[lace] Repeated emails

2005-12-07 Thread Jean Nathan
Is anyone else getting emails from lace that they've already received a few 
days previously? I've been experiencing 'groundhog day' on and off for the 
past few days.


Jean in Poole, Dorset, UK 


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RE: [lace] Repeated emails

2005-12-07 Thread Ruth Budge
Yes, Jean, I havebeen happening for perhaps three days now!
Ruth (Sydney, Australia)


-Original Message-
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of
Jean Nathan
Sent: 07 December 2005 19:52
To: Lace
Subject: [lace] Repeated emails

Is anyone else getting emails from lace that they've already received a few
days previously? I've been experiencing 'groundhog day' on and off for the
past few days.

Jean in Poole, Dorset, UK 

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[lace] Christmas Card Exhange

2005-12-07 Thread Karen
Hi All,
Mistakenly sent this to Chat yesterday, so apologies for duplication

My Christmas Exchange Card arrived safely this morning.  It  is my first
real Christmas card for this year and already has pride of place on the
mantlepiece.  Many thanks to Annelore Stone in WA, USA for  a lovely card
with a removable Christmas ornament ring to use on the tree in future years.

My card to Canada was posted yesterday.  I hope it arrives safely.
Merry Christmas
Karen
In Coventry

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[lace] Re: wire lace- Gloriana book

2005-12-07 Thread Tamara P Duvall

On Dec 6, 2005, at 11:21, [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:

I have become enthralled with wire lace and am aspiring to learn how 
to make

it myself.


I still think you'll be best served if you come to the workshop that 
Susan Lambiris will be giving in NC in spring (don't know the precise 
date yet). It would be plunging in at the deep end a bit, since Susan 
uses a finer basic wire than most of the books/teachers  use/recommend, 
but, with Suchanek now out of the teaching picture, she's, I think, the 
most knowledgeable person in navigating between _fine_ thread lace, and 
_fine_ wire lace, instead of just creating big wire projects in coarse 
wire.



I believe that the only book on the subject is called  Gloriana
and I am wondering if it is worth buying it for myself for Christmas.


There are two Gloriana books, both by Dianna Stevens. I have neither of 
them (as yet; after Christmas, maybe g), so can't say how much of a 
Christmas gift to oneself they might make. In addition to the books, 
Dianna has made some of the basics of wire-work available on her 
website, and they're excellent as a starting point. I expect that 
Gloriana I at least would include those in a less ephemeral format.


http://www.domesticarts.com/

You can also look at the Gloriana books - or, at least, the projects 
contained in them - at the same website.



Is this the only book or is there another?


There are two other books available, and both had been mentioned on the 
list: Arline Fisch's Textile Techniques in Metal and Ann Dyer's 
Copper Wire Lace. I now own both of those, and have some problems 
with both of them but would, on the whole, recommend Dyer over Fisch, 
if what you're interested in is wire _bobbin_ lace. Fisch's book is 
fascinating as a whole, but her section on BL is miniscule and hardly 
inspiring. To a BL-er, her crocheting and knitting sections are much 
more interesting, as is the Sprang section (also very short).


Dyer, at least, concentrates on _BL_ in wire, though she too has some 
funny ideas (like: no bobbins at all) and, like Fisch, seems to 
prefer fairly coarse wire. From my point of view, Dyer's greatest 
weakness is trying to cater to two entirely different markets in a 
single book - those who already know something about bobbin lace 
(though in thread only) and those who'd never set a BL stitch before. 
It may have seemed, at the time, that such approach would broaden the 
reader-base and appeal, but I find it frustrating to have to wade 
through instrucions on what a half-stitch is on the one hand, while not 
having the differences between working a hst in thread versus one in 
wire stated loudly enough (for me) on the other. I need a change of 
focus, rather than a from scratch book (though I realise that my 
needs are not necessarily, in tune with the needs of others)


OTOH, both books represent fairly early experimentation with wire lace 
-- Dyer's book is copyrighted in '94 and Fisch's in '96. On top of 
which, not only did Fisch learn BL specifically for the purpose (and 
just enough to manage some simple pieces), but Dyer also says she'd not 
been a very proficient BL-er before she shifted from thread to wire. So 
both of them are scrambling for solutions more than the post-Suchanek 
lacemakers have had to; we're not starting from zero, we're building on 
what there is - provided by the intrepid explorers :)


--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)

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Re: [lace] Re: lace-digest V2005 #380

2005-12-07 Thread Dorte Tennison

Hi all,

As kids we always put our shoe in the window and in the morning there was
chocolates in it.  We did this for about 10 nights before Christmas. My
parents are Danish so it must be a tradition there/then!

