IT HAS……..
A lady (Paskelin) was slowly recovering from a heart attack.
She pleaded with her cardiologist (Dr. Falcao):-
Paskelin: Doctor, you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to be
there for my grand-son's First Holy Communion.
Dr. Falcao: (compassionately) We'll try,
WITH HOT……
A well-known personality (Mr. Rapoz) was very good in his speeches, for which
he was called the ‘Best Orator’. He used to grace many functions with his witty
speeches. In one of the function while he was giving a speech:-
Mr. Rapoz: Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a
WHERE TO……
Two thick friends (Fostu and Gustu) decided to rent a boat on a lake for
fishing.After fishing for almost 4 hours at various places around the lake with
no luck at all, they decided to try one more spot before calling it quits.
Suddenly things started to happen, and they caught
ALL OVER…..
A man (JackRuzar) walks into a bar. And as he makes his way to the counter, he
stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of
people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in.
Finally, the bar is empty except JackRuzar and
IT’S A……
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten Teacher (Teacher Kunda)
was receiving gifts from her pupils.First, the florist's son (Dhipu) handed her
a gift. She shook it and said:
Teacher Kunda: I bet I know what it is, it’s "Flowers".
Dhipu: (with surprise) That's right!
HAVE BEEN…..
A woman (Adelin) awoke during the night to findthat her husband (Martin) was
not on the bed. She goesdownstairs looking for him. Martin was sitting at the
kitchen table with a peg ofCashew Feni in front of him.Martin appeared to be in
deep thought,just staring at the wall. Adelin
I AM…..
Bostiao decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the
Trucking Company responsible for the accident to court.
In court , the Trucking Company's lawyer (Adv. Naran) was questioning Bostiao:-
Adv. Naran: Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I am
YOU ARE…...
A woman (Rozmari) accompanied her husband (Bostiao) to the hospital. After his
checkup, Dr. Pereira called Rozmari into his office alone:-
Dr. Pereira: Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, if you don’t
do the following, I am afraid your husband will surely die.
GOES TO...
A man (LuisPidade) dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a
different hell for each country. He goes first to the German Hell and asks:-
LuisPidade: What do they do here?
German: First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you
on a bed of
SMILE. IT'S WEEKEND
(17/08/2017)
RIGHT ON.
A man (Bosteao) feared his wife (Rozalin) wasn’t hearing as well as she used to
and he thought she might need hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her,
Bosteao goes to his family Doctor
COULD HAVE……
Premnath & Rajnath were business partners, they both had Sardarjis as their
personnel drivers. One fine day, they were having an friendly argument about
whose driver is more stupid and fool. So Premnath called his driver:-
Premnath: Oye Utpal Singh.
Utpal Singh: Ji Sir-ji.
WANT TO……
It’s most women’s nature that they are suspicious of their husbands. It’s said
that even the first female (Eve) in this world, became suspicious of her
husband (Adam):-
Eve: I know that you are running around with other women.
Adam : What are you talking?
Eve: I am sure that you
THIS TIME…..
Josefin treats her husband (Jeffery) by taking him to a Dance-N-Dine Club for
his Birthday. At the entrance of the club:-
Door-Man: Hi Jeff, how are you?
Jeffery: I am good.
Josefin: How does he know you?
Jeffery: Oh dear, he plays football for our United Friends Club.
Inside
GO TO……
A sinless woman (Alzira) dies and arrives at the Gates of Heaven. She meets St.
Peter:-
Alzira: St. Peter, How do I get in?
St. Peter: You have to spell a word.
Alzira: Which word St. Peter?
St. Peter: "Faith"
Alzira: F…a…i…t…h... “FAITH”.
St. Peter: Welcome in the Heaven.
WAS TOLD……
An English Man went next door to welcome his new Asian Man neighbor. He was
shocked to see that Asian Man in his nice backyard chasing ten chickens around
like mad:-
English Man: (Thought to himself) Must be an Asian custom.
Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date,
ABOUT THE
A husband (Gustu) and wife (Perpet) had four Sons.
The odd part of it was thatthe older three had dark-brown hair, light-fair skin
and were tall. While the youngestSon had black hair, dark skin and was short.
Gustu eventually took ill and waslying on his deathbed. He
BUT WHO...
