, and it's a m*therf*cker. Sounds like your loss of confidence is a function of being depressed, rather than the reverse, and it'll likely go away once you get the depression under control. The best possible advice is to get some professional counseling. Midlife crisis isn't a very helpful label, but it seems to apply chronologically, at least, in your case. There's lots of stuff on the Web about it if you feel like reading up. There are probably Web forums for people going through it to commiserate with each other and take some comfort from knowing that they aren't alone. You can certainly talk more about it here if you feel like it. Folks here are good listeners when somebody needs to unload. All the usual stuff applies too--eat right, get exercise, get plenty of sleep, spend time with other people, get involved in some group project, maybe a volunteer effort of some kind, if you have the energy for it. It strikes me that this has to be a tough time for anybody involved in finance professionally. Are you having career troubles related to the economic crisis? As crazy as it sounds, the financial crisis is actually good for the kinds of products that I offer the public. Indeed, I have a product I offer under the label of Market Recovery Program...there's no reason I shouldn't be raking it in...but I'm not. And that's because I am so despondent. I can't tell you whether it's the depression that is causing the loss of confidence or the other way around. I just lit a stick of incense for you. Oh, and before Nabby says it--get a checking!
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, lurkernomore20002000 steve.sun...@... wrote: Shempster, glad I may be one of the first to respond here. First, there are probably a lot of us who are never more than a hairs breath away from crying. Second, just don't give up, even when you feel like it. Put one step ahead of the other, and continue to go forward. Sounds trite, I know, but if you keep plugging away, things fall into place one way or another. Other than that, you can't push depression out the door. You have to process it in some manner, and then sometimes it may just lift. Kind of like when you have a persistent headache, and suddenly it goes away, and your not even aware that it has gone away until after the fact. Wishing you the best. lurk I went to the doctor last week and he prescribed Xanax for me. But I refuse to even fill the prescription. I've seen members of my own family get on this sorts of drugs and it fucks them up for a lifetime. A friend's mother recommended something called Valerian Root. I picked up a bottle of Valerian Root Extract pills (60 pills per bottle, 50 mg each) for the ridiculously low price of $5.00 at Sprout's and I must say it is a Godsend. I've taken it about 4 days now -- a few hours before going to sleep -- and it has really helped me sleep. As it is I am still only able to sleep about 4 hours a night. But at least I lie in bed -- albeit awake -- and I'm sure I'm getting at least some rest that way, for the rest of the time. But my despondency is big. And I have no one to blame but myself for the horrible mess I'm in. I'm actually considering calling a crisis line (no, not for suicide...I'm not having those thoughts), something I've never before done. But it does help talking about it here. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcgurk@ wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcg...@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend jstein@ wrote: snip It strikes me that this has to be a tough time for anybody involved in finance professionally. Are you having career troubles related to the economic crisis? As crazy as it sounds, the financial crisis is actually good for the kinds of products that I offer the public. Indeed, I have a product I offer under the label of Market Recovery Program...there's no reason I shouldn't be raking it in...but I'm not. And that's because I am so despondent. Don't know anything about your product, but people are just scared sh*tless these days and may not be willing to do *anything* for fear of making things worse. In any case, even if it *should* be good for you, the general gloom and doom is really unsettling, and if you're feeling less than on top of things anyway, it could certainly be exacerbating your negative mood. I can't tell you whether it's the depression that is causing the loss of confidence or the other way around. Just pointing out that it could be the former. Doesn't really matter. Would you consider seeking out some counseling?