It is, we used to do that when I was a kid, allso we used to have a 
wallhang, with 24 rings for 24 small parcel, like a sweet, pencil etc. the 
motiv was off cours winter, fatherchritmas etc. and embroid.

Dorte

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RE: [lace] Repeated emails

2005-12-07 Thread Janette Humphrey
I'll put my hand up as well!

Janette in Canberra Australia

-Original Message-
From:   Ruth Budge [SMTP:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent:   Wednesday, 7 December 2005 7:57 PM
To: 'Lace'
Subject:RE: [lace] Repeated emails

Yes, Jean, I havebeen happening for perhaps three days now!
Ruth (Sydney, Australia)


-Original Message-
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of
Jean Nathan
Sent: 07 December 2005 19:52
To: Lace
Subject: [lace] Repeated emails

Is anyone else getting emails from lace that they've already received a few
days previously? I've been experiencing 'groundhog day' on and off for the
past few days.

Jean in Poole, Dorset, UK 

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[lace] honiton initial for Godmother's present

2005-12-07 Thread julie newman
  Hi Dorte
   
  Unfortunately I havent got a picture of the Honiton initial I did, it was 
before I had a scanner. But I can look for the pattern in my pattern box (I 
photocopied it from a book but cant remember which one it was!) if youd like to 
know. It was in 120 cotton and was an italic type of initial with a small 
flower. The book had the whole alphabet.
  Its the only Honiton Ive made in 120 but looked very nice.
   
  Regards
  Julie



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[lace] Repeated emails

2005-12-07 Thread Margot Walker

On Wednesday, December 7, 2005, at 04:52  AM, Jean Nathan wrote:

Is anyone else getting emails from lace that they've already received a 
few days previously?


It's happening to me too.

Margot Walker in Halifax on the east coast of Canada
Visit the Seaspray Guild of Lacemakers web site:
http://www3.ns.sympatico.ca/quinbot/seaspray/SeasprayLaceGuild.html

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[lace] Thanks Nora! (card exchange)

2005-12-07 Thread The Mouzons
I have received a very sweet Christmas card and note from Nora.  It is a 
scene of a house surrounded by snow! (I'm still hoping for a little of 
it myself)  There is a beautiful star ornament enclosed and also a 
letter.  She did a great job on it, and doesn't even read the language 
in which the instructions were written.  Nora is all the way over on the 
west coast of Canada and I am here on the east coast of Florida.  Yet we 
have a bunch in common!  Thank you so much for your wonderful gift.  It 
has made my Christmas richer already!!
Hope you have a special Christmas and that your New Year finds your 
completed file larger than your wish file :)  Somehow, I doubt that is 
possible for a lacemaker...


Thanks again!
Debbie in Florida

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[lace] My Christmas Card

2005-12-07 Thread Diane Williams
Thank you Beth in Louisiana!  

I received the sweetest little lace bird on a card -
and directions inside on how to put it together for a
3D bird that I can hang.  I've brought it to work and
will take it to my sewing circle to show off before I
put it all together.  What a clever pattern!

This is my first time and I've really enjoyed
participating in the exchange.  Thank you Bev for
organizing it.  I can't wait to see all the pictures
on Barbara's website.

P.S. Beth - while my 7-year old son thought the lace
was nice, he confiscated the card with Santa's sleigh
pulled by alligators.  He thought that was cool.

Diane Williams
Galena, Illinois USA (-14 degrees this morning!)
[EMAIL PROTECTED]



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[lace] Thank you

2005-12-07 Thread Malvary J Cole
Thank you Alice for my card which arrived safely this morning, amid a pile of
mail.  I spotted it immediately, then the phone rang.  I answered the phone
and it was my aunt who talked for ages about her trip to England - all the
while I could hear the card calling me from across the room :-)

Thank you so much - what a neat idea to make two angels holding one candle so
it becomes 3-D.