A distraught wife (Natolin) went to the local Police Station, along with her
next-doorneighbor (Apolin) to report that her husband was missing.
Police Officer (Atmaram) asked Natolin for a description of the missing man.
Natolin: He is 35 yearsold, height 6.4 inches, has
TIME TO…….
Pedru wascaught for robbing a Bank in Goa and put behind the bars in Aguad
Jail.
One day he receives a letter in the jail from hiswife Libru:
My Dear Husband Pedru,
Since you are nothere at home with me, I feel bored, I want to do some work to
keep mebusy, I have decided to
YOU ARE…….
A woman (Chermelin) enters into a jewelry shop, shewas overwhelmed to see the
varieties of glittering jewelry in there, she fartedwhile bending over looking
at a beautiful sparkling diamond ring. She looks aroundembarrassed and saw the
Salesman standing right behind her:-
I NEED…..
A wealthy man (Khalif) from a royal family of Jordan was touring in India. He
falls in love with a Guajarati girl and decides to meet her father (Mehtu).
Khalif: Your daughter is beautiful and I love her. If you let me marry her, I
will give you pure gold equal to her weight.
Mehtu
WHAT’S YOUR…….
A Boy(in his late twenties) usedto always go to a hillock next to his house and
pray to God.He had high hope that sooner or later God will answer hisprayer.
As usual, one fine evening he goes to the hillock,closes his eyes and start
praying loudly by raising his hands:-
THAT’S BECAUSE.
A little girl (Chinky)was in the garden filling in a hole. Her neighbor lady
(Pidu) peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced Chinky was up
to, Pidu politely asked:-
Pidu: What are you doingthere Chinky baby?
Chinky: (Replied tearfully without
HE IS...
There was the hot news that a man (JakOton) is celebrating his 100th birthday,
the media was eager to know how he maintained himself to complete the century:-
Prudent Reporter: Sir, I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look. What’s your
secret for a long happy life?
JakOton:
COME WITH.
A pretty woman (Pacienca) in her mid-sixties, boarded in a local flight. She
saw the passenger next to her was in ordinary clothes and not so good looking
black man. Pacienca was furious and called the Air Hostess:-
Air Hostess: Yes Ma’am?
Pacienca: Can’t you see? I was given
VERY RARELY……
Once, a divorce case was being settled in court and the Judge asked the little
kid (Ryan) of the couple:-
Judge: Ryan would you like to stay with your father?
Ryan: No, he beats me every day.
Judge: So, you want to stay with your mother?
Ryan: No, she also beats me.
The Judge
ALL IN……
A little boy (Elton) along with his mother (Tecla) goes to church for the
nuptial of their neighbor boy (Stephen).
After the nuptial while coming home Elton asked his mother:-
Elton: Mom.
Tecla: Yes Son.
Elton: Why the girl dressed all in white?
Tecla: The girl is called a bride and
ABOUT HIS….
An upset woman (Paciens) goes to a famous fortune teller (Ragoba), where he
welcomes her:-
Ragoba: Good morning Madam.
Paciens: Good morning.
Ragoba: Please take a seat.
Paciens: (Sitting) Thank you.
Ragoba: So you want to know about your future.
Paciens: No…..no, not about me.
BECAUSE OF…….
A man (Xaverito) was the regular customer of Lakabuku Bar & Restaurant .As
usual at evening Xaverito goes to that bar and takes a seat at the corner. The
Bartender knew him and his brand which he drinks every evening, takes his quota
to his table:-
Bartender: Good evening Sir.
HOW TO..
Pakistani tourists, a man (Anwar) and his wife (Zeinab) travels to the Middle
East. A Yemeni man (Khalid) approaches to (Anwar):-
Khalid: I'll give you 100 camels for your woman.
Anwar: What?? What did you say???
Khalid: You heard me, I said, I'll give you 100 camels for your
YOU HAD……
A man (JuzMunel) was living with his wife and two daughters.One fine morning,
he gave all of their four umbrellas for repair at one time and told the
umbrella-repairer that he would pick it up in the evening while back from work.
On the way to work in Bus, out of habit JuzMunel
GIVE ME……
Bostu & Fostu were very thick friends from their childhood.
One fine day:-
Bostu: Fostu, today let me check, how intelligent you are.
Fostu: No problem, what you want to know?