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, lurkernomore20002000 steve.sun...@... wrote: I was touched by this and by Judy's sincere post. This is real live shit. I have some core principles that work for me. Judy hit the basics of rest and exercise and eating well and that is really critical in my experience. If you are ragged out you will feel like shit. Vince Lambarde told the Green Bay Packers, Fatigue makes cowards of us all. In my life I gotta say that TM is not rest. Sleep is rest. TM is something else. It creates fatigue somehow. You have to find your own balance on this. But be wary of inward practices. You may need to focus outwards to find your bliss. Exercise creates energy. Hard, makes-you-sweat exercise. And exercise is the opposite physiology of being depressed. I would like to up the ante and include eating things that make you feel joy. If you haven't been to a real cheese shop lately I recommend a trip. Sounds trite till you put a piece of soft sheep cheese in your mouth! Sensuality is a form of spirituality that I'm sure Kirk will understand. I could get up every day in joy if I only had a heat source to cook with, I love food that much. Mentally I rely on Rational Emotive Therapy to get me through the thought distortions that make me think that life is more or less than what I can DO to make myself happy. If I only had guitar to live for it would work for me but YMMV. Sometimes trip to to a pro is the ticket, I have heard. I don't doubt that. I have underutilized this resource except in books. Time to get your support base off FFL in line, call an old friend up. We all need love and it may have been a while since you told someone how much they mean to you. You might be surprised how much you mean to them if you give them a chance to express it. I've been on the cliff too. I faced the meaninglessness and chose my own meaning. I'm getting better at focusing in on what matters for my life. I'm taking it day by day. Every day I choose what matters to me and how I can matter to others. Some days I totally suck at it. Others give me hope. Hope is more innocent than faith. It works for me. I was touched by people here really giving a shit about online personalities. We are naturally caring creatures. That is beautiful. Shempster, glad I may be one of the first to respond here. First, there are probably a lot of us who are never more than a hairs breath away from crying. Second, just don't give up, even when you feel like it. Put one step ahead of the other, and continue to go forward. Sounds trite, I know, but if you keep plugging away, things fall into place one way or another. Other than that, you can't push depression out the door. You have to process it in some manner, and then sometimes it may just lift. Kind of like when you have a persistent headache, and suddenly it goes away, and your not even aware that it has gone away until after the fact. Wishing you the best. lurk --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcgurk@ wrote: I can really identify with Kirk today. I'm in a transition in my life in which I am feeling really, really low. I've lost almost all confidence in myself. And I cry a lot (yeah, that's pretty sappy considering that I'm a 54 year old male). Any kind words or advise (yes, I'm asking!) directed my way will be very welcome.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcg...@... wrote: snip But my despondency is big. And I have no one to blame but myself for the horrible mess I'm in. I'm actually considering calling a crisis line (no, not for suicide... I'm not having those thoughts), something I've never before done. Good idea. But it does help talking about it here. Also a good idea. Not a good idea: beating yourself up. Whatever it was you did that created whatever your mess is, it was what you thought was the best thing to do at the time. It may have been a dumb idea in retrospect, but it seemed like a good one when you did it. Right?
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend jst...@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcgurk@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend jstein@ wrote: snip It strikes me that this has to be a tough time for anybody involved in finance professionally. Are you having career troubles related to the economic crisis? As crazy as it sounds, the financial crisis is actually good for the kinds of products that I offer the public. Indeed, I have a product I offer under the label of Market Recovery Program...there's no reason I shouldn't be raking it in...but I'm not. And that's because I am so despondent. Don't know anything about your product, but people are just scared sh*tless these days and may not be willing to do *anything* for fear of making things worse. In any case, even if it *should* be good for you, the general gloom and doom is really unsettling, and if you're feeling less than on top of things anyway, it could certainly be exacerbating your negative mood. I can't tell you whether it's the depression that is causing the loss of confidence or the other way around. Just pointing out that it could be the former. Doesn't really matter. Would you consider seeking out some counseling? Yes. A friend suggested I call a crisis hotline. I've got the number off the internet and it's sitting on my table. Now, it's just a matter of getting up the nerve to call.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcg...@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend jstein@ wrote: snip Would you consider seeking out some counseling? Yes. A friend suggested I call a crisis hotline. I've got the number off the internet and it's sitting on my table. Now, it's just a matter of getting up the nerve to call. How long do you think that will take?
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend jst...@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcgurk@ wrote: snip But my despondency is big. And I have no one to blame but myself for the horrible mess I'm in. I'm actually considering calling a crisis line (no, not for suicide... I'm not having those thoughts), something I've never before done. Good idea. But it does help talking about it here. Also a good idea. Not a good idea: beating yourself up. Whatever it was you did that created whatever your mess is, it was what you thought was the best thing to do at the time. It may have been a dumb idea in retrospect, but it seemed like a good one when you did it. Right? Actually, it was sheer irresponsibility on my part and in my heart of hearts I knew it was not the right course of action. Now it's catching up to me. But I am beating myself up on it all. Because I feel I deserve to be beaten up for all the things I've fucked up on.
[FairfieldLife] Re: More despondency
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, shempmcgurk shempmcg...@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend jstein@ wrote: snip Not a good idea: beating yourself up. Whatever it was you did that created whatever your mess is, it was what you thought was the best thing to do at the time. It may have been a dumb idea in retrospect, but it seemed like a good one when you did it. Right? Actually, it was sheer irresponsibility on my part and in my heart of hearts I knew it was not the right course of action. Now it's catching up to me. But I am beating myself up on it all. Because I feel I deserve to be beaten up for all the things I've fucked up on. And what the hell good will that do?? What if you weren't depressed, would you still be beating yourself up? Have you had depressions before, by the way? (I ask because you said calling a crisis hotline was something you'd never done before, as if there had been a before when you might have done it but didn't.) Basically, when you're depressed, you can't really trust how you're viewing things; the depression distorts everything.`If I were you, I'd try very hard to postpone making judgments about myself until I was feeling better. It doesn't help you *now* to play coulda-shoulda-woulda.