Thanks too for the photos of Oregon - it reminded me of when I came out to the
Pacific Northwest Lace Convention (is is Convention or Conference?) when it
was held in Portland.  My friend and I drove down from Canada via the San Juan
Islands and all down the coast of Washington and Oregon before turning inland
and then north back up to Portland - probably about 1993.

Again many thanks - as soon as I get my tree it will take pride of place.
When I told my friend about it, he immediately asked if I wanted to get the
tree this weekend (no thanks, I'm hosting a potluck lunch and meeting on
Sunday, don't need to have to worry about a tree too).

Malvary in Ottawa

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[lace] Beautiful Lace Card

2005-12-07 Thread laura sandison
Wow!  Thank you so much, Noelene Lafferty!  The card is stunning!  
   
  The white card base has a tree-shaped cutout. The cutout has a padded tree in 
gold lamé popped out of the tree shape. The removable tree topper is a ring of 
gorgeous lace with a silver gimp.  Topping the ring is my favorite...an angel 
with a heart!
   
  The I love learning about your part of Australia!  The boys have already 
wow-ed over the hills and trees.  I have to tell you, my favorite of your 
lovely poetry is My Sanity.  It certainly hits home at this moment!  I've 
just gotten back into my lacemaking after several years away due to an 
accident. First things were to finish and clear pillows, and now creating new 
WIP's (works in progress).
   
  Thanks to Bev for organizing this exchange!  It was great to have a deadline 
to work for.
   
  In Lace,
  Laura Sandison
  Lace! in New Mexico, USA
   
  Bright and sunny, but 6 degrees F!!!  BRRR!
   
   


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Re: [lace] Re: advent calendars

2005-12-07 Thread bevw
Hi all, and Dorte

 It is, we used to do that when I was a kid, allso we used to have a
 wallhang, with 24 rings for 24 small parcel, like a sweet, pencil etc. the
 motiv was off cours winter, fatherchritmas etc. and embroid.

I had always thought I'd make one for my kids when they were little -
but Christmas caught up with me, and as things got more and more
commercial, I ended up down-playing it, so that they weren't too
disappointed if we hadn't bought the whole toy store for them vbg

I would like to make one in lace - that is a different little lacey
thing to hang on the ring for each day..
There are chocolate advent calendars, that are fun - open a little
cardboard door to get the choccie, one per day... but my fave  is the
one at The Lace Guild site - which reminds me I haven't visited it in
a couple of days!

--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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[lace] CD #5

2005-12-07 Thread Tess Parrish
Yes, just in time for Christmas!  The Professor finally got all the 
accumulated books and publications onto the last of the CDs.  These 
five will make the set.  We will keep adding to the web site as other 
things become available, but this is it for the CDs.


If you are interested in ordering a copy of CD #5, the cost is as 
before: $10 plus postage ($1 domestic, $2 international).  If you don't 
have US dollars, you can use Paypal, but as I have to pay a fee for 
each transaction I can only offer this service to those with other 
currencies.


Please email me privately with your mailing address.  Mine is:

Tess Parrish
33 Applegate Lane
Falmouth, Maine 04105
USA

If you want a list of the publications on the CD, I will be glad to 
email it to you.


Tess in Maine USA ([EMAIL PROTECTED])

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[lace] Christmas Card Exchange

2005-12-07 Thread Annelore Stone
Hello,

I sent this to Lace Chat yesterday, and I should have sent it to Lace.

My Christmas Card Exchange arrived safely on Saturday.  It is a very pretty
piece of lace made in the shape of a tapered ornament.  Many thanks to Jane
Dobinson of Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada, for this lovely card with the
removable ornament which will be on my Christmas tree this year!  I wish that
I would have thought of doing such an interesting pattern.  Perhaps I will get
to meet you in Montreal next year.

Annelore Stone in the shadow of Mt. Rainier in the Great State of Washington

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[lace] Repeated emails

2005-12-07 Thread Jane Partridge
In message [EMAIL PROTECTED], [EMAIL PROTECTED]
writes
I recommend dropping this 'poll,' because there's nothing I can do about it.

At a guess, a server was down somewhere for maintenance or whatever, and
when it was restarted they set the clock back to ensure nothing got lost
- but at least with (probably) all of us having seen double, it wasn't
the wine this time! :-)
-- 
Jane Partridge

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Re: [lace] Re: wire lace- Gloriana book

2005-12-07 Thread bevw
Hi Tamara, and Devon, and list

  I have become enthralled with wire lace and am aspiring to learn how

Go for it, Devon - how hard can it be ;)
The Gloriana books are, IMO, the best DIY instruction. You can get the
principles nailed (as it were) with the first book, then go for the
second with some proven designs, or just take off on your own.