Bostu: Can you tell me, what’s there in my basket?
Fostu: What I will get if I guess right?
Cajetan,
Thanks for the story that makes you laugh for sure.
Go to the head of the class young man.
Here in Michigan we are eagerly waiting to see if Punxsutawney Phil will or
will not see his shadow to know when Spring will arrive
Enjoy Pennsylvania Polka from favorite movie " Groundhog
BACK AT…….
A government employee (Jamnadas) found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet.
When he dusted it off, a Genie appeared in front of him:-
Genie: I am here to grant you three wishes.
Jamnadas: Oh that’s great.
Genie: Tell me your first wish.
Jamnadas: I would love an ice-cold
HOW MUCH……..
Jakru was driving from Ribandar to Colvale (Bardez). On his way, when his car
entered on the Mandovi Bridge, he noticed that the traffic is almost jammed.
Jakru saw a group of men talking to every motorist. After sometime, one of the
group men came to Jakru:-
Man: Hello Sir.
IF HE……..
A guy (PedSuntiag) phoned to the Minister’s house, but gets his wife
(Chermelin) instead:-
PedSuntiag: Can I talk to the Minister? Chermelin: (Explains) I am sorry, he is
very sick and last week admitted in the hospital.
PedSuntiag: Can you give me his contact number over there?
SO I AM……
A Man (Bostiao) shouts to his Son (Jonan):-
Bostiao: Jonan, come here.
Jonan: Yes Daddy?
Bostiao: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
Jonan: But Daddy.
Bostiao: But what?
Jonan: I will only get my report card tomorrow.
Bostiao: I know…… I know that. But I am flying
FIND AN…..
On a flight, a Man (Kistod) said to a beautiful Lady (Ruzenka) sitting next to
him:-
Kistod: U….. Nice perfume.
Ruzenka: Thanks.
Kistod: Which one is it? Ruzenka: What?
Kistod: I mean, what’s the name of it?
Ruzenka: Why?
Kistod: I want to gift it to my wife.
Ruzenka: Don’t
IF I……..
A Surgeonparked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was
short oftime and couldn't find a space in any parking place. So he put a
noteunder the windshield wiper that read:-
"I have circledthe block 10 times. If I don't park here, I will miss my
important Medical
A HEARTY…….
A witness (Girgol) to an automobile accident was testifying.
Adv. Xembu asked him:-
Adv. Xembu: Didyou actually see the accident?
Girgol: Yes,sir.
Adv. Xembu: Howfar away were you, when the accident happened?
Girgol: Thirty-onefeet, six and one quarter inches.
Adv.
BUT.
A man (Bostu) meets his old buddy (Gustu) after a long time. Bostu looked
dejected and almost on the verge of tears:-
Gustu: Hey buddy, howcome you look like the whole world caved in?
Bostu: What to tell you Gustu. Three weeks ago,an uncle of mine died and left
me Fifty Lakhs.
NONE OF……
Gabru was at work. He was impatiently awaiting for the telephone call from the
maternity hospital because his wife was admitted in there with the labour pain.
His colleague (Sarto) was trying to comfort him:-
Sarto: Don’t worry Gabru you will get the good news soon.
Gabru: It’s
I CAN……
It was the coldest winter, a man (Pociano) was suffering from a miserable cold.
So he goes to see his family doctor (Dr. Roldanv) who prescribed him some
pills.After a week Pociano goes back to Dr. Roldanv:-
Pociano: Doctor, I took all those pills which you prescribed to me but they
YOU ARE…….
An old man (Minglu) visits his doctor (Dr. Porpotto) and after thorough
examination, Dr. Porpotto tells him:-
Dr. Porpotto: I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?
Minglu: Well, give me the bad news first.
Dr. Porpotto: You have cancer, I estimate that you
ON MY……..
Teodu was admitted in the hospital. His best friend (Baltu) goes to his doctor
and says:-Baltu: Doctor, how is my friend Teodu now?Doctor: His condition is
critical.Baltu: Doctor, as you know Teodu is my best friend, can I be with him
alone just for 5 minutes?Doctor: Okay, no
THIS IS...
A woman (Ezmerald) goes to a dentist with her two daughters (Eight years old
Scully and Five years Nelly).