 Dyer, at least, concentrates on _BL_ in wire, though she too has some
 funny ideas (like: no bobbins at all)

Tamara, that isn't a funny idea at all! - the several times I've
tried wire lace, I discarded the bobbins soon into the projects. Wire
isn't a thread. It is an inorganic strand and you move it differently
than thread comprised of fibres. You don't *need* bobbins to make wire
lace, but they are useful to manage many wires. For small projects, it
is just as straightforward to make the piece from the beginning 'up' -
would drive an experienced BL'maker crazy - but I found it works a
treat - have the wires hanging *away* from you, and the worked part
towards you. It's actually a cool way to see BL, from the other side
;)
(have to admit I'm not keen on wire to begin with, but sometimes the
occasion calls for it)

General advice: Keep in mind the wire is more folded than the twisted
as we do with thread. You can work the bobbins as if they were holding
thread, but why fight the materials?
I find that wire lace has to be made with deliberate movements (e.g.
folding, pressing in place) - mostly you can't un-lace anyway without
wrecking the integrity of the wire - but you can snip off a bent bit,
and neatly 'wire' on a new piece. In that respect, working with wire
is forgiving. A lot of experience in bobbin lace in thread might
hinder progress in wire - when  problems with the latter can't be
solved by solutions used in the former.
;)

--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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Re: [lace] Repeated emails

2005-12-07 Thread bevw
FWIW I didn't see double at google-mail...

 At a guess, a server was down somewhere for maintenance or whatever, and
 when it was restarted they set the clock back to ensure nothing got lost

--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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[lace] RE: card exchange and new pillow

2005-12-07 Thread Mary Robi

Seasons Greetings,

My apologies to my card exchange partner. I had my wisdom teeth pulled and 
haven't felt well. My card goes to the post office today at 4:00 pm. So 
sorry!


I begged and promised favors to get my DH to help me make a Puerto Rican 
travel pillow. The pattern was the one at lacefairy.com. I measured and drew 
out the pattern pieces and assembled it, and DH did the cutting. It looks 
pretty good. I still need to cover the roller and get a pattern on it!


If you'd like to see it, it's on my blog here:
http://360.yahoo.com/weavermoria

Unfortunately, bobbin lace has been put on hold until I get knitted 
Christmas gifts finished. The bobbins are screaming at me. I've finally got 
enough East Midlands to do a project and some new ones to spangle. They are 
so pretty, and not at all hard to use as I thought they'd be.


I'm horribly behind on digests, so I need to catch up!

Mary

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[lace] Christmas Ornament

2005-12-07 Thread Carol Melton

Hello Everyone,
I received my lovely Christmas card and ornament from Sue Clothier in 
England.  The hand made card depicted the three Wise Men and a whole 
sky full of stars. One of the stars is a beautiful needlelace star made 
from glittery thread.  It is quite gorgeous hanging on our tree.  Thank 
you Sue, I will treasure my ornament always.   It is the only piece of 
needle lace that I have.  Did you scan it or take a digital photo and 
send to Barbara?  If not I will do it for you.  I don't want anyone to 
miss seeing it.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Carol Melton
Litchfield Park, Arizona
USA

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RE: [lace] Repeated emails

2005-12-07 Thread Jane Bawn
Thank goodness for that I thought I was going barmy.  Or de ja vue. or
something.

Jane
Hants UK

-Original Message-
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Behalf Of
Jean Nathan
Sent: 07 December 2005 08:52
To: Lace
Subject: [lace] Repeated emails


Is anyone else getting emails from lace that they've already
received a few
days previously? I've been experiencing 'groundhog day' on and off for the
past few days.

Jean in Poole, Dorset, UK

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RE: [lace] memorial obbins

2005-12-07 Thread s va
Does anyone know of any bobbin makers that will paint memorial bobbins with 
picture of a deceased pet?

Wendy

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Re: [lace] Re: Slagelse Lace Fair/church window lace

2005-12-07 Thread Jo Falkink
(...) It's a shop 
of Lace guild in Czech Republic http://www.krajka.com/krajka/ , but they 
open only on call. I asked and took a business card for you.


A great part of this site
http://www.krajka.com/krajka/clanky%2005-1/04-05.htm

Jo Falkink

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[lace] new books

2005-12-07 Thread Theo Brejaart
Just published:

VERZAMELDE KERSTBOMEN IN 'S GRAVENMOERSE KANT
(collection of Christmas trees in 's Gravenmoerse lace ) by Corrie Versluis.
+/- 80 pgs A5 PB.  Lot of Christmas trees, clear patterns and diagrams.

Just received:

Two booklets by the Spanish Carolina de la Guardia

SPANISH BRAID LACE WITCH STITCH  I
published 2003, 26 pgs A4 spiral bound.
9 stylish contemporary patterns in braid lace: 4 full covers, 1 cover with
fabric insert, 4 figuratives.

SPANISH BRAID LACE WITCH STITCH  II
published 2005. 28 pgs A4, spiral bound.
10 new patterns in braid lace: 2 fans, 2 full covers, 4 covers with fabric
insert, 2 figuratives

For further details please contact us.

Kind regards,
Theo Brejaart, p.o.box 5199, 3008 AD Rotterdam, Netherlands
tel. ++ 31 10 4852571  fax ++ 31 10 4854889
www.brejaart.com  E-mail [EMAIL PROTECTED]

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Re: [lace] memorial obbins

2005-12-07 Thread Sue Babbs

Janet Retter did a lovely job of my (living) pet from a photograph

http://www.janetretter.freeservers.com/

Biggins do a lot of painted animal bobbins and might help you
http://www.bigginslace.co.uk/bobbins_shop.htm#hand
Sue
- Original Message - 
From: s va [EMAIL PROTECTED]

To: lace@arachne.com
Sent: Wednesday, December 07, 2005 12:46 PM
Subject: RE: [lace] memorial obbins


Does anyone know of any bobbin makers that will paint memorial bobbins 
with picture of a deceased pet?

Wendy

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Re: [lace] memorial obbins

2005-12-07 Thread Margot Walker

On Wednesday, December 7, 2005, at 02:46  PM, s va wrote:

Does anyone know of any bobbin makers that will paint memorial bobbins 
with picture of a deceased pet?


Janet Retter paints beautiful bobbins, using a photograph that you send 
her.  I just checked her website 
(http://www.janetretter.freeservers.com/Bobbins.html) and she will paint 
pets.  I'm just a very satisfied customer.  I've just ordered my 20th 
custom painted bobbin from her - one for every country I've visited.


Margot Walker in Halifax on the east coast of Canada
Visit the Seaspray Guild of Lacemakers web site:
http://www3.ns.sympatico.ca/quinbot/seaspray/SeasprayLaceGuild.html

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RE: [lace] honiton initial for Godmother's present

2005-12-07 Thread mary carey

Hi All,

I have a book called Alphabet Inspirations in Coloured Bobbin Lace by 
Sandi Woods published by Batsford.  Have not worked any but have learned to 
buy a book when you see it.


Mary Carey
Campbelltown, NSW, Australia

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Re: [lace] Repeated emails

2005-12-07 Thread Ann Blunden

Yes Jean,
I have here in Australia for the last three days or so.

Ann Blunden,
NSW Australia
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
- Original Message - 
From: Jean Nathan [EMAIL PROTECTED]

To: Lace Lace@arachne.com
Sent: Wednesday, December 07, 2005 7:52 PM
Subject: [lace] Repeated emails



Is anyone else getting emails from lace that they've already received a
few days previously? I've been experiencing 'groundhog day' on and off for
the past few days.

Jean in Poole, Dorset, UK
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[lace] Re: wire lace

2005-12-07 Thread Tamara P Duvall

On Dec 7, 2005, at 12:27, bevw wrote:


 You don't *need* bobbins to make wire
lace, but they are useful to manage many wires.


And there, as we say in Poland (and in Germany, I've been told g), 
lies the dog, buried... Theoretically, you don't need bobbins to make 
_thread_ lace, either.


Bobbins (spools with handles) may not be necessary -- Susan Lambiris 
doesn't use any for gimps, for example -- but they're useful in several 
ways.