Among nine other patients Ezmerald and Nelly were sitting in the waiting room
while Scully was being examined by the dentist in the examine room.
Nelly kept herself busy
IT IS..
PedSuntiag was having a party for his buddies at the terrace of his building.
While he was looking down from the building terrace for his invitees who were
yet to come…. his watch slipped and started falling down. He started running
down the staircase.On the way he saw some guests
LAZY TO…..
In Swindon, U.K., A young guy (Jostan) goes to his girlfriend (Leora’s) house
for the first time. She takes him into the living room:-
Leora: Love, what you like to have?
Jostan: Well, since it’s very cold, I would love to have a peg of brandy.
Leora: Oh sure, we have Macieira brandy,
I DID…….
Bostu saw an exhausted Inas running up to him:-
Bostu: Inas, what happened to you?
Inas: (Fatigued) What to tell you Bostu, there was a nasty Big Bull on the
street that nearly killed me today.
Bostu: Oh really, what happened?
Inas: I was just walking quietly wearing this red T-Shirt.
HOW THE...
A man (Hercu) goes to the local police station and meets Police Inspector in
charge (Inspector Rapoz):-
Hercu: Inspector, I want to talk to the burglar who had broken my house last
night.
Inspector Rapoz: (Adamant) No, you can’t do that.
Hercu: Why Inspector.
Inspector Rapoz: You
DON’T WANT……
A drunken man (Suntiag) gets on the bus, staggers up the aisle and sits next to
an elderly woman (Consu). Suntiag was terribly stinking which Consu could not
bear. She looks Suntiag up and down and says:-
Consu: Do you know something?
Suntiag: What?
Consu: I have got news for you.
LIKE TO…….
Isidor was at home, watching a Hindi serial “Babhi-ji Ghar-pe Haim” on TV. His
six year old daughter Sibyl comes home from the school:-
Sibyl: Hi Dad.
Isidor: Hisweetheart .
Sibyl: Today Igot result of my exams, here is my report card, I passed in all
the subjects.
EVEN FOR….
A man (Sushant) had two wives (Mogrem & Xenvtem), but his wives were not
awareof his second marriage nor they ever met each other.
Sushant wanted to find out if his wives werefaithful to him or not. So, he
decided to send them together on the same cruiseand then question them
FELL IN…….
A 5 yearold boy (Raju) came screaming out of the bathroom. His father
(Kaxinath) asked him:-
Kaxinath: What happened son?Why you are screaming?
Raju: Daddy, by mistakeI dropped my toothbrush in the toilet bowl.
Kaxinath: Oh, it’s okay, don’tworry.
Kaxinath goes in
YOU WERE…..
One fine Sunday morning Marian and hiswife (Dumelin) returns home from the
church and were havingtheir breakfast:-
Dumelin:Listen my dear husband, I know you love me deeply as I do, but…
Marian:But? But what darling?
Dumelin: Alwaysat night after you have your drinks,
FOR MY……
A man (PedJuze) goes to the Ringmaster of Gemini Circus and tellshim that he is
interested in joining the circus as a Lion Tamer:-
Ringmaster: Well, do you have anyexperience?
PedJuze: Oh yes. My fatherwas one of the most famous Lion Tamers in the world,
and he taught
WHERE IS……
An elderly couple ( Minglu & Ermelin) starts getting forgetful, theyvisit their
family doctor (Dr. Zuzarte):-
Dr.Zuzarte: It’s not a big deal, it happens due to age.
Ermelin: Can’t you prescribe any medicine for it doctor?
Dr.Zuzarte: No need of medicine.
Minglu:
PLEASE DON’T……
A guy (Teodu) alongwith his wife (Filsu) goes to the Super-market:-
Filsu:Love, I’ll go to the other side in the cosmetic section to buy some
make-upthings for me.
Teodu:Okay Darling.
Within afew minutes Teodu notices an attractive Lady waving at him.
FOR IT………
One fine Sunday morning, LuisPidade was sitting on an easy-chair andreading a
news-paper. His little son (Chintu) comes to him and says:-
Chintu: Dad.
LuisPidade: Yes Son.
Chintu: I want to ask you something, can I?
LuisPidade: Go on Son.
Chintu: I have seen that
BACK OF..