They're -- as you say -- useful for managing many wires. That means 
both many pairs and few pairs, but also of wire which is plied. A 
single, thick wire, gimp pair is easy to handle (and relatively kind to 
the hands). A pair of the same thickness but composed of several plies 
would b much harder to manage, even if the plies were (losely) twisted 
together. Yet, plying wire -- just like plying thread -- offers an 
opportunity to play with colour. Also, thickness for thickness, a plied 
wire is more... well... pliable; it's easier to work with.


Bobbins are also useful for taking up the excess, gently. Working with 
a 15 or longer wire (especially if fine) without a bobbin is likely to 
put more stress on the wire than winding onto the neck of the bobbin. 
IOW, the project has to be small not only in the number of pairs, but 
in overal length as well, if you want to use it without the spools 
with handles.



General advice: Keep in mind the wire is more folded than the twisted
as we do with thread.


Depends on the thickness of the wire; the finer it is, the more it 
behaves like a thread, though it's true that certain properties _do_ 
differ in the two fibers and need to be considered. Susan Lambiris' 
basic tenet -- anything you can do in thread you can also do in wire 
(and, often, better g) -- stands, and to a much greater extent than 
suggested in Dyer's book. But, at the same time, some techniques are 
more difficult to adapt to wire work than others.


--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)

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Re: [lace] Re: wire lace

2005-12-07 Thread bevw

   You don't *need* bobbins to make wire
  lace, but they are useful to manage many wires.

... Theoretically, you don't need bobbins to make
 _thread_ lace, either.

If you count finger-weaving - I would agree. But 'bobbin' lace -
needs... bobbins... The bobbins manage and package the thread, whereas
wire can be handled without. you can tape it out of the way until
needed, if necessary. Even plied wire, and even when combining
colours. You've got to think outside your pillow ;)
For very fine wire, bobbins or similar management are probably
necessary, but fine wire poses other problems - such as it can break
and kink - so then multiple strands can be used - and although I'd be
happier without the bobbins, the type that are described in Gloriana
are perfect..

 Bobbins are also useful for taking up the excess, gently.

But only if winding the wire around something doesn't destroy its
integrity, for making the lace. Have you ever tried making wire lace
without bobbins - by having the unused wires ahead of you? as in
basketry. It requires rethinking of the 'bobbin lace' part of the
method.

 differ in the two fibers and need to be considered.

sigh - wire is not a fibre! It is a strand; it is inorganic, and it
differs a lot from 'thread' made of linen, cotton, polyester...
'metal' when used as thread, isn't wire ;)

I pick these nits so as to point out that wire lacemaking isn't
necessarily an easy transition from making bobbin lace conventionally.

--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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[lace-chat] :-) Calling the Computer Tech Support

2005-12-07 Thread Jean Nathan
Customer:   I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just 
doesn't work.  What am I doing wrong?

Tech support:  OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah..
Tech support:  And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer:   Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD 
player and all I get is weird noises. Listen

Tech support: Aaaa!!!
===
Tech support:  What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer:  A white one...
===
Customer:   Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support:  Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer:   Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support:  That doesn't  sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer:   No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still 
on my desk... sorry

===
Tech support:  Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer:   Your left or my left?
===
Tech support:  Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer:  Hello... I can't print.
Tech support:  Would you click on start  for me and...
Customer:   Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill 
Gates, damn it!

===
Customer:   Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I 
try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed 
it in front of the

monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===
Customer :  I have problems printing in red...
Tech support:  Do you have a color printer?
Customer:   Aaaah.thank you.

===
Tech support:  What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
===
Customer :  My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:  Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:   No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:   OK
Tech support:  Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:   Yes
Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another 
keyboard?

Customer:   Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work
===
Tech support:  Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital 
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer:   Is that 7 in capital letters?
===
Customer:   I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:   Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:   Five stars.
===
Tech support:  What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:   Netscape.
Tech support:  That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:   Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===
Customer:I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on 
my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


===
Tech support:  How may I help you?
Customer:   I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support:  OK,  and what seems to be the problem?
Customer :   Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get 
the circle around it?

===
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her 
printer.

Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
Customer:   No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. 
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his 
printer is

working fine.
===
And last but not least:
Tech support: Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the 
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type 
the

letter P to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer:   I don't have a P.
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:   What do you mean?
Tech support:  P.on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:   I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

Jean in Poole, Dorset, UK 


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[lace-chat] Home Honeymoon

2005-12-07 Thread David Collyer

Home Honeymoon
Fred and Mary get married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they went back 
to mom and dads for the night. In the morning, little Johnny gets up and 
has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks 
his mum if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, No.
Johnny asks, Do you know what I think? His mom replies, Never mind what 
you think! Just go to school.