A plane was taking offfrom Cochin-Kerala Airport. After it reached to a
comfortablecruising altitude, the captain (Mathai) made an announcement over
the intercom:-
CaptainMathai : Ladies and gentlemen,this is your captain speaking. Welcome to
Flight Number 303,
FOR HER…..
A young man (Aaron) shopping in a supermarket noticed an Old lady following him
around. If he stops, she also stops. Furthermoreshe kept staring at him.
Old lady finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him andsaid:-
Old lady: Young man, I hopeI haven't made you
DOWN MY……
One day, littleboy (Melito) was sitting in the class and had to go to
theToilet, so he raised his hand to ask the Teacher’s permission:-
Melito:Excuse me Teacher.
Teacher: Yes Melito
Melito: Iwant to go to the toilet.
Teacher: Ok…go, but next time it will be better by
ONLY IN……
A well-established companyhad a policy of employing only married men.
Concerned about this, the leader of a local Women Liberation Union(Mrs.
Rebeca), calls the C.E.O of that company:-
Mrs.Rebeca: Good morning Sir.
C.E.O: Good morning.
Mrs.Rebeca: I am (Mrs. Rebeca), the
LOOKING FOR……
World Health Organization (WHO)held a conference and was well attended by
medical experts from all over theworld.
In thebreak time 4 doctors were chatting:-
British doctor: Medicinein my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney
out of one man, put itin another man,
OF MY……..
One fine afternoon, alittle 6 years old girl (Chinky) was returning home from
herschool. She saw a Policeman, by looking him up and down athis uniform, she
asked:-
Chinky: Excuse me Sir.
Policeman: Yes.
Chinky: Are you a Policeman?
Policeman: Yes, I am.
Chinky:
Three friends of Goan origin, Nicholas, Sonny and Tony, havingan engineering
background, but no knowledge of Konkani, decided to set a shopin their
ancestral land, Goa. They decided to set up a hi-fi modern garage;Tony came up
with a fabulous name, which actually was compiled of their names.
COULD GO……
A man (Inas) and his wife (Izu) were at Pereira’sCorner, Bar-N- Restaurant.
Inas keeps staring a drunken lady swiggingher vodka at a nearby table.
Izu: Do you know her?
Inas: (Sighs) Yes.
Izu: How?
Inas: (Murmurs) Just forget it.
Izu: No, tell me, I want to
TO HAVE…….
A 21 years young man (Joku), goes to Margao’s famous Jewelleryshop (ULHAS
JEWELLERY),Jeweller Ulhas welcomes him:-
JewellerUlhas: Good afternoon Sir.
Joku: Good afternoon.
JewellerUlhas: May I help you Sir?
Joku: Yes, I want to buy an attractive and glittering
ON YOUR……
An old lady (Ditoza) goes to her family doctor (Dr. Borges):-
Ditoza: Doctor, I have a problem with frequent gas.
Dr. Borges: Gas?
Ditoza: Yes Doctor. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are alwayssilent. As
a matter of fact, I have farted at least 9 or 10 times since
I MIGHT…….
A married man (Shankar) meets his buddy (Tulsidas):
Shankar: Hibuddy.
Tulsidas: Hi.
Shankar: Howyou are doing?
Tulsidas: I amgood.
Shankar: I youdon’t mind, may I ask you something?
Tulsidas: Yes,you may.
Shankar: Tellme, why didn't you get through with
FOR A……
One eveninga man (Andru) walks into a bar looking sad. The Bartender
greetedhim:-
Bartender:Good evening Sir.
Andru:Good evening. One beer please.
Bartender:Just a beer?
Andru:Yeah.
Bartender:Sir, if you don’t mind, can I ask you something?
Andru:U…. Ok.
HAVE JUST……
Ladru meets his friend (Pedru):-
Ladru: Hello my friend.
Pedru: Hello.
Ladru: Would you please give me a cigarette.
Pedru: But I heard that you have made a New Year resolution to quitsmoking.
Ladru: Hm…… Yes.
Pedru: Today is 14th Jan., 2016.
Ladru:
MY OWN……
RitMari was so much tensed because her husband (JuzMunel) always comes home
late night fully drunk, and if she objects toit, JuzMunel quarrels with her.
It was 11:40 p.m. when JuzMunel enters home:-
RitMari: (With anger) Listen JuzMunel, I am really fed-upwith your overdrinking
ALL BY……
Teacher Silvina was very much admired of her little student (Rayan). Because he
always keeps his books clean and tidy, andwithout fail he always does his
homework.
One fine day during her class Teacher Silvina asks Rayan:-
Teacher Silvina: Rayan
Rayan: Yesteacher.
LEAVE THE………
ABOLIN says to her husband ( LAZAR ) :-
ABOLIN: Darling?
LAZAR: Yes honey.
ABOLIN: What happened?
LAZAR: Nothing.
ABOLIN: Is something wrong?
LAZAR: No….. not at all.
ABOLIN: Than why you are so calm and quite?
LAZAR: Well, I was just thinking…...
I CAN’T……..
Three middleaged women ( ANSU, CONSU & FILSU) were planning to go for Navelim
FeastDance. Theywere discussing about the dress they would wear for the dance.
They finallydecided to choose the color that matches with the hair color of
their husband:-
ANSU: Iwill go with brown as
YOU ARE……..
A woman (Dumelin) goes for shopping. At cashcounter she opened her purse to
pay. The Cashier noticed a TV remote in herpurse. He couldn’t control his
curiosity, he asked Dumelin:-
Cashier: Ma’am, do you always carry your TV remote with you?
Dumelin: (Replied with pride)
LOT OF…….
It was late evening. Simao enters his home from his office. His wife (Pelegrin)
wassitting on the sofa and reading a magazine:-
Simao: Hi darling.
Pelegrin: Oh, there you are. Come on now, changeyour clothes and go straight to
the kitchen, there are so many utensils to
BECAUSE OF………
Luiza had a beautiful daughter(Pearl). Shewas very naughty and mischievous.
One day, little Pearl withgreat curiosity asked her Mother (Luiza):-
Pearl: Mama?
Luiza: Yes darling.
Pearl: Why your hair are turninggrey?
Luiza decided to teach herchild about good
WE ARE…….
In a government college,the Principal (Nagesham) was getting transferred to
anothercollege. A farewell party was held. And a senior Teacher (Kunda) said:-
TeacherKunda: Sir, we all are so sorry that you are going.
PrincipalNagesham: I can understand your feelings, but don’t
DO YOU……..
A Teacher(Sir Toraddo) enters into the 4th Standard classroomto teach Maths.
When he was about tobegin, a student (Petu) raises his hand and says:-
Petu: Excuseme Sir.
Sir Toraddo:Yes Petu.
Petu: Sir, canI ask you something?
Sir Toraddo: Okay Petu, ask me, what is
NOT BE…….
One fine Sunday evening Latika comes home and tells her mother (Rukminni):-
Latika: Mom, I am not going to marry that Govind, the one you have chosen for
me.
Rukminni: Why? What happened??
Latika: He says that he want to take me to Hanging-Garden and Hang-Out.
VERY FEW…..
A man (Xembu) gets a call from a company,where he had applied for a post of
Warehouse in-charge.
Xembu goes to the company and the interviewwith Xembu was in progress:-
Interviewer: Well, now let me ask you a last question, just to check how
goodyour general knowledge is.
PLEASE USE…….
The Boss, who was on the 19th floor of the building called up his newly
appointed Clerk ( Raghu ) on the ground floor:-
Boss: Raghu.
Raghu: Yes Sir.
Boss: Bring me the file, which I gave you yesterday.
Raghu: The one which is written ‘Top Confidential’?
Boss:
DOWN WITH……
This happened at Margao Railway Station; Travelers were impatientlywaiting for
the train which was late for an hour.
In the waiting room, among others there was an over smart middleaged man
(Ladru) and sitting next to him was a young boy (Bolu):
Ladru: Bolu, just to kill the
MUST BE……….
Timotio, age 87, along with Geraldina, age 83; enters into Royal Pharmacy.
Timotio addresses the man behind the counter:-
Timotio: Are you the ownerof this Pharmacy?
Pharmacist: Yes Sir.
Timotio: Do you sell heartmedication?
Pharmacist: Of course we do.
Geraldina:
GAVE ME……….
Dr. Crasto is known throughout town as one of the best consultantson arthritis.
He always has a waiting room full of people who need his adviceand special
treatment.
One day, an elderly lady ( Liberata ) slowlystruggles into his waiting room.