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, Is Fred and Mary up yet?
She replies, No.
Johnny says, Do you know what I think?
His mom replies, Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to 
school.

After school, he comes home and asks, Is Fred and Mary up yet?
His mom says, No.
Johnny asks, Do you know what I think?
His mom replies, OK! What do you think?
He says, Well, last night Fred came in for the Vaseline and I think I gave 
him my airplane glue


David in Ballarat


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Internal Virus Database is out-of-date.
Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.
Version: 7.1.362 / Virus Database: 267.13.1/169 - Release Date: 15/11/05

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[lace-chat] Advent calendar memories

2005-12-07 Thread Alice Howell
Speaking about advent calendars made me remember what
my mother did.  The first Christmas each of us had
away from home, she made an Advent Box.  There was
something wrapped up for each day of December up to
Christmas.  The packages were numbered, and we had to
seach  for the right one each day.

The first year she spent December alone after Dad
died, I made her a box.  It can be interesting, and
even challenging, to find 25 small gifts for a person.

Maybe, today, I'll get my Christmas wreath out of the
attic and get it decorated for this year.  I save the
grapevine base and put fresh greenery on it each year.
 I made the base from a single, long, vine several
years ago.  It has very large fir cones hanging from
it.  With a red ribbon, and fresh greens, it looks
quite gay (and unique).

Alice in Oregon -- where it's very cold, foggy, and
there's snow on the higher elevations but not in my
town.  

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[lace-chat] falling teddy bears

2005-12-07 Thread Bev Walker
Here's the link to the falling teddy bears:

http://www.nobodyhere.com/toren.hier

-- 
bye for now
Bev in Sooke, BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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[lace-chat] Re Christmas Card Exchange

2005-12-07 Thread Shirley
My card from Tamara arrived last week and is very beautiful, I will be able 
to put the ornament on my tree for many years to come. I have been trying to 
send this for a week now and it keeps coming back I hope it works this time

Shirley in Corio Oz.
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[lace-chat] Re: [lace] Repeated emails

2005-12-07 Thread Carol Adkinson
Hi All,

Yes - I have had several repeats, over the last several days - but I am
wondering whether it is my computer which is having a moment!!!

Every now and again, as well as the 'repeated messages', about every
three/four months, my Spam Filter (see - all the technical terms ...) seems
to take aversion to too many subject lines of the same name, and hurls them
into the deepest pis of the Spam Killer - or wherever the 'blocked' messages
go.   I sometimes realise I have been reading messages answering things I
haven't read, go into the Spam thingy, and find lots of them just lurking
there.   I have no idea how to sort it out, just let the 'chap wot knows'
try and sort it out, but as soon as I think it is working properly, and I
relax, it does it again!

Maybe I was meant to live in the quill pen and ink-well time - I find the
computer just about as exasperating as the car!   I love it to bits but, if
things don't go as they should, I have no idea what to do about it!

Carol - in Suffolk UK



- Original Message - 
From: Ruth Budge [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: 'Lace' Lace@arachne.com
Sent: Wednesday, December 07, 2005 8:56 AM
Subject: RE: [lace] Repeated emails


 Yes, Jean, I havebeen happening for perhaps three days now!
 Ruth (Sydney, Australia)


 -Original Message-
 From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of
 Jean Nathan
 Sent: 07 December 2005 19:52
 To: Lace
 Subject: [lace] Repeated emails

 Is anyone else getting emails from lace that they've already received a
few
 days previously? I've been experiencing 'groundhog day' on and off for the
 past few days.

 Jean in Poole, Dorset, UK

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 [EMAIL PROTECTED]

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[lace-chat] :) Fwd: UN Survey

2005-12-07 Thread Tamara P Duvall
My memory being shot, I'm not sure if I'd seen this one before or not. 
But it still amuses (and reminds me of a similiar --if less globally 
comprehensive -- joke popular back in Poland)



From: D.C.


A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food
shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a huge failure...

In Africa they didn't know what food meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what honest meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what shortage meant.

In China they didn't know what opinion meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what solution meant.

In South America they didn't know what please meant.

And in the USA they didn't know what the rest of the world meant .

--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)

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