She is completely bent over and
LOOKING FOR……
A newly married couple (Edson Zelda) had just returned home from
theirhoneymoon trip:-
Zelda : Honey? What are you looking for?
Edson : Nothing.
Zelda : Nothing?
Edson: Yes of course, Nothing.
Zelda: You have been reading our marriage certificate for an
---
Merwyn Lobo writes:
The reality is that most of those who contribute to a pension fund will find
out that the fund owns a lot of the tobacco firms. These tobacco companies have
customers who, sorry, have addicts. Once the customer/addict lights up,
E DeSousa wrote:
Comment: This is wrong on so many levels and not funny at all. Try again.
---
E DeSouza,
The reality is that most of those who contribute to a pension fund will find
out that the fund owns a lot of the tobacco firms. These tobacco
CAJETAN DE cajde...@yahoo.com
writes:
Kistod: (Explainscalmly) Doctor, to tell you the truth. Sometimeswhen I reflect
back on all the cigarettes I smoked, I feel ashamed. Then I lookinto the
cigarette and think about the workers in the cigarette factory and allof their
hopes and
ABOUT MY…….
Kistod and his wife (Lipociana) weresitting in front of their Family-Doctor
(Dr. Noronha’s) dispensary. Dr. Noronha was veryupset after going through
Kistod’s chest X’Ray:
Dr. Noronha: (Withanger) It’s almost a year now, I was repeatedly tellingyou to
stop smoking but you
REST OF…..
The newlywed wife, Anguri, said to her husband (Pankaj),when he returned home
from work:-
Anguri: Darling, I havegreat news for you.
Pankaj: Great news?
Anguri: Yes Love. “Khush khobri”.
Pankaj: Khush khobri? Tho bholona? Please tell me.
Anguri: Pretty soon we
I DON’T………
A young man (Dylan), excitedly tells his mother (Carmelin) :-
Dylan: Mom, I am in love. Pleaseallow me to marry the girl I love.
Carmelin: Do you think thatyou will be happy with her for the rest of your life?
Dylan: Yes Mom.
Carmelin: Well, than I don’twant go
HAS BEEN……..
A 76 year oldman (Motes) goes to his family Doctor (Dr. Falcao) for a physical
check-up. Dr. Falcao runs some tests and says to Motes:-
Dr.Falcao: Well, everything seems to be in top conditionphysically. But what
about mentally?
Just tocheck if Motes is mentally okay, Dr.
FOR THE……..
Minglu received a summon from the Court to attend forthe trial:-
Judge: Iunderstand you admit to having broken into the Lily Garments Store four
times, is itright?
Minglu: Yes,Your Honor.
Judge: What didyou steal?
Minglu: Istole a dress, Your Honor.
Judge: (Bellowed) One
I HAVEN’T……..
Girgol's wife (Ritin) bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to
make her look years younger. She applied this Chamatkar products for 21 days.
One fine day, after a lengthy sitting before the mirror, Ritin asked to her
husband (Girgol):-
Ritin: Darling, would
WAITING FOR…….
It was in theclassroom, where Teacher Beatrice was having her English subject:-
Teacher Beatrice: Students please take a pencil and paperand write an essay
with the title “If I Were a Millionaire”.
Everyone began towrite furiously except Clint, who leaned backwith arms
BETWEEN THE…….
A student (Nygel) had spent all his money,so he called his mother (Saluzina)
from college hostel andasked if she could send him some:-
Saluzina: Of course, I'll send you money, dear..
Nygel: Thank you Mom.
Saluzina: By the way, you left your Bible over here, whichyou
GIVE HIM……
A very talkative middle-aged lady (AnnMari) goes to her family doctor (Dr.
Leitao):-
AnnMari: Doctor? Doctor??
Dr. Leitao: Yes AnnMari, you look frustrated, what happened?
AnnMari: You got to help me out ofthis.
Dr. Leitao: Please calm down and tellme.
AnnMari:
FOR THE……..
AleixJoao and his wife (Paulin) were in theirdeep sleep. There was a knock on
their door. AleixJoao rolls over and looks at the clock:-
AleixJoao: (Murmurs) It’s half-past two in the morning. I am not gettingout of
bed at this time (rolls over).
Then, a louder knock
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